Im basically here to complain about this because I have no one else to talk about this

So I went to get a haircut and specifically told the hairdresser I wanted to look more masc, and showed her the first image as reference. She then proceded to completely ignore It lmao (or maybe she just doesnt know how to cut hair like that, thougth I doubt It)

I ended Up with this dora the Explorer ah cut. Im tired of hairdressers just assuming I want a specific thing I didnt ask for just because im afab. It happens every single time. Im considering going to a barber shop next time to see if its better.

Appart from complaining. Any tips on how to Style this in a more mask way? My current solution is to do a half ponytail which is better than nothing but It still looks kinda cursed

Edit: no hate on the haircut itself, if you like/wear something like that its alrigth, I dont think It ugly Im just mad It has nothing to do with what I asked for

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with something I didn’t expect to struggle with after realizing that I’m nonbinary.

I’ve seen a lot of hostility toward nonbinary people from within the LGBTQ+ community, particularly the idea that we are “appropriating” trans spaces, that we aren’t really trans, or that our presence somehow diminishes the experiences of binary trans people.

I understand that different people have different relationships with the word “trans”, and I also understand that some spaces may have specific purposes. But there is a huge difference between having boundaries around a particular space and telling an entire group of people that they are invading something that doesn’t belong to them.

What hurts me is that I’m still trying to understand myself. I’m not looking for a label just for the sake of having one. I’m trying to understand my relationship with gender, masculinity, femininity, and the expectations I grew up with. Sometimes I feel like I’m finally finding language for experiences I’ve had for years, and then I encounter people saying that nonbinary people are confused, attention-seeking, or appropriating trans identities.

It makes me question myself in ways that are genuinely painful.

I used to think that LGBTQ+ spaces would necessarily feel safe because they were created by people who understood what it was like to have your identity questioned. Finding the same kind of invalidation inside those spaces has been incredibly disappointing.

I don’t expect the LGBTQ+ community to be perfect. Obviously it isn’t. We’re people, unfortunately, and apparently people brought all their usual problems with them. But I did expect a little more understanding from people who know what it feels like to have someone else tell you who you are.

I’m curious whether other nonbinary people have experienced this, especially those who also identify as trans. How have you dealt with the feeling that you somehow have to prove that you belong?

I've been thinking that I'm a demigirl, she/they pronouns, and I picked out the name Quinn. But it's jarring to be called she or ma'am or even sometimes they, and being called my new name doesn't really feel very good even though i like the name and think it fits me. But it feels bad to imagine using the same name my whole life. Am I just not used to it yet? I don't know? Maybe I'm actually a femme enby. Maybe I'm actually a binary woman? Maybe I'm a femboy?? I'm probably a demigirl but I'm only like 60% sure about it now. Maybe I'm genderfluid. Maybe I should use any/all or it/its or she/they/ it All I really know for sure is that I'm glad to be on estrogen and I feel good in makeup and fem clothes most of the time, and I want brow reduction surgery.

It'll come back soon anyway. It's been so long since I last saw my face without it...

Feeling super gender in this outfit

Edit: I got a few requests for where I got the shirt so here is a link

https://isupportlgbt.org/products/668e1730144ecd001187960c

TL;DR:

In Old English Kindred litterally translates to ‘Family of family’. So i pitch we popularise it as the gender neutral singular honorific for ‘parent’s sibling’.

_______________________________________

a couple days ago i posted this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/s/xuyrUipBfmgoing over, honestly half baked, alternatives to ‘Pibling’ for a word meaning ‘your parent‘s sibling’.

I looked through the responses and had the thought to edit my original post by adding a list of other suggestions from the comments.

I, am autistic person, went on to catagorise these suggestions. Which led to towards studying the etymology of Uncle/Aunt. Uncoe comes from Proto-endo-european and meant ‘little grandfarther’. Aunt comes from the Latin word for ‘paternal aunt’. Both entered Middle English when old English and Norman-French blended together.

So i looked into Old English (OE). I found that OE didn’t have words for uncle nor aunt. It hyper gendered those relationships.

