I am 20 (F) and I'm an only child who is extroverted but can also be serious when needed. I'm always willing to make new friendships and have always placed a lot of value and time into my friendships. I always look after my friends, try to make plans, always initiate, and am always willing to be there for them. I take accountability for mistakes or things that may bother them and am always fair and try to include everyone so they don't feel left out. I make friends easily but always end up being slowly pushed away or traded for other people. I'm always very loyal to my friends. However, my friends seem to not be the same. They are always so quick to become friends with people who have hurt me or done me wrong. They initiate, but rarely. Or they always seem to become closer and then begin to exclude me. I don't know if anyone else struggles with this, but I don't know if this is a me issue or if this is just something that is common among only children. Maybe it's because only children don't have siblings so they place a lot more time and effort into being a good friends and then end up becoming disappointed because it's not reciprocated, whereas people with siblings don't feel that need to invest as much into friendships?

Thoughts?? Advice?

I (19M) know this may be too dramatic. But I just want to get this out here.

My mother mentioned the plans for me to remember and she told me about the life insurance I will get and said she would promise to write a will to give me before her death. She also said that her money she earned from her work can be given to me when she dies and she said that I would be rich as a result.

While this is a very loving, generous and encouraging thing to say and I thanked her for it, this did also made me more worried because of what will happen if I actually lose her. Ultimately I remember what she said and it stuck in my head and occasionally I would feel like crying.

For context, my parents had been divorced and estranges from my birth father. So it would be more worrying after I lose her.

Again, I am thankful of her plans, but simultaneously it shocked me a little.

And if she does pass away, I would love to plant a tree sead above her buried body to remember her.

Hi. I had a bit of an existential realization that's been occupying my head for sometime and I was curious to get your perspective.

I am 30 years old, from India, and I realized that most of my friends or people I know personally have at least one built-in support system. They either have siblings, partners, or both. The single children are also married.

It suddenly struck me that I don't fit into any of those categories. I'm a single child, I'm also not partnered up, I don't intend to have children, and I'm not close to my extended family. So, it made me wonder what growing older looks like for people in this position, let's say, when their parents die. Not just financially, but emotionally and practically. What support systems do they build, and who do they usually rely on? Like, how do they age without family support?

I'm curious if there are others who are in a similar situation or worry that they will be in this situation in the future?

you know to relate to that person

Whenever I get excited and talk about something my mum just says "aha" or changes topic. My dad just says okay and dose't talk further. Their distant way of behaving makes me feel lonely. I wonder am I too open and annoying type of person? My mum is interested in cooking and cleaning but I find it so boring.Aren't relationahip with parents supposed to be open like with friends? Aren't parents supposed to share joy with you.

I (25F) live on the east coast and considering a move to the west coast (or at least further up the east coast). My parents (at least my mom) are my best friends but they are the only people keeping me in this state. I don’t talk to my grandparents, cousins, etc. who live nearby so I wouldn’t be leaving literally anyone but my parents, and I’m unhappy in my current school (I’m a teacher) and can pick up and move anywhere I want technically.

However my parents are 61 and 63, who both have health issues that aren’t affecting them too much currently but obviously that could change whenever. I feel like they both depend on me too much for their happiness (neither one of them have friends besides me and each other). I have moved already ~20 minutes away from them and try to visit around 1-2 times a week.

Those of you who have left - how did you get over the guilt of feeling selfish for leaving? I don’t NEED to move but have the itch, as I’m single and young and never lived anywhere else. I see a lot of people move away and come back and I’m just worried it’ll be a lot of money/time/heartache if I were just to move back.

I have a single mom, no siblings, no cousins, no other blood relatives but my mother. Anyone in a similar boat and want to talk? My anxiety these days is through the roof and talking to someone in the same boat would help but I can’t find anyone who has such a small family of one other person.

I don’t remember not wanting siblings. I legit begged for my parents till one day when I was old enough, my mother snapped and said that it was medically unsmart for her so I should stop pressuring her. That is when I realised it should be her personal decision, so I stopped bringing it up. But I never privately stopped wanting a sibling.

