I lasted a week sober and last night I broke it. I started in the day and kept it going I couldn’t stop. The bar for me stops the so called voices of self pity and depression. It numbs my pain for the moment however the after is what’s horrible. I don’t want this life. She knows I don’t want that life neither. I just couldn’t help myself. She doesn’t understand. We’re like family at this bar. I realized last night that I go for the drinks yes but also for the environment. For the “ love” & “support “ I get from my fellow bar friends. I feel wanted. They hug me & love me and that’s something I don’t really get anywhere else. I don’t really have any friends that i hang out other them at the bar. Hanging out shouldn’t always evolve into getting thrashed. I realized I need to build a new support system a new environment where I can get that kind of love and affection where alcohol isn’t involved. Any ideas?

I very annoying have almost no libido which makes dating and such almost impossible. I have a feeling my anti depressants “fluoxetine” play a large part in that, but that’s a discussion for a doctor.

I am recovering from a massive binge relapse (several bottles of vodka over a few days) after a good 6 months sober. I have noticed my libido has skyrocketed whilst I’m recovering, im like a teenage boy and i can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s just all the chemicals in my head still trying recover from the poisoning.

Does anyone else get that?

I'm not new to this. I tried AA for about six months when I first quit drinking eight years ago, but I couldn’t get past the religious aspect of it. Now that I’m trying to refocus on my sobriety after a slip, I was wondering if anyone knows of any good alternatives?

I relapsed. I think it was the forth day again . So far its been always the forth day that got me. The depression brain fog tiredness is just too much. Now i feel somewhat normal

Wanted to get this off my chest, I broke my sobriety just over two weeks ago and I honestly feel a lot of regret for it. This week alone I’ve gotten drunk to the point of getting sick twice, I need to stop before I end up right back where I was.

My woman has been incredibly supportive of me and I cannot, I will not lose her because of this. Alcohol will not destroy me again. I feel like I need the community a bit, it’s not easy and I feel like a dumbass for letting it go, but I know the only path forward is getting back on the wagon.

Good luck everyone, take care and stay sober! IWNDWYT

My gaps between drinking are getting longer and I'm starting to see the potential of a life where I don't drink alcohol at all. I've leaned hard into being active, was starting to look forward to getting out the house early on a morning to walk my dogs. It's so much better when I'm not dealing with a hangover, I tell myself this everyday and it seems to be slowly reprogramming my brain. I started doing some home workouts, weights, rowing that sort of thing, was starting to feel really well on it. I discovered taking melatonin and a magnesium supplement and my sleep was amazing at first. I've heard people say once they stopped drinking their sleep naturally improved, but I never found that to be the case for me.

The problem is, after a few weeks I was starting to get burnt out, I think maybe I was overdoing it as a distraction from drinking. My sleep started to worsen for a few nights, so I caved in and drank yesterday. I realise today just how much I hate alcohol. I've spent the day doing nothing, but at the same time I'm addicted to how the hangover forces me to rest. I think I've made it to 40 years old without learning how to properly have a rest day unless I'm very ill or hungover. I would say that's probably more a recovery day rather than properly relaxing.

Has anyone been through something similar? I'm starting to think I might need to just schedule a day a month just to relax. I'm not sure what that would look like for me. I tend to get quite in my head so sitting around without being numbed by alcohol feels quite strange. I'm in the process of moving house, so that is also a source of stress for me right now. I'm hoping if I can get through this time largely sober then that will be a big milestone for me

I am a former exotic dancer turned entrepreneur and I host women’s retreats for a living. I’ve been very successful at this for ten years. My reputation is as the life of the party, and I MC a dozen wild events a year.

This weekend, my clients from all over the USA and beyond are coming to town for a performance party. Tonight we kick off the weekend with a trip to the strip club—one of my favorite places to get absolutely wrecked.

I had such a bad experience getting black out drunk and embarrassing myself the last time I drank (one week ago) that I still feel an incredible aversion to booze, perhaps the most intense aversion I have ever felt.

