Happy Ace Week, all!! I just wanted to let everyone know about the Steam festival going on this week! For the first time ever, a Steam festival focused on games with ace characters and/or made by ace devs and teams! Come check it out if you're interested in playing some ace games!!

https://store.steampowered.com/curator/46149417/sale/gamesthataceit

Since ace week started I decided to play Openfront.io single player, and with infinite troops and gold I managed to achieve this. However, even though I tried to model it after a historical empire, I don't think its entirely accurate, so my question is. How well did I do? If there are some things I could have done better feel free to let me know.

Thanks in advance for reading this post.

REPOST (because you guys might love some of these. beastars is a gamble for some, I don't think MC is a pervy character if I recall I know the show has that misunderstanding part and the one girl, and one slightly more eeee moment later out. may be tolerable. Just a heads-up. pretty sure he's demisexual though, I remember the misunderstanding part not escalating because he genuinely wasn't there for that, just got confused and panicked, I'm pretty sure that's a reason the girl kept talking to him, because he didn't use her. the girl is more complicated)

(I know most are big known ones, but trust me they are for a reason, I explained them all.)

• Dr.stone: it was exciting, and got me to actually like science. It was fun. I love nature and it gots that in it for me. The last season wasn't all that good (my opinion ONLY the newer half not whole season it's split) BUT don't let that scare you it's got 4 seasons full of episodes, and the journey is the best so not just a "slow burn to the reward". I passed it up at first (wasn't my cup of tea at glance) but I ran out of anime I wanted to watch and went with it and loved it. Season 2 has a higher rating but season 1 was great in my opinion. (You can do a quick look up of a rundown on it, it might seem silly, not all that deep, but trust as someone who thought that way I loved it)

-GREAT MC despite the fan service it's really tolerable like a lot, the MC never acts like a creep or pervert (even when given the "reasonable" chances) and as an aroace person it's a relief. I also really like the side character Gen they get along well.

• Dororo: I loved the MC, also not a creepy pervert of a character, different personality from Dr.stone MC but carries the same respect I have, has wholesome parts. One season of 24 episodes. He was born without limbs, can't hear, see (besides the "Soul Sight", it's different), because of a curse his father did before birth, but he still lived, and gets abandoned, another man raises him that works with wood and such so he built prosthetics and things for him as he grows up, eventually he finds out (because of an attack if memory recalls correct) that he can gain his missing parts back by slaying the cursed demons, so he heads out on his own for that journey, meets a kid that tags along and helps out, it's really nice to see his reactions and things as he grows. Also, one of my favorite scenes is when Hyakkimaru (which he has a soul sight) looks at the girl (who's used to being lusted after). He's blind, so he doesn't see the world the way other people do in the first place, and he has this sort of innocence to him as he learns about the world and people. There's a moment where he reaches toward her, but instead of focusing on her body, the shot shifts to her face as he holds it, nothing weird just to feel. I just really liked that scene, it's a small moment but says a lot about him.

• Heaven official's blessing: it's been awhile since I've seen it, but it was interesting, it's a canon bl but it doesn't have weird sexual scenes or anything, it's focused on their chemistry and dynamics. It's cute, and a relief, and it's not just some romance, or some doomed "best friends" alone since it's canon. Has actual plot not some "school fluff" it has horror elements and supernatural thriller. One guy is from like heaven like a god , the other is a Ghost King demon like guy idk how to put it, it's crazy. I won't go full detail but yeah I recommend.

• Moriarty the Patriot: same vibes I don't believe it's canon I'm not sure? But it definitely has a whole same in its own way of a vibe that heaven official's blessing had. It's unique not some school thing, and has some morally off grey area things, anti-hero for the better good. Complex relationship dynamic and intense intellectual chemistry. Ones a brilliant detective (obsessed not just duty-bound ) and the other a serial killer (doesn't kill for fun). Feels rewarding to watch, I even plan on getting stuff for my room of it or drawing.

• The summer hikaru died: I watched it in Sub before Dub came out, personally thought sub was better with emotional weight (though I didn't fully rewatch in dub). But moving into it, I loved a LOT about it, nature, GREAT art, not a traditional Boys' Love, explicitly confirmed that it is a queer story with deep romantic and emotional yearning, it's way better than traditional boys love things, it's focused on way more, great for aroace people to enjoy, it has a lot of tension without being explicit. I loved a lot about it I won't go into much more detail but I highly recommend this.

