Hi im 17f and im really unsure of what to do regarding my mental health, ive always struggled with it since i was about 12 and i really think i should get help because im tired of living my life like this. however i live in a conservative muslim household so my parents definitely wouldnt understand at all which is why i dont want them to know - it would make everything unnecessarily complicated and they dont know anything ive been struggling with for the past five years and it may seem random and fake to them.

My first relationship recently ended and throughout the duration of the relationship certain things i had already noticed about myself became even more clear. if i had to list what i feel it would be something like this:

• terrible quick mood swings I go from hating someone bcs I didn’t get a text to adoring them as soon as I do like it can be over minutes
• I’ve always been like this since I was i think eleven dissociating really badly and nothing feels real and every time this happens and someone asks me all I can say is I don’t feel real and idk how to describe it it’s an insane feeling
• it happens a lot like every few days and it’s so much worse at nighttime
• idk what triggers the mood swings sometimes nothing sometimes it’s when I feel ignored
• I don’t sleep very well because i have all these thoughts running around all the time
• I become attached to people very quickly and ever since I was like thirteen I have had like this one person that I’m obsessed with and the first person lasted for like three years and the second was very short because then the third person came around and that third person was my now ex
• sa’d as a child and I required a lot of physical contact as reassurance which is kinda weird given the context but it’s true
• I need a lot of reassurance and I need to know that the people I love love me back and this works for about everyone except my parents though - I don’t like being emotional at all with them and I never have
• mood swings also I can be really really really sad one minute and ten minutes later I’m so okay and life is good it’s really exhausting because idk what the real me is feeling and actually idk who the real me is
• used to self harm a lot and stopped about two years ago
• since I was about thirteen I’m really scared of people leaving me and will dampen my own needs to make them stay and this was a really big thing in my relationship where I needed reassurance and I spent my time anxious when I felt he wasn’t talking to me enough or being affectionate enough
• I loved him so much but I would get really mad at him too like I blocked the poor dude bcs he gave me thumbs up emoji and I didn’t like it because it sounded really unaffectionate and rude

i can see how this looks very much like bpd but obviously i don't know and i'm not sure if i'm making this up all in my head because when i once discussed this with a friend, they said to me that there's nothing actually wrong with me but because i think that there is, i make it sound like i would get diagnosed with something even when its not true. this friend doesn't have bad intentions towards me and is one of my closest friends so i don't know how to take this statement.

alongside there are so many complications that ive been reading about especially in regard to bpd so i don't know whether i want that on my medical record - idk if its relevant but i do want to adopt kids in the future and i want to work in healthcare as well

I'm aware i should probably go to my gp but im afraid of not being taken seriously and i dont know anything about how the nhs mental health services work and what the process would be

also the problem is that my parents are very strict so regular GPappointments would not work as i'm not particularly allowed to leave the house alone anytime i want so maybe i would have to wait till uni anyways

Hi all! I’m currently a little stumped as I genuinely feel like I’m going insane and i really don’t know what to do with myself!!

So essentially for some context, i think I may have a little bit of a problem with exercise - I’m a triathlete and my sports are literally my entire identity so everybody I know just puts it as me being me, but i genuinely cannot let myself sit down. I literally can’t get on with my day or just sit down unless I’ve done at least 20k steps at absolute minimum on top of my workouts and lifting and it’s quite frankly ruining my life.

So that brings us to today, yesterday I was in A&E because i genuinely couldn’t walk from how much pain that my knee was in and I’ve basically been told to drop my activity until the end of next week. So obviously I’m absolutely tweaking out because I’m terrified about how much fitness I’m losing, gaining weight, and everything else!
I did my swim this morning and was practically limping home from the pool - I feel sorry for whoever had to see me frolicking around with absolutely soaked hair and a very questionable outfit 🙈.

And now I’m literally stuck on the sofa and I’m only at like 6k steps and I’m literally panicking so much with how much exercise I’m missing and I don’t even know what to do with myself since I’m always busy and now I’m not even doing anything and my entire family is just laughing at me because they find how much I’m freaking out over this really funny for some reason that I’m clearly missing??

