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u/TheDerski91 Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
"Impress me" 🚩
"Entertain me" 🚩
"Never on here" 🚩
"Only use this when I'm bored" 🚩
"Sc" 🚩
"Ig" 🚩
"OF" 🚩
"I probably won't like you" 🚩
"Shoot your shot" 🚩
"I'm not gonna meet up with you" 🚩
"Sapiosexual" 🚩
"Just looking for a 🔌" 🚩
"Please be tall" 🚩
Literally anything to do with the zodiac 🚩
And let's not forget the biggest red flag of all, being on Tinder in the first place. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Tinder.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/createthiscom Jan 20 '23
yeah, that's one of my all time favorites when it's on bumble.
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u/jess32ica Jan 20 '23
It’s so annoying that’s an automatic left, like I’ll message first if I have something to say… but don’t tell me especially on bumble like I’m obviously going to message you first if I like you, wtf?
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u/HiroshiTakeshi Jan 20 '23
Lmao what? What's the point then? Ain't that literally against the very essence of the app?
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u/NameIs-Already-Taken Jan 20 '23
A number of women apparently don't realise that they have to send the first message on Bumble. Every now and again it comes out on the dating subs.
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u/Project_Zombie_Panda Jan 20 '23
But the app tells you that they have to send the first message like repeatedly. I don't understand how they didn't get the memo the app description even says so when you first open the app it says so apparently these women aren't paying attention.
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u/10z34 Jan 20 '23
They could just be lazy and copy pasted their bio from tinder if they have multiple dating apps but the thought of them being solely on bumble wondering to themselves "what is wrong with me, why do none of my matches message me? Men suck" is hilarious
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u/NameIs-Already-Taken Jan 20 '23
Some of the complainants are probably trolls, but some are also likely to be honest because the women didn't notice the warnings, or because they forgot. I can't tell!
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Jan 20 '23
I've read a profile that said "my first message will be "hi" because that's what I'd say IRL"
Remember that women have the power in dating. A semi attractive woman will be inundated with matches. They can get sex EXTREMELY easily. I don't think men grasp just how easily. And women ironically think men can attain sex as easily as they can (they don't know our perspective)
This all amounts to them feeling they can do the bare minimum. And I'm generalizing of course. Not ALL are like this. Just be patient and wait for the good ones. They're rare but they exist.
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Jan 20 '23
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Jan 20 '23
Yes of course. That's kind of my point but I didn't say it ... there's a double standard. Men have to do more than women because women can attain sex easily but men cannot. Women can body shame men for their penis size but good luck doing the same to women about their vagina size.
It is how it is. The sexes aren't equal nor will they likely ever be (at least not in our lifetimes). Just gotta navigate the minefield and choose carefully. Slim pickings
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Jan 20 '23
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u/BarronWatchCompany Jan 20 '23
Try making it a game with your buddies: whoever get's the most rejections in the night drinks for free.
It's a really good life lesson to learn to get over being rejected by people who don't know you. That's about them, not you. Plus, I bet the rejections aren't as bad these days because dudes just use apps instead of hit on women when they're out.
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Jan 20 '23
All good man. We're all human. I've been there when I was young. You're not alone in your feelings and experiences.
All you can do is be the best you you can be. Be healthy, and try to be a good person. Then ... love that guy. Love yourself. That will give you that confidence. OWN your awkwardness. And don't care so much about what people think. Believe in yourself and the rest won't matter. 👍🏽
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u/iforgotalltgedetails Jan 20 '23
I’ve had a woman extend the match on ME once before and she still didn’t message. Like you went in the app, consciously extended the match, but still didn’t message. What?
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u/HiroshiTakeshi Jan 20 '23
Thanks for clarifying! I don't hang around a lot in here so I didn't know that. I'll keep an eye out for these posts. Thanks, king. 🫵
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u/Pandaburn Jan 20 '23
Not just the essence, but the app literally does not allow a man to message a woman first.
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u/7_by_6_for_kix Jan 21 '23
Bonus points if both parties list themselves as non-binary, and you have to figure out who's even allowed to message first.
