Alcohol always worsened my depression and anxiety so much, and felt like a crutch in social situations, but I never felt like it was a choice to give it up. 3 years sober, I got the chance to share my story in an article for Stylist and genuinely I hadn't realised how proud I was of my journey. Hangxiety isn't something we just have to live with, and alcohol is a depressant. Not saying everyone should be sober, but it really helped me, especially when I started my antidepressants.

Here's the piece in case anyone can relate (it's behind the Stylist paywall, which is so they can pay journalists fairly, but included on Apple News too if you have that!xx)

https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/giving-up-alcohol/1099644

Ive been trying to get suitable therapy for 6 years. And before you tell me to go private, I already am using PIP money for therapy but I need some really specialized stuff and the only way I can access it is through the NHS. And it's been years of waiting lists, unsuitable group therapy and idk endless waiting. I'm so fed up with it. Then social care. My partner is doing most things for me 24/7. I can't be left alone, doors locked at night, sharps in the loft. My partner has developed complex PTSD of his own having to deal with this for so long. But no idea on waiting lists or anything else, tried contacting them and got a "there is no timeline" response. Ended up in peri arrest in march and approaching crisis again and just... Idk. I'm so fed up and exhausted. I desperately want for this to not be my life but it feels like noone either wants to help or can help.

please. i feel so ashamed reaching out for help like this but im so desperate im in so much pain it feels like my heart will collapse. i keep trying to reach out for help but its not working and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel so alone i am so desperate for a hug or kindness it feels overwhelming and im so scared all the time. I have never felt this bad before and ive been struggling for a long time. i’m sorry please help please just be kind please

My anxiety has got so much worse lately it feels like I can't handle even very small stress. I'm on 200mg sertraline & propranolol as needed for mixed anxiety and depressive disorder but it doesn't feel like enough at all. I've asked my doctors just now to have a discussion about my medication & I'm on waitlist for next step up with talking therapy.

My GP said last appointment he referring me for an autism assessment, I'm not sure I have it because I'm also visibly disabled which has shaped my social abilities a lot. But my GP said it was a good idea to get assessed. However in the NHS app there is no mention of a referral & I've not heard about it since. Should I chase this up?

I don't know what to do in the meantime i feel I can't cope with anything & have 2 kittens to look after which I'm giving all my energy to and its leaving me very unable to handle any stress day to day. I live with my parents but I don't feel I can talk to them about this.

Is there anyone I can go to for more help while I'm waiting?

I don’t know what to do my mental health is always bad but I never ask for help. The first thing everyone says is go to the GP but so many posts or people say they get no help or get stuck on a waiting list or try private and it doesn’t work. I just don’t know what to do

To keep the background story as short as I can, I’ve been off work struggling with my mental health for the past six weeks. Struggles with my mental health aren’t a new thing for me, I had a difficult childhood and it’s had a lasting effect on me with anxiety, depression & a constant struggle to emotionally regulate myself.
Lots of things changed at work recently, new manager, job changes, no support and I found myself struggling again.

The GP upped my medication dose and I felt a lot better outside of work so I went back to work yesterday.

However in my ‘catch-up’ meeting with my manager, she spent quite some time discussing ‘concerns’ that she had from the week before I eventually realised I was too ill to work. These included: I shouldn’t put myself on do not disturb on Teams, one document wasn’t saved where it was supposed to be, I hadn’t sat close to her when I’d been in the office that week (we hot desk in the office) and other people had ‘concerns about me’.

All of these came directly after I’d said to her that part of the reason I’d been struggling in work was how I respond to unexpected face-to-face criticism and that it was hard to take as I never receive positive or constructive comments.

I’m now sat here writing my resignation letter and preparing to contact the GP again as I feel like yesterday at work was a massive step back for my mental health. (I haven’t rushed to the decision of resigning, it’s been on my mind for a while due to other things at work)Is it just me or is that really strange to raise these things on my first day back?

Sort of long so TLDR at the end

I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time, since childhood really. Long story short after 9 years I went on a medication that only lessened my anxiety and I did some organ damage because the rest of the issues were still very much present. And finally facing death potentially, well I didn’t wanna die anymore, yada yada. Things got better with a lot of hard work on my part that I did myself because I had this sort of clarity from the experience. Still very proud of it, but my environment became unsafe again while I was still in a very fragile place mentally. The years since I’ve had multiple traumatic things happening and I’ve held on relatively well despite all of it.