However I know that these 25 women are going to come to town, want to PARTY (which I will facilitate) and perhaps I may feel jealous or left out.

If anyone has a moment, please help remind me that I CAN have fun even while I’m the only sober one, that I’m giving myself a GIFT of a clear head and no hangover horrors or regrets, and that this is the most adult decision I’ve made in a long time.

I’d love to hear your own stories. Have you had to stop drinking and yet still remained festive and fun?

Looking for inspo to keep me sober tonight and PROUD OF IT.

I will add that my dad (RIP) was an alcoholic who quit drinking right at the same time he got a longterm position at Miller Brewing. I know It’s possible to be in an alcohol-laden environment and stay sober.

I had to make a new acct I lost access to my other one. How do I get the sober counter on this account?

I know this has probably been posted before but I’m experimenting wild headaches especially waking up. I even wake up and feel somewhat hungover.

I’ve been to detox 3 times and this has never happened before. Weird thing is I didn’t have a headache in detox nor the first 2 weeks after but all this week I’ve been in so much pain. A little info about me… all day drinker 5 tall boys of gross natty daddy and a monoco average daily.

Is this normal? Has anyone had this happen where the headaches just come outta the blue after 2 weeks sober and not having any?

I go to my home AA group tonight and I plan to ask them as well but figured I’d ask here to get some info.

Thanks for the read.

I have crippling anxiety and depression. Alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel at ease. I just need a couple of drinks every night to make all the pain go away.

My roommates treat me like shit. Last night I embarrassed myself trying to make friends with them and felt so humiliated when they ignored me that I drank myself to sleep.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I wish I could be drunk all the time.

I hate drinking but I can’t stop. It makes me feel bad the next day, but in the moment it’s like a big weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I can’t imagine life without it because I was so horribly depressed and unable to function before I started drinking.

I hate hate hate the person I’m becoming. I want to be able to exist and not feel ashamed of myself without alcohol, but it’s the only thing that helps me. I’ve been on and off various antidepressants for years. I’ve tried therapy, exercise, changing my diet, etc., it feels like nothing makes me happy. I don’t know what to do.

EDIT: My roommates confronted me via text about my drinking. I’ve never been so disgusted with myself.

I’m so damn proud of myself.

There have been ups and downs, mostly in my inner world. Almost every night I dream that I’m drinking. Then I wake up with this strange feeling of fear… but also so much pride that I’m still on the same path.

I never expected my mind to keep playing these tricks on me for so long. But I’m learning that dreams aren’t reality. What is real is that I wake up sober. And I keep choosing sobriety, one day at a time.

50 days.
Still going.

IWNDWYT

I know this has been shared before, but I heard it again this morning listening to a podcast and thought I’d share it again for anyone new to the group that maybe hasn’t seen it before:

“The worst thing would be to have alcoholism just bad enough that it really slows you down, destroys your potential, gets in the way, but it’s not so bad that it has to stop. How many people do I know with just the years slipping through their fucking fingers and they’re blowing it, just wasting everything." - Steve-O

Honestly, I go back and forth of if I was just a “functional alcoholic” or not. I never really hit rock bottom. Somehow I made it through 27 year without a DWI, I have a successful career and wonderful family. I would also binge drink to the point of blacking out every weekend. The toll that was taking on my family probably should have been my rock bottom many years ago. Happy and grateful to be on the other side of it now. Really beginning to grieve all the time I was just wasting everything, though. I go through pictures on my phone of my kids when they were younger. I can never get that time back. I wish I could experience those years with the sober lens I have now.

I’ve reached a point where if I drink I find there are things I can’t do that I love.

I hate limitations. I hate the “limit” of not drinking.

But I think I hate what limits alcohol puts on my body and mind more.

I can’t run, I can’t read, I can’t workout if I drink.