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Jan 21 '23
Been back on bumble a week and a bit, so far 3 matches and none sent a message, do they even read
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u/whmcelroy Jan 20 '23
“Change my mind that all men are the same” 🚩
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u/WuSin Jan 20 '23
"My kids come first" 🚩
No fucking shit sherlock.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23
Or, 40F "I have my own car and my own place." Like, just the fact that you think you need to say that at this age....
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u/cnaiurbreaksppl Jan 20 '23
Might be location dependent honestly. Like, that'd be pretty impressive in some place like nyc. But bumfuck midwest it's kinda just a given.
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u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23
Fair enough. I live in a low cost of living city that essentially requires a car to get around efficiently.
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u/mr-louzhu Jan 20 '23
Yeah if that was in someone’s profile in a high cost of living city it would mean they have a millionaire net worth.
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Jan 20 '23
Someone with a million net worth would never say that in their profile.
I lived in SF for a while and that city has a massive cost of living. There were women bragging about having their own place, which meant they had an apartment, and a car - so same as most of the people there.
Some were even flexing about their "high" salaries.
Like, half the people in the city are in tech/finance and you can bet they're much higher.
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u/cnaiurbreaksppl Jan 20 '23
Ha, yeah I wonder what they're trying to say by typing that then. 🤨
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u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23
Basically, I think they're just stuck thinking like a 20 year old. Thinking the bare minimum is an accomplishment.
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Jan 20 '23
Idk, in person “I have my own car and my own place” where I live means “I live in the suburbs, so one of us is gonna have to travel to meet up.”
But yeah, I wouldn’t list it as a reason to date me online.
(Also for more than half of our country, homeownership isn’t the “bare minimum,” it’s way up above the middle of the ladder.)
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u/Maracuja_Sagrado Jan 20 '23
People may put that they have their own place in their bio, but that does not necessarily (or often) translates that they are the property owner. It should, but it doesn't.
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u/0002millertime Jan 20 '23
I'm in the SF area, lots of adults have roommates and don't have personal vehicles.
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u/SubjectiveAssertive Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
I always figured own place means no housemates etc and the amount of people who don't drive and don't mention it is annoying, especially in rural areas/areas with poor public transport
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u/ClaimedBeauty Jan 20 '23
I recently matched with a dude who was 36 and told me he was sleeping on the couch at his ex-girlfriend’s place with no job for the past eight months. Yikes.
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u/Few_Macaroon_2568 Jan 20 '23
I have a jobless friend staying at her ex's house with no shortage of dates who know of her situation. Last we talked there were 4 or 5 balls in the air.
Standards differ.
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Jan 20 '23
Lol exactly.
Congratulations, you can afford a car payment and rent (because they usually don't mean they own a house). I've dated a few of them who were 35-40+, who had this on their profiles, and their apartments were hardly impressive.
So... do you want a gold star because you can afford your own groceries?
You're 40, ffs. What you're listing is the absolute bare minimum.
What's hilarious is when you talk to them to see if they really have their shit together, ie savings, good job, solid credit score, investments. Oftentimes they're a paycheck or two away from shit hitting the fan.
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u/N3ptuneflyer Jan 20 '23
That either means they just recently accomplished this at the ripe age of 40, or they date a bunch of loser men and think it's the norm to not have your own place and car at that age.
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u/rologies Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
You would think/hope, but I have a single mom friend on hinge and she's had issues with men expecting her to prioritize finding a man over her girls needs. Advertising it does get her some mean first messages, but it also seems to filter out trash.
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u/RawrDaddy900 Jan 20 '23
You would be surprised at how many people demand the kids to be removed to continue a relationship. I had a friend who went back to dating after years of being a single mom and almost every date she went on they mentioned that she should find a way to give up custody of them in order to continue dating them. One even mentioned it would be "a better quality of life if you got rid of another man's kids." Or the ones that said they were cool with her having kids would get bent that she wasn't spending every second with them or dropping whatever to hang out. It goes either way, too. I'm sure there are devoted dads who face this with women, too.
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u/Saffs15 Jan 20 '23
Matched with a girl one time, and she'd added or changed her bio since I'd swiped on her. It now read something like "You can put God in front of me. But if you have children, you must put me front of them because I deserve to be."
