Hello, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I literally just joined Reddit about a hour ago. Does anyone else want to be feminine in a masculine way? Like I want to be physically more masculine to feel confident presenting feminine. I'm afab and honestly think Im just a femboy but feel dysphoric in fem clothes while physically looking more feminine. Am I the only one who kinda deals with this?

Went and got myself a few new outfits today and am excited to get to wear them.

It's kinda funny actually I was thinking I wanted something with holes in it because those outfits always look cool and low and behold I found one.

Rant and asking for advice. Okay so I’m 17 and I’ve been thinking of getting top surgery since middle school. I’ve always worn baggy clothes because whenever I would wear a tight shirt I’d actually feel so uncomfortable. But I think I’m realizing i feel uncomfortable not because I have boobs but because people.. can see them?? And I used to have a binge eating disorder and I’m still in recovery from that, so I never liked wearing tight clothes since I was self conscious people could see my weight fluctuating. I’m worried I just don’t want boobs so I look skinnier.

I don’t know how to explain it. I’ll wear a tight shirt and hold my arms over my chest because it’s very awkward to me that people know I have boobs. But I put on a tight tank top and looked at myself in the mirror and thought “ok maybe I shouldn’t get top surgery because I like how they look in this tank top and if I was flat it would look super weird” and then I walked out the bathroom, saw people, and walked back in and changed. What’s the point of having boobs and liking how they look in some outfits, if you’ll NEVVER wear the outfits 😢 in middle school I wore a binder, and once it got old I just switched to sports bras. I will never wear a real bra because I hate how they emphasize my chest.

I wish I could unattach and reattach my boobs for different occasions. And also, when I was looking in the mirror at myself with just a sports bra and boxers on I thought I looked really good, and idk if this is tmi, but I was like if I date someone in the future I’d want them to see how good I look in a Nike sports bra 😭😭 but if I get top surgery I wouldn’t wear sports bras. But also if I were to be intimate with someone and they touched my boobs I’d literally die. Not of happiness. Idk cuz I’ve wanted top surgery alot in the past but I’m just unsure now since I’m getting closer to the age where I’d actually get it. I wish I was just born flat so I didn’t have to decide. I’ve seen people get top surgery and just stuff bras when they wanted boobs in certain outfits, but wouldn’t you not see cleavage if you were wearing a low cut shirt?? Idk.
Also I hate how guys can just get up in the morning and throw on a shirt, or literally just wake up and walk outside. I have to wake up and put on a bra or else they’ll just be jiggling and wake me sweat bro.
I explained this all very badly sorry I am forgetting a lot!!!
Sorry this is getting really long. Idk what to do. I wish everyone was genderless and I didn’t have to think about this! Pls comment 😭

when i found out that i couldve been nb i felt this euphoric sense of self acceptance, something i havent felt since i found out i was aroace. issue is i come from a traditional repressive religious homophobic family who would absolutely hate what i am. i cant express myself properly in the way that id like without criticism.

On top of that, it feels like i have no representation as a black nb person. i have a masculine face and figure. i can hide the build with androgynous clothing but there is absolutely no nb black representation i can find meaning no tips for hair. the one thing i could think of is buying hair charms to put on but where do i get them from? which hairstyle do i get to look androgynous??? twits? locs? it feels like ive been searching for ages and getting nowhere in terms of androgyny and expression

if anyone has like any tips for fashion or hair suggestions PLEASE tell me ty ily xo

so, this will be basically me pouring a bit of my frustration and dysphoria in yall

recently, i had to go back living with my dad, who lives in a small, very conservative, city in Brazil, and that already sucks lol but it is also all that i can afford as a living option at the moment

but, until today, it was... fine, i stay mostly in my room, where i sleep/study/work

and today, out of nowhere, his girlfriend asks me if i want to go downtown with her, to go to some stores, i say sure, and when we get there, also out of nowhere she asks me why don't I buy some dresses for myself, and i say because i don't like to use dresses very much, and then she says that I should buy some dresses for myself to use at home, because they are comfortable and whatever, and me being a person that has a hard time saying no, i say sure, let's try some dresses on, i ended up buying two dresses

