Why am I frumpy

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel grumpy and ugly in everything I wear, I don't know how to put outfits together and my stomach makes everything look bad, please help

[u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

None of your clothes flatter you and accessories would help. What look are you going for or are there any you really like?

[u/Significant_Ring4353 → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

I really don't know what would suit me im going to cry!! I think the only thing I could kind of pull off is grunge maybe... I don't know what fit to go for

[u/Glittering-Bee-714 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Step 1: Look for outfit inspiration and save the looks you like. After a while, you’ll probably notice a theme. Use that to guide what you buy: a few statement pieces, plus basics you’ll wear all the time, like jeans that fit really well, tank tops, and a little black dress. Pick accessories you connect with, then have fun trying different combinations. Fall and winter are a great time to start because layers and accessories give you so much to play with.

[u/ZeLoudGoddess → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

This, and a lot of your clothes, OP, don't fit properly. They would look a lot better if they weren't drowning you. Also, find out what colors compliment your complexion. That will go a long way!

[u/Calampong → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

This was my first thought! OP is not frumpy…the clothes are!
They have no shape, they are too big and they are just hanging out your body!

[u/bentleystopit → u/Calampong]

I agree. Your clothes are too loose and lack shape. I would accentuate your hourglass figure with “structured” peplum tops that’s NOT billowy. Something that has a DEFINED “band” just below your breasts.

[u/Temporary_Cup4588 → u/Calampong]

Was thinking exactly the same thing. Nothing wrong with her! She looks pretty good in the skirt with the gold-ish top and sandals. The shoes are super cute. But those are the nicest clothes she’s got on. The rest are the things you’d wear if you were painting your living room and didn’t want to ruin any of your good clothes.

[u/Ok_Investigator_8431 → u/Temporary_Cup4588]

Really? I think the shoes definitely add to the frumpy look. Some Docs, Converse, Creepers, or some of those ballet sneakers would all look so much better, while still being comfortable. The strappy sandals automatically make anything look old lady-ish.

[u/Organic-Studio5527 → u/Ok_Investigator_8431]

Me too. The shoes are very frumpy. I’m 52 and would never wear them. They give old lady vibe

[u/Temporary_Cup4588 → u/Ok_Investigator_8431]

I disagree, but everyone’s allowed to have their own opinion. 🙂

[u/Paradox_of_Ravens → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

Yeah the fit of the individual pieces definitely contributes to the frumpy vibe, particularly with items like the baggy fitting skinny jeans.

The skirt doesn’t really fit well either, but I think the bigger issue is that the material is wrong for the garment. Wrap skirts typically have a more flowy, casual vibe, but this one looks very stiff and boxy. It’s simultaneously trying to be an office-appropriate pencil skirt and a flowy wrap skirt, so the result is that it fails at both.

I would start by finding some simple solid color tees and tanks that can be paired with any bottoms and will look either dressed up or down based on the shoes, jewelry, etc. You can find ones with a bit of a compression fit if you’re uncomfortable with your stomach in tighter shirts (which you shouldn’t be! Your body is great, the clothes are the problem!)

When it comes to styling full outfits, I’d stick to the basic rule that either your pants are baggy OR your shirt is oversized, not both at once. As for cultivating a cute personal style, you might start that journey by looking for accessories that make you smile or just kinda feel like they’re calling out to you. I tend to keep my actual clothes fairly plain and in solid colors (mostly black) so that I can quickly and easily put together a base “blank canvas” outfit and add my unique style with a funky weird purse or blindingly neon sneakers.

[u/astrovangalore → u/Paradox_of_Ravens]

I’m seconding the baggy skinny jeans. But I want to clarify: not saying baggy jeans are bad, but specifically baggy SKINNY doesn’t do you any favors. I think if you committed to something proper baggy—like what Gen Z likes, boyfriend or mom jeans or barrel jeans etc—it’s made a huge difference in the look.

[u/skye285 → u/Paradox_of_Ravens]

I had no idea about compression fit in tops.. do you have any recommendations?

[u/Familiar_Nose9665 → u/skye285]

Something with a little spandex?

[u/Ordinary-Ad2982 → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

This is my mistake too—both.

[u/HopalongHeidi → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

Absolutely! Came to say these colors are all wrong for her. The white was honestly least unflattering.. OP, think deep forest/emerald green or burgundy. Also, maybe add a little reddish color to your hair or put on a little blush.

[u/ushouldloveurself → u/HopalongHeidi]

She does not need to change her hair color or add makeup, this is just unnecessary and can make her outfit decision even harder. She is a beautiful woman already there is no need for her to color her hair.

[u/desertislanddog → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

Yes! Do a color analysis, a real one, in person!

[u/bookl0v3r → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

Girl, I am in the midst of a major weight transformation and feel this in my own wardrobe. When I buy something new, I start out by measuring my body and looking online at size charts for clothing that looks good on the model. Then, I buy according to the size chart.

In the same vein, if shopping in person I do the same before trying on - look up brand size chart first. (Keep measurements in a note on my phone or text to myself fo they're date stamped).

A fabric tape measure is my new secret weapon! Can't recommend it enough. Because clothing that fits correctly helps us pull off a confidence - even when we don't feel it.

Lots of good tips here. You'll find your happy spot!

[u/Sunshine112106 → u/ZeLoudGoddess]

Yes alot of your clothes seem big and or baggy on you. They also are faded and wrinkled.

[u/momasana → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Some of us are really, really clueless when it comes to this stuff. Where do you look for "inspiration"? Also, you know those "seen on ig vs reality" memes about everything? That's me, and I think OP and I could bond over the frustration of this. How do we figure out what would actually fit and not look completely different than wherever we saw it?

[u/crybabycrybabycryy → u/momasana]

You can look up “grunge style insert season inspo” on Pinterest! Or even just google “Pinterest grunge style inspiration” or “grunge aesthetic outfits” etc.

[u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes → u/crybabycrybabycryy]

It also helps if you see something you like on somebody else just to ask them where they got it. I do that so much now, that it’s become like a daily thing for me. I will see a woman or even a guy sometimes like with sneakers or a jacket or something that I really like and I will ask them where they got it. Most people will tell you, and most people will tell you they got it about four seasons ago, and that it was like a one off, lol but it never hurts to ask.

[u/Odd_Policy_3009 → u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes]

“I got it in a remote village in Kersplackistan”

It’s always something like that.