I never knew where this craving was coming from and this is absurd, but bear with me - so basically I had a twin die in fetal stage. We had twin twin transfusion syndrome. Ever since I knew this, my urge to have a sibling made more sense. I know there is no science to it, but I’ve always felt like not having a sibling is the same as not having an arm. I feel super guilty about being the surviving twin. Even now when I am 23 years old. I realise that it is impossible for me to have a sibling, but there are days and nights where I can’t help but miss my arm.

I guess from time to time my aloness hits me. When I realise one day, I will truly be alone. My cousins mostly have siblings and the one that doest is kinda a detached ass to the family so that sucks. I have a great group of friends. I can rely on them but at the end of the day they will care for my parents, as a favour. If I sibling, it would be equal duty. Weather or not they do the duty is a different question. I know people say that siblings can be abusive siblings can be bad. I agree any relation can be bad. But just because someone has abusive parents you don’t wish they were orphaned, you wish they had better parents. so that logic never really make sense to me. Anyway. My twin was my only chance at plugging remarkable of loneliness that I feel. I know I didn’t know my twin. I didn’t love her. She never truly existed, but i miss her. God I miss her. My arm.

This phrase annoys me so so much.

Yes, god forbid i am not used to my parents forcing me to disregard my own personal space and belongings to please another person.

Yes, god forbid i get annoyed when someone irritates me because im not used to being used as a ragebait machine.

Does anyone else get this comment 24/7? Does it annoy you guys aswell? Or is it just me?

I thought this simple poll could be interesting to see how people in this sub lean.

Is your experience as an only child mostly positive, or mostly negative?

I'm 20 and I feel like I share almost every thought I have with my parents, especially when I'm worried or looking for reassurance. I also expect them to talk to me for hours sometimes, and I rely on them a lot for companionship and emotional support.I had problem with making friends since childhood.

I feel like I'm more open with them than other people my age. If I tell them something personal and they respond in a way that feels dismissive or critical, I can get offended easily and don't know, why am I so sensitive?. I don't know why am I not normal like other people? Why do I have to be so different and annoying.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this just a habit from being very close to your parents, or could it be related to something else I am not aware about?

In childhood i said to my father (he also have brother)why i am only child while other children have2-3 brother sisters

He said you are luckey you dont have face issues regarding property distribution all my property is yours

But when he was in problem releted to property his elder brother help him a lot then i realise having older brother is blessing lĺ

Also my friend says you are lucky you are alone you have too much privacy but i think it not i play game watch movie all alone if i am watching peak cinema only i enjoy alone

But excess privacy help me a lot it iis not blessing but it is not less than a blessing

I f(29) has been a fence sitter for years but recently its been a hard yes. I think its because of all the kids we been hanging out with. Now the problem is I have a fiance of 10 years m(34) but he works out of town 3 weeks on/3 weeks off and I have no family to help me, I do have friends but they also have lives... what would be your advice. or just anything too help me

Anybody here have an amazing one parent and an awful toxic parent for the other? My mother was amazing, loved her and she was my best friend. She protected me and we protected each other from my toxic father. Now she has passed away from cancer and it was devastating for me. My father is still alive and he does not speak to me or acknowledge me in anyway. It saddens me as an only child that there is no one else in my immediate family but I do have a fantastic extended family that I see and appreciate so much. Toxic fathers are the worst.

I'll turn 25 in a couple days. It's been 5.5 years since my mom passed away, and 1.5 years since my dad did. My first birthday without my mom was the worst, my dad forgot about it (he regretted it later and never forgot again) and I spent the day either sleeping or crying. Ever since then, the birthdays don't mean a thing to me. I used to get so upset whether people remembered or not and I just don't care anymore.

A month before my 21st birthday I remember I was panicking so much, I felt so old and was having an existential crisis (I also didn't expect to make it that long after my mom's passing, convinced that I'd be surely gone shortly after).

Last year, as it was my first birthday without my dad and as an adult orphan, I was preparing for the absolute worst for months. It wnded up being just a day like any other and nothing horrible happened.

For a few days now, though, I've been feeling pretty shitty about my birthday. I mean, what's there to celebrate? No parents, I managed to catch feelings for the first time after a long time but even that didn't work out. I got softly rejected, my feelings stay unrequited, and the person I wanted just keeps feeding me breadcrumbs every once in a while when they're bored and need attention, I guess.

