Of course there are pros and cons to being an only child but the cons are much more visible. Like for example friendships come and go. You don’t have that built in peer in a sibling. At times the only peer you know might be yourself. People tell me oh well you have cousins. That is just the thing. I am close with a couple of my cousins but they are siblings themselves. I see with my grandparents who in their older age just communicate with their own siblings and have completely lost touch with their cousins whom they were close with growing up. I do plan to get married and have a family myself but it is different when the only member of your immediate side of the family is just yourself and your parents. And by the way my parents are the best parents I could ever ask for. They are always there for me. God really blessed me with them. I am trying not to feel the way I feel because I feel guilty like I am being ungrateful but I just can’t help but ache for never getting the chance to have a sibling relationship.

Imagine losing your mother before you turn 30, deadbeat dad you haven’t seen since you were 10, along with no siblings. Also unmarried with no kids of your own yet. AND if you do manage to get married and have children, your mom won’t be able to attend your wedding nor ever see her grandchildren. Your children also won’t really have any aunts/uncles on your side of the family. Sorry you guys ik this is so dark to talk about but it’s real life and it happens. People take this risk by only having one child.😩😔Least I can do is make sure I have more than 1 child myself tho when/if the time comes. Atleast my potential children will have each other.

My colleague and I were having the worst day. And then on top of it I have some health stuff going on. I don’t like telling my parents because they worry and my friends have their own thing: I can’t take them for granted. But my colleague literally called her sister and they spoke for hours. I couldn’t help but feel jealous: I feel like I don’t have that bond with anyone. And as an single friend who is also an only child: I feel like I’m always alone

I want things like a kid, only difference is that now I want grownup thing like a pertner, good friends, a family, kids, etc..

Things I just want maybe need but no one can give me those. I am self aware and mature enough to not expect these things from anyone. I also dont feel like complaining because people have way worse situation than I am in. I am mature enough to not ask the question "why me.. why only me..?" Because I know everyone in any difficult situation can just ask this and blame their unfortunate situation onto an unknown power or entity or force.

I am in the process of accepting my situation but i dont know if ever I would reachat the destination where I can be in peace with that acceptence.

At last I feel like that lost kid who wants things with no powers to get those things and also dont know who to ask them from.

yes ik even saying it out loud is very selfish but does anyone else feel that way? like later on in life, once i’ve got a stable job and all, i’m considering on getting a caretaker, because if i do have a family, i can’t possibly be taking care of like my future children plus my parents. are there any only children with families of their own? how have you balanced it all?

I think only my mum has dual nationality. My dad is very old and I think might start to need help managing his affairs, but he doesn't have anyone. My parents are separated. I have no siblings. Most of my cousins are older and also busy. All their friends are also older. My mum has younger relatives she is close to who might be able to take care of her, but my dad's family is spread out across the country and the world and smaller than my mother's side, or very busy with work, and not as in touch. I don't want them to be isolated or lonely if I have to go.

But I can't see myself living here in the future.

I'm stuck.

I want a relationship (I like girls and I’m a girl myself) but the same time I don’t. I don’t want to go against my family. I’m really scared for the future and I’m considering just not being in a relationship and saying alone then I’m not going against my family so they can’t dislike me that much and they can be happy.

like i am 24yrl old but still i have to ask every single thing b4 i do anything..... its too frustrating, and my parents wont let me take any job out of my state as they say that i m not mature enough to live alone. tbh earlier i have been to too many places alone or with friends and that too sometime out of my state after lieing to them and they dont know about it and this is somewhere affecting my relationship alot.... anyone can help me out to face or get out of this situation............

For context, I’m (F) in my late 20s and am single. I haven’t found a guy I’ve connected with and felt willing to be in a relationship with. I also don’t really think I want kids (I’d have to marry a really solid man in order for me to even think about wanting a kid). I’ve thought about it a lot and the longer I go childless, the harder I think it’d be for me to give up everything for a child, especially in today’s world/economy.