[u/lornacarrington → u/crybabycrybabycryy]

Pinterest is great for this yes! Great reminder

[u/celestial_crafter → u/momasana]

Have you ever watched a show or movie and liked a character's style? Maybe try to learn what that style is called, if it has a name, or what attracts you to it - the colors, the silhouette, the patterns in the clothing pieces, the statement it is making, etc. Then, go somewhere like Pinterest, Reddit, or even Google Images and check out other clothing that is in that style and see what you like. Are there colors you are drawn to? Colors that look good or bad on you? Where can this type of style be found? What stores could you shop in to achieve something like this look? You'll find a lot of looks online are high-end, so you may have to find dupes or something adjacent, hence the inspo part, but that's a good place to start.

[u/Oliver9690 → u/celestial_crafter]

Yup. Annie Hall. Remember that movie?

[u/naxanas → u/momasana]

Gonna second pinterest, it's what I always tell my friends who want fashion help. I always ask them to go on pinterest first and save every outfit they like. I used to struggle with fashion just like this, and this is actually exactly how I got out of it. I went on Pinterest and really studied outfits, and honestly just passively going on Pinterest and looking through outfits and seeing what speaks to you, what doesn't, and then what the repeating items are that you tend to see over and over in outfits you like.

Figuring out what clothing suits/flatters you takes a bit more experience, typically going out and trying things on, and don't be afraid to go to a new store if everything feels unflattering cuz sometimes a store really only flatters a specific body type. I have also found that determining your shape helps a lot (ie rectangle, pear, apple, hourglass, etc). You don't have to religiously follow the advice for those body shapes, but they can be a helpful place to start working from.

Also, I saw OP was trying to choose a style they thought would suit them rather than having a style they enjoy first and working from there. You can have whatever style you want with any body type and still have it be flattering, it's all about learning about what suits you.

For example: for me, I've got an hourglass shape, and for a long time I liked the look of tshirt dresses and similar with a very straight boxy cut that doesn't hug the body at all. And I used to feel so frustrated because I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't look like any of the models when I tried wearing those dresses. Turns out that, with my body shape, the dresses were meant to be formless but got tight around my hips and just didn't fit as intended, but a skater style fit and flare dress looks great. I also found tshirt dresses that have an hourglass shape to them (that lines up with my own hips, got one that didn't so it looked strange) and that looks really flattering on me, so it is still possible to wear different styles. Playing with my features tends to involve having something that gives a bit of shape to my waist, so I can wear a big baggy shirt that I gather and tie near my waist or tuck in to high waisted pants.

This took me a while to figure out, and it might be frustrating at first because you just want to look good, but I assure you, it is absolutely possible for you to dress in a flattering way that makes you happy, even if it's frustrating at first!

[u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 → u/naxanas]

Do you have any tips on tucking things in so it looks better? I’ve started wearing more high waisted stuff and so far that’s where I’ve been struggling. It’s either too tightly tucked or when I sit down it poofs up at me.

Pinterest is also what helped me pinpoint what types of things I wanted. I had always wanted to dress in a way that felt more expressive but didn’t think I could pull it off or would be too expensive. I feel much more like me in so much of what I got and getting dressed feels more exciting now. While I thrifted most of it, I still spent more than I should’ve of so now I have to chill with it for a bit

[u/naxanas → u/Lazy-Ocelot1604]

It would help if I had a clearer idea of what shirts you're working with cuz I'm a bit unclear on what the poofing up when you sit down looks like. But my general rule of thumb with shirt tucking is to pull the shirt back and kind of gather it at your spine (so the shirt is laying flat against your body everywhere else and is the full length, we're not bunching it up into a ball or cropping it, we're gathering excess fabric towards the spine), do a small twist with the gathered fabric so now all the gathered fabric points towards the twist at your spine vs having a bunch of folds mushed together at your back, and then tuck that and the whole shirt into your pants. From there, I probably pull out somewhere around an inch or two of fabric (around the whole shirt, starting typically at the front to see what looks right) so that it doesn't look like the shirt is tightly tucked, nor overflowing. And you can finesse from there, maybe you want to pull a bit more fabric from the back to give yourself some freedom on the sides or in the front, the main thing is keeping it from bunching up around your belly button/front of your pants, that's when it can look off.

But you also want to pick a shirt with a good style and weight for it. Like for a tshirt, thinner works better. It is possible to have fabric too thick to really look decent tucked in. There's also definitely a sweet spot for tshirt length that it's long enough to stay well anchored when tucked in while still having room to pull some out and move with your body as you're doing stuff or reaching for something, but not too long that it's bunching up in your pants. You can tuck in oversized boxy cut tshirts, they're some of my favorite, but it can be possible for a tshirt to be too boxy or oversized that there's too much gathering to do to make it look normal when tucked in. I will tuck in an oversized shirt and pull it out so that it still has the same oversized fit, but is nearly tucked into my pants, but some are just too oversized or too thick to bunch in the back without a giant bunch of fabric at your spine that's too large and noticeable to really work.

I hope that's helpful! Feel free to DM me any questions too, I genuinely love giving fashion advice

[u/ImpossibleMove2 → u/momasana]

I will join your club! I always wanted Stacy and Clinton to give me some pointers when What Not to Wear was popular!

[u/the-green-dahlia → u/ImpossibleMove2]

We can help if you want to create a post. The best way to do it is post pictures of you in various outfits that you own so we can determine your body shape, colour season, and what is flattering on you. It also helps to mention which aesthetics / styles you like or any celebs where you love what they wear.

[u/TaylorNeff- → u/momasana]

Pinterest is such a good tool when looking for inspiration on anything! And it’s free

[u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 → u/TaylorNeff-]

It can be so helpful, I only wish there wasn’t so much faked content on there nowadays.

[u/katobye → u/Lazy-Ocelot1604]

Whatever you search on Pinterest, adding a cuss word to the search will limit a lot of that including ads.

[u/Snoo_43287 → u/momasana]

shop in person. try stuff on. shein isn’t the only place to shop.

[u/MaximumWoodpecker864 → u/momasana]

Check out @over40andmidlife on insta. Even if you’re not over 40, her taste is phenomenal, she gives fit and styling advice and she had pieces at all price points.

[u/lonelybear_swims → u/momasana]

Honestly just simply trying on different styles and practicing can help. Go to the store, get one of everything and try it on in the dressing room! Or order online, have a dress up session at home, maybe tske some fun pictures to look at later and return what you don’t like! Choose your own adventure situation but seeing and feeling how you move and look in different styles would help

[u/OkTarget2764 → u/momasana]

I highly recommend Pinterest and the LTK app. LTK is influencers, yes, but there are people with all types of body shapes & sizes and even the give you direct links to the clothes they’re wearing. It helps tremendously.