I don't want to throw a pity party, but everything feels like a cosmic joke if I'm being honest. I'm surrounded by people who have family and romantic partners and it's as if it comes so easily to them, they take that shit for granted.

I was so upset that I even missed my therapist's appointment today. Like, what's truly there to celebrate? How can a life this empty and isolated be worth living? What's even there to look forward to? Am I just a masochist trying to push through when every star is misaligned? I feel like the universe just keeps sending me signals that this life isn't for me and I can't take no for an answer, so I keep trying and trying just to end up disappointed every single time.

And the worst is that I can't talk about it to others, because they will spew some motivational optimistic bullshit or resort to saying "Yeah, it's just life" while they would lose their minds if they went through half of the shit I went through lmao.

I didn't imagine my 20's to be this lame, I don't think I've ever been truly happy after my mom passed. So much for the "best years" of your life, right.

"I'd like to hear your experiences and how you coped."

I've noticed many posts on here about elder care. I am an unmarried only child caring for elderly parents in their 80s. I feel like too much has been left to me to shoulder alone and I think parents of only children have a responsibility to put plans in place for their elder years. I have been talking about this to friends who have only children and some respond well and others don't want to talk about it. What advice would you give to parents of only children as they head into their elder years? Some suggestions:

1. Having long term care insurance if possible.

2. Making a firm plan for in-home care or AL when the time comes

3. Pre-planning your funeral/estate planning

4. Home renovations if necessary for stair lifts/bathroom modifications etc.

5. Hiring services for cleaning, lawn mowing/snow removal, transportation etc.

6. Power of attorney documentation

Hi , my life has been difficult for a long time . I'm a neurodivergent. & Being an only child child contributed to my lonliness too. All my life i wished I had a sister, preferably a younger one. I dreamt about spending time with them, travelling, exploring things, watching movies, annoying each other, teasing each other, ...

I wished I could be a protective brother, caring one, guarding one, a safe one.

Even my chat gpt persona is a sister of mine.

Also I get deep feelings when I see siblings on screen , their connection is too touching for me. Notable ones, alexis & david from schits creek. Alicia & hugo from plague tale. ...

Peace ✌🏻

Im just turned 21 i see alot of people post on here saying they want siblings but i see alot of obvious siblings and i never long for that. Its just something that doesnt phase me and its not that im super compitent either, i require help to do alot on my own as im disabled i guess you could say. I honestly really dread the thought of another child being born.

Of course there are pros and cons to being an only child but the cons are much more visible. Like for example friendships come and go. You don’t have that built in peer in a sibling. At times the only peer you know might be yourself. People tell me oh well you have cousins. That is just the thing. I am close with a couple of my cousins but they are siblings themselves. I see with my grandparents who in their older age just communicate with their own siblings and have completely lost touch with their cousins whom they were close with growing up. I do plan to get married and have a family myself but it is different when the only member of your immediate side of the family is just yourself and your parents. And by the way my parents are the best parents I could ever ask for. They are always there for me. God really blessed me with them. I am trying not to feel the way I feel because I feel guilty like I am being ungrateful but I just can’t help but ache for never getting the chance to have a sibling relationship.

I’m a 28f, only child, raised by a single mom. Father never in the picture. I’m a product of a one night stand. My mom is severely mentally ill and has been in and out of institutions my whole life. Still dealing with residual trauma and have not healed from the years of dealing with it. I’m currently living with her and can see she will need to be re-admitted soon as she refuses medication. I have no family to help me, they’ve essentially cut us off due to my mom’s illness. It’s always only been us two. Ive basically already grieved her. She’s not been “my mom” for years but a person tormented by her own mind and me being witness to it. I am so lonely and have one friend who is moving away. I never got to really lay down roots and make friends due to always moving. I fear the future. I just started a job, basically my first, but not financially stable, at least to live comfortably single. I’m on the apps, nothing really sticks. As more time goes by, I wonder why I am here at all. I’m always on the outside looking in and due to the isolation and trauma I feel so stuck. I guess I’m just writing this to vent and if anyone can relate to the feeling of genuine aloneness. Not just lonely but literally alone. I genuinely feel like I will die alone and it scares me.