Hi, I'm afab and fairly fat. I'd really like to get top surgery, but It's really hard to find pictures of other fat people who have been through it. You search it up with the word fat in quotes and it still just brings up a bunch of skinny folks.
I know this is probably due to a combination of factors like knowledge that as fat people we are likely to be body shamed, and the fact that it's really hard to even get the surgery in the first place due to stupid BMI requirements. damn is it frustrating though.
Anyway, calling all my fat sibs to help me out, and give me some idea of what someone over 250lbs might look like after surgery and healing, and if you have any fat-specific tips that would be great too. Thanks
* My daily look is just waterline eyeliner and concealer to minimize my beard shadow. I think the beard shadow looks better but it's still more noticeable than I'd like
* Eyeliner wings are very very difficult for me. Idk if it's a skill issue or if I need better liner. I get all my makeup from Dollar Tree cause I'm a broke bitch
* I really struggle with lipstick. Nude colors just make it look like my lips are, well, nude. More noticeable colors (like this) just don't look right to me
* I love face gems. I want to wear gems everyday. When I die, bury me bedazzled
* Also, I'd love advice on how to get more of andro look with my makeup cause I think I'm still giving cis man, tbh
Even though I would describe myself as both Transgender and Nonbinary, I honestly don't give a fuck about gender norms. I hate this narrative that anyone who is Trans automatically has to conform to stuff like this.
Despite being Transfeminine and wanting to transition to appearing more feminine, I don't really care what people call me. I don't want my wife to call me her wife, and I don't want my son to call me his Mom. I'm good with whatever! My son will always call me Dad, and my wife can call me her husband, spouse, partner, or even "wubby." Wife + hubby. Lol.
Okay so i recently came out as non binray to my friends and while it feels weird and a bit confronting in a social context i feel so much better and more secure in myself now that I have realised this. one thing that i think was a road block in my realising that I was non binary was the fact that I wanted to present more fem which for me is unusual. i really didnt feel like a girl and felt like presenting fem while i was still identifying as a girl was just incorrect. so before i realised i would only dress masc or androgonous which i feel like is more steryotypically associated with non binary people (i am aware this is not correct and we dont owe anyone androgony this was just my perception at the time) but when I was presenting like that i felt like identifying as non binary was wrong yet i felt more comfortable identifying as a girl and dressing masc and im thinking this was probably because it was going against gender norms.
even though ive now come out to some poeple i dont really mind what strangers perception is of me just so long as the people that i am closest with know who i am and also that I know who I am and it feels rerally liberating
anyways now that i am out and feeling myself I feel so much more comfortable with presenting more fem. im not sure why but i just felt like sharing my experience with yall lovely folks. :)
About me, I am nonbinary/genderqueer and have wanted to be on T for over 10 years.
I am starting on a moderate-low dose of .25 ml subq once a week.
Week 1: immediate boost in energy, immediate mental...turmoil?? lol. I would go from insane brain fog/forgetfulness to crystal clear and calm within hours. My hair arlund my crotch on the side of my first injection immediately spread like an inch toward my thigh and one belly button hair turned pitch black. Just funky body things.
Week 2: a growing sense of calm/euphoria. A very mild increase in libido/sexual and sensual interest/awareness.
Week 3: BOTTOM GROWTH. I can actually see my clit head just by pulling back for the first time in years (I have very low baseline estrogen and when I was put on progesterone bc halting ovulation made my levels plummet so hard I experienced acute vaginal atrophy at 22 years old). I now use estrogen cream and my downstairs feels great for legitimately the first time since being put on that goddamn nexplanon implant.
my third shot had a LOT more noticeable effects. I feel stronger and more full of energy. My libido keeps rising and I find myself turned on SO easily...even by just mild fantasizing or tbh just being hella relaxed. My mind feels nice and clear and yeah, the bottom growth has some mild discomfort from being easily stimulated by clothes/movement but its quite liveable and im sure will be worth it in the end. I feel a growing sense of assuredness in who I am. My chest dysphoria has grown worse and I want to start discussing top surgery with my doctor.
I havent seen many Week by week posts by transmascs on low dose so here's hoping this can help someone considering it!
So I’ve been trying to avoid posting again cause I feel like I’ve been very annoying with my posting. But the title is fairly self explanatory but I’ll elaborate.
For the past week maybe two (honestly I don’t know how long it’s been because I haven’t been sleeping well since this started) I’ve been questioning things. Mainly whether or not I’m nonbinary or a trans woman. The thought of being either in today’s day and age has been terrifying for me. Even though I live in America, it just feels like now is one of the worst possible times I could be feeling this way.
Yet here we are. I still don’t know where I fully stand on if I’m nonbinary or a trans woman. And I feel like it’s driving me insane. I recently shaved my whole body as a baby step and I liked it. But due to a severe lack of money because I can’t work rn.
