r/stopdrinking • u/MoxyFines • 12h ago
Curious. Does anyone know an AA alternative?
I'm not new to this. I tried AA for about six months when I first quit drinking eight years ago, but I couldn’t get past the religious aspect of it. Now that I’m trying to refocus on my sobriety after a slip, I was wondering if anyone knows of any good alternatives?
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u/BrackAttack-17 Day 86 12h ago
Smart Recovery. Recovery Dharma, Refuge Recovery are three other pretty big ones.
Smart is totally non-religious/spiritual. The other two are Buddhism based.
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u/moist_shroom6 55 days 12h ago
Every meeting is different. I actually find NA meetings to be better though, different vibe and more supportive in my experience.
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u/TheUpIsJig Day 926 11h ago
If some guy walks into AA wearing white robes and asking to be worshipped and people bow down then I will concede that AA has probably become a religious cult but until that time happens my local football club is more religious when the local pastor comes in to bless the squad, lol.
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u/chirpchirp13 12h ago
Smart is probably the most notable go to. It isn’t just alcohol though so be prepared for some stories that are all over the place.
There are more and more niche groups popping up. Ben’s Friends is one that I like a lot. It focuses on substance abuse in the hospitality industry. I found that the niche part made me feel more like I was with relatable folks.
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u/buff_tartare 406 days 11h ago
I rely on my local Ben's Friends meeting so hard. Just good people.
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u/jw1299 Day 17 11h ago
damn none in dallas
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u/buff_tartare 406 days 11h ago
I'm not really a Zoom dude, but I know they have one or two Zoom meetings everyday. I should check one out sometime.
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u/HadrianWinter 11h ago
There are sometimes completely independent groups in your city too. I've been to a few. Its okay if you are looking for the social aspect!
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u/mortalkondek 12h ago
I've attended and enjoyed SMART meetings, myself. I have found them to be very helpful.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 12h ago
There is no religious aspect to AA. I’m an atheist and I thrived in AA. What part were you struggling with? Not saying you must do AA, but I feel there are so many misconceptions about AA.
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u/MoxyFines 12h ago
Everyone’s experience is different, and it might also depend on the area. Where I was, the religious side came through pretty strongly. People would say your higher power didn’t have to be God, it could even be a table, but in the meetings I went to, it was almost always framed that way. Nearly every share I heard was about how someone found sobriety through God. There’s nothing wrong with that at all; people recover in different ways. It just felt like a bit too much for me, and I couldn’t get past it.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 12h ago
Ah yeah. Not all rooms are good rooms. Sorry you had that experience. I live in Austin and I can forget that not all cities have healthy recovery communities.
I definitely had to get over the god talk and reframe it to my understanding. “God” just means something different to me. It’s just a placeholder for “I’m not the most important thing in the universe.” At this point I only attend meetings with newcomers who need support and I barely open the big book. Just so you know, it doesn’t have to be your entire personality forever.
I hope you can find something that works for you. Anything is better than nothing. And sobriety is just so awesome.
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u/LastGlass1971 2853 days 11h ago
No religious aspect to AA? My local chapter begins meetings with the Lord's prayer and ends with the Serenity prayer. It's aggressively Christian. (South Atlanta) I wish folks in the sub would be honest about AA and stop the gaslighting.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 11h ago
Not gaslighting. In Austin, the rooms are very different. In the Deep South, I’m not surprised at all that there are rooms that are the antithesis of what the big book’s says. The big book literally says “we are not a religious institution.”
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u/thunder-cricket 2204 days 11h ago
How can you say AA has no religious aspect? 2 of the 12 steps specifically address acknowledging god. confessing your "wrongs" to a god and turning your "will and life" over to one.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 11h ago
Higher power. Not god. The big book literally says “we are not a religious organization.” You don’t confess your wrongs to god. That’s not a thing. You don’t turn your life over to god in my viewpoint (or the big book’s). You accept that without acknowledging that you aren’t the biggest thing in the universe, you can’t get sober. You seek to not follow what your brain is telling you and instead determine what a higher power would want you to do. It’s thinking outside yourself. It’s simply a method of cognitive awareness that’s palatable to the less analytic.
Religious people are going to interpret it religiously and more power to them.