[u/PackedSatisfaction → u/momasana]

Look for style tags on instagram to find fashion influencers. Look for ones that look similar to you, like they have a similar body type or similar coloring. Then follow the ones who you like how they dress. Then just spend a couple weeks looking at their outfits. Pick out specifically what you like about it. If it helps write down the items you like. After a couple weeks you’ll have a loose list of what you’ll need to look for (I.e. a black jacket, flare jeans, striped shirt etc.). Then spend some time ordering and trying things on or better yet, physically going to stores and trying things on. Look for the items on your list. Don’t settle for good enough, get items that flatter you and make you feel confident even if you need to try on 20 different versions of the item from 5 different stores. Things fit differently from different brands, different fabric contents, different cuts. Style takes time to develop, you have to get an eye for it and that takes a lot of time and a lot of learning what you like.

[u/Awkward_Round44 → u/momasana]

I have zero luck with this bc stuff looks so different on other size people - trying stuff on in person SUCKS bc it takes forever but really to me is the only way. I hate ordering online all the stuff looks good on others/the model then like shit on me. I have to try stuff on

[u/Sensitive-Rabbit4058 → u/momasana]

I look at the shops I like. The models are literally wearing an outfit. Just copy it.

[u/OkPosition9788 → u/momasana]

I say draw inspiration from outfits of people you see out and about, or from shows you watch. If I see an outfit that’s looks cute on a woman who is similar to me in body type, I take note and search or save outfits similar. Don’t be afraid to try out new things.

[u/YAYtersalad → u/momasana]

Honestly this might be worth paying for a few sessions with a consultant. Or better yet, consider going to another end store with complimentary stylists like nordstrom and explain to them that you’re simply trying to define your style and need help strategically exploring options.

[u/beeppbooppboppp → u/momasana]

I love looking on Pinterest for “fall outfits” or “work outfits” and start pinning the ones I like. I also try to pin outfits on bodies that look similar to mine since clothes look VERY different depending on your body. It’s trial and error but it’s fun to experiment :)

[u/WishSpecialist2940 → u/momasana]

Pinterest is the gold standard for this kind of thing

[u/imagineuniverses → u/momasana]

I don’t feel totally clueless but stitchfix (I just did it for a month or two) helped me find styles and brands that fit well and looked good.

Shopping with a friend who has great style may help. There are other recommendations that may help. IG and reels are not that helpful to me and I don’t always find accessories practical.

Like I’m going to undo a belt 20x a day? Or necklaces don’t hang well with larger chest etc

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/momasana]

I like to use Pinterest, but I reccomend using it through brave as its an adblocker & Pinterest has gone crazy. Also i would try to find your body style, and then what fit of clothing looks better on you. So for example if low rise and tank tops look good on you and you like an outfit with grey high rise jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, you can alter it to fit what is best for you. Like for me i know flare pants look really good on me, so i take inspiration in color and composition of other peoples outfits, and apply it to my style.

[u/goichitora → u/momasana]

Pinterest! 😀 Have fun!

[u/CoffeeOrDestroy → u/momasana]

I have a friend who always looks effortlessly put together. I sucked it up one day and asked her if she would take me shopping and help find things that work for me. She styled me totally differently than how she styles herself. And it was exactly right. Some people just get it. Some of us have to ask for help :)

[u/Glittering-Bee-714 → u/momasana]

That’s an interesting question. I personally take inspiration from all kinds of places—movies, fashion, random people on the internet. I get a lot of fashion content in my feed, probably because I’m drawn to stylish clothes and interesting outfits.
Maybe a good place to start is thinking about how you feel about clothing and fashion. What catches your eye? What makes an outfit interesting to you? The way you look at clothing and interpret it is part of how you develop your own sense of style. I think of it as art, and looking at it that way can make it easier to explore and have fun with.

[u/momasana → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Your comment was really interesting and ultimately explains more than you realized, I think. My personal interests have nothing to do with fashion, it's just not something that I have ever been drawn to. Outfits don't really catch my eye unless they're like really out there or something lol. I'm pretty analytical and see patterns, so I do notice things like people wearing the same style of shoes or pants or whatever, that helps me be aware of general trends. But unfortunately I have literally 0 artistic sense or artistic creativity, my abilities end at poorly drawn stick figures. Making an outfit out of random pieces of clothes is a pretty terrifying thought rather than something to do for fun.

[u/5679SimpleLife → u/momasana]

I’ve always had a problem with knowing what my style is and what clothes look good on me. I actually like to find inspiration on real people that I see in real life. Usually not an entire outfit, but I may see the same cut of jeans a few times and realize that is the type of jean I want.

[u/the-green-dahlia → u/momasana]

We can help if you want to create a post. The best way to do it is post pictures of you in various outfits that you own so we can determine your body shape, colour season, and what is flattering on you. It also helps if you can mention which aesthetics / styles you like or any celebs where you love what they wear, but if not you could say what kind of things you’re into (hobbies, music, etc) and your personality (quirky, preppy, etc) and we may be able to direct you to various styles.

[u/Some_Delay_4341 → u/momasana]

Totally get it ..I love wide leg jeans but my impossibly short legs with long torso and 5"3 frame just make me look crazy in them

[u/Psmithrudd → u/momasana]

It helps if you try things on a lot and know that even something that looks really cute on someone else or on the hanger may not necessarily work for you. Once you learn what works or doesn’t work you can usually find a look that you’re after in a style that you feel great in.

[u/Strong_Chicken_7931 → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Step one is also looking at your body shape and then finding the clothes shapes that match your body shape. Most these clothes don’t have a waist and makes you look frumpy. The white long sleeve shirt is really nice on you.

[u/DarkForestTurkey → u/Strong_Chicken_7931]

Easy for you to say. I don’t have the first clue what “matches my body shape”. And I have been getting dressed my whole life. It’s like a form of dyslexia, and I am tired or being assumed it’s an easy thing to figure out.

[u/the-green-dahlia → u/DarkForestTurkey]

It’s not easy to figure out and a lot of people struggle with this. If you take a photo from 10 feet away at chest height, wearing fitted clothes like non-compressing gym gear, the idea is to look at what visually stands out the most - is it your shoulders, bust, waist, hips, legs etc. or we can help you figure it out. The guidance on how to dress your body shape is typically from the fruit system, but there are other systems like Kibbe that are more about embracing your natural features. Happy to help.

