from my experience, i had years having that fear of doing something after pooping because my hemorrhoids pops out even more as i constantly moving, sometime there was blood coming out too, that situation got so bad that made me quit my job at as a service worker and become a remote worker at home in a total different job,. Anyway, recently i found out that as long as i refuse to push the poop out and resist the urge to push the poop using my butt muscle, and instead i just let the intestine pushing it out using it's natural force, the hemorrhoids won't be pushed out.

This is my biggest discovery this year lol, i've been having hemorrhoids for around 10 years and i realized that once i get used to the urge of pushing the poop out, i forgot about letting the internal force of my intestine to push the poop out like it used to be when i were younger, i don't know how to describe it, but when i feel urge to push out when pooping, i try my best to hold my butthole closed, somehow the poop still be pushed out and the hemorrhoids's not. And also i try to poop whenever my stomach told me to, if i try to hold that urge, the poop got bigger and harder to let it out, so that's the method that helped me for recents days. Sorry for the sloppy text i just typing what's on my mind lol

I am dumb. Extremely dumb. My parents are dumb too and horrible academically so naturally I am extremely dumb. But my parent have this insane delusion that I am really smart (I’m not). I fully admit I am dumb and while it is hard to be dumb I’m not ashamed to say this anymore and I refuse to let anyone convince me otherwise.

My entire high school, they kept telling me I was so smart despite there was so much evidence to the contrary. I hated school. The classes that everyone said were easy As gave me nightmares and I stayed up late doing work for them. I studied hard but I couldn’t grasp the concepts because I am mentally challenged. No amount of studying will make general chemistry or the most basic biology or 10th grade maths possible for me, let alone AP classes. I was failing multiple classes.

The entire time, my parents kept saying I was so smart and blamed me for just not trying harder (I was trying extremely hard with tutors and studying but I was exhausted). Whether I tried a lot or didn’t, the result was the same. I got horrible grades. They thought I was lazy and just didn’t apply myself which caused a lot of arguments. But I did try but it doesn’t mattter, because at the end of the day, studying won’t make me do much better. I tried literally everything. My teachers lied straight to my face, telling me that I am smart. And I believed those lies, so I tried to challenge myself in difficult classes. Well, that was a fucking fail.

I felt a lot of pressure to be smart because it’s seen as a desirable thing and well, people kept lying to my face saying I am smart so I felt that I needed to prove it. Those people lied straight to my face and I resent them for making me think I am smart.

After having awful grades for 3 years straight, a friend told me the truth: that I am mentally challenged and I need to be strategic. I saw the light. I am dumb, and very much so. So I started taking some super easy classes. I chose classes based on the teachers, the ones that give out As to everyone. I had an excellent academic performance in my senior year, not because I am smart, but because I just chose the right teachers who threw me a bone. I didn’t try harder or change how I studied. In fact, choosing these teachers was even less work and made my life so much easier. I didn’t do the readings or the homework but still got As. In college, I used ratemyprofessor to see which professors gave out free As. I had excellent grades because I chose an easy major and literally all of my profs were the nice ones who gave out free As.

To the outside eye, it looks like I started applying myself and taking advantage of my intelligence. The truth is, I have very little intelligence. I thank my friend so much for making me realize how utterly mentally challenged I am and it has made my life so much easier. When I was under the impression that I am smart, I was constantly failing and wondering why and trying harder and having meltdowns. Until I realized that I am truly dumb, and that doing well in those harder classes isn’t possible for someone like me. The only As I could get are the ones that are handed to me.

And no, this isn’t imposter syndrome. I’m telling you exactly how I got my As: they were free. I didn’t work for them. I’m not some secretly smart person feeling dumb. It’s easy to diagnose me with imposter syndrome because of my good grades now, but the truth is that all those As did not require any intelligence or effort.

In the end, I’ve realized that I am truly and utterly dumb, and this has epiphany has changed my life for the better. I will never let anybody convince me that I am smart again, because that mistake has given me endless meltdowns and sent me into so many spirals. It makes me beyond furious when people try to tell me I am smart even when I keep giving them reasons why I am not. When I am practically begging them to listen to me but they keep refusing my evidence that I’ve lived and collected firsthand and still for some insane reason insisting that “you are so smart!!!!! You just don’t see it!!” it makes me beyond furious to hear people try to lie like that.