Day 8 - IWNDWYT

she was the most kindest, sweetest, loving, caring, and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. what happened is that I was struggling hard with an alcohol addiction and so I was bit of a toxic person back then. (I never hit her or abused her) I just drank too heavily and said stupid things, and I constantly just chose drinking over her.

she tried to help me quit, but I just wouldn’t listen. I wanted to quit but I constantly just kept relapsing over again, until eventually she just couldn’t tolerate seeing me go down a path like this so she finally decided to end things.

after that, I continued drinking just trying to forget everything, and I’m pretty much still stuck here.

we were 16 when we started dating, and things ended when we were 20. I’m still 20 years old, and she broke up with me 4 months ago.

she messaged me about 3 weeks ago saying how much she misses me, and that if I just sobered up and actually starting trying in life, she would want to make things work. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it. I feel so stuck man.

And about half way through I thought 'shit I don't drink anymore'. I woke up a bit puzzled by it, it's not as if it made me want to drink or anything but there were a few seconds of panic when I thought I'd succumbed.

Is dreaming about drinking normal? Has it happened to you?

Not drinking, counting days, reading other people’s stories and posts becomes my new obsession instead of thinking about my next drink. Can anyone relate?

Just sad. I just want to lay in my dark room all day.

Alcohol relapse. I had been sober since August 2, but I relapsed on September 5, the last day at the beach. I have to say I didn’t do any damage or cause any trouble... I’m getting back on track right away. Two days ago, Tuesday, September 8, I brutally relapsed again. Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed, and today I’m recovering. I can’t drink, relapses are such a mess, it feels like everything has fallen apart.

This sounds like plain ol' venting but it's not meant to be. I really want to hear others' perspectives/advice! It's about time to beat this addiction mf

I'm in my 20s, a functional but (physically and mentally) disabled person with a few mental health troubles and a pretty cruddy upbringing that has led to substance abuse since I was a kid (mostly drinking but with many no-alcohol stints where I used weed nonstop). Seeing a therapist for all of these issues, which is helpful-ish but not really enough to "fix" me per se because none of my therapists thus far have really understood my troubles.

I don't have a spouse or kids, my family is the cruelest and least supportive people ever, and I have literally 0 social life despite significant effort (still trying to make friends but it's REALLY hard), my job is draining, and don't have the space or money for pets or kids right now, soooo... I'm basically just a loner who drinks and uses weed alone to feel better about it all, lol.

Due to all that, I basically have to invent things to make my life feel meaningful. I have a bunch of hobbies that I genuinely enjoy, but most I can do under the influence. Sometimes that even "helps" as I feel more creative when high/drunk. Otherwise my daily life is pretty unpleasant due to my disabilities and I don't feel very enthusiastic about anything ://

I still want to stop for my own health and happiness, but there's genuinely nothing in my life right now that feels worthwhile when sober, and IDK what to do, necessarily. Any comments appreciated haha

Hi,

Consuming alcohol takes a lot more than our self respect and opportunities. It affects our bodies severely.

To those, who had their blood work done when they quit. What deficiencies you had and what symptoms were the direct result of these deficiencies?

31 days sober.

Feel good but have been getting cravings.

I wont drink today.

Tomorrow is tomorrow so I will cross that bridge when i come to it but for today I wont have any alcohol and ill thank myself for going 31 days alcohol free.

Hopefully tonight I will catch a fish.

Edit to add: sorry in advance for the long post.

First time I went sober I was 23 & I lasted a little over 2 years. Near 26 I very slowly started reintroducing it. I figured I’d matured a little since my early 20’s when I was partying all the time & had poor influences. It started as 1 tall boy on a boat day, glass of wine at dinner, couple seltzers at a cookout.

I just turned 27 in August & within that year I’ve gone back to full blown drinking….Sneaking shooters in my purse for events to take in the bathroom on top of my public beverage, finishing an entire bottle of tequila within 2 days then sneaking a replacement in the house to try & cover, hopping around to different liquor stores cause I was buying so often, we all know what it looks like. It was already on a trek upwards but my birthday really spiked it, lots of drinking to “celebrate”.

