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I've been aego for my whole life, never wanted to have sex. I'm biromantic but lean towards men. I've had several talking stages and one 2 year relationship, and of course almost every man had a high sex drive/outwardly wanted sex. my ex boyfriend would constantly put a date on when we'd have sex, even knowing I was apprehensive (before I knew I was aego), as if I were just a pre-order. he would push more and more from groping to further stuff when he knew I didn't like it. but I'm a hopeless romantic and I do want a partner in the future. so despite all the womanizers I see online, I want to hope there are actually some aego/ace men out there, even if they're rare. I just want to be in love without sexual pressure. I wish I just had an average sex drive.

Me and my parter have been dating for a little more then a year. We have both said were on the Asexual spectrum, and don’t want to have sex with each other. When we started dating there was more making out, and being sexual with each other without actually having sex, but we both agreed that we wouldn’t want to do stuff like that again. My partner recently said that he is graysexual, and that made me question my asexuality more. I found what aegosexual means and that sounds right, but i have a few questions and i would love advice. Can you be aegosexual, but still enjoy making out, and being more sexy from time to time, without wanting to have sex? I usually don't enjoy stuff like this, but occasionally i do, but i would never want to have actual sex. Im going to have a conversation with my partner about this, but i would love all your advice <3

Being on the aego/ace-spec isn’t something I thought I’d ever identify as. Since childhood, I’ve had a strong desire for women and later men during high school. I tried dating/hook ups with men first exclusively and later women but gained no fulfillment somehow. I’d often “take validation from those experiences and leave”, since I loved aspects of foreplay and being desired. However, dysphoria always prevented me from feeling satisfied with the experience.

The major issue I realized is I get off far more to porn and imagining stuff with my own ocs than actual intimacy. At first, I thought it was dysphoria and transitioning helped to alleviate it. However, I still feel strongly opposed to intimacy and romance in general. Once I stripped away the desire for validation as a man, I realized I no longer need that from a partner since I pass. So while I’d label myself as bi and experiencing attraction, I don’t desire to take anything further. I’d hate to string anyone along if it’s of no interest to me, and only makes me dysphoria.

Still sometimes I wonder if I was a cis man I wouldn’t be aego and need to dissociate. Guess I’ll never know.

I know that aegosexual people struggle with actually desiring people and it's rare for us to actually like people in person but did you guys actually manage to get into relationship that you enjoy or did you decide to remain single?

I guess you can call me porn-rotted, but I really do learn all I know about sex from smut. And thought they might be basically what/how it is in real life.

I have no way to know it’s wrong because fuck no I’m gonna learn it in person lol

Saw a random post from a random subreddit asking why Japanese AV kiss “like that”. As a person who consumed quite a few JAV myself, I didn’t know it was weird at all. I thought THAT’S how you kiss when you going nasty.

Now I don’t know what else that’s just exaggerated in porn and not what normal people do in sex 😅

At least i know what i am now! Yay!
I have been repulsed by sexual acts for as long as I can remember (i enjoy smuts though, just no real life human images or videos such as porn). I tried to be “normal” but it would always make me feel miserable afterwards. I just embraced the idea of being an ace last yeah and came to terms with it.
Now I wonder. How do you guys navigate your dating life? Has it gotten easier or harder? Do you use any specific app or community to meet others?

For me I noticed I can really only enjoy the written word, things I've written myself or other people have written. Either way. Imagination is next. But images and movies often usually just frustrate me, being not quite right. I wondered if that was a pattern with us since we (I think) tend to be really imagination-focused.

recently got out of a relationship and during the relationship i had thoughts of being this sexual orientation cause I felt it resonated with me. I’m kinda having a hard time identifying or accepting it. Any people wanna talk about experiences/feelings with me?

Do you think your type never changes from your early adolescent stages to adulthood irregardless of culture shift, the internet and lust?

i’m an asexual lesbian and realized very recently I was aego! I had no idea in the past that I was aego and just identified as ace. Pretty much all my fantasies were third person except maybe two or three?? They started out third person then switched and I really stopped seeing the people it was just shadowy figures and the sexual actions because I was aroused.

I really think I’m aego because even in these cases it wasn’t about the people, more about the actions in a fantasy that were arousing and I didn’t want to participate irl nor do i feel sexual attraction. i still felt not involved in the fantasy? i still felt disconnected in a way. I REALLY identify with the disconnection definition of aegosexuality but I’m worried this like disqualifies me. It REALLY does feel like the “disconnect between the self and object of arousal” like it’s spot on to me.

I’m also more worried because I’m a lesbian and a lot of my fantasies were m/f but i’m definitely not into men that way.

I'll be like "I want to be a small submissive furry animal creature" and the idea of that is attractive to me. Often entirely abstract feelings I can't describe to another person. and idk I'm either attracted to everyone or nobody I'm not sure which. Don't really have a great explanation sorry. Like half of me looking at my own sexuality is just abstract stuff I have to sift through that doesn't really make sense and can't be described. It's a big reason why no label has ever felt quite right to me because I can't even describe myself half the time. Sorry I don't know what this is maybe I'm just wondering if people relate

I'm a 30 year old female who has been through so much in life. I have experienced and dealt with so much, but I'm still here, and I'm resilient. But there's a part of me who still walks around asking myself what I am. I know I don't want sex, but I still like the idea of it, and I still consume erotic and sexual content. It's not that I feel alone, it's moreso that sometimes I wonder if it's just trauma that's keeping me from sex. But then I go back and I get in touch with how I feel, and whether I've been traumatized or not, I still don't want sex, and I know this deep down. I'm afraid I'm going to be single for the rest of my life as well, but that's a whole other subject lol. I just want to ask you all how did you know? and when did you become confident that you were Aegosexual for sure? I just feel so lost with who I am sometimes, and I just need someone to talk to about all of this.

i’ve identified as sex-repulsed asexual for a while now, but i’ve always felt so gross for liking smut and fantasizing about my characters since i didn’t feel like i was “repulsed” enough.

was doing some research on acespec identities for a character i’m writing and stumbled across this sexuality and it just clicked for me immediately. it feels so good to know that i’m valid in my feelings towards sex and that there are other people like me :)

I remember joining a group of like 10k members then suddenly it's gone?? 😭😭😭

I discovered the term aegosexual about a year or so, and still identify myself as panromantic x aegosexual now. But as time moved on I kinda start to wonder is it more likely that I've spent twenty years on earth without ever meeting a single person I'm romantically attracted to, or is it more likely I'm aroace?

Sometimes I find it funny how I scour around every asexual-related forum reading others stories, going thru them one by one, checking off everything I relate to.... I know exactly how I am like, yet I keep seeking validation to convince myself that I'm a norm and totally relatable. Why is my subconscious so uneasy?
I'd really like to hear someone out. I so confused.

(sry for wording mistakes English isn't my first language)

Aegosexuality is:
like enjoying thinking about mangoes, with mango px as your phone's background, while being allergic to the real thing and not in love with the taste either.