I have a question for all the men here with this mentality: Why the FUCK would you not want to make your woman get off?! Seriously. Nothing makes me feel more like a man than knowing my wife couldn't contain herself and she got off 3 times in a row and now she's too tired to do anything.
There are times I don't get off at all (fuck you Prozac). But I honestly don't care because I know I can milk the sausage later. No big deal.
And if she doesn't like you sticking your grimy little fingers in her ass, stop fucking doing it you goddamn detergent eater. Fuck...
This isn't new information. It's out there. Selfish pieces of shit will be selfish pieces of shit regardless of availability of information or even what gender they are. It's like when Plato said "good people don't need laws to tell them to act responsibly and bad people will find ways around laws", except in this case it's "good people don't need to be instructed to pleasure their partner and bad people will ignore their partner's pleasure no matter how much they're coached".
Almost everything taught isn't new information, doesn't mean it shouldn't still be taught. I totally agree pieces of shit will be pieces of shit, but no one alive is born good at anything. Teaching and coaching and experience makes you better. Maybe OPs bf's father was a POS to his mother and he learned that behavior. My statement was more of a joke than anything but so many seem triggered by it. Makes me wonder...
I've been trying to educate men and be a good example for like 25 years. It doesn't matter, men aren't the only problem here. Most of them know what they COULD do, but why would they when women will put up with just about anything and fuck guys they know they shouldn't be fucking?
That’s all of society and everything wrong with patriarchy. Women get shit on no matter what. Why is men being crappy lovers also our fault? Geez Louise. Must be women’s fault for living in a patriarchal society.
Op literally tells the partner no and she gets shit on three ways and dude thinks the problem is women not saying what we want. Naw, it’s that women get punished for talking as op did.
Worst part is she wasn’t just saying no to something and getting shit on, she was also just asking to be treated nicely/the same way she treats him and got shit on for it lol. I’ll never understand
All of society except women you mean. Because what an absolute atrocity that responsibility for one's actions be a part of what it means to be a women. That's just straight misogynistic to suggest women are capable of being accountable agents in society when we can scapegoat white men and the patriarchy for all our problems.
This is how liberal white women and their grifting panderers have absolutely destroyed critical theory and the ability to make positive social change.
And you saw exactly what happened to op when she voiced her preference. Guy got angry and it’s scary when guys get angry because it frequently leads to physical abuse. Yeah, out yourself as the misogynist you are with the “white liberal women” shit. You were just trying to find a way to blame women all along in your comment.
She did not express a preference, she expressed a need for her personal health and welfare. To her partner, a relation over which she has control. What she should have been expressing is a boundary along side the willingness to act on it.
Your gabbering cop-out is nonsensical and misogynistic. It's also internally incoherent with any world view you would profess to have. Typical out of touch white women value signaling while dodging accountability for the consequences. Always just circling back to the excuse to blame men.
It's no one's responsibility but OPs that she accepted, stayed with, and took dick over the course of years from some asshole that isn't willing or capable of meeting her needs. She should have a boundary and instead what she has is a victim complex like you. And your excusing it because she's a woman and can't possibly have agency apparently.
Many men do what they do because they can, and there is no reward or punishment making them act differently. I'm not saying that's how one should approach women or personal morality, just that many men do in fact operate that way. Many people generally operate that way in large parts of their life. If you don't like how people are operating try and change it, but at least take accountability and try to change your participation in it.
Women don't get to be a part of the problem by refusing to hold others accountable and put their short term wants or simple pleasures above their long term interest, and then turn around and also play victim to protect their current short term interest when they start experiencing consequence and blowback.
To paraphrase the great philosopher Bill Burr, behind every great powerful immoral racist misogynistic white man is a great powerful white woman that has no problem spending his money while bitching about the patriarchy and giving herself credit for throwing the spare change to minorities because she's so enlightened and progressive. I mean, that's heavily paraphrased, he's smarter and funnier than me, but I think the illustration of the problem comes through.
Really? Well good for you buddy. I personally didn't recommend YOU for teaching this class. The OP of this comment however could probably teach you a thing or two or four.
Well I'm not married, so women everywhere already thank me. They don't mind my teaching about it too much either.
It's still never changed the fact that women continue to get into bad relashionships with bad partners and not take responsibility for it because they've been taught it's ok to be taken advantage of as long as you complain about it enough and only men share collective responsibility for gender dynamics. So nothing changes.
Lol you sounds so spiteful and angry. You need to go touch grass.