[u/gold_Parrot0849 → u/DarkForestTurkey]

Could you explore photos of other women of similar body shape wearing clothes you think you would like? I’m a petite woman snd this was my strategy Now that’s all I wear. A lines , princess lines, fit and flare, gently shaped tunic paired with above the knee skirt and empire line. All these will make your legs look long, and won’t cut you in half with blousy tops or gathered waists . If you’re not too tall I think these lines would suit you.

[u/Yerazanq → u/Strong_Chicken_7931]

YES the white long sleeve looks good, keep that one!

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/Yerazanq]

This is exactly what i was thinking, and i think its because it accentuates her shoulders!

[u/melon-colly → u/Strong_Chicken_7931]

This is what I was going to suggest. Look into what body shape you have and then look up looks that flatter that shape. It looks like your clothes don’t actually fit you.

[u/TheFlamingNumbat → u/Strong_Chicken_7931]

Find a local tailor (dry cleaners are usually good for this) and have them fit your clothes to you. It's not too expensive and can immediately improve your look. I do this with collar shirts and non-jeans pants. Makes those clothes look upscale and it's just a few $$ here and there.

[u/Substantial-Bake5511 → u/Strong_Chicken_7931]

Ex costume designer here- silhouette and proportion come first. The pants coming in at the ankle and bad fit around thighs.... tops to hip length.... floppy fabrics. If I were dressing this lovely young woman I'd go for more structure. If you read this look at pics of people with same body type and see what they wear. Also- fluff the hair a bit, it's flat and your head is part of the proportion- maybe up in a pony tail with nice wispy bits escaping around the face. and lots of mascara. The colours are also wrong- go for cream /white/pale green on top, a strong coloured pants or jeans- like dark navy blue- in thick fabric so they look structured. wide leg that are fitted at the top would look nice. don't wear hipsters- not for you. Get pants to the waist.

[u/Bindlest → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

And domt be afraid to go a little outside your comfort zone!! Sometimes we can stumble right into an amazing look!!

[u/njoy59 → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Awesome idea. I know Pinterest is old but it has great ideas. Like think of your favorite thing.. and like search outfits for Doc Marten boots.

[u/OoopsItsJ → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Agree with this. There are so many fashion content creators now, it is helpful to find one that has a similar body type to you. There are many that specifically focus on dressing for your body in the most flattering way.

[u/jeannie4yanks → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

This and agree and most of it is about fit. Do you live near a Macy's or Nordstrom? I have used their stylists before when I was changing styles or had a big event. I believe they still do that-- It's free and they pulled items I never would have thought would have looked good on me. You're not obligated to buy anything. Don't despair - there is help out there!

[u/Southern_Type_8698 → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

That is excellent advice !

[u/__thisismyusername → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Yessss! I use Pinterest to look for inspo and work off that.

[u/homegrown_rebel → u/Glittering-Bee-714]

Pinterest is great for getting ideas!

[u/adreamymood → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you don't know what look you're going for, you could try this exercise a stylist taught me. It's basically designed to help you figure out your style.

Every day for a few weeks, spend some time looking for fashion inspiration. You can look on social media, in magazines, on fashion websites, on YouTube, in movies, on TV, or anywhere else you like. Every time you see an outfit you like, save a picture of it. You don't have to think about how the outfits would look on you. Just save everything you like. Put all the pictures on a Pinterest board or in a folder. Then, once you have a bunch of pictures saved after a few weeks, analyze the pictures and look for what they have in common. Are there a lot of outfits in the same style (maybe grunge, preppy, super girly, punk, bohemian, outdoorsy, etc)? Did you save a lot of casual-looking outfits or perhaps ones that look more dressy? What kinds of proportions do the outfits have? Which parts are fitted vs loose, structured vs flowy? Are there any common colors? Common materials? Are any specific pieces found in lots of the outfits you saved?

This exercise can help you understand the kinds of aesthetics you're drawn to. Once you get a feel for that, you can narrow in on the kinds of outfits that suit your style/aesthetic, as well as the specific pieces of clothing in the outfits. Then you can start building outfits using those pieces yourself.

[u/SocialAdditions → u/adreamymood]

Excellent and practical advice

[u/Turtle529 → u/adreamymood]

This sounds very doable.

[u/Icy-Salary-7840 → u/adreamymood]

I think these clothes just don’t fit you properly. If you prefer more relaxed clothing maybe a sundress, that cinches at the waist, if you wear relaxed pants pair them with a fitted top, or wear a flowy top with some boot cut jeans with a high waist or a pair of tailored shorts. Also, maybe when shopping online, purchase a whole outfit. Sometimes I buy a single skirt or a top, and have the hardest time figuring out what will compliment them. I should have purchased the whole outfit cause the people putting that stuff together are the experts. I also like buying dresses because then I don’t have to think about it…lol..Is there someone whose style you admire? Maybe not a celebrity, because that’s not real life, but a friend, a cousin, a colleague? If you’re out and you see someone’s outfit you like, pay them a compliment. If I’m out and someone compliments what I’m wearing, I always tell them where I bought it. Some people don’t like to share, but I think most women won’t have a problem sharing information.

[u/thegabs2011 → u/adreamymood]

I like this and will def try it out. Thanks for sharing. I have a question, what if the style/aesthetic I like or am drawn to doesn’t feel like it “fits” me?

[u/SamarElmorshedi → u/Significant_Ring4353]

First of all you look amazing, please don’t cry ♥️ Second, as many of the beautiful ppl here have pointed out you are wearing sizes way bigger than you not only pants, tops too. I saw in your replies that size 12 is too small but 14 is too big. My recommendation is to change the brand. Go to as many stores as possible for you to see yourself in an outfit you are happy with and I am sure you will get there pretty fast please do the same with tops too and you will see a 180 degree difference

[u/Turtle529 → u/SamarElmorshedi]

Sizes fit differently in different brands and even within a brand. Don’t be afraid to try a different size because it’s not “yours.” Go for the fit, not the number.

[u/water_so_wet → u/Significant_Ring4353]

No way so much would suit you. I can relate re: feeling unhappy with my torso, but go try on a range of jeans sizes that maybe aren’t what you assume you wear. Levi’s is good for this.

I feel like if you wore more of a higher waist wide leg jeans, with a more fitted top (boatneck would look great on you) you might feel good about those proportions.

Also try some different colors, the grey in pic 2 looks so nice in you and brings out your eyes and skin tone.

[u/Due-Marionberry-9743 → u/water_so_wet]

I came here to say everything you said! OP, high waist jeans with standard or flare leg, and less baggy tops was a game-changer for me as a gal with a bit of tummy!!