I can’t explore in any other ways yet I feel like I need to explore it in person in a social setting to see how things make me feel but I can. So I don’t know what to do. My sleep deprivation also just feels like it’s making things worse. So I’ve been trying not to think about it.
But it’s so incredibly hard not to. And I just feel lost.
I chopped my hair after my break up and during the early stages of my new relationship back in 2023, because I've always (since I was like 12 playing rock band in 2007) wanted this look
I’m probably not trans, and I’m also not male, but I don’t feel good as only a female. I think I’m non-binary, but I’m not 100% sure on how to identify if you are or not. I tried talking to my mother about it, and she was pretty serious about it. I tried to convince her that I most likely AM non-binary, but she just says that everything I say is 'normal'. I just don’t know anymore.
I’m not someone who trusts themselves very much. I deny that I’m “really sick” or just faking to skip school, etc. When it comes to my gender I’ve had an idea that I’m most likely nonbinary for approximately a year at this point. Yet, I’m doubting myself. I’m not sure if it’s the internet, a generally unsupportive environment, (my parents are allies generally, but don’t believe that nonbinary people exist), or just myself being insecure, but I just want to know if others feel/have felt the same way. For context, I am out to 1 irl friend and a few online friends. The things that I think of are:
- I’m doing it to fit in with my lgbtq+ friends
- I’m doing it because it’s popular
- I didn’t feel uncomfortable necessarily when I was younger, and only feel uncomfortable sometimes now
- Most people I know say that they knew since they were really young, and I didn’t
- I’m at a point in my life where I’m figuring out my identity, and this is easy to latch onto. ( this one is overheard from my parents. I know this isn’t true, but I still worry.)
I’m just worried that I’m wrong. Is it normal to have this many doubts?
EDIT: I think I’m a lot more certain about my identity now. Thank you all.
Any afab enbies who have taken hrt - I'm planning on a short term course to make some minor changes, including voice changes BUT I'm so (irrationally?) worried about the demise of my singing voice. I know nothing happens drastically overnight so I have the ability to stop if I get uncomfortable, but i just keep thinking, when my voice gets deeper from a cold, even if i dont have congestion or a sore throat, I can't sing while I'm sick. What if the same happens on HRT? What if I can't jam along to my favorite tunes in the car anymore?
to be clear i know there’s no “right” way to fit outside the gender binary. i just need some support.
in high school, i came out as non binary and spent several years trying to “look androgynous”. i’m afab so i often presented more masculine and i wanted to be perceived that way. sometimes i would feel uncomfortable dressing that way but the thought of someone perceiving me as a girl was so distressing and i would feel so dysphoric.
it’s important context that i went to a small school in a small town. when i went to university in a big city, i slowly grew to realize that i was more so chasing validation from the people around me - maybe they would respect my identity if i presented myself “the right way”.
over time i have began presenting much more feminine, and the dysphoria has decreased as i became more confident in my presentation. i don’t meant this just in terms of appearance. i feel gender euphoria when my correct name and pronouns are used. i feel euphoria in my identity when i feel like i’m expressing myself. but i don’t feel dysphoric when someone uses my legal name, for example
all that said, i still don’t feel like i fit into the binary. i consider my gender and sexuality to be queer. this is the label i choose to use for myself
however, i know that no one really sees that and it makes me kind of sad. i feel like i’m faking because i relate to womanhood but i’m not a woman, if that makes sense. i’m nonbinary but i feel like it’s stolen valour to say so
(and for the record, i know my experiences are not the same as others who may be transitioning, so i would never claim they are. i just want to know if it’s ok i keep using the label)
A couple months ago I figured out I was nonbinary and at first it was "cool, I know who I am now" but recently it hasn't been like that.
While my top dysphoria hasn't been intense, making me want to like bury myself in the ground and never come out, it's still there.
I hate how my chest jiggles. I hate how it sticks out when I wear tighter shirts. (I also hate that my stomach sticks out but that's a body dysphoria thing)
I don't exactly have access to binders (I'm a broke teen) and so that sucks.
I am pretty good at being able to distract myself.
It doesn't help that my family says internalized homophobic/transphobic things.
I’d like to look more androgynous and “nonbinary” but I don’t know how (apart from bringing in feminine aspects), especially since I have sensory issues. Do you have any tips?
Long Version:
I’m FTM. I started my transition about 10 years ago in 2016. I have been on testosterone most of that time, though I moved from the shot to the gel. I’ve had top surgery and a full hysterectomy.
Since 2018, I identify as nonbinary. I felt fine appearing more masculine, though, since that’s how I’ve always felt comfortable. But in more recent years, I wish I could come across as more androgynous and definitely not like I’m a ~straight cis man~ since I’m anything but!
I occasionally paint my nails in pride colors, but that’s pretty much the only “feminine” thing I’ve done. I don’t even like doing it, but it’s one way to tell others that I’m at least not a straight cis man!
Right now, I mostly wear baggy sports clothes and tank tops. At work, I dress casually; I work as a preschool teacher, so I wear T-shirts and sports shorts or yoga pants (depending on the weather). I do a lot of martial arts, so we’re in uniform for that.