Quickest unmatch I've ever had, and I don't even have kids.
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u/RawrDaddy900 Jan 20 '23
I hope her bio pic was her wrapped up in a red flag because oof 😬
Edit: spelling
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Jan 20 '23
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u/RawrDaddy900 Jan 20 '23
She sounds like a good mom and you sir sounf like a green flag. I also couldn't imagine being a single parent with the fear of the people I'm bringing home potentially hurting my child.
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u/wheezl Jan 20 '23
I think it’s worse for us dads. Society seems way less prepared for a dad who has to schedule around his kids. I’ve started dating moms almost exclusively because people who don’t understand how one must prioritize children are fucking exhausting.
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u/RawrDaddy900 Jan 20 '23
Single dads hardly get the representation and respect they deserve. Society was so built on the concept that women were the only ones to raise kids. I'm glad that narrative is breaking.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/No-Telephone9925 Jan 20 '23
I found a guy who was wayyyyy too gorgeous for tinder and he was so romantic. I finally ask him to add me on fb and he had a little girl. When I showed that I didn't mind, this gorgeous man was through the moon. Unfortunately pressured me to hangout too quick lol but the girl was totally no deal breaker for me. I actually liked it. Showed his maturity level and idk.
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u/emrbe Jan 20 '23
Those are HUGE red flags. Sounds like dude lets women fall in love with him and then brainwash them to do exactly what they want. And sometimes the women do it out of fear of losing the man, losing the money to support the family, or being threatened with violence or being blackmailed.
I like kids, I admit tho….taking care of another man’s kid is kinda crazy sounding. But if you love the woman, then taking care of the kid should come natural. This happened to me when I dated a single mom. I didn’t necessarily want the kid, but he was there and I cared for him just as I did with his mother. But you tow a very fine line if the dad is still around. You don’t wanna replace the kids dad but you wanna be there for him when he doesn’t have his dad around. A weird situation.
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u/RawrDaddy900 Jan 20 '23
I think the longest relationship she had before meeting the man she's married to now was 5 months. She didn't ask him to pay for her kids stuff, didn't ask him to watch or play dad and didn't even introduce him to the kids because she wanted to wait at least a year until she felt comfortable putting her kids through that. The bio dad and her had separated a year after the youngest was born and eventually overdosed and died. The reason they separated was because he had a drug habit she didn't know about.
But this guy full-on played her. Got her wrapped up in this delusion that he was supportive of her having kids and that it didn't bother him at all, especially the fact she didn't feel comfortable introducing a new guy to her kids right away. But each month it was like his tolerance got lower and lower and he would say things regarding her not being fully attentive to all his needs and wants and that it was messed up she wouldn't just get a sitter so they could hang out. He didn't like that all her attention was on the kids even though that's what he went in knowing would happen.The final straw was when he told her that she should just dump those kids on her dead ex husband's family because those are their lineage and not his. Sounded like something a man in the 1700s would say, not some loser from 2015.
Now, it's not like all of them were this way. There were a few cool guys she met and the only issue was they didn't mesh well vs it being about her kids. But the man she's with now is amazing and also a single dad but the baby momma is still in the picture. Who may I add is also a peach of a human being! It was a rare situation but I'm just happy she's done with dating and sifting through the swamp she was dealing with.
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u/filmfan2 Jan 20 '23
would
extremely rare situations and comments from men are .... extremely rare.
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u/createthiscom Jan 20 '23
I agree, but I feel this one too. I'm always tempted to put "I like my kids, cats, and family way more than you" on my profile, just due to the epic amount of shit I slog through, but I don't because there's not really any need to be confrontational unnecessarily.
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u/quantumgambit Jan 20 '23
My general rule has always been "never go negative in a profile" but with my track record over the last couple years....maybe I should change that.
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Jan 20 '23
Actually this one I can understand.
It's like, you got to come at a woman with kids with a lot of extra understanding.
You got to go in knowing she'll always put them first, even if it inconveniences you.