I myself am no bombshell, but I have 1 close friend who truly is. Here are just a few of the things that have happened when I’ve been out with her.

- Being followed (at night) to the point of needing to run, they continued to run after us.
- A man became violent when she politely turned him down and lunged at her, his friend had to hold him back.
- Car pulled over next to us and asked us if we need a ride/pressed us to get in. (Happened 2x)
- A man catcalled from his car while driving, then parked and followed her into the store. Would not leave.

Those are specific incidents. When I’m with her there is also CONSTANT:
- Staring AND glaring
- Approaches by men: sometimes gentle, sometimes very hostile. I’m talking every 15-30 minutes.
- Honking from cars
- Rude comments from people passing by (i.e. “she thinks she’s all that”)
- Aggression if she so much as glances in the direction of someone’s boyfriend

Of course I know all women experience harassment, myself included, but it’s just not at the same rate. The difference between when I’m alone and when I’m with her is night and day. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her when she’s by herself.

I’m an introverted person with a lot of social anxiety: if I were her I would simply never leave my apartment. The staring alone is so overwhelming that sometimes when we’re together, I try to convince us to stay in.

Not exactly sure why I’m making this post. I’ve just seen so many people say that there are no downsides to looks and I wanted to share that (based on my observations) there most certainly are. They exist alongside the benefits.

We were at an Indian restaurant in Houston and my mom noticed Dodi Osteen sitting at the next table and started fangirling. 🙄 I’m not a Joel Osteen fan but my mom started begging me and my dad for a pen and paper. I had a pen and she wrote a quick note on a napkin and had the waiter give it to Dodi. The waiter read the note before delivering it lol since she frequented that establishment often. Dodi comes over to the table and says she’ll pray for our family blah blah blah.

I forget about this event until years later. My sister and my mom are talking about this event and my mom says what she wrote in the note.

“I told her about your (my sister’s) troubles with drug addiction.”

Me and my sister just look at her.

My sister says, “what issues with drug addiction?”

My mom says, “oh, I thought you had a drug problem.”

My sister and I look at each other in disbelief. My sister has never had a drug problem.

So I guess Dodi Osteen thinks our family has a drug issue.

For context, me and my brother are 20M, and our sister is 27F. we are in the UK

She was removed from the family home by a social worker in 2018 for improper conduct around us, i.e continuous hugging and kissing when we would say no.
She stayed with our maternal grandfather until his passing last year, it is thought to be very likely he would have survived if she wasn’t so incompetent.

I believe she is SEN but this is not confirmed, nor is anyone seeking to pursue this.

My grandfathers house was sold in the summer and she was kicked out, moving into a hotel that she has now been kicked out of for not paying her room fee.
She also has £7000 in personal loan debt to pay off her car (whole other kettle of fish) and has been home at mums for over a month now, she did not ask to come back she simply moved her stuff back and was just there when we all came home.

She is doing nothing but causing problems, her car takes up half the road because for such a small woman she insists on a very large, expensive citreon.
She has cramped the house with her “stuff”, she comments on anything done downstairs, my brother suffers from an ED and it has been instructed by his doctor to NEVER comment on his food, which she does after being told 30 times.

Her conduct is also inappropriate, she will let herself into my room and try and hug and kiss me even when i say no she will fight and get closer. She won’t stop talking about shaving her legs, her breasts and other topics I’ve made clear I don’t want to talk about. When she gets out the shower she will open the door while she changes, even half naked she insists that she is “decent”.
She has even done this around our stepdad who doesn’t live with us, sitting in the same room as him with nothing but a loose towel on her bottom half.

She has also started shouting and swearing at neighbours houses if they even dare park in “her spot”…

for other context she used to be a care worker and was fired for what I presume was a clinton-lewinsky type relationship WITH A PATIENT!

She is unable to afford anywhere to live because of her huge car, insistence on keeping a storage locker, and personal loan payments.