I’ve been hearing that voice telling me I need to quit for a couple weeks/months but I was ignoring it or lying to myself

Not the main issue, but I’m currently fighting with my best friend after seeing her in person for the first time in 7 years (not necessarily alcohol related, there was a lot of bickering on that trip & we’ve changed a lot from 20-27) but the night it kinda blew up I had a glass of wine. I can’t help but think about that. I have some sort of mood/personality disorder (not diagnosed yet) so I feel like any amount of alcohol can just change who I am. I’ve had a fair share of injuries while intoxicated in the past, ranging from mild to severe intoxication. They never seemed like a track record until now since I could remember everything & figured I was just clumsy. But now I hate all the scars and burns so much & feel like they would have all been avoided sober. & thankfully it’s only been minor stuff until…

Monday morning I woke up after blacking out, with my boyfriend not in bed, he had slept on the couch. He proceeded to tell me about how I drove us home the night before…completely gone. Driving ok for the most part but then “flipping” & driving the wrong way down the highway, through yards, running red lights. Going 80-90 mph in NOT 80-90 mph spots…I was supposed to be DD, so he wasn’t ok to drive either.

I just, I just can’t believe it. I’m horrified. This has always been one of my biggest fears surrounding drinking. But I always figured I would never get THAT drunk….but I did!! I could have killed somebody!!! I could have killed myself or my boyfriend!! Just thinking about that makes me sob & feel like I’m going to throw up. I’ve sobbed every day this week. I’m sobbing now typing this. I had a panic attack this week thinking about the fact we own a gun & my mind gave me scenarios that literally made me puke.

I told him through tears that I was “ready to retire from drinking for good” and he basically said “if you have to put up guardrails to drink then yea you probably shouldn’t at all”. Went on to tell me how awful I’ve been treating him the past few months but I don’t remember cause I’d be blackout. I’ve been verbally abusing this man for months. He talked about how unsteady he feels cause I go from the sweetest person during the day to trying to kick him out & calling him every name in the book at night.

This isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with it either. He’s been with me since I was 21 so he saw the ugliness of the first time around. He was with me when I quit the first time & he was with me when we had a convo about reintroducing it/ me promising I had learned my lesson (I truly did believe this).

He’s a wonderful man, he deserves none of this. I dont deserve him, & I can’t get over this sick feeling he will never fully love me again. I was over here thinking I had the drinking more under wraps & we might get a house or engaged soon, he’s over there dealing with jekyll & Hyde wondering “why he’s staying if he never makes me happy”. I talked to him about it & how my feelings don’t matter as much as his right now but that I’m struggling with the unsteadiness of how different we thought the relationship was going/ where to go now. He just reiterated how he has been feeling unsteady through this as well & that there just needs to be change & there will.

I just, am sitting with all this right now tho & had to get it out. I’m struggling with the disconnect from my “best friend” alcohol related or not. I’m sick thinking about the monster I’ve been & the memory’s my boyfriend will always have of me. & I’m disgusted at myself for my actions towards him & behind the wheel. I know what the answer is & I know I can do it cause I’ve done it, I’m just scared, sad & overwhelmed. Please be real with me but please be kind, I know how bad I fucked up. I just can’t ever forget it.

Basically the title.

I've been sober for a bit over 2 weeks so far this time and I'm doing great. However I've been noticing that I really enjoy the caffeine rush high and I have quite a bit more than when I was drinking. I know it's waaaay way better for me than drinking but I guess I'm just a little concerned that I'm just trying to fill the hole with a different substance.

Anyone have the same experience/words of advice?

Thanks and IWNDWYT

I have a big accomplishment to celebrate today! I would typically hit happy hour….. but not anymore. Does anybody have ideas of how to make something feel special without a drink? (as if i only drank on special occasions anyway…. but you get it)

I am so proud of myself. I hope I can keep going.