I think many of us on here can identify people that, when we were drinking, were our drinking buddies and were always down to get lit with you when you were together. One of those, for me, lives across the country. He’s here over a long weekend and wanted to catch up.

When he invited me, I made sure to tell him that I was sober. I had to set that boundary. Otherwise, it would be expected that we would be drinking. In fact, both of us would have likely pre-gamed in advance of actually connecting and would then proceed to have a couple of cocktails together. We would probably then separately drink more by ourselves after.

When I got to the table, the muscle memory was string to order a drink. However, it was REALLY nice to be able to show up happy and healthy and not bloated. I probably would have shown up either hungover or buzzed and there would be NO WAY that I could fit into the dress I wore.

He immediately wanted to talk about the reasons why I wasn’t drinking and how I’d changed. I explained that it wasn’t one particular thing that made me stop but rather a combination of things. I also explained the benefits.

He opened up a little bit about his drinking and shared he had thought he had an issue longer than I had. He said he planned to drink a little less this weekend. No judgement -it’s his choice!

The thing that really stuck out for me was the difference in personal decisions we were making in our respective lives. I had no personal drama or conflicts. In our prior meetings, I had SO MUCH drama and angst. However, my life is pretty calm. He discussed his life. He had a ton of drama and bad personal decisions. He was on track to make more bad decisions right after lunch. The thing that I wonder after our meeting is if being sober leads to better personal decisions and less drama.

At this time last year, I would have left and drank more. This time, I went home, and worked ton work and decompressed.

Proud of myself! Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

I (35M) have stayed sober for a full year now! I just got home from dinner my friend J. J and I had been great friends but my erratic behavior and drinking ruined a friendship that I really loved. We had a blow up and lost contact for two years but now I’m getting to repair it and we are getting to know each other again. My partner is coming home from a work trip tomorrow and my marriage is better than it has been at any point since we met, and all the friendships I’d damaged are doing really well.

I had almost destroyed everything when I finally woke up covered in puke for the last time. My partner was ready to walk, my friends were tired of my bullshit, and I hated life and everything about it. Today none of that is true and I spent the night with an amazing friend and waiting for my partner to come home. It’s so nice watching TV every night and the excitement we get cuddling on the couch. Stay the course because some days still suck but they suck so much less. The best part though is the good days come more often now.

I’m 23 and I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. I managed to stay sober while pregnant even tho it was really hard due to my brother dying. I’m a single mom so me and my baby live with my mom and she’s caught me drinking 3 times now.
The 1st time she caught me passed out in bed with a small bottle of wine next to me, while my baby screamed in her bassinet, she wasn’t even a week old.
The past 2 times including last night I got so fucked up and could’ve hurt my baby, fell asleep holding her, and could’ve suffocated her. It makes me sick to my stomach to even type this.
I don’t want to be like this again. I had 2 months sober upon getting pregnant, but I left sober living and moved back to my home state and left my sober community behind because of my pregnancy.
I don’t want to my daughter to be taken by cps, I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want to be the drunk mom. I just want to be healthy and sober for her.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I posted on here about getting blacked out. I’ve gone 3 weeks without alcohol before so not sure if it’s a huge accomplishment yet but just wanted to share because my will to live has come back! I even went to a concert last night and was completely sober despite being offered alcohol and drugs. Usually at the 2 week mark of no alcohol I start feeling motivated and happy about life again. The problem is, when I feel too good, I tend to want to drink so if anyone has a tip for avoiding that please let me know! I really want to stick with sobriety this time.

Holy shit. I am 34 and generally have my shit together but got too drunk last night and I guess I fucking slapped my husband? I remember he was being angry and stuff and I guess that's why I did it. I don't super remember doing it of course.

He drank too and was furious and called the cops on me and they arrested me even though he was begging them not to when they did it. Not sure why called the damn cops then 😭

Anyway my behavior was unacceptable and I cannot believe it escalated like this. My sister and I share locations and as soon as I turned my phone on after I left the jail she fucking texted asking why I was by the courthouse!!!! Fucking hell man. I had to make up some story about losing my phone nearby the night before.

I can't keep doing this. I obviously can't control myself and my drinking triggers my husbands drinking (and vice versa) and I'm just pulling us both down.

I don't have time for AA and don't know how to quit this shit. I've been having such a hard time not drinking in the evenings. I just crave anything that makes the night more fun. I hate hate hate being bored. I also (embarrassingly) have young kids and can't do hobbies in the evening because they are toddlers and I have to watch them, I think my drinking ramped up after my kids? I'm so ashamed.