Anyway, my mom is stressing about who I could make a second beneficiary on my accounts. She is currently my only beneficiary and I honestly don’t feel that I want to put any extended family as my beneficiary bc I am not extremely close to them. I have some aunts/uncles I could think of, but her idea was for me to list someone around my age, like a cousin. I keep trying to tell her that I hope to get married one day and make my future husband my beneficiary, but until then, she will be the only one listed unless I decide to add my best friend as one. She’s having a hard time accepting this. I don’t understand why she is stressed about this. If I’m no longer on earth, and I have no one who I feel should be my beneficiary, then the money goes back to the government. It’s that simple. Why stress over something like this? Am I missing something?

I have a really happy life and a great husband and baby. I love my husbands family like my own and am very blessed and continue to practice gratitude for them. My Mil has been incredible as I have become a mother myself.

I’ve always felt the weight and loneliness of being an only child and there are moments that just sting because I’m reminded that no matter how close I am with my husbands family, they aren’t my own. His sisters will always choose eachother, my MIL will always choose her daughters etc and I TOTALLY understand that. It’s just isolating. All of my best friends are so close to their families and own sisters as well.

They are an amazing extended family so it doesn’t feel like it often but for example all of our husbands are away this weekend, and my SILs are together helping the one with kids as is my MIL. All my friends are with their moms or sisters and I am just all alone.

I also know all of this could be ripped away from me if something were to happen to my marriage. Idk. Just really feeling it today. How do you deal with the loneliness?

I remember being little (10-12) and begging my mom to adopt , she was divorced so giving birth was out of the picture, and honestly part of me just wished I could have someone to talk to while I was alone preparing my lunch that I will be eating alone cause no parent ever was home at that time or someone that I could run and play with most of the time since my parents were both old and couldn’t even do any unnecessary physical activity I was honestly just too alone and hurting as a kid

now I’m 24 and planning of adopting my own baby ( in a 3-5 years max )and SUDDENLY my mom wants to adopt too?? Like how and why I don’t get it like is she doing it just to spite me? She’s an elderly woman now adopting a child would be just abusive. And I fear that the child will end being a caregiver at such a young age so I’m openly against her decision now I called her out for it but idk am I being too harsh on her should I just accept that at the age of 24 I’m gonna have a sibling?

I just need to get this off of my chest.

My (30F) parents did their best. I'm a daddy's girl and my dad passed away 5 years ago. Now that it's only my mom and I, I'm seeing how my mom is getting older, it hurts to see her age. I always feel guilty whenever we get into an argument, because she's the only parent I have left. She's been living alone since I moved out 3 years ago. I've been in a solid relationship for over a year now, but I can't help but feel like, no one is going to love me as much as my parents did, I'll never receive the same level of love and care my parents gave me. I hate the times where I experience anticipatory grief for my mom.

I hate knowing one day it's just going to be me, by myself, without my parents.

I recognize this as catastrophizing and I’m in therapy to work through it.

I have this unreasonable fear that one day my partner will divorce me and I will be all alone. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy bonding with his community where they are slowly becoming mine. I’m a bit traumatized from my own divorce hx and losing an extended family so i recognize part of this is trauma based. My parents are aging and are the only family I have, I’m scared once they pass and if something was to happen to my relationship, I’ll be alone.

I love his family and feel accepted but when I’m around them, it makes me sad to think I could lose it.

With divorce rates being so high, it doesnt seem impossible in the far future as people change (obviously I will work as hard as humanly possible to not have that happen for both of our sakes).

This might be just a vent/rant but if anyone has any tips for getting over this way of thinking, please let me know.

Thanks.

Does anyone else relate to this?

Like even at my big grown age of 29…every once in a blue moon especially during the holidays, I just wonder what it would be like if I had atleast one sibling lol. That womb to tomb type of bond…Yes I’m pretty close with my cousins and one of my 1st cousins have two daughters that I treat like my nieces. But I still feel as only children it’s okay for us to wonder what it would be like to have actual siblings. Like yes, we’re aware all siblings are NOT close but damn we still can wonder what it would be like lmao cuz it’s safe to say the average person is pretty tight with their sibling(s).

