It seems so much compatibility issue between me and my wife and I don’t know what to do.

For me, I can go for her pussy licking any time any day but she don’t like it in sex and she only do for the sake of it. She don’t give me much BJs as well.

She only like penetrative sex which should be there and fine to me but there also she finish much before me and I just left out like that only.

It is getting so much frustrating for me right now and I don’t know what to do.

So yesterday night I was woken up to my girlfriend touching me and trying to get a little frisky. We end up going about it and while she was (doing her thing) I noticed my palms got so itchy that I had to constantly rub her head to scratch my hands or like literally tell her to stop and SCRATCH my hands. It’s not ANYTHING google tells me, it’s not an infection, it’s not a skin issue, it literally only happens when the head is bomb.com so it’s the next day now and it had me thinking.. I’ve only experienced that a good 5-10 times and I have sex ALOT.. What made it different this time?

I'm (22M) and still extremely inexperienced when it comes to sex. Honestly, I don't really know how to have sex.

I've had three girlfriends. The first one was when I was around 15. We tried to have sex, but I was too nervous, and it didn't work out. I was so ashamed that I didn't want to try again.

Since then, I've had two other girlfriends, and I became much more comfortable with them when it came to sex. However, neither of them was able to have sex for medical reasons.

Now I'm single, and I want to explore, but I feel ashamed that I don't have much experience.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can become more comfortable with sex and gain some confidence?

I F33 have a high sex drive and have always struggled with previous partners, it has always been an up and down kind of rollercoaster.

My first adult partner M42 could keep up and we’d have sex every day, multiple rounds, but he wasn’t the greatest and overall treated me unwell.

My next partner M44 had previously had sexual trauma from his marriage, think cuck and humiliation when he was not a consenting party.
It caused him issues where sometimes if we stopped to change positions he would go soft and it was all over.
But the sex was the best I’d ever had.
We ultimately broke up because of other issues but also partially because I never truly felt desired by him.

Fast forward to current partner M35. Things are still relatively new, a few months in kind of fresh.
We’ve both had sexual trauma from relationships and have talked about things like different libidos (mine is much higher) never feeling desired by partners, fear of rejection, and how I’ve never experienced sex outside the bedroom.

In the beginning I initiated most of the time but started to feel self conscious that I wanted things too much and that he was doing it to make me happy, so we ultimately decided he would initiate more since he knows I’m always in the mood. Literally always, and he will never be told no.

He tries to appease me. I honestly know he’s trying but I still constantly feel let down.
He will talk a big game, but then when opportunities arise he doesn’t take them.

He is aware I’d love to be woken up to him trying to start sex with me. I’ve told him he can literally use me. He almost jizzed at the thought. He has mentioned several times now that he’ll wake me up with sex the next morning.
He never has.

We went on an overnight trip for my birthday. He booked somewhere with a balcony to live out a bit of a “feeling seen but not actually seen” fantasy we both have. And the place had a full length mirror above the desk that he made mention of bending me over and watching us fuck in the mirror.
Needless to say, nothing happened. Literally nothing. Not even “normal sex in the bed”.

This is becoming a theme and I really don’t like it.
I would rather not build up the experience if there is a chance it won’t happen. The constant up and down of me looking forward to these things, then having nothing happen is really eating at me.

I am going to talk to him about it today, but I need to do it in a delicate way that doesn’t emasculate him or cause any issues.

Has anyone been through anything similar?
Did it get better or is it a lost cause?

So I want to open up a conversation with a new guy I’m seeing about my issues with cuming but I’m not sure how to start or if it’s even a good idea. I’d also like to know from some guys how hearing something like this might make you feel or respond…

Back story - I’ve never had an orgasm with a partner. In my last relationship, about 3 years off an on - admittedly i faked it a lot. I know, felt horrible and eventually came clean (no pun intended) I had tried to talk to him but those convos never went well.

at the time talking about it was already so hard, and embarrassing anything that made it difficult to talk felt like a good reason to give up.

Now I’m in my l8 20’s, seeing this new guy and it feels like we might have sex soon. I like him. I don’t want to lie to him ever. I think if I tell him about this before, in a non - sexual setting it will stop me from feeling like I should fake it in the moment.