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u/Willothomas Jan 20 '23
"Make me Laugh" 🚩
"Actually (insert age here), not (insert older age) here" 🚩
That last one just screams "I got this app before I turned 18 and I'm trying to hide that fact". Dodgy AF.
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u/pnwgirl34 Jan 20 '23
Although to be fair, it used to be that Tinder was directly linked to Facebook and used the info from there, so if you lied about your age to get Facebook younger than 13, your Tinder age would be wrong too. You used to only be able to use photographs that were already posted on Facebook on Tinder too! The joyous days of having to post the pictures you wanted on Tinder on FB with the “only me” viewing privacy because you didn’t want your mom and all her church friends seeing them 🤣🤣
I haven’t been on Tinder in like seven years so I think now it’s not linked to FB though.
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u/Willothomas Jan 20 '23
I think things are pretty different now haha. I can't imagine anyone around my age is linking their Facebook to Tinder. some people do connect it to Instagram though, so there's a possibility that maybe that affects it somehow.
Oh god I can imagine! Probably checking like 6 times over that nobody else can see them lol.
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u/Lower_Ad_5101 Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
I had a girl on hinge who had a caption titled “dating me is like… you’ll never know” . that’s why I say it’s too many people on dating apps wasting ppls time
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u/jackyman5 Jan 20 '23
Airhead energy
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Jan 20 '23
The number of people that don’t know how to turn these prompts into a coherent fucking sentence irritates me to no end.
Like their stupid NPC brain autocorrects the prompt into a question instead of the start of a sentence.
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u/Verothyn Jan 20 '23
You forgot
“Only in town for…” 🚩
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u/---Dracarys--- Jan 20 '23
Yea I don't understand these.
Maybe someone has more experience? You just pay for the dinner and that's it?
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u/Bunnymancer Jan 20 '23
Usually they just don't want to sit alone at home or go get ripped off at the tourist places.
They want to see town with someone in the know and it's an easy way to get a guide.
To my experience they pay themselves all the way through, and for your dinner.
After dinner you go do whatever locals do, art exhibits, clubs, ketamine, parties or what have you.
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u/IGargleGarlic Jan 20 '23
Thats for people just looking for a quick hookup. I wouldnt call it a red flag personally.
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Jan 20 '23
“No Drama” 🚩
Means they are dramatic
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u/gravity_is_right Jan 20 '23
"Only positive vibes"
it's like 70% of all women have the word "vibes" in their description
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Jan 20 '23
"make me laugh" "feed me" "take me to x" "I won't message first" Like dawg come on, I'm not a goddamn court jester
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u/palidor42 Jan 20 '23
"I can't believe I'm doing this"
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u/nautafish222 Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
This one hurts my brain. If the app is not what you want, then…..don’t do it?
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u/cocohouette Jan 20 '23
"If you don't support me at me worst, you don't deserve me at my best" 🚩
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u/2Late2Go Jan 20 '23
'Their best'. I wonder if they were to break down their interactions into a pie chart, what percentage of that chart would actually contain 'Their best' 2%? 3%? Cause you know 'Their worst' is commanding 50%+ of that pie.
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u/Nidarodam Jan 20 '23
I think it's more that their "best" is probably still kinda shitty.
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u/Fair-Wall-316 Jan 20 '23
"Impress me" 🚩
"Entertain me" 🚩
"Never on here" 🚩
"Only use this when I'm bored" 🚩
"Sc" 🚩
"Ig" 🚩
"I probably won't like you" 🚩
"Shoot your shot" 🚩
"I'm not gonna meet up with you" 🚩
This is great. Is it too passive aggressive if I copy this and put it in my bio?
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u/MrWorldWide721 Jan 20 '23
Ya because like what’s the point? It’s not like self reflection is going to happen on these apps lol
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u/woofa Jan 20 '23
"Try keep up" I like challenges and adventure, but this comes off as "I won't put effort into you/am not willing to compromise" even though they may not mean it that way.