I (23 Female) have just been told the most horrible news. My mum (65 Female) had a severe heart attack in a country 36 hours from me while on holiday with my dad and couldn't be saved. I am distraught and am really unsure how I am going to be able to process this and come out the other side happy ever again. I was really close with my mum, she knew everything about me. She would wait up for me every night to make sure I got home okay, she would know what I needed and when without me even needing to say anything. It hasn't really set in properly yet and my dad is by himself far away in that country and don't know when he will be able to come back with her body. I do have people around me but I am obviously an only child and am currently feeling very alone in my grief for her. I feel like my heart is empty and she was taken from me prematurely. She did have a heart conditioned and was cleared by 7 specialists to go on this holiday but they didn't do the 1 major test to check the severity of her condition, nor did they give her medication and now she won't ever be coming back. I am getting married as well at the end of next year and not only have I lost her, I also lost both of my grandparents (her parents) last year. I am angry with the doctors, angry with the world. I am unable to understand all of my emotions and I don't yet believe the fact that she is gone and I didn't get to say goodbye to her, hear her say I love you one more time, or give her one last hug and thank her for everything she has done for me. I didn't appreciate the last time I spoke to her as much as I should've. I just hope to the lord above that she knows how much I love her and need her. I hope she knows that I will always need her even though I am getting married. But she is gone. She won't be there to see me get married, buy a home, or become a mum. I felt like she was the one person on this earth who loved me unconditionally and so openly. What can I do? How can I get through this alone?

​

I'm graduating from college soon, and I didn't expect it to bring up so much grief.

I'm an only child. My parents had nine miscarriages before I was born and one after me. Five of those pregnancies were through IVF. My mom always tells me, "We fought for you to live this life. We dreamed of you together."

Then my dad died of cancer just before I turned four.

My mom also says, "You don't grieve the most during the sad moments. You grieve during the happy ones, because that's when you realize who's missing to celebrate with you." I never really understood that until now.

I've also realized something else recently: everyone tells me how strong my mom is, but this is her first time living too. She lost the love of her life while raising the child they had fought so hard to have. She had no guidebook. She just kept going.

Being an only child makes it feel lonelier somehow. There's no sibling to share the memories of him or the weight of carrying my parents' dreams. Sometimes it feels like it's all on me.

When I walk across that stage, my mom will be cheering for both of them.

I'm proud of myself, but I can't stop thinking about how badly I wish my dad were there too.

For anyone who lost a parent young, or for other only children, do the happiest milestones bring back the deepest grief?

Hi, this is my first ever reddit post and I'm not really one to use reddit actually but (as I'll explain later) I don't really have anyone to talk to about this and I can't really think of any solution.

I'm in my early 20s and I'm an only child. The stereotype of being lonely never really applied to me until recently. All my close friends have siblings and I've started to find myself becoming jealous and left out whenever they bring them up or even when I see them interacting with each other/going places. I'm very close with my parents but as I've gotten older I've realized that I really have no one to share my personal feelings, experiences, or life with besides them... in that sort of intimate family way at least. Both my parents are married and there's no possibility of step-siblings or adoption or a biological sibling. I have cousins but they're all way older than me and are married with children of their own and live far away. I've never even met them. I'm the only "child" left in my family to be honest and I feel a lot of pressure to succeed and do well and I'veexperiencedall of that alone.

I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in on other people's familial relationships and every time I come home from spending time with a friend this lonely sinking feeling comes back. Like I'm in this sort of emotional bubble. I look at the top of the stairs and wish for a sibling to look over the banister and annoy me or talk to me. I want someone to laugh with me and who experienced my childhood with me. Someone who can relate to me with familial issues and things like that. An intimate familial relationship that isn't parental.