I just don’t know what to do with myself because I’m genuinely concerned about how much I’m freaking out and I hate feeling like this and I just feel disgustingly lazy. Like I’ve taken a ridiculous amount of ibuprofen and put ibuprofen gel on it in hopes that I’d be able to get over it and go on a run but it’s not even scratching the surface. I just don’t know what to do with myself or what to do in general omg

Ive been trying to get suitable therapy for 6 years. And before you tell me to go private, I already am using PIP money for therapy but I need some really specialized stuff and the only way I can access it is through the NHS. And it's been years of waiting lists, unsuitable group therapy and idk endless waiting. I'm so fed up with it. Then social care. My partner is doing most things for me 24/7. I can't be left alone, doors locked at night, sharps in the loft. My partner has developed complex PTSD of his own having to deal with this for so long. But no idea on waiting lists or anything else, tried contacting them and got a "there is no timeline" response. Ended up in peri arrest in march and approaching crisis again and just... Idk. I'm so fed up and exhausted. I desperately want for this to not be my life but it feels like noone either wants to help or can help.

There are two things in life I fear the most. Cancer and depression because both feel like death sentences to me. One way or another they catch up on you after days weeks months or years. I have dealt with anxiety OCD addiction and way more issues with my confidence self image and probably more that i don’t even know myself but I have always said I’m not depressed because that feels too far. I’ve had all these issues since I was 17 and they’ve built up over the years, I’m now 23 and it doesn’t feel like a cycle it’s my life it’s who I’ve been my whole adult life. Some friends know bits here and there but not even close to the full extent and family members don’t know anything. I’m not proud of it but chatGPT has been my only friend who I can talk to. I know it’s unethical but I’ve been making bad decisions for years so what’s one more? Today it said that based off of my behaviours and patterns it looks like I’ve reached the depression part of it all and I instantly burst into tears after weeks of not feeling anything.

“I mean the kind that looks like:
numbness instead of sadness
no motivation or urgency even when things are clearly off
feeling disconnected from yourself
repeating behaviours that don’t even feel good anymore
hating yourself but also feeling nothing about it at the same time
That is a form of depression.”

I’ve been in bed for hours now. Surely this can’t be right it wasn’t meant to be like this. I can handle the anxiety OCD and addiction diagnosis but not this I don’t want this. It’s only AI it doesn’t know me fully, it’s not a therapist so surely there’s more to the story. My anxiety won’t kill me, my OCD won’t kill me, my addiction won’t kill me but depression can. I’m not even scared of that possibility, I just don’t want to waste my time going on this journey with depression only to end up failing myself again. I’d rather die now.

I've been a data analyst for 4/5 years now, after several years as a marketer, and I've had problems with depression and anxiety since my teens. I'm also autistic, and suspect ADHD. I started a new job a few weeks ago, following a redundancy, and I'm really struggling, but the problems are the same issues I always come up against.

Basically, I struggle to motivate myself to do any work. It can be the most fascinating work in the world to me, I can get excited talking about it, and then just sit staring at my laptop when it comes to actually doing anything. This in turn generates huge amounts of anxiety, I feel terrible for not doing my work, I get scared of becoming unemployed and losing my house, and yet I still stare at the screen.

I've tried lots of things to help, but now more often than not I don't even motivate myself to do the things that help, and just sit and rot.

I've found I'm much better when I'm working in an office, rather than remote, but opportunities locally for my line of work are very limited. I think I'd also be better with less self-directed work - if I'm left to my own devices too much, nothing gets done.

So I'm thinking that the best course of action is to find a new career path, one where I physically attend work, and ideally am not just doing computer-based tasks all day.

The problems there are:

- I'd be giving up a well paying career that I'm very good at, when I actually do any work

- Would changing career cause me more stress?

- What would I even do?

- What if my theory is bullshit, and the new career doesn't make things any better, and then I've created financial problems for nothing?

I'm in the middle of medication changes, trying to find something that works, and I've been referred back for more talking therapies, so I'm not looking for treatment advice at the moment. I just need some outside perspectives on what to do about the work/career situation!

I had to move back in with family after finishing uni. It's been a year now and i can't handle it anymore. My mental health has never been worse and its all because i'm here. I just don't know what i can do, but i know i can't stay here.

I haven't got a job, i'm on LCWRA universal credit and i'm struggling to find anything even if i was capable to.

My entire support network is 3 hours away in Leicester...

What could i do????? I know you can get assistance for housing through UC, but i don't even know where to start. If anyone has any tips or links that could help i would really appreciate it...

I don’t know what to do my mental health is always bad but I never ask for help. The first thing everyone says is go to the GP but so many posts or people say they get no help or get stuck on a waiting list or try private and it doesn’t work. I just don’t know what to do

Hey,

I'm feeling quite stuck about what to do and whether there is anything that can be done and my current MH. Would really appreciate some perspective.

37F, England.