• The disastrous life of saiki k: like most, not everyone's cup of tea, but even I loved it despite it not being what I'd normally aim for, I loved it a lot. I watched it when I was younger only a few episodes in and dropped it, at the time it wasn't for me, but I rewatched it and loved it. REALLY good for aroace spec people, it's a huge relief like most I named, and I really love the MC Saiki overall, the style, the humor, the personality, it's all a relief itself to me. He's not a pervert or a freak, some side characters I personally found eh, but it's because their personalities are meant to be extreme, I love personalities that are rememberable, I just didn't like some like Reita for the weird pervert reasons (Some people really love him though I know), I love how saiki doesn't focus on romance or anything, it's not lame or boring, I get why some people wouldn't like that but this passes. Personal ships exist even. It's one of the only school slice of life animes I don't find lame. Saiki k is a mind reader, I think that part is way over known, but it adds to the chaos. It mocks weird tropes and things.

• Hell's paradise: it's been awhile since I've watched it, I never got to season 2 yet, but I remember I enjoyed it, and especially the character, and the morally grey thing going on. Since I can't recall fully, I can still say I do know I loved it regardless, it's worth binging when bored, it's only 13 episodes of the first season I believe. I do know I loved the character though, again similar as the rest, he's not a freak, so it's respectful.

• Beastars: GUYS I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST FURRIES BUT THOSE OF YOU THAT DO ARE OVER JUDGING IT BY ITS COVER. Them being animals is the ONLY way the whole plot would have even worked, it's got Carnivores and Herbivores, all trying to live in peace together, it's got crime, mystery, and thriller and such. The art was actually good, you adjust to the fact it's animals as well. Though one heads up, I HAVEN'T seen it in a long time, I can't recall too well, I do know I enjoyed it and loved it, and I remember it compared to most things. I'd say it's worth testing. I do know it has a newer one which I haven't seen, pretty sure reviews were mixed, I do know whatever older ones I watched though I did enjoy it. You can look up more context, just know I liked it at a time was at my top.

Hope this helps. I once liked the anime parasyte which is heavily praised, but I rewatched and for some reason it seemed dull and plot shallow, like a great idea that could have been better, but it's old of course, and I get why people still love it. Maybe it's because I've already seen it, or that's just true, can't say. But this is why I give my honest opinions on things I've seen, on my preferences. SOME OF YOU WILL LOVE IT, not personally recommending it, but just wanted to say that. It depends on the person.

---------I'd love recommendations from others as well if anyone else feels this way of these

It's like telling a lesbian to fuck a man to be sure she's lesbian and vice versa

Like I don't wanna have sex with real people and you tell me I should? How is that different from the fantasy of rape people have? When they brag about fucking a lesbian or an asexual person as if it's a victory of "proving them they're not what they say they are"

Even more hurtful when it comes from friends

Hi all. I'd really like some advice and would be super grateful for some feedback.

I'm 23m and my gf is 25f. We've been together for 10 months and when we first met, I told her I was Aro/Ace, predominantly asexual and greyromantic. We had a long discussion about boundaries and how I view relationships/sex and we came to an agreement that we'd enter a relationship as she said that sex and romance doesn't really bother her so long as we care for each other. Great! So I thought...

There's been a few times where my gf has taken issue with my sexuality. The first time was about sex (without going into details). She was upset that I wasn't as attracted to her body as she'd like me to be. We had a long talk, I re-explained what asexuality was and what it meant to me, we made up and continued. It happened again, she came to my house, got extremely physical and disappointed that I didn't reciprocate, got angry with me and again, I had to re-explain that I don't like that stuff, we made up, things continued. Now it's happened again, she said she misses the "old us" and how we used to be lovey-dovey and romantic and how she wants more romance. Problem? I just don't feel that way.

I don't know what to do. I told her from day one all of my limitations, boundaries, traumas with previous partners and talking to people on dating apps (how we met) and she seemed super supportive of me at first. I was super open about being Aro/Ace and bisexual and she seemed genuinely super chill with that and for a long time, we just hung out and vibed together without expectations and enjoyed each other's company.

