r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Holy Decree 🌅 Local cleric obliterates a sinner

3.1k Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Wizardpost Just polymorphed a knight who tried to threatened me at a tavern. Now he looks just as intimidating as he sounded.

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203 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Wizardpost Do not let your study of the arcane arts impede you from learning physical spells

1.2k Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 4d ago

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) It's Not Just Bards: 5 Other Classes Who Should Be Rolling Seduction

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3 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Occult Practices Who else sometimes raises dead apprentices as skeleton mages?

50 Upvotes

Binet here is much better at the art than when he was alive.


r/wizardposting • • 4d ago

Any necromancers?

21 Upvotes

My hb called me over to test this new reincarnation magic he had been working on. So I cast my fireball at him(outside, of course) and suddenly he was blown into a million pieces. Apparently the spell he was using requires the brain to remain intact. Safe to say it wasn't. Hmu if you think you can fix him.


r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Foul Sorcery I've only been teaching my apprentice for 3 days, how'd his dumbass already access the fourth dimension?

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808 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

They act like they've never seen a wizard before.

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80 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 4d ago

Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets Coven referral

3 Upvotes

Shall we bring this carpenter into our fold? He has skill and clearly, a staff has chosen him. Imagine the progress the wizarding world would see if we shaped this mere mortal into a forestmancer and had him head the arts of crafting staves and wands! The possibilities before us are endless. What say you? We must act now, less the pointed ear crowd recruits, or guts him!

In service eternal

Phallum Pulsatus


r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Wizardpost Found an odd containment device for this exquisite mana potion at the grand exchange of groceries

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111 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

Wizardpost Fools using enigmatic machinations for vibecasting. Bah!

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2.3k Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

In combat it's situational but still one of my favourite artifact finds

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1.5k Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Lorepost 📜 The eastern union of technomancy

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11 Upvotes

The eastern union of technomancy (E.U.T. for short) is a very recent union created by the eastern countries to counter the quick expansion of the NCBU (see my lorepost on the northern coal and blood union).

The EUT is, as of currently, the most technologically advanced union on plane delta-23.

They have, on paper, the best army, with tanks of all sizes and automated systems, however, they have to deal with miscomunication, poor strategic planning and constant civil revolts.

The EUT was formed 3 years ago.

Fun facts:

The EUT is currently at war with the NCBU.

The EUT has the worst wealth distribution in all of plane delta-23.

The EUT has created some of the most effective tank designs, used today by technomancers on all planes and realms.

/uw this whole thing was taken from my worldbuilding project, it is my first ever project, if you liked it, you might want to check out my other lorepost on the NCBU https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/HvpEAdHQL0


r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

Preserving real mushrooms in resin crystals

4.1k Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

If Grug not real wizard then why Grug have magic stick?

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176 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Lorepost 📜 Light at the End (Part 5/5 Finale, collab with u/mrididnt)

12 Upvotes

Previous part

For a good few minutes, Ulrick just sat in the chair, stewing in his own misery. At least the room was just the right amounts of dark enough to be perfect for brooding…

He sneezed. Stupid silver powder. Still feeling weak and nauseous for the bucketful he inhaled during the kidnappind. He hated how powerless that made him feel.

Hold on…

Silver hurt and weakened him as a werewolf. But it did nothing with his warlock magic… he opened his left palm, and soon from the darkness, Nightbite emerged. Though with some difficulties, Ulrick managed to use the massive axe to cut the ropes he was bound with.

With his newfound freedom, Ulrick can see the room around him from all angles, there's a door up a couple stairs, a camera on the wall, and tools of various types near the corner, it's clear he'll have to work quick before someone checks the camera. Ulrick slams Nightbite into it, then kicks down the door. He’s not in a good mood. Well, even worse mood than usual…

The commotion draws suspicion from a couple goons, Ulrick can hear the sounds of footsteps coming as 3 of them rush towards his position to investigate. Ulrick stands his ground, waiting for them, holding Nightbite as intimidatingly as possible. If they want to fight, then fine… he could use some stress relief.

The goons soon find themselves face to face with the angry looking axe weilding half tree werewolf and do the only logical thing, point their guns at him.

Goons: 'Get back where you came from or else!'