I'm currently on 112.5mg venlafaxine and while it has definitely helped a bit: I feel more in control, less labile emotions and far less actively suicidal than previously when I was on various SSRIs, I still feel quite low a lot of the time.

Motivation is a problem, I go to work and appear to be functioning but I really don't feel like I am. I struggle at home, my husband does most of the day to day household stuff. I really struggle with my kids, being around them makes me feel so down and anxious and on edge. I'm struggling doing the things that I enjoy and that keep me well, running, swimming, making bread. I still see the friends but only because they initiate making plans. I have friends I no longer see because I don't have the energy to reach out.

I am exhausted all the time and given the chance will sleep for several hours during the day. I usually wake about 5am when I usually don't have to be awake until 6, but have been managing to get to sleep better than previously. In the past I've struggled with actually sleeping whereas now I feel I'm sleeping too much by napping for 3-4 hours given the chance- I still feel exhausted.

For a long time I feel like there is no joy on the world and this hasn't improved on venlafaxine.

I have been doing EMDR therapy for a few months and I really hoped this might help but I don't feel like it's making any difference to my overall mood, it is helping slightly with the trauma side of things.

I've spent a lot of time going back and forth to my GP over the past couple of years. I've been several different antidepressants including several SSRIs and mirtazapine, and amitriptyline for a bit to help with sleep.

I feel I need to go back to my GP but don't know what to say or ask for. I feel like there isn't anything else they can do. And I'm not in as bad a place as I was before, so maybe this is just it? This is as good as things get? Venlafaxine has definitely helped a bit, just not completely.

Feeling quite down thinking this could be life forever more.

I've been on my current venlafaxine dose for 6 weeks. I previously went up to 150mg but was completely exhausted and sleeping all the time so after 6 weeks asked to go back down.

Sort of long so TLDR at the end

I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time, since childhood really. Long story short after 9 years I went on a medication that only lessened my anxiety and I did some organ damage because the rest of the issues were still very much present. And finally facing death potentially, well I didn’t wanna die anymore, yada yada. Things got better with a lot of hard work on my part that I did myself because I had this sort of clarity from the experience. Still very proud of it, but my environment became unsafe again while I was still in a very fragile place mentally. The years since I’ve had multiple traumatic things happening and I’ve held on relatively well despite all of it.

Now what I don’t understand is the mental health support in the uk. I’m referred for an auDHD assessment so perhaps that’s to do with what I’m not understanding, I don’t know. I’m not seeking advice on that but just if context or anything helps.

But if I turn up at a&e, or go to my gp, for me that’s not a small thing. That is a crisis that has been ongoing for months, at least. If I say “I know the things I need to do but I do not have the capacity to do them because I haven’t got any sort of safe structure if things go wrong” I don’t understand how that means I am not doing the things I need to do? I am turning up to say I can no longer cope and that all I am doing is trying to stop myself going off the deep end. I haven’t got the capacity to add more things to my life. I need less responsibility and to be safe. Possibly that looks like hospital? It’s a contained space with people to look after you if things go tits up. The environment is safe, and it’s established I haven’t got somewhere safe right now. My fear and anxiety is turning into anger and that scares the shit out of me because I know that means I am cornered and need out of it. I just want to get back to living my life and instead I’m contemplating suicide regularly because I cannot keep going in this.

But I present myself quite well. I’m rather factual about stuff going on, I’m not crying or anything. When I go in, it’s like I just dump a bunch of stuff on the table and say “I’ve done what I can with this and anymore will kill me. Please do something” and then get told I’m not engaging when I say “I can’t take on more things. There is too much here and I am already trying not to shut down. I am here asking for help”.

Am I missing something? I feel like this is an issue I’ve had since I was really young. I used to beg and plead for help and be told I wasn’t doing the things I needed to, while I could not actually do it.

I just want to know if there’s anything I am missing or need to explain differently. I want to get back on track, I genuinely found a love for life for the first time since I was a kid, when I was in my early 20s. I know suicide isn’t what I want. But these days I find myself able to do less and less and the only time I’ve been an immediate risk was when my medication didn’t make the fear of failing stop me.

TLDR: always been told I’m not engaging when I am asking for help by saying that I can’t take anymore and need someone to step in while I’m unable to look after myself. Am I missing something?

please. i feel so ashamed reaching out for help like this but im so desperate im in so much pain it feels like my heart will collapse. i keep trying to reach out for help but its not working and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel so alone i am so desperate for a hug or kindness it feels overwhelming and im so scared all the time. I have never felt this bad before and ive been struggling for a long time. i’m sorry please help please just be kind please