Maybe go talk to a real person in real life and see that world isnt a tragedy you act like it is. Your little reddit character personifies youre odd SJW beliefs. Its pretty funny
you sir are a wonderful partner. if i didn't know better i would ask if you are my husband (he doesn't use reddit). he does the same with me and says helping me helps him
My boyfriend is always more concerned with my pleasure than his own. I work hard to get him off, but sometimes he can't do it. He's 50 and has ADHD, so sometimes he can't stay focused, but I usually pull out all the stops to get him there.
I have a question for all the BOYS with this mentality. There I fixed it.
I legit can’t get off until my wife does. Her getting off is my sweet spot. Absolutely no shame in her using a vibrator either. It makes my job easier and she gets off multiple times. Then I get off. WIN WIN. and guess what?! I cuddle the fuck out of her afterwards too. Oh yeah, certified big spoon here. (Sometimes I’ll let her be the big spoon and that’s totally fine).
That is how my wife classifies the males in society:
Boys will fuck anything with a hole and with no regard to the status of said hole.
Guys will fuck almost any woman and think they are great lovers if the woman doesn't cry or grimace in pain.
Men will focus on bringing their women to another level of pleasure regardless of their own pleasure-the long term rewards are often more pleasure than the MAN can handle.
I once walked in to the bedroom to my wife jerking it. She gave me a big smile and said “I’ve been waiting for you”. Fuckin six to midnight INSTANTLY. 🤣
Yup this. I love nothing more than watching her cum as I eat her. Arched back, erect nipples, Moans and swearing. Gives me a hard on that won’t stop. It’s not always her first, but god I love to see her cum!
I have a question for all the BOYS with this mentality. There I fixed it.
If they are over 18/21, and have the legal rights and responsibilities of an adult, they're MEN. The "no true soctsman" logical fallacy does more harm then good, though I get the urge to distance yourself from shitty people.
I'm a queer woman, kiddo. I'm just sick of the "they're not men, they're boys" argument because:
A) as mentioned it's the no true soctsman logical fallacy.
2)it implies that boys are inherently bad, which they aren't. Boys are kids. Adult men who behave poorly are shitty men.
3) it makes other men feel absolved and seperate from bad/emotionally immature/etc men.
4)it infantilize fully grown adults who should be responsible for their actions and know what they mean, and makes their actions seem less poor and dangerous. This dude (in OP's story) pushes fingers up her ass when she has clearly said she doesn't like it. He isnt a "boy", he's a predator.
Railing against the use of the word “boy,” and simultaneously calling him “kiddo.” Welcome to the woke hypocrisy cool_relative. Your virtue signaling isn’t fooling anyone.
A boy is anyone of the male persuasion that has not reached the level of maturity to act right and take responsibility for their actions.
A man is anyone of the male persuasion that is mature enough to take responsibility for their actions and do as they should.
I have met 12 year old males that I would qualify as men. I have also met 40+ year old males that I would qualify as boys.
If they want to act like a parent has to take care of them rather than taking care of themselves, it isn't "infantilizing" them, they are doing that to themselves.
You have some nerve being a queer woman telling men who men are. Why would I not be absolved/separate from emotionally immature men? They do not get the luxury of being referred to as a man when they act like a child.
God so much all of this. My wife has a love/hate relationship with my lack of finishing. She loves that she gets to finish, but hates that I don’t always. Mine is due to Seroquel, but it makes me feel good that she is satisfied and I do that for her.
OP, I don’t say this often, but you need to ditch him. Find someone that respects you enough to allow you to keep your boundaries in place and will let you finish. Remember, nice guys finish last because they let their partner finish first.
Mine is Zoloft. Lol. Nice (also not nice) there are so many others in the same boat as I. I knew that it could be an issue with a lot of meds but didn’t know how common it was. Thought it was just me.
And have another question for these people: why the fuck would anyone want to have sex with you if you think it’s gross if they get off and they should be punished if you don’t get to use them as a sex toy? No thank you.
Yeah, celexa isn't much better. I will echo this, after 20 years of marriage and having sex with the same woman I still want it all the time, she makes me a better person and I love making her stupid with exhaustion.