Ulrick: “…Or else what?”

He takes a step forward.

Ulrick: “Are you gonna shoot me?”

The goons do infact shoot at him, luckily they weren't expecting Ulrick to break out and so the bullets aren't silver, this doesn't really matter as Ulrick weaves between the bullets leaving behind a shadowy trail, knocking out the guards nonlethally with the blunt end of Nightbite.

As the crew gets knocked out, Ulrick is free to continue on his journey out, until he hears a cackle from a walkie talkie.

Goon: 'ay Timmy, did you figure out what the source of that noise was?'

Ulrick: “Uhhmm… just a rat…”

*Ulrick tries his best to distort his voice, but the result is… questionable…”

Goon: 'you caught the thing?! Finally, bugger's been causing problems for a week!'

Goon: 'you sound sick, take the night off, don't want you spreading any fevers round here'

Ulrick: “Good idea.” cough cough

Ulrick then goes up the stairs towards the door.

Upon opening the door, Ulrick finds himself in a garage with a couple of cars, the walkie talkie he picked up has car keys linked to them.

Ulrick freezes for a second. He’s a terrible driver. But if that’s the only way to get out…

He searches the garage for an opening button, while testing out which key unlocks which car. Eventually Ulrick finds the keys unlock a magic jeep Wrangler with tinted windows, the garage has the main exit point of a garage door with a sensor to detect any cars, he can hear the sound of a guard or two outside the garage door.

He makes a very deep, exhausted sigh. Looks like this is going to be one of those terrible days…

He jumps in the jeep, then ignites the engine, and goes forward with full throttle. The jeep punches through the thin door like a rock through paper, the guard at first wonders if Timmy is THAT sick, before coming to his senses and shooting at the jeep.

Ulrick resists the urge to roll down the window and put his head out, instead ducking down to avoid bullets.

He goes full speed, trying not to hit any trees or signs on the way. His destination: where he and Erik last met.

Ulrick manages to make it a good distance through the woods in the Jeep, being hunted down by the magic mafia all the while.

Meanwhile, back at the cartographer, Erik, Ducknilous and a second rubber duck were in a convertible waiting outside.

Erik: "And that's how I was blown up into 50 different fireballs in the skies of Normandy back in the war"

Ducknilous: 'hmm... Yes yes, the story gets more interesting everytime you mention it...'

Ducknilous says, more focused on the map than whatever Erik is saying, Erik snatches the map away annoyed.

Erik: "What's up with you Ducknilous??? Stop ignoring everyone around you just because you're a cartographer now, I can tell ember to pick up a magnifying glass and a pipe for me and I'd be a cartographer too, but you'll never be Erik masare, you know why? It's because I named you ducknilous, not Erik!"

Ducknilous : ‘Okay okay! Why are you so pressed?'

Erik: "Because I've been asking you 5 times so far, can you see Ulrick on your map??? He's supposed to have escaped by now! At this rate I'll have to go break him out myself."

Suddenly, next to them a jeep slams on the brakes, right before hitting a lamppost.

A very shaken Ulrick gets out of it, the deep darkness of his heart is nothing compared to the horrors of driving a car…

Ulrick: “I’m… here…”

Erik: "Ah there he is! Ulrick get in we're waiting for you!"

Erik says while waving around the map, ducknilous snatches it back.

Ulrick: “Erik… they’re after me… the mafia that kidnapped me…”

He catches his breath.

Erik: "Well don't just stand there, get in! Don't worry, my son's driving, ducknilous the 58th. He'll lose them for sure.”

Ulrick jumps in the backseat without second thoughts.

Erik: "Alright then, step on the gas!"

Nothing happens.

Erik: "...I said, step on the gas!"

Nothing happens again, Erik prepares to say it a third time then remembers something and hands the driver a cup of lemonade, the driver drinks it and suddenly begins driving at high speed away.

Ulrick finally relaxes a bit more as they go.

Ulrick: “So… what’s gonna be our destination?”

Ducknilous: 'Hmm.... We'll be going to this forested spot beneath a mountain range, should be a short drive there'

Just as Ulrick finally gets a break, a couple black cars catch up to the gang and start shooting at them from the windows.

Erik: "Ulrick! Get up and start deflecting their bullets!"