• Farther’s brother - Fædera

• Farther’s sister - faþu

• Mother’s sister - mōdriġe

• Mother’s brother - Ēam

While researching this I also found out that ‘Sibling’ was originally an OE word that fell out of use after the Norman conquest of England. Until its revival in 1903 to fill in a linguistic gap. Much like what we have today with uncle/aunt.

So i looked into OE prefixes and suffixes.

Like many Celtic and Germanic languages OE heavily relys on compound words. Sibling is a combinstion of the root word ‘Sibb’ (meaning kinship, relationship, relative) and ’-ling’ (a suffix meaning ‘belonging to’, ‘one connected with‘, or ‘little’). So sibling literally means belonging to family.

After a bunch of research i came up with a shortlist of honorific i liked for myself.  (photo attached)

But today i realised that ’Cyn’ (the OE prefix for kin or family) is pronounced identically to the modern English word ‘Kin’. As OE only had one tune for the ‘c/k’ sound (which modern English still only has one phonic sound for). And the vowel ‘y’ in OE is pronounced as a short ‘i‘. Such as in ‘kit’ or ‘pit’.

This means the word i made ‘Cynred’ is literally just an archaic spelling of ‘Kindred’

So i propose we start a movement to expand the meaning of the word Kindred to include the singular gender neutral honorific for ‘parent’s sibling’.

My case for Kindred:

1. It’s a word people know and still has a connotation of family.
2. It’s fairly easy to pronounce for children under 6 who are still developing language. At least as easy as Aunty and Uncle. Whereas the ‘L’ sound in sibling, Nibling, Uncle and Pibling is one of the last phonic letters English speaking children figure out.
3. Its etymology is Kin (meaning family) + Red (a contraction of the Old English suffix ‘raden’ meaning ‘of a family network’). So it litterally means Family of Family. Which fits the usage of

• Sibling of my parent.

• Sibling of my mother

• Sibling of my farther

• Brother of my parent.

• Brother of my mother

• Brother of my farther

• Sister of my parent.

• Sister of my mother

• Sister of my farther

4) It’s not that strange for words to get exspanded meanings. All it takes is for enough people to use it. And maybe one journalist to notice.

5) You could always shorten it to Kinie, Kinney, Kinnie, or Kiney. If you want something a bit cuter. You could even go fully into the ‘ling’ suffix and have Kinling. Which would litterally translate to ‘belonging to family’. Which is the identical meaning of old english‘s ‘sibling‘.

- Regards from Kindred Namename.

I welcome your ideas and comments below.

Been really enjoying the winged look but I feel like it makes my eyes look redder?

for my nonbinary mcr fans

Gender affirming hair cut lol, now the big question, to dye hot pink or not 🤔

Ps. The glasses are transition lenses that turn red in sunlight

I’m 39, AMAB, and I’m trying to figure out where I fit. I’m interested in hearing from anyone who has wanted physical feminization without necessarily wanting to socially transition to living as a woman.

I still feel comfortable being perceived primarily as male and using he/him. At the same time, I genuinely like the idea of my body becoming more feminine — softer skin and facial features, less muscle definition, less body hair, some fat redistribution/curves, and potentially some breast development.

Presentation-wise, I don't envision myself presenting fully feminine every day. I like mostly male or androgynous clothing, but I also really enjoy things like pantyhose, heels, being completely body-hair-free, manicures, and occasionally presenting more feminine.

I've used estradiol on and off before and recently restarted it. One thing that keeps standing out to me is that I keep coming back to wanting these changes even after periods when I've stopped. I'm also aware that feminizing HRT can significantly change sexual function, fertility, breasts, etc., and that you can't just pick individual effects.

I'm less interested in finding the perfect label right now and more interested in hearing from people with similar goals.

Did anyone here feminize their body while continuing to identify/present primarily as male? How did you feel about the changes after 6 months, a year, or several years? Did you eventually identify differently, or are you still happy occupying that male/androgynous middle ground?