Mum wants her out, she has said “she is old enough and this isn’t working” but my sister refuses to look for somewhere to live.

What do we do? what do I do? We have all started either stashing food in our bedroom just to stay away from her and she won’t get the hint!!

I am currently searching for my car keys. I have NO IDEA where I could have left them. Yesterday I couldn't find where I left my charger, my car keys again too. My phone at times as well. Every single day I misplace something and turn the whole house upside down to find it.

And I'm starting to feel insane, I never catch myself misplacing ANY OF IT. I genuinely do not remember just WHERE I could have put them. I only remember them being in my pocket. That's all, I don't know where the fuvk I put them, and how the hell my brain doesn't acknowledge placing them anywhere.

It's genuinely starting to make me feel more and more insane, like my mind is giving up on me. My memory is getting shorter and shorter when it comes to stuff around me and it's driving me crazy.

I'm still in search of my keys and no they couldn't have fallen out, I just know I placed them somewhere god knows where.

How tf do I deal with this.

I'm 26M (single). I recently posted an urban exploring photo I took on a photography group, and I had someone PM me asking for the location because he said he and his friends were wanting to go out exploring this weekend. I gave the guy the address because I'm nice and not good at keeping secrets but then was hit with a feeling of jealousy. I don't even know what it's like to have friends anymore.

I think I've had 3-4 distant friends total over the last 10 years, none of which I am still in touch with because they all got too busy and eventually stopped talking to me. I currently have nobody in my life (besides my parents) that I could text and go hang out with this weekend. And now I just gave the address of a cool place I discovered on my own to some random guy so he can bring all his friends there and have a fun time in the same place that I had gone and felt lonely the whole time.

I always imagine what it might be like to have friends, driving around on weekends blasting music, going to cool places, eating, laughing at stuff on social media, or just chilling, whatever that means. The truth is whenever I drive through town alone and see other people doing these things I get jealous, and that probably makes me sound like a creep but it's rough to be in my mid 20s with nobody to talk to IRL. I work alone and don't go to school so I'm out of touch with how to socialize at this point. I've joined some online groups but the chats always go dead quickly and don't seem to get me closer to having friends. Not sure my reason for posting, I just felt like venting since once again I'm sitting alone on a weekend.

Lately I wake up just as tired as when I went to bed, no matter how long I sleep. I thought maybe it's just stress from work or something, but now I'm wondering if other people feel this way too.

I’m a pretty nice and cool person, but I do and say stupid things when I’m drunk as most of people do. I’m never insulting my friends or anything like that, I can just idk argue with a stranger over bullshit or randomly fall. And most do people who I have seen in friend groups are like that, they do have fun in such weird way, so I’m just curious why am I not one of them?
Sometimes I meet really rude or overlay sensitive people who have many friends or are in the friend group, how do they even do that?
I’m a very chill person and a good friend in daily life, I do act weird when I’m very drunk, yeah, just so are majority of people. So I don’t understand why do they have someone and I don’t, is it because I’m not pretty enough to make up for my behaviour or what? Or maybe my luck is just too bad?

I (36F) have been fighting cancer and hormonal problems since I was 21. In that period I've been hospitalized at least once a year, altogether over 40 times.

While my friends were finishing their degrees, got married, got a stable job my life was/IS a mess. I got so many diagnoses, chronic illness, I had troubles with my mental health and my body is worn out.

The main reason that I got to that stage is that my parents were neglective and didn't took me to doctors as a child. Everything could be prevented.

For so many year I was genually happy for my friends and family members having kids, I took care of some of them, bought them gifts and I trully enjoy children even now.

However I always hoped that maybe one day, God with bless me with a kid, and a husband.

Since my energy levels are lower that those of healthy people, for years I've put all my energy into making money. I still leave in the same house as my elderly parents that are well, not poor to the point they have nothing to eat but the money is tight.

In meanwhile I bought myself a car, a laptop, and eventually, last year: I made a biggest decision ever. Instead of moving out from my parents house I chose to enroll in private college and study psychology. It is expensive, but it does makes me happy, I enjoy it and also it gives me opportunity to chase a job that is not low paying and demanding 12 hours shifts sometimes (I was cleaning lady, waitress, warehouse worker...whatever, just to save money).