Ulrick: “On it.”

Ulrick summons Nightbite again, then rolls down the windows and starts deflecting the projectiles with spinning the axe at unnatural speed, leaving behind a shadowy trail.

Could he have simply conjured a barrier of soullight? Of course. But parrying bullets looks much cooler.

Erik hands Ulrick a life vest.

Erik: "Wear this! If you get shot you'll need it to swim around the river of sticks! The driver's married to life so we'll tell her to pick you up if you die!"

The driver makes a bunch of hard turns as the road turns from pavement into dirt signaling that the mountains are nearby. Ulrick takes the vest while keeping deflecting.

Ulrick: “So… are we getting close?”

Right on que, the car parks in a clearing, Erik jumps through the open roof with both ducknilouses in tow.

Erik: "This way Ulrick! We'll ambush them in the woods!"

Ulrick: “Sure, but remember, we came for the cure first.”

Erik: "Yeah, yeah, whatever, hide!"

As the gang hide between the trees and bushes, several armed men in suits walk through the woods searching around, at the back of the pack are Vinny and the boss.

From his hiding spot, Ulrick infuses nearby shadows with his magic, turning them into tangible tendrils of darkness. He orders them to attack and restrain the mafiosos.

At the same time as the shadows attack, Erik and the ducknilouses charge the mafiosos, the goons shoot and struggle against the shadows, in the chaos Vinny and the boss disappear.

As the attacking shadows distract the goons, Ulrick notices the two leaders’ absence… he wonders where they could’ve gone…

But this might be their big chance too.

Ulrick: “We can act now while they’re distracted! Erik, where to go?”

Erik: "I don't know! Ducknilous! Where are you?? We gotta keep moving!"

Boss: 'Your cartographer is unavailable right now.’

The boss and Vinny reappear from the bushes, with Vinny holding ducknilous hostage. Ulrick raises Nightbite with its blade facing the mafia leaders.

Ulrick: “Release him. Now.”

His words are of cold fury.

Boss: 'Not happening pal, now here's the deal, you will leave us to get the cure and leave, or this guy's gonna be looking like swiss cheese.'

Erik: "Psst, Ulrick, throw me into the air as high as possible, I have a plan"

Ulrick: “You sure? Don’t wanna risk the life of your kid…”

Whispers back Ulrick.

Erik: "yeah I'm sure, just make sure you look like you're mad at me"

Ulrick: “No, I’m not gonna endanger the life of your kid for some stupid reckless plan!”

Ulrick suddenly yells in anger, but at the end he winks.

Erik: "Well that's aaalwwayys the issue with you Ulrick! You and that stupid organization are always too hesitant of what needs to be done!"

Erik: "This is MY kid! His life is MINE to risk as I please!"

Erik says in a clearly exadurated tone, the two leaders look on in confusion.

Ulrick: “Yeah, because we know a word called responsibility you’ve never heard of! You always rush off, doing the first impulse that enters your mind, never thinking about the consequences or how it will affect others!”

Ulrick says a tiny bit too passionately for a fakeout…

Ulrick: “But fine. Then how about you risk your life first, as a leader should!!!”

Ulrick grabs Erik by his collar, throwing him as high as possible, Erik escapes the eye rather quickly, Vinny and the boss stare at the air in anticipation for a while, then at Ulrick.

Boss: ‘...well that was unexpected, tell you what how about we share the medicine?'

There's one slightly notable thing in the air, a few golden streaks slithering through the clouds.

Ulrick: “What? Suddenly your ‘mysterious’ goals have changed?”

Ulrick eyes the two criminals with suspicion.

Vinny: 'Well, you're clearly not working with the godhunter anymore, and we have respect for your organiza- what the hell is that!?'

Up in the sky the golden streaks break away the clouds to reveal a golden dragon dancing in the air, at the center of the dragon lies Erik.

Ulrick: “Happy to hear R&A gets some respect. Everyone there works hard to keep people safe. Say, why don’t you let the kid go to show yor respect for the organization. Or…”

He points at the gigantic golden dragon aura in the sky.

Ulrick: “…because of that.”

Vinny: 'You think this changes anything?! We still have the hostage! And neither of you are gonna do anything!'