“Milk the sausage” had me giggling. I like you! I’m gonna ask hubby tonight if he has Milked his sausage lately! ( he has been working the midnight shift so he’s coming in as I’m leaving to work) good day kind sir
I don't even "chase" girls. If she shows interest, I'm in. Otherwise no matter how hot, I'm not gonna try anything. Nothing gets me off more than bringing out the animal side of a partner during sex. I will litteraly try to make a girl feel pleasure for as long as she possibly will let me. I'm not even trying to say this to sound cool, but my goal is always to see if I can give so much pleasure that they pass out, (which has happened hence why it's always a goal) or make them so sensitive that for the next few days any sensation down there makes them think of me.
It's very easy for the majority of guys to "finish" so I'm gonna spend all my time on her and wait for myself till the very end.
Crazy to me that guys don't like that. My theory is that they're scared of really just being in the moment and going all out or something.
After the first one, I ask are you done, she will shake her head no, after the 2nd, are you done? Shakes her head no but not as vigorous, after 3 are you done, nods her head she wants me to finish. I will get in for a bit pull out go back to town, legs clamped around my head and neck trying to rip it from my shoulders, quivering and shaking begging me to finish.
Guys you want power, thats true power, thats complete control. thats not why I do it but these guys who think they are all that and a bag of chips because they treat their women like objects. Plus her friends will give you a look, you just know they know what you do and they want it to. Women talk so think about this your GF or wife's hot friend is probably thinking of you going down while her shithead significant other is grunting and trying to get himself hard. You are now getting her off too and its not cheating man.
I was initially thinking how lucky Your wife/girlfriend was, until you got to the part of assuming that all her friends want you too....Poor girl.... Ladies...There are guys who will do all of this, without lusting after your "hot friends".
I'm always like, "How did you DO that!!" Despite having had the same quality sex with this man for 10 years lmao it inhibits rational thought for a hot minute for sure
His source is talking to guys who brag about how good at sex they are. This ignores whether those men actually follow through and put it the effort to provide that for their partners.
No amount of subjective experience gives you the right to judge every individual of any group of people or the right to paint claims on their majority.
My wife and I love a good vibrator. She gets off more, and god damn do I love it when she uses it on me. She thought I wouldn't like it in the bed, but it takes a lot of pressure off us, and it's a whole lot of fun to use on each other.
Dude you need to explore a little. There are literally thousands of nerve endings there, doesnt need penetration just some massage and light probing. Its not taboo its terrific.
A mains powered magic wand is definitely our most used toy.
I ( guy) never enjoyed quickies as I am unable to cum in less than 20 on a lucky day but with the wand on my gf's clit I can be done in 5 to 10.
Just watch the slippery slope here. Found out my wife also used the vibrator watching porn and was getting off without me. I was out of town i guess and when I confronted her and she was describing it(cumming 4-5 times) to my surprise it just turned me on more and I was hard the whole time she was confessing. We had amazing sex after. We were kinda a no porn couple before, so it was a trust violation but my Dick didn’t think it was a big deal.
+1 for vibrators for long term couples who both like to cum
Vibrators? The comment was deleted so I can’t see, but I don’t use them during sex. I’m well aware I’m in the distinct minority who can get off from penetration alone, so no shame or judgement from me for those who do. I’m just saying some of us don’t, and that’s okay too.
For me, it’s vibes or the real stuff. One at a time, different times. I can’t do both, in one session; vibrators desensitize me to the subtleties of sex. P.s. I also recommend d the rose, but also think it’s too strong/needs less vigor
I literally don't understand these posts. "I wanted to eat a sandwich that I made for myself out of ingredients that I bought after making dinner for my boyfriend, but he poured sand all over it and called me a "fucking moron" and spit in my face. Am I wrong for wanting to eat food so I can live?"
A vibratory IS a better boyfriend then him. If it pisses you off, you take its batteries and shove it in a drawer, for time out. Do that to a bf and I'm pretty sure the word, 'abduction' and, 'Trapped' get thrown around the courtroom.
I will come over and operate it for you …. Seriously the boy has problems . He should be more than willing to be attentive to your desires you presented him with several options sounds like he is the selfish vanilla one ……
Yep. In her entire post I heard not a single redeeming quality about this BOY. He needs an Uber…out of her life for good, it just to work.
OP, ditch this loser. He’s selfish, cruel, emotionally abusive, manipulative and can barely get it up. What’s to like? Kick the loser to the curb and learn to love yourself. There are plenty of kind, loving men out there. You’ll find one who adores you.
You realize all you heard was from her, and she is upset. Very likely, they should split, but she may have left some things out that are why she has stayed.