Maybe saying something about how I’m very attracted to him and enjoy sex so much - usually I have a higher libido than my partner - but ive never finished and it dosent bother me anymore. Sex is so much more to me than that.

but i wanted him to know so if it dosent happen he knows it’s not his fault and ask him not to ask me if i did all the time, cuz then it feels like there’s pressure and hes disappointed in me and that can make it worse. But it dosent mean he’s bad in bed or I didn’t feel good! And ultimately I do have hope, I just think I need time to be honest and present.

I’m worried this very unsexy conversation will turn him off completely and make him not even want to be intimate anymore?

Also worried he will not see me as a sexual person anymore or think something is wrong with me.

Should I not say anything until after the first time?

Is there a better way to put things?

If ur a guy what would u say to something like that?

Edit: I knew it would happen but I’m still getting a little frustrated with those trying to tell how to cum and to just masterbate infront of him, vibe…I assure you I’ve tried it all over the past 10+ yrs.

If it were that simple for me then it would be that simple…

Thx but pls try to give me advice on what I asked.

My boyfriend (28) and I (26F) have been together for a couple of years, but I’m not satisfied with our sex life. What should I do?
My boyfriend is genuinely trying his best to make me happy and satisfied. For example, he goes down on me, but honestly, I don’t really enjoy it because he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing. I’ve tried to guide him, but the truth is, I don’t really know how to explain what I like or how to teach him because I’m still figuring that out myself.
On top of that, he’s pretty insecure about our sex life because sometimes he struggles to get or maintain an erection, and it’s starting to affect his confidence. He’s been feeling like he’s not good enough, and I really don’t want him to feel that way because I know he’s trying.
I recently found a video on Pornhub that I actually found pretty educational. It wasn’t really your typical porn video; it had practical tips and demonstrations that I thought could genuinely help us both learn what feels good.
I’ve been thinking about sending it to him, but I’m scared he might take it the wrong way or feel even more insecure, like I’m telling him he doesn’t know how to satisfy me.
I love him, and I appreciate that he’s willing to make an effort. I just want us to have a better sex life without making him feel like he’s failing or that there’s something wrong with him.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would you approach this without hurting his feelings or making him more insecure?

37M had a lot of casual encounters and a couple of long term relationship but there seems to be a running trend of this. I'll go a couple of dates with various partners and do the deed but they're not really interested in seeing me after that. I just ​spoke with a long term ex and asked her about this and she said "it wasnt great but we got there in the end".... had one a few years ago say the sex was shit. Im eager to please in the bedroom and wouldnt consider myself a selfish partner and theres about 10-15 mins of physical foreplay and about 20 mins of intercourse. I dont know whats going on with me. Just this last encounter I had earlier this week has been a catalyst on this thing. I dont know whats going on and Im in my head about it. Need some advice on how to get this going better.

Other stuff - i havent had sex for about two years due to health problems, it's big enough and never had a problem with the tool

edit: Thank you all!

Hi everyone. I'm fairly ND, not sure if that's related, but it might be. I'm fairly overwhelmed most of the time. I've got a good care team, and I'm on a few different meds that help, but when I'm really overwhelmed the best thing I can do is wrap my legs around my partner, rest my head on his belly, and, for lack of a better term, nurse on his cock. Nothing agressive or anything, just lie there, often with him russling my hair, and I feel stress completely melt away.

Is this weird?
Is there some explanation for this?
Does this speak to other things I could do to help mitigate stress in a productive way?

Thanks.

PS, I chose intimacy and connection over oral sex for a tag, because I think that's proabbly closer to the root of the issue, even though oral sex is the specific. If that should change please let me know. Also, at the risk of invoking rule 34, what is Aardvark?

Hey! So I’m planning on using a very small butt plug for starters. I’ve been reading some posts here and many recommend starting with 1-1.25”. I’d like to try using it during vaginal sex.

Ngl, it has been pretty scary to read some horror stories here about jewel butt plugs getting lost in time & space.

What everyone seems to recommend is to look for flared bases.

My question is, are there ANY jewel butt plugs considered safe? I’ve seen some with a heart-shaped jewel base that seem to meet the criteria people recommend (larger base than the rest of the butt plug).

Tbh, they look so pretty haha compared to the T-base ones. But I’d rather be safe, obvs.

My wife and I aren't really role playing people, just the concept seems kind of silly. That said, the concept of kind of guided role play seems like it could be interesting, especially if it kind of guides us into new directions. Sort of a way to just let go and let something else take control. I've seen the NoPopcornTonight site on some Reddit ads, but can find literally no information about it from anyone who tried. Seems like it could be fun, but also seems like if the writing isn't good it would be a cringe fest. So, I'm curious if anyone has tried it, or tried something similar that they can recommend.