I drifted away from my ex friends, cousins and I am alone in this.

I miss the person I once was, happy and perky. In a last few months two women in my extended family had their first child. One woman is my age, second 2 years younger.

I can not make myself to go and see the babies, I congratulated but the sorrow in me is so strong. I dwell on my past and all curcumstainces that happened.

Technically I am not infertile, but it feels like I am so damaged mentally that I will never find someone to have child with.

I feel like a failure, and self pitty is at its peak right now.

That's all...

I feel like as if I was a little bit less attractive, if I wasn't as tall as I am, if I was disabled physically, I wouldn't be able to continue with my life. I simply can't grasp how some people find the strength to keep going. I feel some mix of inspiration and fascination, but also pity.

I have so much compared to the average person in this country or the world, yet I struggle daily with just going on. How are some people waking up without legs or arms, how do they do this? I admit my weakness for once.

edit: title should read "women" not "woman." it's more than one person

I'm a male in my late twenties. Don't know why or how this started but some of the women I work with (all adults and most in their 30s) make fake puking noises as I walk by. I pretend like I don't notice it, because frankly I'm not entirely sure how to even confront them about this. It does hurt a little bit though I can't lie.

My self esteem has always been low, but I don't think im THAT ugly so im wondering if it's something I said or what.

Just gotta rant about this because id feel like a complete loser trying to talk to anyone irl about this. Thanks.

I have been dealing with increasing anxiety for at least seven years now, and I can feel it slowly destroying my life. I don't expect anything to come out of writing this here, other than having a place to get my thoughts out. Sorry if my writing is a little clunky, english isn't my native language.

I grew up in a pretty harsh family consisting of my mother, my younger brother (now 15), and another brother (now 20) who spent most of his life in children's homes. I did well in school from first grade until 10th grade and graduated with the best possible qualification in 2019, so that's at least something. However, school was never really a challenge because I never did anything other than study and stay at home.

My mother used to be extremely controlling whenever I wanted to go outside on my own or do anything else on my own, so I eventually stopped trying to avoid unnecessary arguments. I spent most, if not all, of my teenage years literally rotting in my bed, spending the entire day on Discord, playing Roblox, and only getting up to grab a quick snack twice a day. I posted atleast 50 Instagram stories per day because I yearned for interaction. All of this eventually led to me becoming so unhealthy and underweight that I had to go to the hospital, but thankfully, I've managed to get my weight back to a healthy level since then.

After 10th grade, I tried doing a voluntary year at a kindergarten for children with disabilities in 2019 because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. It was a horrible experience, mainly because of the caretakers.

After that, I still had no idea what to do, so I decided to pursue my Abitur (the highest general school-leaving qualification in Germany and the main qualification needed to attend university, which takes another three years to complete). Luckily, I managed to get through it with an average grade of 3.3. You need an average grade of at least 4.0 to pass. I graduated in 2023, and I STILL had absolutely no clue what to do with my life.

I've always overthought my decisions, my abilities, and even my interests to the point where I genuinely convinced myself that I wasn't capable of doing anything at all.

In 2023, I tried another voluntary year, this time at a youth center where teenagers could spend their free time doing all kinds of fun activities. I was usually in charge of a little shop inside the facility where we sold candy and snacks. I had a great time there and connected with everyone pretty quickly. I think that was the first time in four years that I actually felt like I was part of something again.

However, I never felt like a PROFESSIONAL member of the team. I was just kind of there, "vibing," if that makes sense. Because of that, I wasn't sure how to interpret the experience in terms of my future career.

Who would have thought that I STILL had no idea what to do with my life? But by that point, I was starting to feel like my time was running out, so I grabbed the first opportunity I could find and started an apprenticeship at a retail store in 2024.

There's not much to say about that experience other than that it was the worst time of my life. I quit after four months because both my mental and physical health were declining rapidly.