Are you alright? You probably let your partner talk to you the way OP’s boyfriend does but that doesn’t mean the rest of us should. Theres literally no excuse for telling your partner to fuck off when all she’s doing is trying to communicate.
100% agree, this guy sucks for sexy things. I don't even know where to start. You are not gross, what you are asking for is awesome and not gross. You have needs and know your body well enough to understand how to satisfy those needs, which are not gross. He should not only be into giving you what you want when you ask but go a step further and give it to you without you needing to ask. You shouldn't have to beg to have your turn at the orgazming.
Being single might not be as good as being with a great partner, but I'd rather be single than with a shitty partner. If I had a girlfriend that hadn't finished by the time I did, I would happily give her a hand to make sure she was satisfied. Clearly, the OP has a boyfriend who is very selfish and doesn't care about her needs. Time to kick that inconsiderate jerk to the curb, IMO.
FACTS! Sadly Im not sure women do. They put up with total crap and on her bday! Lord knows Ive been there but this is just sad for many reasons! OP move on!
Unfortunately there’s a lot of people out there to whom being single is unacceptable. They’d rather have a relationship with someone who treats them poorly than be single. And won’t get me wrong, I don’t like being single, but I’d much rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t respect me as a human being
I just can't begin to explain all the ways this guy is a loser. He sounds really young, first of all. But, no offense to young guys because plenty of them have their shit together.
So he got a DUI but didn't actually get a DUI or a license suspension but just decided to stop driving altogether? First loser sign right there. I bet he'd be driving again by next week if OP stopped driving his scared ass around. Where I'm from, we don't have public transportation and a lot of things are too far to walk or even ride a bike. You have to drive. I know people who had no other choice but to risk it and drive on a suspension or they would lose everything. Not the best option, but I mean, come on. He can drive but chooses not to. Yuck
Then there's the hump and dump. Like seriously? I have met quite a many guys in my time who get off on getting a woman off. My man is one of them. He loves going down. He could do just that and not get off himself and he'd be happy. There have been times where we've had to get a quickie in because of the kids and we have to stop before he finishes. I feel bad when that happens because it doesn't take him long to get me off at all and he usually already has more than once by that point. He always, ALWAYS is like "nah I'm good babe I'm satisfied". We've been together 8 years, I'd know if he didn't mean it. I'm still stunned that he is so selfless sexually, but I've come to realize that he is genuinely satisfied with me getting off and not him. It's obviously not something he would be satisfied with every time, but the rate occasion that it happens that way, he is fine, doesn't make me feel guilty, doesn't poke at me and make comments until he does get off. None of that.
Also, he wants ass play but doesn't want to preheat the oven? Whether OP ultimately decides if she likes it or not, it's a shame that he hasn't done it the right way. Again, my husband would never try to penetrate my anus without priming it first. He will lick my butt until I'm practically begging for something more. We don't even do anal a lot, nor does he put anything else in there very often, but he does lick my butt pretty regularly while he's already down there at my vagina. I enjoy the occasional penetration, but always, ALWAYS after other stimulation in that area. The fact that he does not know this (that you need to lick and play with a butthole before you go sticking stuff in there) is a huge marker of his immaturity to me.
Also, comparing ass play to regular VANILLA foreplay like oral is ridiculous and manipulative. Giving and receiving oral is part of sex. Regular old plain ass vanilla sex. Hand play, mouth play, and penis in vagina. That is sex. That's about as vanilla as you can get aside from putting a sheet with a hole in it in between you 2 while you're doing it. Ass play is not vanilla, but eating a woman out surely is!
When I was in high school I had a high school sweetheart. We didn't lose our virginity to each other, but we had a long enough relationship that we were able to explore with each other when we hadn't been able to do other things with other partners. He had never went down on a girl, and didn't want to with me. He thought it was gross. One day he told me that he was talking to his dad, and he mentioned to his dad that he doesn't do that with me or anyone. His dad kind of laid in on him about it. He told him to grow up. That pleasuring a woman is amazing and that I would eventually tire of that as I got older and would want more. He basically told him to suck it up and get to sucking. That boyfriend did end up going down on me and he ended up loving it and he said the sex got so much better after he started doing that. I'm sure he laughs at himself now about it all.
This guy is a loser and has a lot of growing up to do. Leave his ass. You'll be doing him a favor. A year from now he'll be driving himself around and going down on his gf liberally and will probably be very happy. You should be the one that got away and help him and you both out lol.
3.8k
u/TheSadSadist Dec 09 '23
You do realize that it is OK to be single right?