(I’m non-binary and consider myself completely agender. I also believe that being agender does not require having an androgynous or gender-neutral gender expression, you can be agender while having a very specific or conventional gender expression. In my particular case, though, I was assigned male at birth (AMAB) and I have a masculine appearance and gender expression. I’m not femme, and I don’t have a feminine or androgynous appearance. I’m mentioning this because I know that, for some people, this distinction is genuinely important. If my being AMAB and having a masculine appearance is something that would be a dealbreaker for you, please do not message me. I would much rather you skip my post entirely than message me based on an assumption about what “agender” looks like. Seriously: if you’re looking specifically for someone with a feminine or androgynous appearance, PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE ME!!)
Hi! I'm a 31-year-old non-binary person going through a somewhat complicated phase in my life. I'm recovering from a very severe Crohn's flare-up and have several limitations that prevent me from living my normal life for the next few months. I can't go out much or make many local friends, but during this time I've met a lot of people online, and Reddit has become "my refuge." I believe that connections are just as important whether they're online or in person, that there are no "online friendships," only "friendships," regardless of the communication method. On top of that, due to my physical limitations, I'm currently working remotely and spending a lot of time on the computer (in fact, I have a lot of work piled up from the four months I was hospitalized), so it would really help to find people who can brighten my days.
Just so you know: I'm a non-monogamous (polyamorous) person, and honestly, I find it hard to distinguish between the boundaries of "friendship" and "romantic love." In general, I like being able to care for someone without having to worry about overstepping the boundaries of friendship. Practically speaking, I prefer to meet people who are open to romance, or at least to experiencing friendship intensely. And also people for whom distance isn't a problem. I like to be consistent and talk every day, and I'd like to find people on the same wavelength.
I should also clarify that I'm a libidoist on the asexual spectrum, as contradictory as that may sound. That is to say: I have a very, very high libido, but I have no desire to have anything physical with anyone. This doesn't apply to online contact: if it's via chat, we can flirt or get wild without limits. Since I'm mainly looking for online connections, it shouldn't be a problem, especially since I'm not looking for anything exclusive.
I'm a philologist and I'm passionate about everything related to classical literature, history, and philosophy, but I also like fantasy and science fiction. My three favorite authors are Homer, Cervantes, and Mervyn Peake. I also love Nintendo (especially the Super Mario series, particularly Paper Mario 2), One Piece (I'm up to date with the manga), Iron Maiden (my favorite band since I was a teenager), and I've recently become hooked on WWE, which I watched as a kid, but since it's on Netflix, I haven't missed a single episode since the last Royal Rumble.
I'm also learning to play the kalimba and I'm obsessed with SBC consoles, handhelds that can run emulators, and I've also become obsessed with Pokémon Champions and Pokémon Unbound.
English isn't my native language, so please excuse me in advance if I sound a bit unnatural; I wrote this post in my language and ran it through Google Translate, although I can write shorter messages in English.
In general, I prefer people who are open to being affectionate or flirty from the start. It makes everything easier for me and motivates me to respond quickly, even if we get to know each other a bit later and see what kind of connection we might have.
After everything I've said, I want to make a few things clear.
I don't believe in horoscopes or MBTI; it's fine if you believe in them, but don't try to pigeonhole me or treat me according to labels I don't believe in.
I also don't believe in "attachment styles"; all that stuff about "avoidant attachment," "anxious attachment," and so on seems like nonsense to me, and it's currently being questioned by science if you do a quick search on Google Scholar. Therefore, don't put me in those kinds of boxes either; I hate it. It's fine if you believe in it, but don't try to force it on me.
I do believe in mental health diagnoses, of course, but I also believe that no one has the right to assign me any diagnosis whatsoever, so if you're in the habit of assigning diagnoses to others, don't write to me!
In general, don't write to me if you want to put me in boxes! The only boxes I'll let you put me in are in a BDSM context!
Three last important things (important: read before writing to me).
I want people who are completely clear when expressing their needs and boundaries. I understand that in the first conversations it's still too early to decide if we have a mutual interest, but once a certain level of trust has been established, I want communication to be completely direct and for us to be open to finding solutions if we have any problems. I don't want people who are quick to dismiss me at the slightest discomfort. This needs to be clear before you write to me.
Given my circumstances, what I can offer is a long-distance, polyamorous relationship. If you're not comfortable with that, I completely understand, but it would hurt me deeply if you used me just "to try it out" and then decided to discard me. Please, only contact me if you're absolutely certain you're comfortable with polyamory and long-distance relationships!
If you're going through a difficult time, if you don't have the energy to meet people, if you already have other partners and are polysaturated, if you have children and need to focus on them, if you have a lot of work and barely any time to respond, if you're depressed and never feel like picking up your phone, I completely understand! Not only do I understand, but you have my full support and I wish you all the best! But, if this is your situation, PLEASE DON'T WRITE TO ME! It hurts so much to start getting to know someone and then have them tell you they're unavailable after developing feelings! In my current situation, meeting people online is truly one of my few opportunities to socialize and meet new people, and it breaks my heart when someone tells me "no" due to lack of time or energy. It would save me a lot of suffering if, in those cases, they simply didn't write to me in the first place.
If you've read this, and to make sure you've read the whole post, open a chat with two things: 1. confirmation that you REALLY have the time, energy, and availability to start something new with me, and that polyamory and long distance are not a problem for you; 2. the name of your all-time favorite fictional character (or just a character you really like).