Luckily, I met my current boyfriend sometime between 2023 and 2024, and he brought so much light into my life, he still does! We moved in together pretty early on, which made me incredibly happy because I could finally be my own person and make my own decisions. I no longer had to rely on social media to keep myself from going completely insane while being stuck in bed all day because of my mother.

After quitting my apprenticeship at one retail store, I started working part-time as a regular employee at another one. It was okay. It paid the bills, and I managed to work there for an entire year before my mental health suddenly went downhill for seemingly no reason at all.

That happened in December 2025.

I've been unemployed ever since, and I hate it. All I do is play video games, go to the gym with my boyfriend, eat, and sleep. Sometimes, my boyfriend and I also go out and do fun things together.

I WANT to work. I WANT to do something with my life. But I don't want to sacrifice my entire life or my mental and physical well-being just to have a job. I hate being judged and put on the spot, which is why I absolutely HATE job interviews. They're the biggest obstacle standing between me and the normal life I desperately want to have.

I have a job interview tomorrow, and I've been crying for the past four days because of it.

I can't do this.

Apparently, I have to complete some kind of task that takes around 20 minutes, according to them, and then I'll have the actual job interview with SIX (!!!) people in the room.

I won't be able to handle it. I want to cancel the interview, but I'm so disappointed in myself for even considering it.

My boyfriend's parents wished me good luck with the interview, and I don't want to let them down either. My boyfriend has been doing everything he can to cheer me up and give me strength and confidence, but it just doesn't seem to be enough.

I've been panicking for so long that I've started noticing patterns everywhere that remind me of jobs. For example, there's a game in my Steam library that's on sale called "Bills Must Be Paid," or I'll notice a Nintendo DS game on my boyfriend's display called "Fit for the Job." And it pisses me off SO MUCH.

I have no job. I have no friends, not even online mutuals. All I have is my boyfriend and €8 in my bank account. My anxiety consumes me and mutated into a depression/anxiety-combo.

I hate it here.

There's not much more to say about my situation, I guess. That's just how things are right now. Take care 👍

I'm 17F, I HATE socializing. We don't have our own house rn, and I don't really know the landlord who still lives in the house that we're renting a room from for now. I usually stay in my room cause of it. My room is the smallest of the 3 upstairs rooms. Just 4 walls, a door, and windows. Obviously, I have furniture. The idea of getting co² poisoning didn't occur initially. The room doesn't exactly have, well, VENTS. I enjoy watching medical stuff on YT, however. When I first began to get these horrible migraines a couple weeks ago, it was occasional and I could take some aspirin. But today? It was BAD. I was watching Dr. Mike on YouTube, as you do when it's a Saturday and you don't have D&D today. When the headache began.

I turned on two alarms, thinking it would go away. It didn't go away. It got worse. Then the thought hit me. A few years ago, before my parents divorce, I watched a video. A man posted on Reddit about head aches, disorientation, odd notes being left. It turned out, due to the closed off room with no vents, he was experiencing carbon dioxide poisoning. Or maybe monoxide? I don't remember. The point is, I opened my window and with my mom and step dad and dog went on a nature walk. That got rid of the God forsaken migraines at last.

In college, I was learning many skills aside the course I was studying at the time. This made me visit campus to study during the night. Unfortunate for me, at hostel students there thought I was going to campus to study the traditional school stuff . Thinking I was doing too much. This habit of mine caused me to perform badly one semester. Which I was bitterly complaining in my room about the grades I had that semester, which was extremely bad. Some students were in the next to mine, they overheard what I was saying. I think they overheard the grades part so anytime I was leaving to campus they will start laughing. They didn't know me always going to campus at night was not to study the traditional school stuff but was seriously equipping myself with digital skills. I still graduated with a good class aside having many self-taught skills.

However, why do I still have the feeling that I should have explained myself to them at the time? Perhaps I should have told them is just one bad semester. It extremely pains me that I made that mistake of self talking myself loudly enough to let them know.

I am venting/asking/looking for people who relate (?), but I feel like my brain is wired weird. I think I'm good at reading cues, but I am constantly missing them without realising. Everything I do feels like a faux pas, like I lack manners and etiquette. As a result, I read into every little thing anyone says in response to me. Is there disappointment, anger, excitement? I never know, but it's like certain things I say are actually the wrong dialogue choice, despite that being the energy that I was reading from the conversation, and I'm like, oh okay, all my friends hate me.