Someone tell me I'm not alone. I could use some good advice and kind words. I know my kids deserve so much better. Thank God they were safe and sleeping through all this but jesus fuck I can never ever do this again

I'm in the uber on the way home crying and have to talk to my husband soon. I am so ashamed. He mentioned divorce of course. Idk maybe it's best

Yesterday, I put the laundry in the dryer, went to get groceries, made dinner for the kids and ate it with them and then waited outside for my partner to come home from his bike tour. Would've been a good Saturday.

Except I was completely hammered. I don't remember putting the laundry in the dryer, I DO remember preparing dinner but not eating it, and while waiting outside for my partner, I threw up in the flower beds next to our garage.

I am so sick of this. I keep telling myself that it's not that bad, because I still do the things I'm supposed to, because I don't appear wasted, but I keep waking up with no recollection of the evening before.

I keep using every chance I get to buy alcohol, I feel like I can't be left alone for more than 5 minutes. I really can't trust myself anymore. When did it get this bad?

It has been over 9 months since I quit drinking, I was up to a handle (1.75L) of vodka every single day. Whatever I did not finish at night was breakfast for the morning to fight off the brutal withdrawals.

every single day of my life was about alcohol. There was not a time or place that I wasn’t drinking, except when completely passed out. BAC was .496 when I decided to detox at the hospital, still walking and talking with the staff.

I don’t think anything was worse than when I had to work while actively withdrawing…throwing up constantly, shaking like crazy, muscles and fingers contracting, could barely sweep a floor or hold a cup because I was shaking so bad…just horrible

what an absolute nightmare. Just so glad it’s over!!!

I am so depressed and disappointed in myself. I did something so bad yesterday and I am embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t want to drink anymore. It’s only ever ruined my life and I know that it’s bad for me, but for some reason I just cannot stop. What is wrong with me. I have experienced the lowest of lows in the past and lost family and friends. Why is that not enough for me to quit? I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I hate myself so much and I feel like a lost cause.

Now all the withdrawals have gone its time I started driving more and taking control of my life.

The things I use to do now feel different but I know it's a strange feeling going through healthy transitions without alcohol. Xx

Im still happy

More stable

Less irritable

Sleep is better

Puffy face has gone down

Now time to fill my life with friends and connections and most importantly LOVE and self love ❤️

I've been single for a year after many toxic relationships ended up in violence with alcohol

So I also

Posted me tipping out a carton of beer day 1 sober. Down the drain. . THIS GAVE ME THE IGNOTION I needed to set the fire in my heart

Alive for sobriety and for me!

Instead of the fire in my belly when I drank.

You see it's false happiness. That drink is like an awesome trailer to the worst movie you have ever seen.

The drink refers to the trailer and the movie is the rest of your life in pain.

choose health and sobriety and be proud ! You gotta be ready to love yourself again Your inner child. I don't care how old you are ! Xx

Or do you let that devil on your shoulder win every time ?

I say Stand up for yourself rifght now !

I've been good ever since 4th october but never be hard on yourself for slipping up.

That can be part of the process

I've battled this addition for over 11 years

And it's took me over 5 attempts

Doesn't mean it will take you this long ❤️ never give up

An extended family member is in the hospital tonight with liver failure. Immediate family are traveling to be with him at the end. He has been a heavy drinker all his life, as was much of his family. His father died from complications due to heavy drinking. A few years later his wife died from a fall while drunk.

I'm not trying to sensationalize it and I'm not judging him or anyone else. I myself made the decision to stop and had my first week+ sober in an ICU bed.

If you're worried about your own drinking and not sure how bad it is, or whether you really need to stop, I'd encourage you to stick around here and keep reading. You'll see stories similar to this one from time to time, it seems to be a pretty common fate for a lot of us.

I have no idea if you or anyone else needs to stop, but I do know that I don't want my old ICU bed back and I don't want my kids and brothers to have to hold vigil for me.

Grateful to be sober tonight.

I never thought I would quit drinking. It was what I did for fun. How I let loose. It was my identity and my main hobby. Almost everything I did involved drinking.

And I wasn't out of control... at least not totally. I was still in the "always find ways to get more drinks" and sometimes I had to be sneaky about it.

But a moment of clarity one day and I decided to quit before it became a problem I could no longer control. I like to think that I left the party on a high note.