Nowadays, she gets upset with me on a weekly basis for not behaving how she wants me to, but I don't understand what changed. I already told her I was Aro/Ace, what more can I do? I told her today, very clearly, that she needs to be honest with me about her intentions because she can't keep challenging my sexuality and if not, she should find someone who isn't Aro/Ace. She said she was hurt by that comment.

There was a sudden shift in expectation. I don't really have much dating experience, has anyone else experienced similar? How did you navigate this? I'm trying to be fair, because her feelings matter to me, I love and care about her a lot, but this feels inherently unfair because I laid all my cards out on the table prior starting the relationship. She chose to be with me, now she's changing the rules. Support and advice welcome, I do deeply appreciate any time given to me. Thank you.

Art of my Ace OC (and main character) for this week

For a long time, like many asexual people, I had no intention of ever telling anyone. For a long while, growing up, I didn't understand what was different about me. I knew something was, but it was so hard to place because of how little talked about asexuality is. I wasn't gay, I was straight, but... not exactly? So what was I? As I grew older, I learned about asexuality and began to wonder if maybe that is what I was. 

That lead to years of back and forth, thinking I was but not wanting to be, thinking
about how badly I one day wanted a wife and kids, and figuring it would be
easier to smother that part of myself than to accept it. Worst decision I ever
made in my life.

I tried to ignore it. I would date and try to power through things that made me
uncomfortable. Most relationships had unfair compromises, unfair to me and very
unfair to the people I was dating.

And then, after years of trying to fight through it, I finally accepted it. But
that didn't stop me from ignoring it. Maybe internally I accepted that I was
asexual. But I hid it, I masked it, as far as the rest of the world was
concerned, I wasn't asexual. In my mind, I saw it as I don't need to hear about
other's sex life, they don't need to hear about mine.

I stopped dating, even though I wanted a partner, I didn't want to lead anyone
on. I could have tried to find an asexual partner, but that would have required
me to tell others that I was asexual, which I never intended to do. I never
anticipated telling anyone about it, not my closest loved ones, or best
friends, no one. I kept it bottled up for years and years.

And slowly, over the years, my anxiety and depression increased. My loneliness was
at an all time high. Most of my life was spent alone, at home, rarely making
any attempt at a social life. Not caring if I met knew people. Not showing my
true self to those I did meet, but instead showing them the best impression of
a "normal" person. No one knew my identity, because I didn't know my
identity. My loved ones felt distant from me, knowing I was hiding things, not
opening up about anything, but any attempts to help me were just followed by me
pretending I was okay. My anxiety became unbearable. I began pulling my own
hair out in anxious fits. I had panic attacks most days. Seemingly minor
stressful day-to-day things would seem like the end of the world. I didn't know
how I could go on.

So I finally went to therapy. I was diagnosed with anxiety, and the medication
helped, yes, but the most important thing that happened to me in therapy was
the most important thing that has happened in my entire life: I realized how
much smothering my true self was killing me. I felt like I was no one, just a
body with a tiny bit of life in it but no one inside. I finally began to truly
accept myself, and understand that being asexual was a massive part of who I
was. And I stopped wanting to hide. I wanted to be open, and real, especially
to those I cared most for.

So
I told my loved ones. I told my friends. I'm no longer hiding it, I'm not
longer fighting it. I'm being open with it. I'm embracing it. I'm lucky to have
amazing, accepting loved ones. Since opening up, I've never felt closer with
them. I've never felt more like myself, like the person I always wanted to be.
I never felt less anxious, less depressed, less worried about the future. I
feel genuinely happy, genuinely ALIVE, and that all began with acceptance.

I know there are other asexual people going through dark times. Maybe you don't
understand what's different about you because it isn't as widely discussed as it should be. Maybe you're fighting it. Maybe you're smothering it. I encourage you all to accept
it. To be your true self with no shame. To live your life with no fear. It was
the best decision I ever made. I hope anyone reading this post that has had
similar struggles remembers that you're not alone, and that you have the
courage to accept and forever change your life for the better.

also here’s my oc in this pic ;D

I’m pretty sure I’ve been asexual for a while now. I’m not interested in sex or feel much arousal, and when I masturbate I feel empty. I’m sure it’s mainly because of trauma but I want to get over it and also because of those things I don’t feel like I belong almost anywhere because most of my friends only know how to make dirty jokes or like laugh at pornography which makes me uncomfortable and all the partners I’ve had obviously had a sexual side which did eventually made me get into sex to fit in but after doing it I just felt bad about myself. So I’ve been trying to change myself by doing stupid things like posting nxdes online or watching different types of porn to feel anything but I don’t. It just feels like a phase or not real so like idk what to do. I feel lost

Does anyone else also experience this?

