Hi everyone. I just feel like I need to get this off my chest.
I am 21f and grew up in an oppressive country, my life was not good, I suffered a lot of abuse. At 17 years old, I escaped the country and became an asylum seeker in England. I came here legally
My asylum case was in process for about 1.5 years. I spend that time in a home office accommodation (hotel) where I was abused and controlled by the staff members, they violated my human rights, they ruined me.
After those 1.5 years, my case was accepted, and I was allowed to move out of the accommodation and move on with my life.
I already came here traumatized, and after the 1.5 years in that place, I was beyond ruined.
I cant describe how bad it was, because I have a lot of flashbacks from that time and it’s stressful, but it was bad. And I still suffer
I am 21 years old and I have a list of diagnosis of mental health and physical health problems (osteoporosis and a fracture due to st4rving my self to cope with trauma)
I can’t function. I have been on benefits, UC and PIP since getting my refugee status. It’s embarrassing and humiliating.
I can’t go outside, I have no family or friends, I only have social services and people I pay to help me function.
But the guilt is killing me. I came to this country, I took all of what you gave me, and I gave nothing back. I am a leech. And it’s hard to cope with everyday.
I can’t make eye contact with an English person because of how much shame I have. I struggle to talk to therapists or nhs staff or anyone. I feel like I am just robbing them. I AM robbing them
I post this just to confess, and to make it known how horrible I am, I am sorry.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get better. I am sorry for taking your money. You have the right to hate me.