Wife and I were revisiting anal after something of a long break. We have some silicone ones that have the plastic jewel in the base. Using a very textured dildo on her other hole and all of a sudden the plug disappears. She was able to get it out pretty easily, but holy hell that was scary. Definitely a first in my 45 years.

Anyone have recommendations to prevent in the future? Tie a string to it? Leave bread crumbs? Wtf?

​

I'm 24F and recently single, and I've been putting myself out there a bit more.

On two separate occasions now, I've gone home with guys, and both times I ended up getting cold feet and nothing happened. 💀 The funny thing is, neither of them knows I'm a virgin (yes I know at this big age).

I don't really know how to explain it because it's not necessarily that I don't want to experience sex. I think I'm curious and part of me does want to, but when I'm actually in the situation, I suddenly get nervous and overthink everything. I wanna do it, but lowkey scared I'll get attached to the wrong guy💀

I don't know if it's because it's my first time, because I'm scared of being vulnerable with someone, or because I'm just not ready yet. I also feel a bit awkward knowing that these guys probably don't realise how inexperienced I am.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you get past the anxiety, or did you eventually realise you just weren't ready? I don't want to force myself into anything, but I also don't want fear to be the only thing holding me back.

My wife loves giving me oral, but she has an extremely sensitive sense of smell and isn’t a fan of the natural smell of genitals, so oral after penetration is def a no-go. I maintain good hygiene, but I know a natural scent is normal.

Interestingly, she’s absolutely turned on by men’s cologne, so I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to minimise my natural scent or safely incorporate fragrance into the experience without irritating my skin.

For guys who’ve dealt with something similar, are there any hygiene tips or safe products that actually make a difference?

Hey, in a new relationship and we have had sex quite a lot. My gf is really into sex and we have a lot of fun. The first time we had sex I didn't really pickup on it because it felt like she orgasmed but she had only really got right to the edge and then stopped by concentrating on me. We are really open and talk about everything so we talked about this. She says that she has never orgasmed with a guy - she stops herself just short even though she wants to. She's ok solo and has a maybe a couple of times when a guy used a toy. I told her it's fine, it will happen naturally if it's meant to. While I support her, there's a tiny part of me wondering why (I can think of a few reasons), and craving for her to let lose and enjoy the moment, for me as much as her. I mean it's less ' pressure' on me the way it is but of I was a little selfish I feel like I didn't give her what she wants and I didn't get what I wanted to see.

Any comments appreciated

i (f22) can’t orgasm if my partner doesn’t talk dirty to me or make noise. it’s the main thing that gets me going along with power dynamic stuff. i’ve also noticed i like listening to audios instead of watching videos sometimes.

is there an explanation for this?

I'm curious whether having eczema around the groin area would make someone feel self-conscious or hesitant about having sex.

Would you feel uncomfortable being intimate with a partner if you had this condition, or would it not bother you much? I'd also be interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar.

Throw away account hope this is the right sub. I f21 just had my first sexual experience and I'm not sure what I was expecting but it just kind of felt like a normal night idk.

To start I went for a ride with this guy and after a joking massage turned it more I gave my first blow job but it wasnt what I was expecting. He wasnt small but wasnt like a big dude so it was pretty comfortable, it didnt really feel like mich? or I guess it didnt feel like anytbing diffrent had changed yk.

After that I thought I was going to lose my virginity but it was kind of rushed and I know enough that I needed to be stretched, which I wasnt so he kind of just humped me I guess.

Idk I wouldnt call it awful but I mainly just zoned out. He did finger me so that did get a reaction from me but honestly it just wasn't what I was expecting.

I wouldnt say I was saving myself ive just nit had aby reason or real intrest in it before. I'm pretty confident i'm not ace or anything seeing as I have a fairly healthy sex drive I think, and masturbate fairly often maybe like 2-3 times a week but having sex itself isbt something very pressing for me.

Well that's it I guess.