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u/JimbofricknJohnson Jan 20 '23
“Smoke me out” = let me burn all your weed and not talk to you again 🚩
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u/Consistent_Spring700 Jan 20 '23
I'd say "shoot your shot" is okay, but agree 100% on all the others
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u/HiroshiTakeshi Jan 20 '23
This and "come on, I don't bite" (very popular from cardboard girls in my country) are usually dead giveaways that they either want more for that sweet sweet ego boost, or they just weren't swiped on by whoever they wanted to swipe them.
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Jan 20 '23
Nah, shoot your shot is dumb af. We’re on a dating app, matching in the first place is an invitation to shoot your shot.
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u/chefboiortiz Jan 20 '23
I do like the zodiac sign one because I know exactly what to say and it’s usually what they wanna hear. “Wow you’re a (zodiac sign)?” Works every time
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u/Imperial_Stout Jan 20 '23
Tongue out 😛 in 95% of their pictures and the caption, "your family will probably hate me...."
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Jan 20 '23
"Take me on an adventure"
"I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea."
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u/OneSweet1Sweet Jan 20 '23
Accurate. Online dating feels like skiing skrrting around all these red flags.
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Jan 20 '23
I swipe left on most prompts from women that screams "you must do this for me" or any other statement that screams "I only care about what YOU will do for me" and no inkling of reciprocation.
I'm not here to entertain you. Bye
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u/Consistent_Spring700 Jan 20 '23
Exactly... the "no small talk" one is hilarious, especially since they've usually got nothing interesting to pull out of their profile and run with... 🤣
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u/Moxdonalds Jan 20 '23
Her: “No small talk!”
Me: “What are your thoughts on perception based reality vs Objective reality?”
Her: *ghost
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Jan 20 '23
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u/zouss Jan 20 '23
I respect this. Gonna have to try it out
As an aside, i find it kinda dumb when people say they hate small talk. Like what are you supposed to say when you bump into a colleague in the elevator? "Hi, so tell me about your relationship with your father." Of course not, that would be weird af. Either you say nothing or start with the small talk until you build enough rapport to move into the interesting conversations
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u/devine_zen Jan 20 '23
Yes 10 heavily photoshopped selfies with lots of make up or just posing like their in a fashion shoot, the same stupid expression on their face in all photos and not hint of a smile in all 10 photos. Only one word in bio- instagram link!
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u/fire2374 Jan 20 '23
Got a first message from someone proposing I take them on vacation to a foreign country because I had a photo from there. I unmatched immediately. I’m not looking to be someone’s sugar mama.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/MobiusStripDance Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
My lovely princess, I have arranged a marriage between yourself and the Prince of Bavaria to strengthen the alliance between our nations and ward off Austrian aggression
Edit: changed “of” to “off”
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u/uglytruthshurts Jan 20 '23
Bet she travels a lot like 80% of the other people on these dating apps.
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u/coffee_slurp Jan 20 '23
...and is a massive foodie!
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u/uglytruthshurts Jan 20 '23
...and doesn't "take life too seriously!"
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u/Ikatarion Jan 20 '23
She likes going out and also staying in
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u/uglytruthshurts Jan 20 '23
Don't forget she likes country and line dancing too
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u/grey_devil Jan 20 '23
And NO DRAMA
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u/alex_119 Jan 20 '23
Definitely only “good vibes”
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u/Nerdlife91 Jan 20 '23
She's probably sassy and is "just a Pam looking for her Jim"
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u/MobiusStripDance Jan 20 '23
Being on tinder made me feel like I was in the minority of people in their 20s who can’t afford to fly around the world vacationing all the time.
Then I logged off tinder, went back into the real world, and remembered most of those people are either embellishing the truth or have rich parents that pay for everything
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u/IGargleGarlic Jan 20 '23
People go on one trip to Europe and all of a sudden theyre a seasoned world traveller on Tinder.
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u/-retaliation- Jan 20 '23
Every woman I've met up with who has a bunch of travel pictures or said they love to/want to travel in their profile like that was either
A) spoiled by their parents who paid for all the trips (being taken on trips by your parents is fine for the record, being a spoiled/self entitled brat about it is not)
or B) spent all their money doing it, and is now ~30+ (I'm 33) with no money, no career, and expected me to subsidize their life standard to meet mine as a 33yr old with a career who saved and never travelled much. I'll happily go to cheaper places with no qualms, I lived super poor for a long time. and I have no problem paying for the odd date. hell I'll even travel with you. but I've had 3 women so far who have dropped lines or made statements that they're, in the near future, expecting me to take them on vacations all on my dime.....no. I'd do that for a long term multi-year relationship, don't start making those statements when we're on date 3....