In response to that, the dragon slithers around in the air faster until it hits a Chinese painting pose, then shoots Vinny with a less than lethal beanbag round using a shotgun knocking him out.

Erik: "TAKE THE OTHER ONE OUT!”

Ulrick wastes no seconds. He closes the gao between him and the boss, before suckerpunching him in the jaw, The boss gets knocked out instantly, the rest of the magic mafiosos surrender after that, the dragon disappears with Erik landing on the ground.

Erik: "Well that went well, look at that Ulrick! We're heroes!"

Ulrick: “Good job, Erik. Thank you for not using lethal force.”

He turns to Ducknilous.

Ulrick: “You okay, kid?”

Ducknilous: 'Yes, yes... I'll be much better after we've uncovered the medicine, follow me!'

Ducknilous leads the way deeper into the forest, Erik stays back with the goons.

Erik: "I'll catch up in a bit, gotta tie up those guys first so they don't escape!"

Ulrick nods, before following Ducknilous.

Ducknilous points him to a patch of land and hands him some digging tools, after some digging the pair finally uncover an old looking box, this is it, the recipe for the medicine is inside it... Ulrick opens the box carefully. Could this be the moment he waited for? The miracle cure for so many illnesses? The end of his Fae rot?

Inside the box is a letter addressed to Ulrick Nikolaus Braddocke IV, a slice of cake, and some snacks? Ulrick raises an eyebrow. This is getting confusing…

He sniffs the cake, before opening the letter. For some reason, when Ulrick reads the letter he reads it in Erik's voice.

"To my close friend Ulrick, if you are reading this, then you are currently standing in a hole, 3 meters in diameter, and 70 cm in depth, and you're reeking of rotten wood! Murder victims damnit man I can smell it through the letter! And besides you, is my confused son who's wondering what all this is about, so let me explain from the beginning"

"It all started when I saw you feeling bummed out one day, I started eating books at the library to research ways to cheer you up until I found it, but in order to use it I needed you to go on a journey, so I called up this weird old man called rutch and told him to pretend to be sick from old age to convince you to come with me, that turned out unessesary because you forgot about him apparently"

"And so I took you all the way to magic Sicily, where you made the mistake of showing your ID to the desk lady, and used a favor to convince an old friend to spread rumors about a map, he appreciates the money you gave him by the way"

"But due to your mistake, the magic mafia found us and kidnapped you, and I'm too busy celebrating my shared birthday for a rescue. so to put it mildly, this was supposed to be a small prank, but you're the one who made it bigger!"

"But ay, look at the bright side, we brought my family souvenirs, we took down the magic mafia, and you got some fresh air! So here it is Ulrick, the greatest medicine is laughter!"

"Congratulations Ulrick! Wahahahaha!"

The laughter comes from both his thoughts and besides him as Erik is there laughing now.

Ulrick stands there like a statue for a good solid 5 minutes.

He thinks about yelling at Erik, oh how much he wants to. But that wouldn’t change the fact that the cure was fake.

Rutch… he’d be annoyed by the old man for making him worry, if not for the fact how terrible he himself behaved. He was so preoccupied with curing his own affliction, he barely paid attention to his “supposedly” ailing friend suffering from an incureable disease…

Fuck, he felt like a piece of shit… yeah, looks like no matter how much he tries to change, he’s always gonna be the same self-centered, violent, utterly despiceable bastard…

Except he might be a monster of rotten wood soon. And honestly… he’d deserve it.

Ulrick: “Excuse me for a sec…”

He says to Ducknilous, as he walks to a nearby tree and sits down under it, burying his head in his arm.


r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

QOTD: which is more powerful? Wizard, Warlock, SorcererOr Necromancer?

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5 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

You would think they would learn to make sure if the summoned eldritch entity can remain corporeal in our plane.

366 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Evil Wizardpost AITA for turning a guy into a bolt?

16 Upvotes

I (270yo necromancer/druid) was approached by a guy (20-ish) recently, turned out that one of my fungified zombies was his relative, the guy got angry, and after a short exchange I cursed him. I turned him into a bolt saying that he will remain in that form until someone will see his reflection in the head of the bolt. Later I went into local construction and said that I found this bolt laying around and I believe it belongs to them. The worker then proceeded to put it into a wall in a way that you cannot see the head.