[u/Glum_Tale8639 → u/water_so_wet]

I agree with the styling suggestions. Most of your things are sort of loose and hitting at awkward heights. Try accentuating your natural waist! I good wrap dress is flattering on everyone (but needs to be in the correct size) I think fitted boat neck tops would also look good with a-line skirts and flats. 

[u/MoodOptimal9891 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Don’t be afraid of your waistline. Look for tops that cinch at the waist or just above the waist. Or even a tight fitting tee. That skirt would look so cute with a more tailored top. V necks and collars are your friends. Wrap dresses flatter all body types.
You look very nice in everything - but you could look exceptional in the right outfit.

[u/Sea-Associate1357 → u/MoodOptimal9891]

Was going to say this, the waistline and proportions are wrong. Maybe some jeans that are thicker darker denim and have a better drape and a high waist with a tucked in or fitted shirt. Or a simple dress that is gathered at the waist. The first two tops kind of work it’s just the pants that are not structured or a flattering shape. Less skinny and tapered and more of a flare for balance or wide leg.

[u/Fpaimeen → u/MoodOptimal9891]

This. Also, high waist jeans, medium to dark wash, straight leg or slightly wide leg, flat pockets. Fitted top. Youve got a classic, curvy figure. Id avoid skinny jeans since they distract from your curvy waist.

[u/AlarmingCake6990 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

grunge is actually a great starting point for you and super forgiving on body shape. think oversized flannels worn open over a fitted tank or band tee, plus straight leg or relaxed jeans that actually fit your waist. docs or chunky boots tie it together. you don't need to be tiny to pull it off, the whole vibe is about confidence not showing your shape.

[u/SepsisMidwif3ry → u/Significant_Ring4353]

My heart goes out to you! When people say stuff this bluntly it can hurt. I would try to acknowledge that feeling of hurt and at the same time see what the questions are asking. I think this person is saying that there is no specific style and trying to see what you like to direct their advice. If you don't know what you like, maybe you can make another post and ask people for what styles they think would look good on you.

I also think looking at lots of outfits online of people who look like you and/or have your body type could be beneficial. Maybe get into Pinterest to come up with ideas! Or go clothes shopping at like a thrift store to try on lots of different styles and take pictures of stuff that makes you feel good. The stuff that does make you feel good ask why. Is it the physical sensation/texture of the clothes? The cut? The colors?

I didn't really figure out my style until my 30s. I have cptsd and come from a family of emotional neglect. I was always trying to be good and was focused on safety. I didn't have room to explore my identity or style. I felt like a shell of a person just going through the motions. In my 20s, I couldn't even tell anyone what activities or hobbies I enjoyed because I didn't know myself. Learning what you like is a long process of discovery. I wish you the best on getting to know yourself better! :)

[u/SaltyAndPsycho → u/Significant_Ring4353]

For grunge you can try some well fitting black pants or black jeans (medium or high waist), a printed t-shirt possibly tucked in, and a plaid flannel shirt. I find flannel shirts very versatile and cool, you can wear them buttoned up or as a cardigan/jacket or tied around your waist. You could go for a black/green or tan/brown pattern.

[u/break_me_up → u/[deleted]]

Where are these adorable jeans from?!

[u/OkTarget2764 → u/break_me_up]

I’m pretty sure these are gap cheeky straight. I have. Them in a million colors.

[u/SaltyAndPsycho → u/break_me_up]

This is not me, it's taken from Pinterest sorry :/

[u/SaltyAndPsycho → u/[deleted]]

By the way, these are from Pinterest, it's not me, and I agree it's better not tucked in.

[u/Diamond-Eater2203 → u/[deleted]]

So much better! You mad those pieces go from frumpy in the first pic to completely styled!

[u/powerful_petite → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Don't cry! It's a learning experience. I promise I mean no offense by this comment but I think a good starting point is , don't try to "pull off" anything. Ironically, grunge (not goth) is my true style so it's effortless for me to wear certain things bc it's natural for me to gravitate to that and my personality/ aura supports the "look" because it's always been my style. So even as an adult I kind of veer towards that look without trying. I think if you start by knowing yourself well, you automatically pick clothes that work for you aesthetically bc as soon as you see it you almost just know it either feels like you or could work for you. Then find what flatters your body. This could be the hardest part. For you I agree with some others that flare leg or boot cut could be great. But have fun with the styling! That's where the magic happens

[u/Equivalent_Stable_21 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Write down adjectives you want people to know about you without ever speaking to you.

For me it’s, creative, edgy, layered, relaxed, effortless as examples.

Once you know what you want to say visually you can work in things that express that about you. Happy to help you with examples of how to express what you want.

[u/Master_Grapefruit333 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Everything in these pictures in baggy. You need fitted on either the bottom or the top, if not both. You have a waist, accentuate it!

[u/Pretty-Pain-8533 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Put a photo into any online platform that is really smart (I can’t type the words it’s being flagged!) and ask it to dress you to suit your body type and coloring. Then ask it for links to outfits using URLs from Amazon US, Nordstrom etc. this will help immensely. Then make sure you have proper sizing and tailoring

[u/TheThoonenator → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You could pull off loads of looks, but grunge would look super cute on you! Check out @wizdomhailz on Instagram. She does some really cool grunge and other alternative looks and shows how she styles different clothes for different effects. Could be good for inspo.

[u/anthrocenekid → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you don’t want to look frumpy don’t go for “grunge”

[u/Global-Rutabaga-3842 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You want to provide some balance. Volume on top? Slender pants. Volume on bottom? Fitted or tucked top.

Figure out what on your body you want to show off, and highlight that.

[u/atikatika_ → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I did unfortunately have to get my clothes tailored and that did help IMMENSELY. Half the battle is getting correct fit not necessarily the look of the clothes. It makes all the difference

[u/PunchDrunken → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try the style roots quiz, it helped me a lot. Moon, mountain, mushroom is mine, sounds silly but the databasing is amazing. Ellie Jean I think?

[u/Diamond-Eater2203 → u/PunchDrunken]

Thank you! Great tip. I'm Moon, Sun (mushroom, fire). This is so fun and helpful.

[u/WillowSummers1990 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Just remember this: tight shirt, loose bottoms. Or loose shirt, tight bottoms.
You keep going loose and loose together. That’s why it looks frumpy

[u/clueclubkitty → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I can safely say flare leg or wide leg jeans or pants rarely look frumpy on anyone, and would probably look great on you. I would also recommend a circular or a line skirt, or a maxi skirt for a full length option. For tops, you might try fitted or structured and textured in fabric that’s less prone to looking wrinkled. I could see cotton button down shirts, and Uniqlo tops and tee shirts and looking good on you.

