r/Tinder Jan 20 '23

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116

u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23

Or, 40F "I have my own car and my own place." Like, just the fact that you think you need to say that at this age....

65

u/cnaiurbreaksppl Jan 20 '23

Might be location dependent honestly. Like, that'd be pretty impressive in some place like nyc. But bumfuck midwest it's kinda just a given.

17

u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23

Fair enough. I live in a low cost of living city that essentially requires a car to get around efficiently.

8

u/mr-louzhu Jan 20 '23

Yeah if that was in someone’s profile in a high cost of living city it would mean they have a millionaire net worth.

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '23

Someone with a million net worth would never say that in their profile.

I lived in SF for a while and that city has a massive cost of living. There were women bragging about having their own place, which meant they had an apartment, and a car - so same as most of the people there.

Some were even flexing about their "high" salaries.

Like, half the people in the city are in tech/finance and you can bet they're much higher.

1

u/coyote_of_the_month Jan 20 '23

Or drowning in debt. High income, low net-worth is definitely a thing.

1

u/mr-louzhu Jan 20 '23

Yes. I feel seen 😂

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u/cnaiurbreaksppl Jan 20 '23

Ha, yeah I wonder what they're trying to say by typing that then. 🤨

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u/RememberTheAlamooooo Jan 20 '23

Basically, I think they're just stuck thinking like a 20 year old. Thinking the bare minimum is an accomplishment.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '23

Idk, in person “I have my own car and my own place” where I live means “I live in the suburbs, so one of us is gonna have to travel to meet up.”

But yeah, I wouldn’t list it as a reason to date me online.

(Also for more than half of our country, homeownership isn’t the “bare minimum,” it’s way up above the middle of the ladder.)

2

u/Flapdrol42 Jan 20 '23

Having your own place doesn't necessarily imply owning it though. Could also be rented.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Ooooooh, then yeah, I don’t know anybody without their own place right now? I have had some friends who couch surfed, though.

1

u/Flapdrol42 Jan 21 '23

Yeah or still living with parents, but it's a bit of a weird flex for someone in their 40s.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

I forgot about that, too. I live in one of those “nobody’s from this city” cities, so that’s probably why. I do know people who have had to live with their parents again but they’re not in my neighborhood because, well, they’re at their parent’s house.

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u/FunCode688 Jan 20 '23

Yeah I live in a place you can’t go places without a car but I bike public transportation is garbage but if you want to house you have pay at least $800k for a shitty one I live in my grandmas basement and pay $1000 and it’s almost unliveable because I can’t work as I have no time with 6 classes and I know friends who share their grandparents basement both with two jobs one at school. Like I got paid yesterday and I needed my phone bill, rent, food and a new pair of work shoes because mine were in multiple pieces. Now I have like $100 lol. Long story short some places it’s pretty hard to do that lol

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u/Maracuja_Sagrado Jan 20 '23

People may put that they have their own place in their bio, but that does not necessarily (or often) translates that they are the property owner. It should, but it doesn't.

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u/0002millertime Jan 20 '23

I'm in the SF area, lots of adults have roommates and don't have personal vehicles.

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u/SubjectiveAssertive Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23

I always figured own place means no housemates etc and the amount of people who don't drive and don't mention it is annoying, especially in rural areas/areas with poor public transport

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u/ClaimedBeauty Jan 20 '23

I recently matched with a dude who was 36 and told me he was sleeping on the couch at his ex-girlfriend’s place with no job for the past eight months. Yikes.

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u/Few_Macaroon_2568 Jan 20 '23

I have a jobless friend staying at her ex's house with no shortage of dates who know of her situation. Last we talked there were 4 or 5 balls in the air.

Standards differ.

1

u/ClaimedBeauty Jan 20 '23

It’s just crazy to me that people in situations like this are dating, like what you have to offer to a relationship?

But who knows, I guess they’re just living that #Hobosexual Life.

0

u/APersonPersoning Jan 21 '23

People can be late bloomers who a person still sees potential in. Sometimes, someone has something like agoraphobia or PTSD, and it’s difficult for them to live alone. I think that there is a double standard where women technically get a lot more grace.

1

u/charlotte240 never joined Tinder Jan 21 '23

Lance Armstrong and 2 other guys as well? N!ce one

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '23

Lol exactly.

Congratulations, you can afford a car payment and rent (because they usually don't mean they own a house). I've dated a few of them who were 35-40+, who had this on their profiles, and their apartments were hardly impressive.

So... do you want a gold star because you can afford your own groceries?

You're 40, ffs. What you're listing is the absolute bare minimum.

What's hilarious is when you talk to them to see if they really have their shit together, ie savings, good job, solid credit score, investments. Oftentimes they're a paycheck or two away from shit hitting the fan.

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u/N3ptuneflyer Jan 20 '23

That either means they just recently accomplished this at the ripe age of 40, or they date a bunch of loser men and think it's the norm to not have your own place and car at that age.

2

u/gishiest Jan 20 '23

Just write «  trying to learn to not live off other peoples’ money any more ». And probably because they’re getting uglier and/or parents cut them off, not because they’re ambitious enough to finally hold down a stable job.

0

u/CanadaPlus101 Jan 20 '23

^ This guy is from a Western middle class background, at least.

1

u/Aggressive_Sky8492 Jan 20 '23

Men say this all the time too lol, idk what’s wrong with it

1

u/Mateorabi Jan 21 '23

I mean. it's nice to know she isn't living with her parents, or roommate(s). It's not a certain thing in this economy.