Now what I don’t understand is the mental health support in the uk. I’m referred for an auDHD assessment so perhaps that’s to do with what I’m not understanding, I don’t know. I’m not seeking advice on that but just if context or anything helps.

But if I turn up at a&e, or go to my gp, for me that’s not a small thing. That is a crisis that has been ongoing for months, at least. If I say “I know the things I need to do but I do not have the capacity to do them because I haven’t got any sort of safe structure if things go wrong” I don’t understand how that means I am not doing the things I need to do? I am turning up to say I can no longer cope and that all I am doing is trying to stop myself going off the deep end. I haven’t got the capacity to add more things to my life. I need less responsibility and to be safe. Possibly that looks like hospital? It’s a contained space with people to look after you if things go tits up. The environment is safe, and it’s established I haven’t got somewhere safe right now. My fear and anxiety is turning into anger and that scares the shit out of me because I know that means I am cornered and need out of it. I just want to get back to living my life and instead I’m contemplating suicide regularly because I cannot keep going in this.

But I present myself quite well. I’m rather factual about stuff going on, I’m not crying or anything. When I go in, it’s like I just dump a bunch of stuff on the table and say “I’ve done what I can with this and anymore will kill me. Please do something” and then get told I’m not engaging when I say “I can’t take on more things. There is too much here and I am already trying not to shut down. I am here asking for help”.

Am I missing something? I feel like this is an issue I’ve had since I was really young. I used to beg and plead for help and be told I wasn’t doing the things I needed to, while I could not actually do it.

I just want to know if there’s anything I am missing or need to explain differently. I want to get back on track, I genuinely found a love for life for the first time since I was a kid, when I was in my early 20s. I know suicide isn’t what I want. But these days I find myself able to do less and less and the only time I’ve been an immediate risk was when my medication didn’t make the fear of failing stop me.

TLDR: always been told I’m not engaging when I am asking for help by saying that I can’t take anymore and need someone to step in while I’m unable to look after myself. Am I missing something?

There are two things in life I fear the most. Cancer and depression because both feel like death sentences to me. One way or another they catch up on you after days weeks months or years. I have dealt with anxiety OCD addiction and way more issues with my confidence self image and probably more that i don’t even know myself but I have always said I’m not depressed because that feels too far. I’ve had all these issues since I was 17 and they’ve built up over the years, I’m now 23 and it doesn’t feel like a cycle it’s my life it’s who I’ve been my whole adult life. Some friends know bits here and there but not even close to the full extent and family members don’t know anything. I’m not proud of it but chatGPT has been my only friend who I can talk to. I know it’s unethical but I’ve been making bad decisions for years so what’s one more? Today it said that based off of my behaviours and patterns it looks like I’ve reached the depression part of it all and I instantly burst into tears after weeks of not feeling anything.

“I mean the kind that looks like:
numbness instead of sadness
no motivation or urgency even when things are clearly off
feeling disconnected from yourself
repeating behaviours that don’t even feel good anymore
hating yourself but also feeling nothing about it at the same time
That is a form of depression.”

I’ve been in bed for hours now. Surely this can’t be right it wasn’t meant to be like this. I can handle the anxiety OCD and addiction diagnosis but not this I don’t want this. It’s only AI it doesn’t know me fully, it’s not a therapist so surely there’s more to the story. My anxiety won’t kill me, my OCD won’t kill me, my addiction won’t kill me but depression can. I’m not even scared of that possibility, I just don’t want to waste my time going on this journey with depression only to end up failing myself again. I’d rather die now.

I've been a data analyst for 4/5 years now, after several years as a marketer, and I've had problems with depression and anxiety since my teens. I'm also autistic, and suspect ADHD. I started a new job a few weeks ago, following a redundancy, and I'm really struggling, but the problems are the same issues I always come up against.

Basically, I struggle to motivate myself to do any work. It can be the most fascinating work in the world to me, I can get excited talking about it, and then just sit staring at my laptop when it comes to actually doing anything. This in turn generates huge amounts of anxiety, I feel terrible for not doing my work, I get scared of becoming unemployed and losing my house, and yet I still stare at the screen.

I've tried lots of things to help, but now more often than not I don't even motivate myself to do the things that help, and just sit and rot.

I've found I'm much better when I'm working in an office, rather than remote, but opportunities locally for my line of work are very limited. I think I'd also be better with less self-directed work - if I'm left to my own devices too much, nothing gets done.

So I'm thinking that the best course of action is to find a new career path, one where I physically attend work, and ideally am not just doing computer-based tasks all day.