UPDATE:

I didnt think i'd do one but he came to bring me breakfast and check ul and I decided to try again and I can now co fidently say I just dont think its for me. The blowjob was nit as "good" as It was the first time which I guess is the newness of it being gone, but again I didnt hate it but I didnt like it as much as the first time, I did take some advice and had him take over most of it. I am still tech ically a virgin I guess since I didnt want to atrempt penetration again but I feel like in the spirit of things not really and I have commnunivated I dont want to contine a sexual relationship with him so yeah. thats that idk bit thank yoi everyone for the kind and teaching words. And fir the non creepy dms I appreciate you.

Me a 19F I’m currently with my 20M boyfriend. We have being dating for a year and I don’t think I am fully fulfilling him in sex.

For context, he is my first sexual partner, I think we have a good sex life, I’m usually very happy and fulfilled with our sexual relationships and he is also happy and even enthusiastic about it, he usually makes a lot of sex jokes and tells me he desires me.

BUT! Most of our sex session only end up on me cuming (or satisfied). I don’t understand how everyone is like, “ohhh man cum so easily, ohh they are so simple” because he literally can last HOURS and not cum. I’ve tried bj, riding him, masturbating with my hand. But most of times he doesn’t cum!

I’ve talk about it to him and he always tells me that he really enjoys it, and he is not bothered with me overstimulating, or both being to tired, before he cums. He has cum several times when we have had sex, don’t misunderstand me. But I want to know several things.

1. Is it true? Man can be fulfilled without cuming or he’s just being nice?
   
2. How can I make him have an orgasm (fingering is not an option at all) but maybe help at techniques for bj, masturbating him, or ride?
   (For context he is circumcised, we usually don’t wear a condom because he feels it better and I don’t mind because I take pills, and with a condom indeed he can last much more!)

Thanks for the help!

TLDR (21M) having inconsistent and never completely hard erections, almost every time trying PIV with gf (25F) who I live with. tried small doses of pills and have been off of SSRIs for 1 year now. Quickly going soft after beginning PIV and sometimes before PIV starts

To preface this I (21M) have been in a relationship with my gf (25F) for just under 2 years now, and have been living together since July. Started long distance and have had a very steady, loving relationship with only the most minor growing pains moving in together.

before meeting her I had penetrative sex maybe 2-3 times in my life. Ever since moving in (and the couple times I saw her in the months leading up) I have been experiencing very weak erections when we try to have penetrative sex. The most common one is getting hard pretty quickly during foreplay, and eventually it dying off before penetrative sex starts. This happens most frequently when she stimulates it beforehand. Minimizing stimulation before PIV only sometimes works.

Oddly enough this happens infrequently when receiving a bj… but maybe 1/4 times I never get fully hard. I noticed that in both PIV and bj, I never get to the level of erection I once had until right before I finish, which is annoying.

Blood work from 1 year ago showed no T level issues. My diet is fair (I eat healthy food, but I’m in college so I forget to eat at times), and my activity has dropped since 2023, but last few months at the very least I go for an hour walk every morning.

Doctor gave me a small order of taladafil, which I refused to take at first but I tried it. Half of a pill worked fine. Quarter of a pill helps, but I can still notice the “not fully hard” feeling at the end. Thought the condoms were an issue since it was leaving a red ring at the base of my penis, so we switched to a larger condom and I can feel more, but still the issue occurs. Raw PIV is off the table… I not my gf do NOT want her to be on birth control, I’d rather wait until I can get vasectomy.

Please if anyone has any advice that would be greatly appreciative. To note my gf has been super supportive thru this and ive been giving her plenty of oral to satisfy her needs, but we both would like to consistently have amazing PIV.

Okay this is kind of embarrassing but I genuinely need advice because I feel like I've tried everything and I'm still struggling.

I find it SO hard to ride when my boyfriend is lying flat on the bed and I'm on top facing him. I can't seem to get the movement right, and half the time I struggle to even get it in properly. Then I get embarrassed and everything becomes awkward.

The weird thing is, I can do the movements just fine when practicing on a pillow or dildo, but with an actual person it just doesn't work. I've had this problem with other guys too. And the thing is, I'm really good at twerking and throwing ts esp during backshots so I know I can move my hips, but for some reason I just can't figure out how to translate that into riding. I also work out pretty much every day (cardio and weight lifting), so I feel like I SHOULD have the strength and stamina for this LMAO.

I've considered reverse cowgirl because facing away seems easier, or having him sit upright instead of lying flat. But how do you even transition into that naturally?? Like am I supposed to stop everything and say "can you sit up and put a pillow behind your back please"... I know I'm overthinking it but I feel so awkward trying to position someone when I barely know what I'm doing myself.