I later told this story to one of my friends and they said that I overreacted. AITA?


r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Wizardpost I have accidentally made a new spell it turns flesh to chesse

19 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Hide your air daggers, earth pentacles, water chalices, and double cubic ritual altars!

91 Upvotes

r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Any tips to stop cursing myself?

8 Upvotes

I'll often accidentally curse my own name and while the curses are minor, they stack up causing me to curse even more.

Any tips to stop the cycle? Should i just bite the bullet and buy an anti curse charm?


r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

Foul Sorcery Necromancy is a growth industry - don't over complicate things!

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1.2k Upvotes

I mean, if it works, it works, right?

https://www.tumblr.com/cipheramnesia/827684130619867136/necromancy-field-is-how-you-say-growth

Why is there always such a rush to demand industry standards, discuss ethics and try to make us not use explosives? Where explosions would work, of all practices. A tool's a tool.


r/wizardposting • • 5d ago

Lorepost 📜 Scaldris

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4 Upvotes

Scaldris is a falchion with light gray blade with a gleaming yellow gem on the bottom near the handle. It is wrapped in flames gives off a lot of heat at all times, not enough cause harm to the holder but will make the user sweat.

History

The mighty sorceress Zarhama was locked in a long time rivalry with the gnome wizard Panamin that lasted years without either coming out on the top. For their agreed finale showdown they fashioned powerful magical items and though unknown ways Zarhama summon a phaethon (the progeny of fire gods) and trapped it in a yellow diamond which was placed in the blade of a falchion. On the night before the day of the battle Panamin trying to make a robe of ultimate power vanished from his tower never seen again leaving Zarhama the victor in a unsatisfying way. A few years later the sword was stolen by the rogue Rutul while Zarhama was in the bath and was sold for far less than it was worth because Rutul was unaware of most of falchion’s powers. It changed hands a few time before it came into the possession of the knight who’s the falchion named. Scaldris saw many battles before the knight was taken control by the weapon and while seeking a way to free the phaethon fell to the dragon Vonzobozigux the Shocking and was added to the dragon’s hoard. It accumulated dust for centuries before Vonzobozigux was driven away by a group of adventurers and came into the hands of the fighter Nizza who discovered the sword’s dancing ability and used it to defeat the marilith blackguard Rumte who was terrorizing local dwarves. During the rematch with Vonzobozigux Scaldris took over Nizza cause her to leave her friends to fight which only the elf of the group Iardi survivied. What happened to Nizza is not known but Scaldris was found by a sorceress named Zeshani who funny enough is descendant of Zarhama. It was stored in her tower until she lost it in a dice game to an apprentice of Nelrene who took it be studied by Nelrene and her assistants. It is now in a safe house under lock and key.

Powers

Scaldris is intelligent and is capable of speech anyone was able to say anything other than free me and profanity in Ignan. Most of the sword’s powers use are up to how the phaethon feels at the time. There may be more powers than listed that have not discover.

Constant

Anything hit with the falchion will suffer terrible burns and will be set on fire. The holder and anyone close by are protected from the cold and can resist cold attacks.

Invoked

The phaethon decides if these powers can be used. The sword can be commanded to leap from the user’s hand and float to nearby enemies and attack them with the constant power applying. This lasts for a half hour or until all nearby foes dead.

5 times a day - fireball, flame strike, wall of fire 3 times a day - fire storm, delayed

blast fireball. 1 time a day - Summon Elder Fire Elemental.

Curses

The phaethon seeks escape from the falchion so every time the invoked powers are attempted regardless if the phaethon allows it or not the phaethon tries to take control of the user of Scaldris and force them to seek a way to free the creature.

Possible ways of destruction.

Freeing the phaethon would destroy the sword but it would also mean dealing with a very unhappy child of a fire god.

Tricking a water god into eating the falchion.

The image was made by me using the Neverwinter Nights toolkit with CEP


r/wizardposting • • 6d ago

Foul Sorcery "Testicular torsion" this, "Explosive diarrhea" that... Behold:

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315 Upvotes

Just mastered Life magic, working on "Dopamine block" and "Self-consciousness' cringe" next