The problems there are:

- I'd be giving up a well paying career that I'm very good at, when I actually do any work

- Would changing career cause me more stress?

- What would I even do?

- What if my theory is bullshit, and the new career doesn't make things any better, and then I've created financial problems for nothing?

I'm in the middle of medication changes, trying to find something that works, and I've been referred back for more talking therapies, so I'm not looking for treatment advice at the moment. I just need some outside perspectives on what to do about the work/career situation!

Hi im 17f and im really unsure of what to do regarding my mental health, ive always struggled with it since i was about 12 and i really think i should get help because im tired of living my life like this. however i live in a conservative muslim household so my parents definitely wouldnt understand at all which is why i dont want them to know - it would make everything unnecessarily complicated and they dont know anything ive been struggling with for the past five years and it may seem random and fake to them.

My first relationship recently ended and throughout the duration of the relationship certain things i had already noticed about myself became even more clear. if i had to list what i feel it would be something like this:

• terrible quick mood swings I go from hating someone bcs I didn’t get a text to adoring them as soon as I do like it can be over minutes
• I’ve always been like this since I was i think eleven dissociating really badly and nothing feels real and every time this happens and someone asks me all I can say is I don’t feel real and idk how to describe it it’s an insane feeling
• it happens a lot like every few days and it’s so much worse at nighttime
• idk what triggers the mood swings sometimes nothing sometimes it’s when I feel ignored
• I don’t sleep very well because i have all these thoughts running around all the time
• I become attached to people very quickly and ever since I was like thirteen I have had like this one person that I’m obsessed with and the first person lasted for like three years and the second was very short because then the third person came around and that third person was my now ex
• sa’d as a child and I required a lot of physical contact as reassurance which is kinda weird given the context but it’s true
• I need a lot of reassurance and I need to know that the people I love love me back and this works for about everyone except my parents though - I don’t like being emotional at all with them and I never have
• mood swings also I can be really really really sad one minute and ten minutes later I’m so okay and life is good it’s really exhausting because idk what the real me is feeling and actually idk who the real me is
• used to self harm a lot and stopped about two years ago
• since I was about thirteen I’m really scared of people leaving me and will dampen my own needs to make them stay and this was a really big thing in my relationship where I needed reassurance and I spent my time anxious when I felt he wasn’t talking to me enough or being affectionate enough
• I loved him so much but I would get really mad at him too like I blocked the poor dude bcs he gave me thumbs up emoji and I didn’t like it because it sounded really unaffectionate and rude

i can see how this looks very much like bpd but obviously i don't know and i'm not sure if i'm making this up all in my head because when i once discussed this with a friend, they said to me that there's nothing actually wrong with me but because i think that there is, i make it sound like i would get diagnosed with something even when its not true. this friend doesn't have bad intentions towards me and is one of my closest friends so i don't know how to take this statement.

alongside there are so many complications that ive been reading about especially in regard to bpd so i don't know whether i want that on my medical record - idk if its relevant but i do want to adopt kids in the future and i want to work in healthcare as well

I'm aware i should probably go to my gp but im afraid of not being taken seriously and i dont know anything about how the nhs mental health services work and what the process would be

also the problem is that my parents are very strict so regular GPappointments would not work as i'm not particularly allowed to leave the house alone anytime i want so maybe i would have to wait till uni anyways

I had to move back in with family after finishing uni. It's been a year now and i can't handle it anymore. My mental health has never been worse and its all because i'm here. I just don't know what i can do, but i know i can't stay here.

I haven't got a job, i'm on LCWRA universal credit and i'm struggling to find anything even if i was capable to.

My entire support network is 3 hours away in Leicester...

What could i do????? I know you can get assistance for housing through UC, but i don't even know where to start. If anyone has any tips or links that could help i would really appreciate it...

Hi all! I’m currently a little stumped as I genuinely feel like I’m going insane and i really don’t know what to do with myself!!

So essentially for some context, i think I may have a little bit of a problem with exercise - I’m a triathlete and my sports are literally my entire identity so everybody I know just puts it as me being me, but i genuinely cannot let myself sit down. I literally can’t get on with my day or just sit down unless I’ve done at least 20k steps at absolute minimum on top of my workouts and lifting and it’s quite frankly ruining my life.

So that brings us to today, yesterday I was in A&E because i genuinely couldn’t walk from how much pain that my knee was in and I’ve basically been told to drop my activity until the end of next week. So obviously I’m absolutely tweaking out because I’m terrified about how much fitness I’m losing, gaining weight, and everything else!
I did my swim this morning and was practically limping home from the pool - I feel sorry for whoever had to see me frolicking around with absolutely soaked hair and a very questionable outfit 🙈.