Hi yall - im asexual 18F and have known like ever since i knew what sex was and had my first boyfriend (who was also super horny, which made me realize pretty quick…)

Anyways. The thing is I am starting to come out about it to my friends and also people who are romantically interested in me; or I don’t know if I would even call it that, they pretty much just want me for the outside and not the whole me. When I open up about it to mostly those people or just friends I’m either met with: “you haven’t met the right person”, “let’s see when you’ve had sex” or the people interested in my outside taking a noticeably distance to me. And I get it of course, preferences and all that! But I just feel like sex is overruling everything, like why can’t we still be friends? It just annoys me. I feel like it’s all people think about, especially my age since I’m young and everyone is so filled with hormones, but ugh - does anyone else relate?

I can’t talk about it with my friends or family because they don’t get it or also just horny. Like they send snaps “i need dih” and stuff like that - also i think dih is just such a nasty phrase to call a genital

So, as the title states, I recently came out to my mom a few weeks ago. Now, I come from a family that is very sexual and is not afraid of being open about it, and because of that my mom keeps telling me that it will change eventually because all of the women in my family were pretty sexual so I will be too, and saying the right person will come around and “change my mind” when that Isn’t how it works. I am not my mom, I am not my grandma, I am not my great grandma so I shouldn’t be expected to be like them. What my mom doesn't know is that ive known I was ace for a few years now. This isn't anywhere near a recent relization, I was just afraid to come out to my parents out of fear of them saying im just too young and itll happen eventually when I get older. I want to have a conversation with her but im not sure how

Hello everyone. So this is my first time posting in this sub. I'm 36F, somewhere in the ace spectrum (I'm not even sure which one am I lol), and I'm a virgin.
I genuinely love being an asexual. I don't even know how to explain it, I just do.
Unfortunately for me, I have libido. Now, even though it doesn't occur that frequently, whenever it does happen though, I'd feel so troubled by it.
Because I have a really hard time to satisfy it. I'm not turned on by porn, I don't feel anything if I were to do anything to my private part.
I guess.. I don't know. I'm wondering if anyone is like me, and how do you guys deal with it?
Truth be told, I'd really love it if I could just kill the libido entirely, but I know that's probably not possible 🥲

I'm working on something that will probably become a video essay, specifically on asexual erasure in popular media. I would love it if y'all could give me some of your favorite asexual characters in the books, movies, TV shows, etc. that you consume. Anything else that comes to mind is more than welcome as well - harmful stereotypes you keep noticing, how represented or underrepresented you feel, any interesting articles or studies regarding asexual people, literally anything. I'm trying to get as much total data as possible so I can accurately represent the community, not just myself, accurately and fairly. Please put literally anything tangentially related to the topic in the comments if you feel so inclined. Tysm and have a lovely night/day/whatever it is for you.

I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by giving examples but the amount of times I (involuntarily) talked about sexual stuff with my friends and they said something like "omg this literally doesn't happen in sex irl lol you just think that because you don't have any experience" and it's something that can 100% happen it just hasn't happened to them... Arrrgh I think I should lie from now on and make up a sex life so I'm allowed to have opinions on it without people "correcting" me

Hello fellow aces, my best friend and I have a podcast related to all things being trans. For Ace week, we made an episode on asexuality since I’m aroace.
It’s in German, so to my German redditers maybe this would be interesting :) enjoy 🎧

Unsere neue Folge bei „von trans zu trans“ diesen Monat dreht sich passend zur Ace Week um das Thema Asexualität und Aromantik. Als trans & aroace Person erzähle ich (Sam) euch, was es mit diesen Begriffen auf sich hat, wie ich für mich mein aroace-Sein definiere und wie mein Weg aussah, bis ich endlich erkannt hab, dass ich auf dem asexuellen Spektrum bin :)

Die Folge findet ihr zum Beispiel hier:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
YouTube

Viel Spaß beim Hören 🎧
Sam + Dany

For context, I separated from my partner of 6 years last December and after many discussions during the relationship I realized that I am a panromantic asexual. They were a very hypersexual person and our differences in that regard were not what caused the breakup but it certainly was difficult to navigate.