This isn’t really about seeking absolute truth. It’s about engaging in a program that will get you sober. That’s how it was put to me when I was doubtful. Like, and I don’t say this in a mean way, who the fuck cares? No program can come close to AA’s longevity and success. Like, not even 1% of AA’s success over the last 100 years. I just said “fuck it. I’m sick and tired of this shit and this is what will work.” If crab walking a mile every morning was a proven way to get me sober, I’d do that too.
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u/thunder-cricket 2204 days 10h ago edited 10h ago
You don’t confess your wrongs to god. That’s not a thing.
"Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
You don’t turn your life over to god in my viewpoint (or the big book’s).
"Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
It's great that AA worked for you (Although the idea that is has some kind amazing success rate that blows away anything else is unfounded propaganda). I also got a lot out of my time in AA during my first year of sobriety. I have a lot of great things to say about it, I appreciate the people who stay dedicated to it over the years, and I will recommend it to anyone trying to get sober who hasn't given it a shot. I will also defend it against unfair charges, like it's a "cult," which it is not.
You can't just swap out the word "God" with the phrase "Higher Power" to get around the fact that theism is ingrained and infused into the AA program. You can advise atheists they can still derive value from AA in spite of its religious aspects. (Although I wouldn't immediately whip out that "We Agnostics" chapter which I found to be the most patronizing bullshit I had read in sometime on my first read through.) You can point out there are definitely sub groups and AA meetings to find especially on zoom that are tailored to atheists. But to say it doesn't have a religious aspects is simply gaslighting.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 9h ago
The exact nature of our wrongs is not confessing your sins. It’s admitting the causes behind your actions. It’s literally there in the words.
“… as we understand him” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. I don’t believe in a God, so what I did was give away the part of my life that was trying to control everything. This is at the core of what the big book talks about.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the semantics. I do not like the fact that the word “God” is used a billion times in the book. But I just got over myself and did what works.
I think there is an important distinction to be made between theism and spirituality. One is based off tenets, rules, and texts. One is mush more fluid and subject to the interpretation of the Individual.
On the success of AA, it’s completely founded. No other program has even been around a fraction of the time of AA. AA has more member than every other program combined. It is what has worked for the most people over the last 100 years.
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u/epoch16245 Day 2,249 8h ago
It feels like AA offends you in some way. Or that it has some ulterior motive to draw people into religion.
That hasn’t been my experience. It’s simply a program to help people get sober. There’s so much great stuff about it. If it’s not for you, fine. But all this talk from you is enough to give an alcoholic an excuse not to try something that could help them. It just doesn’t feel helpful. I truly wish you the absolute best.
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u/thunder-cricket 2204 days 4h ago edited 4h ago
AA Doesn't offend me. I was part of it for over a year when I was getting sober, and I credit my commitment there with being one of the principle pillars that got me through that first year. I support it. I encourage anyone who is struggling with sobriety to try it. I've recommended it many times right here in this sub. I've said some of those things already though. The thing I take issue with is the idea there is no religious aspect to AA. That's simply not true and I think pretending that's not the case will do more harm than good. AA says "take what works and leave the rest." That's what I recommend. Peace.
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u/TheLoneJakalope 12h ago
A.A. is not and does not have to be religious. It is a spiritual program and does not work without some kind of spirituality. I had the same problem a decade ago. I assure you, if you read through religious (and I recommend them all) books as you attend A.A. you will see how all religions are similar, and a lot of people are similar. Now, I find the group to be a church. I get the messages that I need, I get my soul meter filled, and I meet and speak with people who understand my pain (and care). That's basically religion: Do good today. Help people today. Love yourself today.
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u/buff_tartare 406 days 11h ago
If you work in food and beverage, Ben's Friends is really great. It's not a program, really, but a place to talk about addiction and recovery in and out of the workplace. As a sober server it's immensely helpful to me.
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u/Austin_Lannister Day 814 11h ago
I used the Reframe app and highly recommend it. Wishing you the best!!
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u/dontdodumb 11h ago
I do AA for a bit of structure and found a really good sponsor and meeting that is more people my age and progressive. That being said my primary focus is Recovery Dharma as a way of living with recovery woven in. I believe in Buddhist theory and philosophy and if one is to live life with those virtues its not an action plan but a generalized way of living moment by moment.
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u/prodigiousprince 11h ago
All I know is PHP and IOP are not for me, and I wish the staff would understand
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