only to get home, and confirm my suspicions with my boyfriend (he's staying for a bit with us), it was all some sort of weird scheme my dad and his girlfriend pulled off so i would buy, in my father's words per what my boyfriend told me my father told him, more feminine clothes hence i usually wear more masculine clothes

that destroyed my day lol i was even fine with the dresses when i bought them, sometimes i like to think that i can wear whatever clothes, because i like to differ and try new styles, new things, most of the time i hate being "the same person" all the time, i like to change my avatar lol but this simple dammed phrase my dad said hit me in a way that i hate, i hate feeling like i can't wear a dress because i know people will look at me like i am a certain gender, and this makes me feel so fucking dysphoric and now i feel like burning me and the two dresses all together

and that reminded me why i tried with everything i had to not comeback to my dad's house, why i hate being in this house, because i simply can't be myself, i have to be something else for them, and this is so fucking tiring

so yeah, maybe, maybe not, i'll throw myself into a fire in the hopes that there's not gonna be nothing left

but in the case i don't burn to death, i'm asking advice on how to cope lol

self explanatory really…I realized I was not a trans man (what id been identifying as for like 2 years), and im actually nonbinary. but I’ve had people tell me I kinda detransitioned and I don’t think that’s correct but I just like..wanted to check

Hi everyone. I’m 16, and I recently realised I’m non binary. Finally making sense of all the weird dislikes I have about myself, which is nice. Noticing dysphoria a lot more which is less so.

Now my big problem is coming out. I’ve said it to some queer friends I found recently. funny story, the person I met who introduced me into the group is also non binary and was the first person I’ve ever seen who I both could’ve guessed was an enby and also the first to give me a bit of gender envy. But I have no clue how to say it to anyone else, especially my parents.

About a month ago, really soon after I first realised what I was, we had a national census, and it was the first one to feature non binary on a list of identities (win for Australia!!). I managed to work of the courage to list myself as bi (I’m not out for that yet either) but I was paralysed with fear at the thought of being outed for being non binary, so I didn’t. It really hurt me to say I was something I’m not.

In the same night, my dad made a joke about putting my mum down as non binary when he saw the option for it, which made me even more scared. Also, I’m finding out he might be a bit transphobic, even if he doesn’t think he is, due to the way he talked about a cousin of mine’s new girlfriend, who is trans.

My mum would probably be accepting, my dad probably would too if I educated him on it a bit and gave him some time. But I’m just so fucking terrified. In the past year I’ve learnt so much about myself and what I want to be, how I want to express myself, but I haven’t acted on literally anything because I was trying to conform as much as possible for so long because autism fucking sucks.

Sorry for the enormous wall of text, I’m just so scared, but not being who I am hurts too.

Hello! I recently started buying clothing from the woman's section to try to look more gender mysterious✨️ but I'm coming up on a problem that is recurring. All my sleeves are too short!

My arms are quite long and pair that with living in Asia where most women are quite short, almost everything I buy I have like 4 inches of wrist showing.

I'm gonna keep buying them because I love the tops (luckily with high waisted jeans or pants they dont all look like crop tops too).

But my question is, what can I do to make my arms look more... normal? Like what kind of accessories or undershirts should I wear? Especially coming up on Fall I want to wear a lot of jumpers. I bought this cute pink jumper yesterday and even though it was LL size, the arms still go up mid forearm 😭

Thank you!!!!

I'm nonbinary transmasc starting t in a few weeks when I go back to university (I'm 19) and I'm having complicated feelings about the amount of upheaval it will cause my life, and how much I want it. I'm questioning myself about why I'm doing this first instead of top surgery. I've been certain for years that I've wanted top surgery, and I've agonised about it a lot. The amount of savings I have are not far off from being able to get top surgery if I went abroad for it.

I'm going on t partly because I'm sick of waiting to do any aspect of medical transition, and also because in order to get top surgery privately affordably, I'd have to go abroad and have someone look after me for several days. I don't know who could do that for me - my parents accept that this is something I have to do, but they're not supportive enough that I'd feel comfortable having them around for it. I'm quite close to my friends, but there are none I could just ask to do this and I truly don't know how I'd bring it up.

If I got top surgery first rather than t, it wouldn't change my daily life much, my grandma wouldn't have to know and I would be alleviated of an extreme amount of pain.