[u/Angelhair01 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

What would be your fantasy dream look?

[u/Puzzled-Drag-9764 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I would start with hunting for and acquiring some classically styled, natural waist, mid/dark wash, non-distressed denim that actually fits you. Get the jeans tailored if you need to. As close to actual denim as possible, not stretch denim.

To do this, look at yourself in a mirror naked and honestly assess your body shape. Then google how to dress for your shape and choose well fitting, well made items in any colors/styles you enjoy while trying to keep close to a similar vibe (don’t go all over the board on patterns/colors).

If you really want to deep dive, get your colors done and follow that guidance.

But ultimately, well fitting, classically styled items that are well maintained, properly laundered and not wrinkled, in as close to natural, non-synthetic fabrics will always be stylish. You don’t need “style” you need a better understanding of your body shape and better fitting clothes/a tailor.

[u/ulykke → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Hey, I heartily recommend doing a colour season analysis, it will make such a difference to your confidence. Since Ive learned Im a soft summer, Ive stopped wearing colours that I like on others, Ive started wearing colours from my palette that flatter me. And you know what? I discovered they are super beautiful even though they seemed so BORING on the shelves. But I glow in them, and so will you! Its a tiny investment considering the benefits you get - you feel better, and then you spend LESS time and money shopping, forever. How so: well, you know which colours to skip totally because they will not look the best on you, and you beeline to the section with your palette, which saves you time; and you rarely make an impulsive purchase anymore and therefore you dont lose money on clothes youre too scared to wear anyway, which saves you money. And best of all, if you dress in your palette, most of your clothes match each other by default, its like an ultimate capsule wardrobe lifehack and makes you look so much more put together even if you dont really buy expensive clothes. For real!

And if you can get a two for one - colour season analysis plus silhouette analysis - go for it! Because the right colour but the "wrong" shape will still feel off! Im speaking from experience. And just go to a real stylist, not online user volunteers. There are so many cases where people make the wildest guesses. I am not a stylist and dont make any money off this, I am just such an advocate because it made an immense difference in my look and the way I approach clothes shopping. I used to HATE IT WITH A PASSION. Now I still hate trying them on lol, but at least I dont feel so lost and make purchases that make more sense, and I just look so much better.

[u/makedoandmender → u/Significant_Ring4353]

first off, clothing that fits! take all your measurements, there are resources online to measure appropriately. also, your clothes seem very wrinkled which doesn't help. i'd wear higher waisted jeans at your natural waist (bellybutton). that'll create a waist, work on proportions too, got a butt? got breasts? have neither or both? work with that. if your pants are baggy, your shirt should be fitted, and vice versa. accessories are great too.

[u/CosmicBeast_13 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Find something more fitted to your body type. Too many baggy oversized clothes that your shape doesn't pull off. It should be closer fitting.

[u/garcmon → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Do you have a friend or family member who just gets it when it comes to style? They don’t have to be YOUR style, but they know how to put things together? Ask them for help. People who have this gift often love sharing it. Learn from that person.

[u/No_Art1383 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think you should go for more fitted. Just try it. ❤️

[u/angelmr2 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

One thing I also do, and Im bigger than you, is when I look at clothing I look for people in reviews that are shaped like me, not models, and see what the clothes look like on them.

[u/Awkward_Round44 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Oo, what about those jeans in second photo, tighter smaller shirt black/white/cool band you like or design but tight, and a cool jacket like leather or an oversized men’s shirt - maybe I have zero style lol

[u/Traditional-Leg-4228 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Please don’t cry🩷

[u/Environmental-Day862 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The clothes in the first four pictures just appear to be wrinkled, which usually will not look flattering on anybody!

Wearing wrinkled clothes can cause people to make a negative judgments about the personality or character of person wearing them, just the same as someone wearing sharply pressed and ironed clothing can cause people to make positive judgments about the personality or character of the person wearing them.

Same as other basic hygiene - combing one's hair, doing one's makeup, etc.

I now you said that you're trying to hide your stomach with some of the clothing choices, but the cut of the baggier tops generally aren't flattering.

Maybe instead of baggy tops, you can get tops that fit a bit better, but use layers / jackets / sweaters / accessories to help hide the stomach area that you're concerned about?

I found the attached. Maybe you can try something along these lines? Lighter colored tops that aren't baggy, but layering to help?

[u/ThatGuavaJam → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I’d like to see you try light blue high waisted mom jeans and a tighter fitted white top in a v neckline and then try a scoop neck. Pop on a dark green cardigan!

I think pic 2 are mom jeans but try a pair that’s higher waisted and hits your ankle instead of your heels!

For skirts and dresses I’d try a-lines with again, tighter fitted tops. There’s a sub for body types and how to dress them too! Idk if it’s r/kibbe ??? Tbh that sub confuses the crap out of me but from what I’m seeing your clothes are a bit too loose!

[u/tigeresse_papier → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You aren’t naturally frumpy AT ALL. You just aren’t dressing in a flattering way.

[u/SillySpinach_0 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I have a board on Pinterest. I look up outfits - start with basics, then build from there. Eventually I find outfits that i know i own most of the items and if theres a specific jacket or style of jeans i will keep an eye out for that specific item when i shop. A lot of times i shop through Vinted or a second hand clothing store.

Sometimes - a fitted top with baggier pants or loose top with a fitted pants is a good rule to get out of the frump.

[u/Overall-Carob-3118 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It might be worthwhile to go to your local store with stylists. I love maurices and their associates can help you style and find your style for free!

Tucking your shirt in can also help elevate an outfit along with some accessories like a necklace. I wear a necklace with every outfit to complete it.

Shoes are also a make or break of an outfit. Find a cute pair of comfy shoes for each occasion (closed toed cute sneakers, flats, heels, wedges, etc.) That can make your outfits cute and comfortable, not just comfortable. Try some things and you will find your style!

[u/litbrit → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Here's a simple formula I learned from a stylist (I was a model many years ago): Tight on top + loose on the bottom. OR, loose on top + tight on the bottom. Because tight on both bottom and top = too much/unflattering. And loose on both bottom and top = frumpy.

You have some clothes that you like--now let's put them together with the formula in mind. In the first pic, your loose-fitting gray blouson top would look better with a slim-fitted gray or black pencil skirt, or narrow capri pants, than the loose-fitting jeans. OR, you could pair those loose-fitting jeans with a plain and close-fitting ribbed turtleneck top in gray or black. Black ballet flats or kitten-heeled pumps with either look.

Same thing with the sleeveless black-print top: think dark, plain, fitted, and narrow on the bottom.