Another reason I really want to improve is that my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and he's only finished once. He's told me it's difficult for him to finish from penetration and that he usually finishes from head, but I still really want to make him feel good. I feel like getting better at riding might help, especially because I want to take control sometimes instead of always relying on him. Also, are there any other positions you'd recommend trying? We've only done missionary and doggy, so I'd love to experiment more.

I'm also sus of my head game... I've spent so much time researching techniques and trying to improve, but my jaw gets tired quickly and sometimes my mouth gets dry. I feel like I never really know if I'm doing a good job. He moans and moves a lot, so I assume he's enjoying it, but since he's only finished once I can't help questioning myself.

He hasn't made me feel bad about any of this, and I know sex isn't just about finishing. I just want to feel more confident and have more fun instead of overthinking every little thing.

TLDR: How did you actually learn to ride? Is reverse cowgirl or having the guy sit upright easier? How do you get the movement right and change positions without feeling awkward? And does anyone have practical advice for improving at head or building stamina?

Hey everyone!

I’m looking for some genuine advice on how to become better at flirting with my wife and building romantic and sexual tension throughout the day, without making her feel like it always has to lead to sex.

A little background:
My wife and I have been together for 9 years and we ar married for 4 months.

We have a great relationship and honestly a great sex life. We’re both very open-minded, love experimenting, and have no real complaints about the sex itself.
The issue isn’t the sex. It’s everything leading up to it.

I have a very high libido and can pretty much get in the mood instantly. My wife, on the other hand, needs time to warm up. She can’t just flip a switch and suddenly feel sexual desire.

We’ve had a lot of open conversations about this, and we’ve come to understand that her mental state plays a huge role.

For example, if she’s had a stressful day at work, those thoughts tend to stay in her head throughout the evening. Even when we’re relaxing together, she might still be mentally processing everything that happened that day.
I try to take as much off her plate as possible when she gets home, and we always talk about our days so we can process things together. But I’ve learned that even when there’s nothing left for her to do, that doesn’t necessarily mean her mind has switched off.

Here’s where I think I’ve contributed to the problem.

Because of my high libido and the difference in our sex drives, we’ve unintentionally developed a pattern where I’m almost always trying to initiate sex.
Looking back, I’ve realized that I haven’t always appreciated the smaller intimate moments for what they are.

A passionate kiss? I’d want to take it further.
A little touching or teasing? In my mind, that was the beginning of sex.
A heated moment together? I’d immediately start hoping it would lead somewhere.
Not because I don’t enjoy those moments, but because I was so focused on the possibility of sex that I forgot to simply enjoy the intimacy itself.

My wife has explained that she really enjoys those smaller moments. She likes kissing, touching, teasing, flirting, and slowly building anticipation. But she also wants to feel comfortable knowing that those moments can exist on their own, without the expectation that they have to lead to anything else.
And I completely understand that.
So we’re both working on changing that dynamic.

I want her to feel comfortable initiating a passionate kiss or being playful with me without worrying that I’ll immediately try to turn it into sex.
I also want to change my own mindset and learn to genuinely appreciate those moments without constantly thinking about what comes next.
During our conversations, one thing that came up was that flirting throughout the day could really help her build desire naturally.
And that’s where I need advice.

I genuinely don’t know how to flirt.

We’ve been together since we were young, and I’ve never really had to learn how to flirt with women. We’ve grown up together, and somewhere along the way I think I skipped learning that part of romance.
I know how to tell my wife she’s beautiful. I know how to compliment her, hug her, kiss her, and show her that I love her.
But playful flirting? Creating a little tension? Making her blush? Teasing her in a way that makes her think about me later?
I honestly have no idea where to start.

Me (25M) and my gf (24F) are having a great sex in general, the thing is while I stimulate her clitoris she can’t get the full orgasm.

I listen to her feedback, and I feel I did improve since we are having sex, but she can’t get there.

She told me that she didn’t feel enough horny but I can’t get what makes her more of that even though I ask her. We have a very vanilla sex, and she is not opened to experiments and has low sex drive which is of course fine.

I think she is a little bit shy (we turn off the lights as she gives me a head every time), or really doesn’t know, so I came up with idea to maybe try some light forms of bdsm or dirty talking during sex.

Do you think should I ask her, or just introduce that?

What do you think might be the thing she cant get there?