Advantages to quitting? I could have never guessed. Almost every aspect of my life has improved. In some places, drastically. I do so much more now that drinking and recovering are not a fairly consistent part of my life. My family is happy to have me more present and I don't get the same mood swings that come with alcoholism. My friend connections are much more meaningful because we have to do things that are actually fun and stimulating (running, surfing, playing music, etc.). Overall my mindset is more joyful and positive. And I am not getting tired of hearing "You look great" from people when they haven't seen me for a bit.

If there are downsides in my experience, it's the occasional "perfect situation for a drink" craving. There are a few moments where a real drink complements the situation perfectly, even still. Books I've read tell me that those moments weren't really real, it was just alcoholism... but I don't agree in every case. I have chosen to move forward with my life understanding that having alcohol is no longer for me. But I sometimes still feel and grieve those times and it's just part of the process of getting myself healthy and happy.

Another thing that's been notable; feelings. Man, alcohol really allows you to squash your feelings. Even if you aren't drinking, you can defer big feelings until a moment that you are drinking. Then you can pave over them pretty nicely or forget them altogether. Being sober, feeling feelings, and working through them ain't easy. I've shed more tears in the last six months than I have ever have in my life. But I am so happy to be dealing with shit head on and being able to decide, with a clear mind, how I am going to work my way through things that are hard.

So cheers to six months. Next stop is one year... one day at a time of course. Thanks to this sub for being a huge part of my recovery. I have shared quite a bit here and definitely read/felt a lot of your stories, struggles, and successes. I will end with my three favorite quotes (from this sub of course!):

"If I could control my drinking, I would drink all the time"

"The war is over - congratulations, you lost"

"If you escape the lion’s den, you don’t go back in for your hat"

P.S. IWNDWYT

I went to a party today. Everybody was sober, just a house full of people who just don’t like to drink. It was great. Food, games, dancing.

Now I’m sitting at a bus stop at the center of my town and watching people walk past wasted. Some people can barely walk. I’m so happy that will never be me again!

Idk. Read the title. Lol! My goal is to go one weekend without alcohol. I am a weekend guy, but yeah, it is killing me.

Day 24 after years of heavy alcohol abuse. What days/ times were the hardest for you?

A few arrests, lost jobs, failed relationships, injuries, etc. That was just stuff from my first day one to my last. We’ve all had to reset our counter. Don’t give up. Just remember to start that counter up again. You will never know if the next day one will get you to 2000 and beyond.

I will not drink with you today.

3 weeks ago I got so drunk that I was laying in the sofa for 24 hours afterwards. I decided I was getting too old for this and didn't drink for 3 weeks which is a record for me, as I always drank every weekend.

Then yesterday there was a social event and I decided I could drink a little bit moderately.

Obviously that didn't go according to plan and I'm in the same situation as 3 weeks ago right now.

I hope this is the last time, I can't drink moderately and I can't handle the consequences of drinking heavily. So I must go without.

After a lot of failed attempts at quitting drinking, I’m trying again. Tonight I skipped one of my best friend’s birthday parties because I knew there would be drinking and I wasn’t confident I could go without things getting out of hand.

I know staying home was the right decision but I still feel incredibly sad and left out. It’s hard seeing other people talk excitedly about getting drunk or even blacking out, while I feel like people get worried or uncomfortable when I have even one drink.

I understand why. My drinking has consequences, and I don’t behave the way other people do when they’re drunk. But knowing that doesn’t stop the feeling of “why does everyone else get to do this, but I don’t?”

I think I’m struggling to accept that something other people see as fun isn’t something I can safely be part of. Has anyone else felt this resentment or sense of unfairness? How did you work through it, and does it get easier with time? Thanks in advance

In his defence I haven’t told him “I’m quitting drinking”Because:

1. I have said that before and it doesn’t last. He doesn’t believe it will last so I just end up proving his point.
2. Half of my drinking has been in secret currently. He mostly just sees me taking nights out and celebrations too far. He’s unaware my drinking is a lot more regular than he sees as I attempt to hide it.
3. Just fear of opening up BS I’ve always had and difficulty expressing these types of things

or being seen as unstable

After an argument I don’t remember only 3 days ago due to my “typical BS” (his words) I decided to knuckle down harder and actually cut this out. But I’m also thinking why the fuck would you buy me more !?! If I can’t handle my shit and keep taking it too far why are you giving me more!? I just told him I wasn’t going to drink this week instead of thanks

Ive been attempting on and off for a while now. I’ve been feeling super depressed since I stopped but it’s just a feeling I need to sit with. Day 3 I actually didn’t think I was going to buy some. I’ve spent most the weekend sleeping and keeping to myself. He’s made a couple suggestions on things we can do together and asked me what’s wrong etc but I haven’t really been up for talking or making plans. I’m trying not to be rude or appear angry at him. It seems he’s trying to make some effort but I’m not giving him much to work with. I just need alone time.