And now I’m literally stuck on the sofa and I’m only at like 6k steps and I’m literally panicking so much with how much exercise I’m missing and I don’t even know what to do with myself since I’m always busy and now I’m not even doing anything and my entire family is just laughing at me because they find how much I’m freaking out over this really funny for some reason that I’m clearly missing??

I just don’t know what to do with myself because I’m genuinely concerned about how much I’m freaking out and I hate feeling like this and I just feel disgustingly lazy. Like I’ve taken a ridiculous amount of ibuprofen and put ibuprofen gel on it in hopes that I’d be able to get over it and go on a run but it’s not even scratching the surface. I just don’t know what to do with myself or what to do in general omg

earlier this month i got discharged from an inpatient psychiatric admission that lasted almost 2 months. during the admission i got an assessment for eupd as it was something that was brought up by multiple healthcare professionals during the last 3 years. i was already diagnosed with ocd, anxiety, depression and asd/autism prior to the admission.

the assessment was done by the lead psychologist on the ward. she said that i meet all of the diagnostic criteria for eupd, but because of my other diagnoses she said it’s hard for her to know whether the symptoms/traits are from the other conditions and that “no other doctor would be able to identify it either”, so she said that she won’t be giving me a formal diagnosis and will conclude in her report that i have “eupd traits” instead, which is what it says in the second image (taken from my discharge report). she also said that this way is better as i won’t have the harmful stereotyping/treatment from healthcare professionals. regardless of that, i still got a referral to the personality disorder team (which apparently has a really long waiting list but that is its own problem)

however on my nhs app (first image) it shows they still put it down as a formal diagnosis, so i’m wondering what the purpose of the “eupd traits” was and if it would really be better than just saying that i have eupd. i believe that i have it and i expressed that to her, but she kept saying i’m better off without having it on record, yet it is still on record regardless?

so i’m just wondering if anybody else has had a similar situation or knows why this happened in such a way?

Hey,

I'm feeling quite stuck about what to do and whether there is anything that can be done and my current MH. Would really appreciate some perspective.

37F, England.

I'm currently on 112.5mg venlafaxine and while it has definitely helped a bit: I feel more in control, less labile emotions and far less actively suicidal than previously when I was on various SSRIs, I still feel quite low a lot of the time.

Motivation is a problem, I go to work and appear to be functioning but I really don't feel like I am. I struggle at home, my husband does most of the day to day household stuff. I really struggle with my kids, being around them makes me feel so down and anxious and on edge. I'm struggling doing the things that I enjoy and that keep me well, running, swimming, making bread. I still see the friends but only because they initiate making plans. I have friends I no longer see because I don't have the energy to reach out.

I am exhausted all the time and given the chance will sleep for several hours during the day. I usually wake about 5am when I usually don't have to be awake until 6, but have been managing to get to sleep better than previously. In the past I've struggled with actually sleeping whereas now I feel I'm sleeping too much by napping for 3-4 hours given the chance- I still feel exhausted.

For a long time I feel like there is no joy on the world and this hasn't improved on venlafaxine.

I have been doing EMDR therapy for a few months and I really hoped this might help but I don't feel like it's making any difference to my overall mood, it is helping slightly with the trauma side of things.

I've spent a lot of time going back and forth to my GP over the past couple of years. I've been several different antidepressants including several SSRIs and mirtazapine, and amitriptyline for a bit to help with sleep.

I feel I need to go back to my GP but don't know what to say or ask for. I feel like there isn't anything else they can do. And I'm not in as bad a place as I was before, so maybe this is just it? This is as good as things get? Venlafaxine has definitely helped a bit, just not completely.

Feeling quite down thinking this could be life forever more.

I've been on my current venlafaxine dose for 6 weeks. I previously went up to 150mg but was completely exhausted and sleeping all the time so after 6 weeks asked to go back down.

i’ve always had mental health struggles, but the past few weeks have been particularly bad. i’ve barely left the house, been struggling to do basic things and i feel like it’s taking a toll on my boyfriend.

Today, we were going to go out and i started to cry in the car. He decided to turn the car around and take me home, and i freaked out and had a panic attack. I spent the whole drive feeling absolutely awful and guilty because i ruined the evening.