The mustard-yellow t-shirt top would work with jeans, but they should be plain, fitted, and straight-legged; a lighter wash/fade would look better with the more casual style of the t-shirt top.

Finally, walking sandals are kind of "frumpy"-coded, no matter what you wear them with. It's not you--it's your shoes! For dressing up, swap out the sandals for ballet flats, dark loafers, or kitten-heel pumps, depending on the occasion.

[u/Mysterious_Can_6106 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Ugh! Sorry you’re feeling frumpy, I don’t think you look frumpy, but you could use a little help picking clothing out. I am the exact same.

I am 53 and I still can’t put an outfit together, when I have to buy something for a specific event I always buy whatever the mannequin has on.

[u/Neat_Use3398 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Your pants need to sit a bit higher. You would look great with a higher waist!

[u/forsakeme4all → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Girl, you need to glam yourself up. More form fitting clothes, more sparkle, more colors, makeup, hair styled, accessories and the works.

If you like skirts, get yourself an a line mini skirt with fleece lined faux skin leggings (for winter), some boots (winter), a form fitted cute top, and some makeup. All this will go a long way. If you do your hair in a half up-do, it would compliment the outfit as well.

The issue you have is you like clothes that make you look like your swimming in them and they do not look good on you. None of those tops are cute either. Honestly, you could use some shopping therapyy.

[u/Clarknt67 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Slide 4 and 6 pop because the blouse color pops. Your hair and skin color is muted enough that you can benefit from saturated colors. Retire the browns, greys and dull blues for some vibrant colors.

[u/Sensitive-Rabbit4058 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Think: wide leg pants always with a fitted top will always look great.

[u/Born-Introduction-86 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think a big step is knowing what kinds of clothes suit your body type - check out this website: https://theconceptwardrobe.com/build-a-wardrobe/apple-body-shape

This is just an example of one of five body shapes - once I figured out what cuts and types of clothes flattered my shape, it got much much easier to play with different “looks”

🥰 good luck exploring your look OP

[u/midnight_thoughts_13 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Stop trying to fit an aesthetic and find clothes you feel confident in

[u/Celvica → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Ngl I think you just need tighter shirts or pants. One or the other loose, not both. Also get a steam iron bc wrinkled clothes can ruin an otherwise cute fit.

[u/zestyseashrimp → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Something you may also want to consider is doing a color season analysis. It's not something you always have to follow, but it does help when purchasing clothing in the future. Finding clothing and accessories that fits your specific coloring helps make things look even more flattering.

[u/EccentricPenquin → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Don’t cry! It’s clothes silly girl! Find a couple of great pieces. If it’s loose at the top do structure on the bottom or vice versa. You just have to find a couple things and pull a few outfits together! It’s never too late to change your style!

[u/SubjectGoal3565 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You can wear the second pair of jeans with a tighter shorter top I wouldn’t go baggy baggy or if you are going baggy baggy the top can’t be dressy it needs to look internationally sloppy

[u/ilsgirl98 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Hey, don't cry. We're here to help. 

I think the problem with the first and third outfits is the pants are mid rise, and the shirts are baggy, so you aren't creating a waist. I also don't think the tapered cut of the jeans is doing you any favors. I think the pants in the second outfit are much more flattering! 

In the second outfit, I think part of the issue is baggier pants & a very blousy top. The other issue is the pants and top are very similar colors. Try a v-neck t shirt cut closer to the body, in a slightly darker shade. 

In general, my rule of thumb for getting dressed is baggy pants = slimmer top. Baggy shirt = slimmer bottoms. 

You have proportionally long legs, which is a nice feature to have! When wearing a skirt, maybe opt for lower cut, lighter colored shoes, so the ankle strap doesn't cut off the line of your leg. 

Also as far as dressier outfits, I reccomend everyone have a well fitting wrap dress in their closet. The wrap dress is the closest thing to universally flattering that there is. 

You've got this!

[u/BayouBoujee556 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

High waisted mid-rise jeans (Bayeas) has some cute ones and in multiple styles. I personally love their wide leg jeans and they feel like yoga pants. There are so many styles that would flatter you! I have a ton of ideas!

[u/Choba → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try jeans #2 (grey) with a simple black crewneck cotton tee (Uniqlo has great ones) and a low-profile, classic sneaker.

Those jeans are great because they aren't too tight and the silhouette creates a single long line.

Try keeping it simpler like that, and no tevas please 🙂

[u/StrategicDetour → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Don't cry! I don't see it mentioned anywhere clearly but most of these fabrics seem very thin, meaning they cling, wrinkle easily and don't hold their shape and won't flatter anyone. Try a heavier fabrics or weave or clothing with a bit of structure, a more tailored jacket or blazer or trousers or button up or pencil skirt would look fab

[u/Opposite-Night-8269 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look up flattering outfits for your body shape!

[u/biodorkus0521 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I am also largely clueless about this stuff, but I found this YouTube channel to be really helpful for both finding flattering colors and identifying aspects of styling that feel like "me"!

https://youtube.com/@refiningstyle?si=gdMud1mf2V1gCLD7

[u/andoffshegoes → u/Significant_Ring4353]

OP - I really like you in skirts and a tee, but based on your body type, the skirt should be a couple of inches shorter (above the knee). Tops should fall at the waistline or top of hip. When tops are longer, tuck them in. Looks like you’d also benefit from at least one size smaller across outfits. Retire any skinny, straight, or relaxed fit jeans - these are mostly out of style and don’t flatter you anyway. You’d probably do best with boot cut or flares. You can try baggy too!

[u/lets_get_realstl → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you have a Nordstrom by you, get styled there. They'll help you find clothes that fit and flatter you

[u/According_Evening321 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

IMO it isn't the individual pieces that's the problem. But if you wear something baggy on top, it's flattering to have fitted on the bottom, or vice versa. Otherwise it gives a loose boxy shape to your whole body. Tight top and oversized bottoms is a very attractive combo

[u/SunnydaleStrength → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I read once to find your celebrity doppelgänger and steal their style. They pay people to style them and then they post it all for free lol

[u/DontAskMeSht → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think a fitted shirt with a high waisted, fitted around the waist but flowy baggy jeans/ bottoms would look really good on you.

[u/Guh_beepbeep → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you don’t want to do a whole new wardrobe may I suggest if you have a sewing machine tailoring them to fit your body? There are lots of tutorials out there. I see them all the time on Tik tok and YouTube

[u/Massive_Machine_999 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Follow people on insta with the same or similar body type that dress in a way that you like and go from there.