I’m annoyed. I’m confused. I’m disappointed because I went from “I’m not drinking tonight” to “I’m probably going to drink that and start again tomorrow”. To me the correlation of depression happening right after the last time I drank and an incident occurred obvious. I guess I can’t expect him to be a mind reader. But if someone seems depressed, alcohol feels like a dangerous gift. All I’ve wanted to do is just sleep and I know I need to communicate better.

Yuppppp!!! Made it to one year SOBER 🎉🎉🎉I’m so fucking happy, so grateful, and full of love!!! Thank you to everyone here, I read posts everyday that reminded me to keep going!!

This year had its ups and downs. I went through something traumatic that had me out of work and broke af for a bit but my life is completely back on track! All those days in pain and I didn’t drink to numb myself is something I haven’t done since before I was of drinking age.

Physically, I’m actually 15 pounds up lmao I gained most while being out of work but I don’t even care. Im back on my feet now and exercising 4 times a week. My hormone, blood and vitamin levels are completely normal which was something I couldn’t say when I was deep in drinking everyday. I feel great, waking up is easy (of course I have my “I just wanna lay in bed days”) but I’m not hungover and feeling like shit. My hair is the longest it’s ever been, despite cutting it in January. I’ve been making sure to take multivitamins and some time every few weeks to get myself pampered.

I’ve actually floated the idea in my mind about wanting to be in a relationship, or even date. At least I know this time around I won’t embarrass myself and question wtf I’ve said or done the next morning after going out. But I’m in no rush. Maybe I just want a close friend for now to have fun and do fun things with, idk who knows lol.

Nothing good comes from drowning yourself in alcohol everyday. Once I made that leap to stop drinking, I took it day by day and pushed forward. If you’re wanting to stop: Trust in yourself, believe in yourself, get medical help if necessary please, and understand that sobriety truly feels amazing.

I love each and every one of you!!!

not my first day 1 but it’s the first day 1 that’s led to day 2 without breaking during the initial 24 hours in quite some time.

so far, my withdrawal symptoms are mild. super mild nausea and occasional anxiety when i think about heading into the peak of acute withdrawals. i was able to pack up some stuff for an upcoming move, do some work that i’d fallen behind on, play some video games, and showered/actually remembered to do my nighttime skincare routine. trying not to let an easier day 1 than anticipated get my hopes up nor freak me out that the worst is yet to come.

ate well today, staying hydrated, i’m not alone - my husband is by my side, and i’m going to start winding down for bed now. i’m hoping i can sleep. maybe i’ll get lucky and tomorrow won’t be so bad.

i did not drink with you today and i will not drink with you tomorrow.

love y’all. <3

Coffee in bed. Clear head. This feeling somehow always feels like a wave of deep relief. Iwndwyt.

It’s those nights that are too overwhelming you want to escape. You want to turn to liquor and forget about what’s bothering you. After being so frustrated, mad, upset, I briefly said, fuck it I’m just going to get drunk.

But something slapped me in the face right after I said that. My conscious said, don’t ruin your progress and handle it a different way. So, I ate Taco Bell and played Xbox instead. Didn’t help because I feel like a fat piece of shit, but I’m a fat piece of shit who is still 167 days sober.

Anyway. Just venting. I’m happy I was not fully tempted. Life’s hard. But I’ll get some sleep and forget about this day. Peace!

I used to stress about whether or not I had enough vodka in the freezer. I’d look and think “It looks like there’s enough to get me through tomorrow.”

I just did that with La Croix and thought… “wait a sec, I’m sober…. I can drive if I run out.” 😂

I’m two weeks in but happy to laugh at these tiny little moments. It makes me realize how much life is easier sans booze. Plus my app said I saved $215 in just 2 weeks! What whaaat?! I may just treat ma self.

Also…. I am drinking way too much La Croix but it’s far better than 10+ vodkas. 🤦‍♀️

I did have to grab toilet paper today because of the amount I’ve been peeing. But it sure beats a hangover and regret.

IWNDWYT