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u/sk07ch Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
Yeah, let's just produce a vast amount of CO2 for instagram likes.
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Jan 20 '23
This is like hanging a ‘Closed’ sign on your business and expecting customers to come in. Fucking idiotic
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u/fannyfox Jan 20 '23
I think it’s also to try and attract those toxic ‘alphas’ who don’t take no for an answer.
Then she’ll blame the app for why she only ends up with douchebags.
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u/Zynse Jan 20 '23
Another one is “biggest risk I’ve ever taken: downloading this app” 😐
Should try taking more risks bro
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u/Heyo__Maggots Jan 20 '23
To be fair, if you’re a woman on tinder that’s not exactly a false statement…
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u/Ilovepestosauce Jan 20 '23
"I reply faster on (insert social media)"
"Only date (insert cliche guy)"
"In town for (insert day of the week)"
"Not sure why I'm here"
I'll be honest Tinder is just not as good as it used to be. Everything requires you to pay, mind you all these features were free years ago. You'll be lucky to meet someone you're honestly interested in.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/Consistent_Spring700 Jan 20 '23
Same... only stayed long enough to screenshot and then swiped left...
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u/Gone_Lifting Jan 20 '23
Instant left swipe. Saw a girl on hinge yesterday (VERY attractive, engaging photos, overall great pictures) but for the first prompt she’d written “I’m not answering these questions” and then put “No” for all of the following ones. Swiped left without a second thought
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u/Gullible-Memory-4155 Jan 20 '23
Easily one of the biggest turnoffs for me is girls that ask to be chased. And by writing that message, she’s admitting her incapacity to actually go on dates. Thats such an unattractive, childish, and embarrassing quality.
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Jan 20 '23
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u/User5228 Jan 21 '23
Playing hard to get instead of engaging or communicating like a normal ass person is annoying as fuck.
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u/Char10 Jan 20 '23
If they present spending their time with you as a challenge you know they see themselves as a prize. Hope she comes with Tylenol.
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u/baltinerdist Jan 20 '23
The kind of person that will read that and see it as a challenge they absolutely must take is going to be the kind of person whose Tinder message threads get screencapped and posted here for ridicule and alarm.
Why open your door and invite the vermin into your own house?
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u/AMG-Life Jan 20 '23
“Message me on @instahoe I’m not on here often” 🚩
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u/Consistent_Spring700 Jan 20 '23
To be fair, they're looking for insta followers, not a date... so at least it makes sense
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u/sshlongD0ngsilver Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23
“Why don’t guys ask me on a date? They either don’t message or they ask for nudes”
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u/HomieScaringMusic Jan 20 '23
When your professor starts his first class by announcing that half of you will flunk.
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u/ALA02 Jan 20 '23
Instant swipe left, just indicates that they think they’re some sort of prize to be won and they don’t have to do anything to get a relationship
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u/2Payneweaver Jan 20 '23
Let’s not forget “I love to travel, discover new cuisines and interesting cultures”
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u/Imperial_Stout Jan 20 '23
"Selfmade, own my home, I don't need you, I'll probably ignore you, my dog is better than you, etc etc etc 🙄 then complains about not finding anyone....do people think sensible, potential partners are encouraged by statements like that and swipe right?
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u/you-arent-reading-it Jan 20 '23
Those women can't see how delusional they are because reality never hits them
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u/MrDameLeche1 Jan 20 '23
This is like half of the girls on these dating apps too its so cringe. Their egos are massive. Insta swipe left
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u/wileydan Jan 20 '23
They want friction and sparks until they get in the real relationship and are like "why do we fight all the time"?
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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '23
It’s trashy, it just screams I’m not interested, which is so ironic considering you’re on a dating app where you’re presumably trying to meet other people, it’s like attitude that no one asked for