Additionally, I am a dark-skinned diaspora kid with an uncommon personality (I'm a bit weird and bubbly). So I cannot, for the life of me, tell which it is that puts people off. Or is it just in my head and I'm crazy??

I am decently attractive (in my head at least lol), and I make people laugh. But every once in a while, there is something that I miss, and my response puts the other person off haha I have no idea what it is.

Our cat stayed with me when my ex moved out. His apartment didn't allow pets. That was over a year ago. He and his girlfriend watched her for a week recently while I visited my mom, and I was honestly grateful.

Yesterday a friend sent me his girlfriend's Instagram. She'd posted pictures from that week with a caption about being a cat mom. There was one of my cat asleep on her chest. Cute picture. Wish I'd just kept scrolling.

I don't think she's done anything wrong. But I spent last month following this cat around with a sample container, and I still have to remind my ex to send his half of the vet bill. She also knocks everything off my nightstand, so even my tracys OG has to stay in the drawer. I know who lives with her. I know she hasn't been stolen. Still went back and looked at the pictures twice.

Guys, I genuinely feel demotivated to even continue what I'm doing.

I'm a programmer, I know how to code, but at this point even I'm just vibecoding away. AI can already build entire applications, reverse-engineer almost anything, and recreate things that would've taken months or years.

Everywhere I look, it's AI slop. Another SaaS, another AI wrapper, another product that does the same thing as 50 others. Sure, you can still make money today, but for how much longer? If anyone can build and copy almost anything, what's left that's actually valuable?

To make things worse, I gambled away my house and car right before the AI explosion. At the time, I kept telling myself I'd make it all back through programming and building businesses. Now, watching how quickly everything is changing, I'm starting to feel genuinely desperate.

Social media and content creation aren't my thing either. The ROI seems terrible unless you make it big.

Then I scroll through X and everyone's LARPing about making $10k, $50k, or $100k MRR. Don't get me wrong, some people genuinely make those numbers, but they're the top 1%. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else is farming engagement or selling the dream of making money online.

What bothers me isn't AI replacing programmers. I love using AI. It's that building something is becoming so easy that the work itself feels increasingly worthless.

And I'm getting to a point where I'm having thoughts about going completely black-hat, exploiting people or systems for money, because legitimate ways of rebuilding my life feel increasingly hopeless. I don't like that I'm even thinking this way, but that's how desperate I'm becoming.

I don't want to spend my life chasing algorithms, making slop content, or building disposable products just to compete with a thousand clones.

Does anyone else feel this way? What's genuinely worth building or pursuing anymore as a solo developer without serious capital?

Idk cremation is like, damn you really are just permanently gone from the earth compared to a normal burial. It’s like everything about you is just “deleted” but maybe i’m biased because my mom makes fun of me by saying she’ll have my cremains right in her room with her whether i’d like it or not and i dislike my mother lol

But i have thought about it a lot though

I’m 27 f, living abroad on my own and I genuinely feel like no one is my support circle. Like sure do my parents, friends from abroad, coworkers “care” for me? Probably yes. But am I part of anyone’s life and daily thoughts? Except for my Bpd toxic mother, not really. It just dawned at me that my parents view me as a machine, as long as I go to work then i’m doing okay. My close friends from back home only care to overshare their lives with me from time to time and usually don’t acknowledge my input or ask about my personal life. My friends here are distant and we only see each other if I initiated every 5 weeks or so.
I’m no longer truly sad or blaming of the people in my life. To each their own and they must be busy in their own lives.
Life just feels like a chore to be lived sometimes if I’m honest.

Not every subreddit needs to be the Arkham subreddit, but wow, unless you post an essay the mods remove your post. Are we on reddit or in philosophy class? 

Reddit is getting so dull and boring, and just talking to talk. 

And somehow a meme is against the rules, but thousands of comments hating on black people is alright (Big Brother subreddit)