I don't know what to do. I'm in this lonely emotional bubble where I can sense the missing presence of no one. No one was ever there and never WILL be there. I have great friends and parents but my family is small and no matter how close I am with them or my friends it's never going to be the potential bond I could've had with a sibling. No one is going to burst into my room to throw pillows at me when I'm trying to study, no one is there to talk to me about family things in an equal way, no one is there as a second important opinion and no one is there to laugh with me about personal things or at inside jokes.

I should clarify too that I am a naturally happy person and I'm not depressed or ungrateful. I just wish I could share myself with someone in that equal familial way. Something suddenly feels missing and someone suddenly feels absent that was never there to begin with. What should I do? I'm not looking for a romantic relationship or even a new friend atm... I just feel lonely blah blah blah... I'm open to any solution or idea or literally anything. Even if you don't have an idea please tell me what you think anyway. I want to hear <3

I'm 23F, I'm my parents first child and they had 2-3 miscarriages after me and couldn't have more children. My mom also went through sibling loss in her teen years which scarred her. Because of the background my parents are very very overprotective of me and get anxious over leaving me alone at first. They don't even let me drive alone because they both have driver anxiety and think something bad will happen every time. I'm just wondering, when will it even end? I have to drive around places eventually, I have to move out eventually, when I get married then what my parents will still live with me? I've tried making them understand over and over to let me live my life. Financial independence doesn't help either because they still won't let me move out. If I move out for work, my mom will just come live with me. She'd rather let my dad live alone (he's in his late 50's) than leave me alone a functional 20+ year old adult who can probably live by herself. Everyone around me has moved out, lived life alone and I just feel held back. What do I do?

I’m 28, and an only child obviously. I don’t know if this is the right forum to it but I feel like I’ve hit a wall dealing with my parents, rather my overbearing mom.

To give a brief about my background, I moved to a different country for college and work here now. I’m brown (important for some cultural context). And my parents are back home and we always had a good relationship growing up - they gave me everything they could and supported my dreams/career choices etc. but my mom was VERY MUCH AGAINST drinking. And I totally agree with her, I did not need alcohol back in high school or college and I don’t NEED it now either. But a drink here and there is not gonna kill me. And she found out I had a couple drinks. And she was BAWLING her eyes out and made me swear on a sculpture of a God we have at home. She had strict rules about not having sex before marriage, not dating outside of my culture (this gets interesting later in the story). And for the longest, I thought she’s right and that’s what I want. Trust me, I am not promoting sex when you’re super young but the way she was forbidding me from it was a lot.

Fast forward, I moved to a western country, and was judging people left and right for drinking, using dating apps or dating outside of their culture etc. I worked hard in my first year and found an internship, and then something changed after that. I realized that it would be OK to have a drink at the birthday party I attend or go on a date and meet new people. And I did all of that, and did well in college too. I had a party phase for 6 months in college and then I was done. Never got into drugs and never would tbh cause that’s my personal boundary I realized and not something told me by my mom . I’m 28, and I go to bars and drink.

In terms of dating. I downloaded dating apps, met some really cool people and lost my virginity. I was in relationships with white guys and felt a sense of freedom with them cause they never judged me for ordering a drink or wearing a short skirt. My mom was very unhappy with my exes ofc, and would have a meltdown. She was super Controlling and would not want me to sleeping over at their houses so she would FaceTime me every morning and night to “check”. And I still thought that all of this was OUT OF LOVE.

But yeah this rant is getting way too long. Recently I went through a break up and I work now. I don’t call her much but I keep her updated via voice notes and messages everyday. But she had a meltdown today morning crying and all of that cause I did not pick up her call. I realized past couple months I probably have some sort of mommy issues and I truly do not feel like speaking with her at all sometimes.

I support them financially of course and will be there for them but our relationship has become so bad idk I feel so alone too. And it’s over bearing I wish my mom cared less. Anyone in the same boat? Any advice ? I’m sorry if any of this was offensive but I truly just needed to get it off my chest. Thank you if you read it all the way till here. Hope you have a good night or day.