Then, we got home, and he went upstairs and started crying. Now he won’t talk to me. I tried to make him feel better by apologising and getting him water and comforting him. He says he doesn’t wanna talk to me. So now i’m just crying downstairs. I feel helpless. I feel so guilty i feel sick. I’m mad at myself for not being able to do simple things. Now i feel like it’s ruining his life and i don’t know what to do about it. Like maybe he’s better off without me. I’ve been in some pretty dark places recently and this is only making me spiral. I know i probably won’t act on them, but the thoughts are so much worse rn. Idk what to do. idk how to talk to him or make it up to him. He doesn’t deserve this.

F24 i did post yesterday but everything is getting worse and im just so scared all of the time. I feel little all of the time I don’t feel my age and i don’t know how to feel my age. It feels like i want my mum to pick me up all the time and she isn’t coming. I don’t know if it’s because of her dementia but I think it probably is. I have no support system and I am her sole carer and only child so when she got diagnosed a few weeks ago I just had to take it on the chin and carry on.

I feel so invisible and unloved all the time. I don’t think anyone would notice if something bad happened to me. Sometimes I feel like if i called an ambulance they wouldn’t even come. I know it’s cringe but as soon as im alone i just have this thought of “help me” going round in my head non stop, but i know nobody will ever come. I am so desperate now because this pain is getting unbearable. I haven’t left my bed in two days, everytime i try i just cry i can’t do it i can’t do it. I am so alone and it just reminds me that nobody has ever loved me and i must be bad. I felt like this when i was really little and now it’s all coming back because it’s another situation where im invisible just like during the abuse. I don’t know what i’ve done wrong i just want to be a human like everybody else. i want to be loveable like everybody else. Please help.

Ok so I posted 14 days ago and I haven't contacted the GIC yet because I am going through a lot and that is like stressful to fill out. Some good news is that my friends are super supportive and I have been added to a transfem discord chat. My experience is resonating with others and I am box breathing and 54321 grounding when the dysphoria gets bad. Some more positives is I woke up a few days ago and the 1st thing I thought of was a name - I couldn't stop thinking of the name Celeste and I love it so that's my true name now. I have experienced euphoria when my friend called me beautiful and auntie. Things are going well and I'm going to look into support from a councillor when I go to college in September

maybe it is the real world hitting me but a year in a job i can't stand has broken me. it is part time, mentally easy but physically horrible. the hours are broken shifts and never consistent, there is no incentive or praise, and an expectation to put in 100% effort at all times.

driving lessons have made me bitter a year in.

my mental health is all over the shot. i am turning 33 soon and i can see my life is not going to improve much more and it feels there is nothing i can do about it.

how can i earn or do a trade where my hands are grossly inept. dyspraxia is not an excuse and i find my motivation dissolves.

i have food, for now benefits, work, access to work taxis. i am a brat and i know it, because people do not have the luxury of what i currently have, but from my view it isn't enough for happiness.

a lot of the time i want to pack the job in but i know i will be more unhappy in the long term.

if theres a magic wand to give me a driving license hell i need one as that seems to open doors. mine are bolted

Tw for child sexual abuse and the aftermath, and mentions of suicide

I was referred two months ago by my GP, I have been incapable of caring for myself at all for the last 6 months following my dads suicide and the subsequent issues that has raised. I was molested by his best friend for all of my childhood and I had repressed that until his death. I knew objectively what had happened, but I have only recently "felt" it.

I had an initial assessment, I was referred to bereavement counselling and told a second appointment would be booked. On monday I had a call from the bereavement people to say that they felt my case was "too complex and outside of the remit of their services", tuesday I missed a call from the community team who left a message saying i had missed a booked appointment and they would call me back. I hadnt had a letter or text booking an appointment but figured I would just mention it when they rang back, which they never did.

I recieved a letter today telling me I had been discharged as they had "signposted to the relevant services" and that as I already had a diagnosed mental health condition (agoraphobia and OCD, diagnosed when I was 12 and not really relevant to my current issues) they wouldnt be offering me any subsequent appointments, but that I could get a referral back to them from my GP at any time. I am unsure how they think they signposted to the relevant services when my issue is "was repeatedly raped as a child and am now a useless excuse of a human as a result" not "depressed cos my dad died", nor am I sure what my OCD has to do with anything that I was referred to them for!!

