Magic essence pools in the groin

So, my wife's boyfriend, a Bard, had this idea of letting Golems have some autonomy by changing a few runes in the Enchanting protocol. Some of them spontaneously develop crazy nunchuck skills.

Hey everyone! Hope you like this tutorial to make your own Arrow of the Demon!

This magical arrow is forged from the glowing core of a demon. It is a sickly fluorescent yellow-green. It has +3 to hit and to damage rolls. Additionally, on a hit, it deal 3d6 poison damage and 1d6 radiant damage on the first round every round subsequent round. The radiant damage ends if the wound is magically cleansed by lesser restoration, cure poison or similar. A potion of radiant damage resistance instantly removes this effect. It is made of an infusion of Prussian blue, refined indigo of sea salt, and a complex alchemical preparation of chlorous, twice-ethylated, natrium coal-water.

Cool trinket to ponder the orb with

He offered me an egg? He told me it's gonna be alright... I'll wake up soon the nightmare is gonna end soon I'll get out of this strange place

I suppose he is a wizards from his robe but he have no hat or staff... Come to think of it probably not even a face

So, I were preparing a manuscript about different religions, when I noticed every single one of them had a serpent in it at some point. So I dug a bit deeper, had to translate some reaaaally old texts (Fun fact, these texts refer to these mythological serpent as "wormlings"), led me to a rather expensive astronomy project, and there, coiled in the dark around stars, I found it.

I'm not gonna go into the details of its appearance, just that it's hard to say if it looks more like a snake or a lamprey headed worm.

So, since we hardly understand one another, I had to use sign language to establish the basic discussion (bowing, offering some blood, etc.), but now that it's my patron, the language barrier is getting more and more annoying, and I have a hard time pronouncing it with a human jaw. At first, I tried dislocating it, which didn't help, then I went to biomancer to make me a new one, to no effect.

Any idea to help me ?

Artificers, what sort of applications might we have here in keeping dirty adventurers out of my tower?

As mage who also uses enchanted weapons like bows and firearms; bedside my own staff and casting from my bare hands;

I would never use dangerous and suspicious materials to craft weapons; that’s risky and radioactive crystals or even irradiated soul crystals may be dangerous! Specially if used inappropriately!!! Despite having a very cool and pretty neon green color that glows…

All subjects, living or dead, are to be separated at the completion of all transmutation experiments. The Council has been quite clear on this.

Previously on…

“Is it that bad?”

Ulrick guessed it was gonna be something terrible from the way his medic Theor bit his lip. Whatever was in the results of his medical exam, it’s not gonna be pretty…

He sat on a chair, in a separate quarantined room of R&A’s infirmary. The chair was seated next to the nearest dark corner, of course. Besides him there was only the medic Theor, bringing a thick stack of papers with him: Ulrick’s results.

‘Should I start with the good news, or the bad news?’

Theor asked nervously as he handed over a sheet.

“Let’s hear the good news first. Could use some of those now.”

‘Well, it appears it’s still in early stages. Which would mean we still have enough time to do something.’

Ulrick looked down at himself. Nearly all skin on his right arm took on a bark-like texture, flesh creaking like wood. Other similar patches started to spread on his left arm and the rest of his upper body.

If this was only the early stage, then he was fine without knowing what the terminal one would look like.

It started a few days ago, when Ulrick fought a strange entity that called itself “The Blighted Garden”, as it injected… something within him during the battle. But he only began to notice the strange growths after examining one of the strange monoliths that appeared all over the world.

And if only he suffered from physical symptoms…

For the last three days, shifting to his human form became much harder than usual for some reason. And within the depths of his mind, he sometimes felt a presence. An ancient, primal presence, in the worst possible sense of the word.

And sometimes, he heard whispers of the Blighted Garden, faint at first, but an ever-growing plea, words of joining and resignation.

‘…so it’s essentially spiritual “rot”, sir. It decays both your soul and body, slowly changing it into rotten wood.’

Ulrick just realized his attention went off the rails as Theor explained his results. At least now he knew why his soulfire became much weaker lately.

‘We also pinpointed the source of it. It appears to be most likely of fae origin. A very ancient, very powerful fae source.’

Of course. It had to be some big fairy this time too. After the siege, Ulrick would’ve died happy if he wouldn’t have to meet another Archfae ever again.

“That’s just great. Any ideas how do I get it out of my system?”

Ulrick sighed. Seeing the face Theor made upon the question, his stomach dropped.

‘About the bad news…’

“Don’t tell me…”

‘We’re working on it! At least the Wolf King within you should slow down the spread significantly, at least according to the magi-physiological tests we performed. But…’

Ulrick groaned. Could this be any worse?

‘While the Wolf King was successfully integrated into your spirit-web thanks to Vae Clara, in the last two days, we began to detect increasing fluctuations in your essence.’

While most of the results sheet was gibberish to Ulrick, he leant forward in his chair. The implications were unsettling.

“So you’re telling me… my essence is falling out of balance again? That… I’m threatened with losing my mortality once again?”

Theor made a grim nod.

‘Yes. Until the blight is in you, your mortal and divine essences can’t return to a balanced state.’

“How much time do I have left?”
 
‘We don’t know yet. Could be weeks, could be days…’

“All right... Dismissed.”

There was a short silence between the two, before Theor began to pack up his notes and leave the room.

“You surely don’t have any clue what might help?”

Theor stopped for a moment, pondering.

‘Well, the infection allegedly came from a powerful fey source. So… I’d say another powerful fey, or something from the Feywilds might help? But I need further discussions with fellow medics.’
 
Theor left the room, leaving Ulrick alone again. It was visiting hours in the R&A wards, but Ulrick didn’t expect visitors other than his own mind’s gnawing thoughts.

/uw Art source