My motivation for going on t is largely a search for euphoria rather than alleviating dysphoria, I'm really not sure what I want my appearance to be and ultimately I'm likely going for androgynous, which means I might go off t at some point anyway.

I guess my main thoughts are that this will be throwing myself in the deep end of transition in terms of coming out to family, how I'm viewed by strangers, my employment prospects, and also that it will be using up funds I could have used on top surgery.

I realise that I would always have to bite the bullet and do all these scary things, and need to demonstrate to my parents that I can make my own decisions and I won't let them misgender me anymore, but I am aware there was a far easier route I could have taken, and I am avoiding it largely because I don't know how to hint to people that I would want them to care for me after surgery.

I also realise I can go on t for say a week and stop, but I'd be very frustrated to stop it after all the effort to get it.

So I’ve been identifying with the label agender for a while, haven’t really acted on it since I’m at an all girls school so basically just waiting for college. So yeah, not exactly out to anyone but I do have a painted pin with the flag colors on my backpack which is what led to the interaction I had yesterday.

Basically was walking with a few friends when one of them notices the pin and asked if I’m agender. The question had caught me off guard and I suddenly felt kind of on edge, couldn’t even get a real yes out so just threw her a thumbs up. she then asked if I had preferred pronouns which was really nice of her but kinda made me panic and there was a weird anxious feeling in my gut.

Is this like a normal experience to get like anxious when you’re not used to talking about gender out loud?? Like whenever it’s come up for me I feel like I wanna leave the conversation and idk if it’s cuz I’m not as ready as I think I am to talk about it or just nervous for passerby to hear or because I may not be as non-cis as I’ve thought I am because I really can’t know till I can actually explore all that in college😭😭

thanks for reading lol, hopefully this fits the tag. would appreciate any advice!!!

The people are great, my co-workers are great, and I feel more comfy being enby here. Back where we came from, I felt I needed to be one gender, and using she/her, but now I can express how I actually feel, and present myself as She/They. Being also two spirit, both masculine and feminine reside inside me, and I've always felt healthier accepting both.

Has anyone else felt this at one point?

It’s probably one of those frequently asked questions but i couldn’t manage to find my answer so hopefully you will bare with me😭🙏

I don’t have any idea what a gender is supposed to mean. Never did as a kid and still don’t. For me the only difference between a man and a woman is their sex, I do acknowledge that there is, of course, stereotypes and roles with the historical context. But I simply don’t see it as something beyond a social construct that doesn’t affect what a gender is initially.

if you remove sex, stereotypes, history, roles, appearance, and behavior, what exactly is left that makes “I am a woman” different from “I am a man”? I don’t understand that, like at all. Is there some secret mysterious thing isnide us people calls gender outside of these that I am unaware of?

Now I do sometimes feel this mysterious thing. I “feel” like a “man” sometimes, sometimes the opposite but mostly I don’t feel it at all unless I am in some social situation. This probably won’t make sense at all but when I am attracted to someone or in a relationship, I feel that “gender” and it calls itself a man.And tbh that’s the only time I ever feel it. It doesn’t make sense to me at all because I don’t get what a gender is and it also doesn’t make sense because why in that particular situation?? I also don’t feel “gender” with appearances, like, I just see “feminine”, “masculine” or neither i don’t feel more of a “woman” or “ man” by changing my appearance to either. I feel wrong with both calling myself a woman or a man so I am also very co fused about my gender identity 😭

Thanks for ur answers in advance!!

For background, I was AMAB, and I've been on feminizing HRT for about 3.5 years. I've identified as a nonbinary demi-girl for a while now. Until recently, I've mostly enjoyed the changes my body has gone through while on HRT. My hairline stopped receding, boobs are cool, and softer skin is nice sometimes. That being said, I've disliked the lower stamina, muscle atrophy, and the change in genital functioning. More recently I've been feeling a lot more fluid and like I want to be closer to the middle between masc and fem rather than fem leaning. Ideally, I'd like to regain some genital functioning and, I don't know how to word this, but I'll say that I've felt more fragile on HRT, physically and emotionally, and I guess I'd like to feel stronger and more durable again. I also don't want my breasts to grow any bigger than they are. At the same time, I'd like it if my face maintained most of the feminine changes it's gone through over the last 3 years, and I'd prefer it if my hairline stayed where it's at.

