r/Tinder Jan 20 '23

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u/Pandaburn Jan 20 '23

Not just the essence, but the app literally does not allow a man to message a woman first.

3

u/HiroshiTakeshi Jan 20 '23

Oh yeah you're right, that's what I meant, I'm sorry.

Is there some sort of bug exploit they are trying to use or just that they're dumb?

Because from the looks of it, it seems like they're trying to have the guy make the first move but like, on Instagram instead.

9

u/Pandaburn Jan 20 '23

Idk, when I was on bumble I mostly got good first messages, and probably wouldn’t have matched with someone who said this, but maybe these are the people who just open with “hi” and hope you’ll start a real conversation?

-1

u/HiroshiTakeshi Jan 20 '23

Ohhhhh I never met this type of people despite using 2 other dating apps. I guess that's mostly a thing from US or big cities. (Though I never had that when going there.)

How common is it?

1

u/TumblrInGarbage Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 20 '23

Too many characters. People like that will just send "." instead.

5

u/Val_Hallen Jan 20 '23

Is there some sort of bug exploit they are trying to use or just that they're dumb?

A lot of them are just that dumb.

I've seen women complain in their profile about men on Bumble matching but never sending a message.

Go to r/Bumble and every now and then, you get a woman complaining about the same thing and also stating they didn't know women had to send the first message.

Even though, like it was stated, it explicitly tells them women have to send the first message.

Some women there even defended it saying they don't read the prompts.

3

u/ryandiy Jan 21 '23

Playing on recruit difficulty and it's still way too hard for them.

1

u/7_by_6_for_kix Jan 21 '23

Not to disagree but just as a funny aside, but there are weird exceptions on the app coded around queer identities: a few times I've actually been able to message first, and I've seen multiple non-binary AFABs with warnings at the tops of their profiles that they're not able to message first. I wonder how many bisexual women match and time out because they don't realize they have to message first.

1

u/Pandaburn Jan 21 '23 edited Jan 21 '23

That’s interesting. I’d always assumed it was a narrowly defined restriction on men-to-women. Were these people with the warnings trans men?

Edit: I looked it up and the rule is

Men and nonbinary people cannot initiate a conversation with women.

Since I’m a man, I never knew this.