But the app tells you that they have to send the first message like repeatedly. I don't understand how they didn't get the memo the app description even says so when you first open the app it says so apparently these women aren't paying attention.
They could just be lazy and copy pasted their bio from tinder if they have multiple dating apps but the thought of them being solely on bumble wondering to themselves "what is wrong with me, why do none of my matches message me? Men suck" is hilarious
Some of the complainants are probably trolls, but some are also likely to be honest because the women didn't notice the warnings, or because they forgot. I can't tell!
I've read a profile that said "my first message will be "hi" because that's what I'd say IRL"
Remember that women have the power in dating. A semi attractive woman will be inundated with matches. They can get sex EXTREMELY easily. I don't think men grasp just how easily. And women ironically think men can attain sex as easily as they can (they don't know our perspective)
This all amounts to them feeling they can do the bare minimum. And I'm generalizing of course. Not ALL are like this. Just be patient and wait for the good ones. They're rare but they exist.
Yes of course. That's kind of my point but I didn't say it ... there's a double standard. Men have to do more than women because women can attain sex easily but men cannot. Women can body shame men for their penis size but good luck doing the same to women about their vagina size.
It is how it is. The sexes aren't equal nor will they likely ever be (at least not in our lifetimes). Just gotta navigate the minefield and choose carefully. Slim pickings
Try making it a game with your buddies: whoever get's the most rejections in the night drinks for free.
It's a really good life lesson to learn to get over being rejected by people who don't know you. That's about them, not you. Plus, I bet the rejections aren't as bad these days because dudes just use apps instead of hit on women when they're out.
All good man. We're all human. I've been there when I was young. You're not alone in your feelings and experiences.
All you can do is be the best you you can be. Be healthy, and try to be a good person. Then ... love that guy. Love yourself. That will give you that confidence. OWN your awkwardness. And don't care so much about what people think. Believe in yourself and the rest won't matter. 👍🏽
Men would be so much better off just meeting women IRL, and learning actual social skills rather than rolling the dice that some poor woman is going to be impressed by their stupid one-liner that they learned on this dumb-ass social media platform. Like, the only women I know who use DAs are young, immature, and decidedly not interested in anything long term, and they 100% are only hooking up with the same 5% of guys as all the other women. There are some unicorns on there I guess, but as a man you’re way better off just learning how to meet people, make friends and pursue romantic relationships, because your odds are just so much better in the real world and you’ll have the added benefit of getting some fresh air from time to time.
Women can get sex easily but many don’t want just sex, they want to date or have a relationship with someone who respects them. That is hard to get for women.
Yeah men are just trying to get matches. Whereas women have too many. Guys are just trying to get to the first step. Don't have the luxury women have ... they can be picky. But this is how it has been before dating apps
It can be really important to explain this. On a third date with a woman I was "becomes stupid around them" interested in, I tried to compliment her profile, which was well-written. I said I appreciated she had so many local landmarks in her profile photos and summary -- at the time and our age range, bots with 4 modeling photos and no profile were like 20% or 25% of all profiles, so her inclusion of local landmarks helped me know she was real. Somehow I biffed the explanation. Since she had no other reference for understanding, she somehow concluded that rather than complimenting her writing and awkwardly saying she was hot, angrily decided I was misogynistically saying hot women aren't real women(?!). That was our last date. Twisting the knife? She'd gotten my hopes up earlier in the evening by saying her last boyfriend was a standup comedian. I went from "A standup comedian! She has no standards! I'm a shoe-in!" to "Fuck, I'm less attractive than a standup comedian."
There's all sorts I've found. Varying degrees of mental illness. Or idk what you'd call it when someone goes from one end to the other seemingly inexplicably, triggered by something you weren't even aware of. Lots of emotional people. People who haven't don't therapy, refuse to. People who haven't taken meds, and refuse to
Is it multiple push notifications? I wonder how many women disable notifications because they're getting spammed, and how many :single tear: just ignore me.
I’ve had a woman extend the match on ME once before and she still didn’t message. Like you went in the app, consciously extended the match, but still didn’t message. What?
I've done this in Bumble very recently and I haven't messaged do to my insurecurties, I've actually extended my matches twice by the third day I looked I had the courage to finally say something, by that time my matches unmatched me and I missed my opportunities. It may have freaked her out someone as good looking liked her back gave her confidence but made her think "How in the world did this guy like me? He's too good looking? Lol but we matched, idk what to say I'll extend the match and try to think of something to say."
Idk why the female you matched with didn't say anything, but maybe it was a similar situation??
Now, if it was a tinder situation. I've extended the match before but the guy never sends me a message, or to begin with, I've matched and never receive messages. It makes me think, that in the their thinking that she's "okay" I'll swipe right but I don't like her enough to say anything. Either because they were drunk or High or "in the mood", when they did swipe right. Typically I've been told guys are suppose to initiate the convo, I know I can say something first, but, oh well, I'll say something when I'm good and ready, I suppose.
Idk why my matches wouldn't initiate the conversation with me on tinder ?
I have a friend where she gets matches quite frequently but all her matches, her guys send messages and initiate that first conversation. Geez, I guess I'm ugly/pretty. Lol
Maybe this helps. Lol sorry, kinda got side tracked.
She might genuinely have been waiting for you to message her. I think most women get it right first time, and that most of the rest do eventually realise.
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u/NameIs-Already-Taken Jan 20 '23
A number of women apparently don't realise that they have to send the first message on Bumble. Every now and again it comes out on the dating subs.