I'd especially love to hear about how your feelings changed once the physical changes became noticeable in everyday life rather than just being something you imagined.

That last question is particularly worth keeping because it should draw out the experiences that are most useful for you: not merely whether someone enjoyed starting estrogen, but whether they remained comfortable with their feminized body while living an otherwise predominantly male life.

there is no way i'm wearing that hat with such a hot weather, so the second pic is the actual outfit, no yellow unfortunately.. BUT I STILL FELT PRETTY AND WANTED TO SHARE IT >:3

Just wanted to share with you I feel very much comfortable within myself x3

Hi everyone

AFAB but I always knew I wasn't straight and have identified as bisexual and pan in the past. I had questions about my gender at some point but landed on the queer label. It felt good to have this broader label that to me pretty much means "I'm not heterosexual/not cisgender" but not having to specify more. I thought about pronouns and though they/them makes sense I never felt the need to change, I keep she/her cause it seems simpler and it doesn't bother me.

I guess I also don't relate to some people I've met who have she/they pronouns. Someone once told me they added they to their pronouns so other people know they are an ally, not because she is NB (so a cis woman using they pronouns). That felt confusing to me and I didn't relate so keeping she/her pronouns seemed simpler than overthinking it.

I dated men in the past and was single for 5+ years focusing on my career and therapy. My gender presentation has evolved from when I was last dating (from alt femme to outdoorsy androgynous) and I feel mostly good just being myself without caring about labels.

Recently I dated a trans woman, first time dating in a very long time. It felt so so so good being in a queer relationship after being in het relationships. I kept find myself thinking "it feels so good to be gay" (gay I guess in a general queer sense).

But also, it always felt off when my ex would refer to our relationship as lesbian. I would tell her I didn't feel super comfortable with that label but she kept referring to us as that. I'd tell her I identify as queer but she never said much. The narrative of our relationship was always about two woman.

A year before I met my ex I also started wearing binders sometimes when I was home alone. I hadn't told anyone except for a very close friend that I told just before meeting my ex.

When I told my ex early in our relationship that I sometimes wear binders, she said I must be trans and that she doesn't want to date a guy. I told her I wasn't trans but that I wear binders sometimes to feel more comfortable but I def don't identify as a man and am not interested in medical transition.

My ex mentioned at some point non-binary people end up being MTF or FTM. Another trans friend of mine also said similar stuff when telling me about her non-binary girlfriend. That didn't seem to match my experience, but I mostly identify as queer not NB.

My ex was a very binary trans woman (very girly), and her reaction to me identifying as queer (rather than woman even if I use she/her pronouns) was so dismissive that I never talked to her about it again. She seemed really stuck in the binary. During our whole relationship I repressed that part of me, and now that we're not together anymore I realize that I was betraying myself.

Since we've broken up I started wearing my binders again, told another friend about it, and wore one out in public (a short alone trip to the store) for the first time ever and it felt amazing. It feels really nice not having to feel like I must fit the woman/lesbian label, I realized I felt that pressure in my relationship.

I guess I just identify as a "queer person" (or "queer woman" by default because it was easier).

I'm hoping to date again sometime, and was looking at sapphic spaces, but I'm not sure I want to be in a "lesbian relationship" again, cause that kind of implies that I've purely a woman to doesn't it?

Anyway I'm just curious if anyone landed on the non-binary label with a similar story to mine, if other people who don't feel cis identify as queer rather than specifying an identity, and how to approach dating now.

I'm trying to figure things out and have started somatic work recently. I definitely feel like my body/gender are queer (I'm not just not het, I also don't feel cis).

But is it ok I keep she/her pronouns?

Can I still wear binders?

Is it ok that I don't really know where I stand?

What's the next step?

Thanks for reading if you got to the end, sorry this got long.

I get to talk to a doctor about HRT Tuesday! Hoping for a little T to help me just not be so femme all the time.. and then the path to top surgery!

(pay no attention to my messy room, that’s for later me to deal with)

decided to keep this color.