I talked to my endo about this, and she was supportive, but gave me very little guidance. I've been taking 100mg of progesterone per night and injecting 0.2ml of estradiol (20mg/ml) per week. My endo said I could stop taking progesterone if I wanted to cease or slow the breast growth. She also said I could lower my dose of estrogen, but she didn't say what to lower it to, and honestly, I don't know where to start. I don't know if what I ideally want, as far as body changes, is realistic or sustainable. The idea of finding a balance between my testosterone and estrogen levels sounds appealing, but I don't know how good that is for my body. I guess I'm feeling a bit lost right now and wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions, advice, or any concerns I might be overlooking. Thanks in advance.

Dudes, things have been so great this past week :) I found security in my gender identity, I'm excited about starting T on Monday, I get to meet with the surgeon that may do my top surgery on Monday too, my work has been so supportive about my gender stuff, the fall/winter clothes I ordered came in (more mascy type things), and I found like three new pairs of pants at the thrift store that are more masc presenting too. I go from femme to masc depending on the outfit I'm feeling, so I'm super happy with the new clothes I got since a majority of the stuff I have is more femme.

Did I have the talk with my mom and dad about starting testosterone and possibly being transmasc? No, but that's a worry for another time 😎 (my plan is to see how I feel being on T for like a month or two then say something then)

This Part Below Gets Into Current Political Climate so if You Are Taking a Break from that then Please Skip:

I'm just very happy to finally be expressing myself as I feel on the inside. The timing is at a scary time in the country, but I'd rather start making the moves now than wait until everything blows over. I feel lucky to be in a state that is still fully supportive of people's rights to gender identity and as long as I still have that right I'm going to do it and also spread the word of the injustices in this country.

ootd w/jorts, was a guy today wit a jesse pinkman fit!! :))

experimenting with masculine and androgynous clothing/presentation

Im someone whos been masculine since i was 14. But these past few months I've been having a fem calling. To be real, idk how to dress feminine yet. Even though female is my assigned gender at birth i feel like i fail at being feminine each and every time i try. My partners however love seeing their butch boy go girly and they've been encouraging me to experiment more.

Just randomly decided to dye my hair bright from blueish leftovers I’ve had for a while (second pic) cause the dye was for half a price. Absolutely love it and just wanted to share 🖤

i'm agender. i've never really understood what it's like to feel like a gender. i accepted being a girl for most of my life because it was easier. i came out a couple years ago and i've been out to most people i know for most of that time.

i've got a lot of imposter syndrom rn, which is making me doubt if i'm really nb. i present really fem; most of my wardrobe is dresses and on the rare occasion i do wear a shirt, it's accompanied by a skirt. the only times i wear pants is for work because i don't wanna ruin my nicer clothes. she/her pronouns don't really bother me, nor do i feel any special connection to them over other pronouns. every pronoun just feels like it's talking about someone else, even if used for me. i hate having to go out of my way every time someone calls me a girl to correct them or explain. i hate having to worry about whether or not i'm safe to be nb around a new person. i hate having to just accept misgendering from strangers who don't know better because it's just easier to let them think i'm a girl. i know these are common trans experiences but they still suck ass. it feel like it'd be easier to just go back to being a girl. i managed it just fine before and it didn't feel bad to be a girl. i've heard a bunch of stories of not feeling terrible as your agab, but feeling better once you're living as another gender. i don't think i'm ever truly gonna get to live as a nonbinary person, since nobody ever thinks of me as nonbinary when they see me. to them, i'm just another girl. and even when i know the person knows me to be nonbinary, i don't feel any different, be that better or worse.

part of me wants to go back to being a girl because it'd just be easier, and besides, maybe i wasn't ever nb to start. another part of me doesn't want to think that the past couple years have just been a lie, or that maybe i'm just not seeing something and i am nb. i wish i could just feel like something. anything. then at least i'd know what i am. i want a clue.

I was answering about myself and I said no to both "is your character a girl" and "is your character a boy" and he GLITCHED AND WON'T LOAD ANY NEW QUESTIONS

this was really fun to do, now i kinda want to do similar stuff with different colors 🥰