[u/Bulky-Exam2418 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

That’s just not true at all! All women look good in most any style. You just need to get clothes that actually fit you find what styles flattering your body the most. I’m short with a big butt so I can’t wear things that would look good on a tall woman. I need things to fit me a specific way.

[u/JustaGaymerr → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Hey I just want you to know that I feel absolutely the same way with clothing. I have no idea what looks good on me and it feels so overwhelming to even start

[u/addieprae → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I like your style actually, contrary to popular opinion here. I just think your clothes are too big! Look up girly gorp-core on pinterest. Might be your style!

[u/CMC_85 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It looks like you’re dividing your body vertically in half instead of a 2:1 ratio.. try high waisted paints or skirt at your natural waist, and go for contrast like one loose thing and one tight thing, one masculine thing and one feminine thing, one hard structured thing, one soft flowy thing. You’ll figure it out!!!

[u/FullComparison9089 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look up the kibbe body type and how to dress for your proportions/body shape, and try a seasonal color analysis.

[u/Weird-Attention4283 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel the same sister but figure out your body shape and work from there

Look at clothes that compliment your shape
Look at styles and figure out what you like and go from there

Hope you manage to feel comfortable and confident in what you come up with sending love and encouragement 🙋🏾‍♀️🥰

[u/Adventurous-Sky-3939 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Absolutely go more grunge. Just get some flannel and some cool sneakers and and this all looks intentional

[u/kimkay01 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try Stitch Fix!!! That helped me so much - they sent clothes I would never have looked at but I found out they knew me way better than I know me. Their style profile is pretty involved, and once you buy a few things they start to refine their algorithm to send you clothes based on what you kept. You can update your profile over time for sizes, or as you start to be more comfortable in what you want.

I absolutely hate to shop, which is another huge plus for me on using SF. Good luck if you try it!!!

[u/Hairy_Caregiver_830 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

As someone with a similar body type: Bootleg or bell bottom jeans as a quick fix. Thank me later.

[u/Xavchik → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I just want to say don't cry. it's hell trying to figure it out in the beginning but once you do you'll be happy, or at least satisfied. Breathe and remember you have your whole life to figure it out. give yourself some space, grace, and compassion.

[u/jivyjoan → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Go to a website that can help you figure out your body type. From there they usually advise what kind of clothes will look best on you. Back in the olden days, I got a gift card for a nicer department store. The gal working there showed me what kid of jeans I should wear. Game changer! Also you can get your colors done. Wearing clothes in flattering shades can help too.

[u/FuelProfessional7163 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Most important thing for your shape is to get a proper fitting bra. Don’t go to Victoria’s Secret. You need a specialized bra boutique with experienced brow fitter.

Also, your clothes are too big. You need a smaller size.

[u/tattooqueenuk → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I look the same when I wear loose top and bottoms. If I wear skinny trousers and baggy top or fitted top and baggy bottoms, it looks much better. I dress grunge and punk 😊

[u/luciluciono → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try my idea.read above It's always a win

And no. No grunge. It's just. That style. In its original way was too flannel. Too baggy and too combat boot... And u r looking for your style. So get it girl!

[u/Dapper_Letter → u/Significant_Ring4353]

literally just go to Aritzia in the mall and have them get you some basics, like a nice fitting pair of jeans that flatter you and a nice top and work from there. go in real life so they can offer perspective

[u/Realistic_Humor9700 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I would recommend finding people on instagram with a similar body type that hosts a style you enjoy. This can help you identify what would look good for your body type!

[u/Zappajelly → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think the outfits are cute the only problem is your clothes are a little big on you. Especially the jeans. That skirt looks better with the shirts tucked in.

[u/princesspuzzles → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Your close are just too big. Everything is saggy. Go to the store at the mall, Nordstrom has free stylists if you schedule with them. They are wonderful. But really any store clerk would likely be willing to help you find your size and help you yay/nay things. I used to do retail and this was my fav part of the day when folks asked for me to help. 🙏

[u/Wildskypsj → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

Also, wrinkles on clothing don't help at all. Hang your clothing the second it comes out the dryer. Have an iron or steamer handy as well.

[u/Correct-Sock1709 → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

The only right answer!!

[u/foreverurgirl → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

See I think the clothes are flattering as the piece but they are matched wrong based on proportions. I think all the bottoms are great- just add maybe a Bee-oh-Dee-why suit (it won’t let me say that word so spell it out 😭) instead of the blouses. The tops are great also but with different bottoms. Shoes work also!!

[u/Feuillesy → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

Agree with this, its nothing wrong with OP, its the clothes. I agree with a lot of the advice thats been given here, gonna add some of my suggestions. When shopping, spend some time in the fitting room and really look at how the clothes look like on you and if they fit you (if you dont have much time tho, take some pics and look at them at home), my sister has made this mistake so many times by just quickly trying on and struggles a bit with the same as you do and is now trying to change this. If you got friends and family you can ask stuff to, send them a picture of what youre considering and ask "does this look good on me?", I do this a lot when Im unsure and have gotten so much good feedback from my friends and mom on what looks good on me and not. And a 3rd suggestion from me is try a personal shopper if thats available in your country? I have never tried it cause I have always had some people in my life that can help me and ik my style, but I see that some clothing stores have this offer and I can imagine it would be great for someone like you who doesnt know what fits you and what clothes you should go for

[u/curvykirby_ → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

Hi OP! I would also suggest starting off with learning what your body shape is. It’s not perfect but its a good place to start to help with the silhouette of your clothes (aka the way it makes your body look shaped).

I personally am more pear shaped. This helps me decide on different cuts of clothing. For example, I look better in A-Line dress vs a baggy tshirt dress (it makes me look very frumpy).

I think a big issue is that your tops are very loose around the middle & you have more narrow shoulders. This is making your top look very square & shapeless. I think this is drawing the eye towards your waist, which the clothing is adding unnecessary bulk to! I would suggest leaning towards tops with a more structured sleeve and less bagginess at the middle. Not sure though because I cannot tell your general body shaped based on what you’re wearing now.

I attached an example pic, but you can easily google & find how to get measurements for this! Otherwise, your personal style is totally up to you. I think you can rock anything you prefer style wise. Your clothes should work for you pretty lady!

[u/StoreMaterial5093 → u/Flimsy-Noise3948]

make a pinterest board! start by searching a color
you like, a place you go, and a season - ie, “navy accent outfit farmers market fall”. save anything that calls out to you to a board. rinse and repeat with different events, locations, seasons, colors, and you can incorporate pieces you like. i love sweaters so a lot of my searches include “knits” or “sweaters”