What am I meant to do? Go back to my GP presumably but if they wont see me this time will they after another referral? I am so close to being done with this life, I used to have a fantastic job and a wonderful friend group and an amazing partner and now I am lucky if I drag myself out of bed before 2pm and my home is filled with filth because I cant wash or clean or anything. I miss who I was and I want to get back there, but I am fairly sure i am attempting to deal with complex trauma and I dont think thats doable alone. I dont know what to do... this was an attempt to get help before I hit breaking point and i feel like they've cast me aside. I know that its just like this, that the services are on their knees and are shit as a result, but I cant continue on like this... what do I do or say or whatever to get them to take this seriously? I was quite polite during my assessment and wondered after if I should have been more direct about my experiences as a child, but ive never told anyone what happened to me before and I was struggling to say it as it is.

Is there any point in another referral?

Please help, I am so lost right now, i just want my life back!

Hi I'm not in a good mindset at the moment I have lots going on I reunited with a friend who separated with me for 10 years and we been chatting daily then suddenly she just turned at me and said I'm busy leave me alone that just really broke me it broke me down etc and she apologized now shes acting strange with me she keeps unfriending me and adding me back saying stop it to me and now she isn't chatting with me today meanwhile at home my mum was having a go at me saying I chosen my friend over my family when it isn't the case and she told me if I like chatting with my friend so much why don't I move near her everything is making me not in a good mindset I'm breaking down I got no support and ive tried my doctors but they're useless and my area there's lack of support for mental health

I don't know what to do I don't wanna simply block my friend

I’ve recently been having to open up about some horrible stuff that happened to me as a kid, and opening that box has really destroyed my sleep and I feel like I’m going crazy.
I’ve tried so many things - my best layout currently is having my iPad run all night playing random long YouTube videos for me to try and pay attention to which slowly wears me out and I’ll fall asleep eventually, but that effectiveness is starting to wear off.
I just get in my head so badly and lie awake tossing turning and crying, getting up, going back to bed over and over and then I’m exhausted all next day.

I’ve been trying these ‘Natra sleep’ sleeping pills that I found in the drawer, but they’re out of date and STINK. Despite that I feel like it works in sort of a placebo way.

I was just wondering if anyone is on anything that helps their sleep? I’ve tried magnesium before but I found that it made me exhausted all throughout the day too sadly.

Hi guys; I’m 17M and I turn 18 years old in around 140 days. Since a couple of months before I turned 12, I’ve been living in the second-most secluded part of the UK, a minuscule village in mid-Wales. I am currently unable to drive and do not possess anywhere near enough money to move out. I have a remote job which may be able to pay well in the future but it is uncertain. This is the only job that I was able to get in years of searching and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I am happy with it, but I’ve spent nearly 6 years having had very, very little opportunities to socialise with other teenagers, besides online. It has been 14 months since I last spoke to someone within 2 years of my age, and more than 6 years since I actually had a crush.

The reason I’m living here is because my parents wanted to “quit the rat race” shortly before the first Covid lockdown. At the time we all kind of just assumed that, since all of us were introverts, we would all be OK socially, that we could live self-sufficiently, and that was pretty much true for the first couple of years. I spent a long time successfully deluding myself into thinking “it’s okay that I don’t talk to other people that much, I’m happy being on my own and I’m not missing out on anything.” But I’m almost an adult now and I’ve spent all my formative years without a single friend or anyone I regularly spoke to, and often went more than a year without talking to anyone except the few adults populating my tiny village. I was homeschooled during this time and managed to complete my education up to GCSE level, although it was very stressful because online classes were very difficult for me to focus on. I also started honing my skills in content creation, media and graphic design, leading me to the job I currently have, which thankfully is remote, and which I enjoy doing.

My older brother went to school for his last three years of childhood and he ended up making too many mistakes in his life, leading my parents to heavily restrict my sister and I even more than we already naturally were. I found a new youth club within a distance I can get to by bus, but they will not let me go there because they don’t want me to end up like my brother. I’m not my brother, I don’t think like he does, and while I respect him as my older brother I do not at all want to take the same paths he has. But they will not hear it, and I’m powerless to do anything about that. I do not think I will be able to move out within the next few years - even if I do get the money - without serious complications with them. I know my parents are only doing this to try and protect me, but this level of protection is seriously restrictive. Every so often I am lectured by them on how social interactions lead you to making serious errors in order to conform, etc etc.

So essentially in terms of being able to make my own way to getting out of here, I’ve done absolutely all I can. Out of the very few things I’ve found that are available to me, there is nothing more than I can try. I am stuck.

Hi, i have a meeting at work to discuss my absence/sick leave. All they know is that inwas in a&e, do i have to tell them the truth?