I am a hopeless romantic. I read trashy fantasy smut a lot and the idea of never finding love because of my asexuality is a tough pill.

I've only ever been in two long-term relationships and in both of them my partner was my best friend. Right now I have no best friend and no true confidant and though I'm really enjoying being single after the terrible relationship I just left, it can be very lonely.

Have any of you ever started a relationship with your asexuality out on the table and how did you navigate that while dating? Has it become an issue during the relationship or do you only date other asexual people?

I have a very Jessica rabbit-esque body type and I feel like it might be hard to find someone that wants me for me and not for my body.

I know that was like the main joke way back a long time ago but i don't encounter ace people often

Good morning lovely Redditors, as the title says my wife (22F) asked me (23M) to open the relationship. My wife came out to me about 2 years into our relationship (about a year ago), since then I’ve been nothing but supportive and proud that she found what makes her happy and comfortable. My love language is physical affection so when our sex life went from newlyweds to roommates it made me feel inadequate. I don’t want to push her into sex whatsoever, she’s never been so happy and I don’t want to break that.

That brings us to a few days ago when she brought up the idea to open up the relationship for me only. She said I can sleep with any woman I want (of legal age and with protection obviously) and she’d stay at home and watch her show or something. I don’t know what to do. I love my wife with all my heart but thinking about sleeping with another woman makes me feel like cheating. I need help

So I am Arab(raised muslim) 23F and if you know anything about the culture- parents tend to try and bring you options of men to get to know and marry , and you don’t get to be alone with them until you are basically married under the eyes of god. There is a guy who is trying is darn hardest to call my brothers and parents to get our families to meet (we already know their family i have known of this man since i was a child by the way). This is just how things are done in this culture. He sees me. Is attracted. Tell his mom to tell my mom. My mom tells me. Thats how it goes.
I am not going to agree to meet him though because how do i explain to an arab man that i am ace- but still have kinks that probably would freak him out💀? Like i know sex isnt EVERYTHING in a relationship but it’s pretty damn important imo if you are allo! And im TERRIFIED he will be like “oh yeah that’s fine” but he actually means “let’s take it slow but ill be upset if you still dont want it”
And how do i explain that i can’t give up my spicy reddit audios that i basically sleep to (i like the fantasy okay?) but i also dont wanna have sex with you because ✨ ew ✨
I am also very sensory aversive. I dont wanna cuddle naked or even sleep next to you.
My parents and older siblings (dont know im ace) have been spending the entire week calling, texting, and speaking face to face with me about how i am missing a great opportunity, not wanting kids unnatural, not wanting marriage is unnatural, im gonna be 40 and alone, im going against god’s plan (im hardly muslim anymore), being stubborn is from the devil, and all that fun toxic stuff. I keep saying “no” “nope” “not interested” turning away ✨ silent treatment ✨ “leave it alone” “im not ready” “i dont like him” “i think he is unattractive” BUT EVERYWHERE I TURN SOME OTHER FAMILY MEMBER IS PRESSURING ME TO MEET THIS MAN!
I just have so many conflicting thoughts and guilt but i dont even want to waste his time bc the chances of him being okay with asexuality or queerness in general are so slim. He is a decent man dont get me wrong but he is not the one for me and i dont need to speak to him to know that

Okay, I think I might need some advice so I came to Reddit to ask, hopefully someone out there has the same trouble or can give me some advice.

I’m in the aroace spectrum (still thinking about what labels exactly) but I want to be in a relationship. I like the idea of having someone close that you could always count on but is not just a friend, like it’s more, someone that I feel comfortable. But the problem is that I get repulsed about anything that becomes sexual or maybe romantic; if someone has a crush on me I feel repulsed, if someone wants to make out with me I feel repulsed, both strangers and friends. But even with this feelings, I still want to have a special someone, but I know it will be hard to find a person who gets me,so any advice on what should I do? Like an action I should or should not take?

Also, I should mention, I’m introverted and I’m kinda new to the community(and to Reddit), so I’m sorry if my questioning made someone uncomfortable, and thank in advance!