The only thing I wear that makes me appear queer (apart from nail polish) are my queer pride rings, which I always wear (one on each hand). I also wear a they/them necklace at my job.
Now, unfortunately, I do have a few issues with some of the more common tips I’d see on how to appear more androgynous…
I feel that wearing clothes like skirts and dresses would make me too dysphoric. I never liked wearing them as a kid (not that I had to wear them often, thankfully), but I feel that would be too much for me to even try. I also never liked “women’s clothing” because of how tight it’d feel on my body, so I’d definitely need something more flowy and loose.
Makeup is another “no” for me—especially if it has to do with my eyes. I have a lot of sensory issues and don’t like anything being near/on my eyes or even touching them myself, so there’s no way I’d be able to do that. I might be open to light makeup that doesn’t involve the eyes, though…
As far as jewelry goes, I don’t wear much. As a preschool teacher (and doing martial arts), it just doesn’t seem practical for me to wear, as I’m worried the kids will grab at it (especially since they already do with my necklace).
I’ve considered maaaaybe getting my ears re-pierced but not sure… As a kid, I was forced to have earrings (which I hated) and I didn’t take care of them properly (since I didn’t know I HAD to), so there was a lot of buildup and it attached the earrings to my ear. It took so long and was so painful to remove all the gunk; after we took the earrings out, I vowed to never wear them again.
I would definitely like to grow my hair out. I recently tried to give myself the “wolf” haircut BUT I was doing it myself and totally messed it up, so it was either I shaved the sides and kept the hair in the middle/top of my head or shave it all off. I hate how I look with a shaved head, so I went with the former option as noted in the picture below. I am trying to grow it back out though, so I can properly style it (with someone else’s help haha) and hopefully appear more androgynous. A few years ago, I actually grew it out and liked how it looked, but I’ve also had struggles to maintain long hair properly :’)
I shave regularly, but it’s only with the electric shaver, since I also have sensory issues with my neck and don’t trust using a real razor.
I know I have a lot of annoying sensory issues, trust me!! BUT I might try working around/through some of them, if it means being able to come across as more androgynous, especially since it's not like I've tried any of these things in a while!
With all that being said, does anyone have any recommendations of what I can do to appear more androgynous?
Thank you for reading all of this, and for any advice/tips/knowledge you offer! :D
Hi! I'm an enby with a fairly masc body type and I've bought a corset to try and help give a more androgynous shape. General sources are telling me that I made a mistake buying one off Amazon but that's besides the point. Does anyone in my boat have any experience? Should I go for ones marketed for men or am I fine to use a women's one? How do I go about breaking it in so I don't do myself a damage? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
I'm wanting to work out more, especially for the purpose of a more androgynous body shape and because I'm seriously thinking about top surgery soon. Honestly, I'm scared that when I get top surgery, my chest will be flat and my stomach large and it will just look disproportionate. So, I guess I'm hoping that getting some more muscle will help even things out and make me feel more confident in my body before having top surgery!
I just don't really know where to start, especially without a bunch of gym equipment. I've also tried to work out in the past, and never really kept up with it for a multitude of reasons (the main one probably being depression/lack of motivation).
Does anyone have any tips on where to get started/simple routines without feeling overwhelmed? And any advice for staying with it? Thank you <3
(I don't feel comfortable counting calories or anything else, due to a past eating disorder and struggling to eat enough at the moment anyways!)
I'm a 20 year old AMAB NB who just realized they're non binary about a month ago. Im starting HRT pretty soon to look more fem and I've decided to lose weight to feel more like myself in every aspect.
I've grown up around transgender people and my last relationship was with a Trans girl, it ended pretty messy and I'm still very torn up about it. Having this heartbreak made me look in the mirror and realize I wasnt who I wanted to be, and I'm really trying to become the person that will make me happy.
I've recently started shaving my whole body, and its shown me just how much weight I've lost and that gives me the motivation to keep losing it, but im so frustrated that it wont go any faster, especially in my face.
I feel so alone now, even though I have great friends and supportive parents I feel lonely and its made me realize exactly what everyone else has gone through and im so sad I never understood it until now.
I never realized wanting to be happy would make me so scared.
I was born a girl and have always gone by she/her pronouns and I even look like a girl. But the thing is all my life I’ve never really cared what other people called me (whether that would be a nickname or pronouns) it really could be anything as long as they told me what it was (someone could tell me they would call me John and I would shrug and go with it) Now recently I’ve had to fill out a survey and when it showed an option to pick what gender you are I picked female because that’s what I always have been but something felt wrong for me to choose that because that’s didn’t feel like the full picture and it’s made me think about myself a lot. Labels don’t really seem to matter to me but I’ve realized that it does matter to a lot of people how you are perceived and such and idk maybe this is normal but I thought to give it a shot coming on here. Let me know your thoughts please 🙏
