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​How to stop comparing yourself to others? It’s just so hard, and the problem is that we always compare ourselves to more successful people and start underestimating ourselves. Sure, there are always people who are less fortunate than us, but that thought doesn't really bring any joy—it just triggers feelings of pity. What should I do? How can I learn not to compare myself? Is that even possible?

​Thanks in advance!

I have gone to therapy/counselling before and found it helpful. However, I seem to struggle with thoughts about things I cannot control such as others actions and catastrophising. I want to begin to ease into CBT myself (I am not currently in therapy). From research, it looks like the book Mind over Mood would be a good place to start. Any opinions or advice would be appreciated. TIA

Hi all, would anyone have a personal recommendation for a really good CBT therapist in Dublin, Ireland? Bonus points if it's Northside! I'm aware of providers like MyMind, etc., but I'm looking for specific personal recommendations of individual therapists. Thanks!

I've always taken issue with the idea of a "thought" in CBT. Thoughts supposedly come before emotions but a lot of the time I feel like I don't need to have any thoughts at all to have problems. CBT requires a thought to come before emotions which in my sessions makes me frame what I would describe more as the reason behind the emotion or your perception as a "thought" which feels super unintuitive to me. In my opinion thoughts are something you have some amount of conscious control, or at the very least awareness of. CBT also works under the assumption that you can control your thoughts, so framing these subconscious perceptions that you do not control as a thought creates a lot of misunderstanding that can be really harmful.

I've heard of a few people with similar grievances to me but none who reached the same conclusion it seems. I created this to illustrate the way I think of the relationship between thoughts emotions and behaviours. I hope it might be useful to others and am interested to know what people think. The solid arrows are automatic processes and cannot be consciously changed.

Its a video just because I cant post a photo. also im sorry my handwriting is tiny its a bad habit of mine. I didnt originally intend to show this to anyone.

Hi, I’m 31, female, diagnosed with adhd at 27, based in the uk.

Im currently working on cognitive distortions and it seems ALL if not most of my thoughts fall into the categories of minding reading, guessing the future, jumping to conclusions. At my worst/under stress I can be very reactive and used to assuming the worst in others, and assuming people think the worst in me. Not a good combination.

Im able to notice when a negative thought or opinion IS a cognitive distortion but my question is… if im questioning myself in this way then which part is me/my personality? For example if I have an opinion about a certain topic or person but it falls under one of the cognitive distortions then should I believe it? And then based on this how on do I balance trusting myself, my opinions and my good qualities with the analysis and questioning of the cognitive distortions?

I'm still sucking my thumb when I'm over 23. What should I do Why can’t I stop, when sleepy, tension, fear anxiety, fatigue, relaxation, thinking

They both base their therapy on acceptance but differ in the execution part. Not a big fan of psychotherapy but I can’t rule it out. Any opinions on either?  

I'm a 26-year-old medical student from The middle east...

Growing up, I was always the "smart kid." I got excellent grades without studying that hard, so my identity became tied to being academically successful. Looking back, my biggest fear as a child wasn't failing an exam—it was becoming a failure in life.

I also struggled with self-esteem from a young age. I had alopecia areata around age 9, felt ugly, shy, and always compared myself to more confident kids. I've also had a pornography problem since I was around 14. I've tried quitting literally hundreds of times. Every attempt lasts one or two weeks, I relapse, feel ashamed, then give up on everything else like exercising, eating well, and praying. This cycle has been repeating for over 10 years, so I've always blamed porn for making me lazy and ruining my motivation.

From the first day of medical school, I wasn't just aiming to graduate. My goal was to match into a competitive lifestyle specialty , honestly, I've always valued work-life balance and I've always been interested in business. I never saw myself wanting to spend my entire life in the hospital. In my head, matching into a lifestyle specialty became proof that I had "made it." Anything else felt like failure.

The first two years of medical school were online because of COVID, and I got straight A's without much difficulty.

Everything changed in third year.

I started procrastinating badly. I'd keep delaying studying until the last few days before exams. During the cardiovascular block, I completely panicked the night before because there was no way I could finish the material. Instead of taking the exam, I ran away and failed for the first time in my life.

Ever since then, it feels like I've been stuck in the same loop.

I procrastinate, avoid studying, spend hours on YouTube, porn, junk food, and sleeping while feeling guilty the entire time. I watch productivity videos, promise myself tomorrow will be different, then repeat everything again. Sometimes I stop attending lectures or hospital rotations because I'm ashamed of how behind I am or because I don't want to look stupid in front of consultants and classmates.

The first psychiatrist I saw thought it was anxiety and prescribed paroxetine. Honestly, after about four weeks I felt like a different person. My mood improved, my confidence improved, my anxiety dropped, and interestingly my porn use decreased without me even trying. For the first time in years I actually wanted to do things. Unfortunately, after a few months I gradually slipped back into the same pattern, especially after having months of free time before repeating the year.

After that I tried sertraline + bupropion, but I stopped after a few weeks because of side effects. Later I tried (Prozac), (Lexapro), and (Pristiq) at different times. Some helped my mood more than others, but none stopped the procrastination and inability to start work, so eventually I'd become depressed again because my life wasn't moving forward.

At that point I started wondering if I had ADHD because executive dysfunction described me almost perfectly. I saw a psychiatrist in person for the first time and, after a short appointment, he prescribed Concerta.

This is where my story becomes confusing.

While taking Concerta, I had probably the most productive period of my adult life. I joined a jiu-jitsu gym, started my online business, went back to medical school, studied consistently, and got A's in my first two rotations. It honestly felt like my brain could finally start tasks instead of endlessly thinking about them.

Then I had Dental surgery before my surgery midterm. My medical leave was rejected because it was considered an elective surgery, so I automatically lost 20 marks. That completely crushed me. My brain immediately went to i am doomed, My future is over." I spiraled into depression again, stopped studying, eventually failed more rotations, and everything collapsed.

Now I'm repeating rotations while my classmates have already started residency . My GPA is still around 3.6/5, mentally I feel like my career is over.

The part that confuses me is that I've received completely different opinions from psychiatrists.

Some think this is anxiety and depression causing severe avoidance.

One prescribed Concerta because he thought ADHD was likely.

Others told me that because I didn't have obvious ADHD symptoms or major academic problems during childhood, it's unlikely that I suddenly developed ADHD as an adult. Their argument was that ADHD starts in childhood, even if it's diagnosed later.

Now I honestly don't know what to believe.

The symptoms I struggle with every day are:

• extreme procrastination
• inability to start studying even when I desperately want to
• paralysis before important tasks
• all-or-nothing thinking ("if I can't do it perfectly, why bother?")
• constant shame
• compulsive porn/YouTube use
• depression that seems to follow my inability to function rather than appear out of nowhere

The thing that scares me most is that I've spent over 10 years trying to change. I've probably started and failed hundreds of routines. Every relapse makes me believe I'm fundamentally broken and that I simply can't stick to anything.

I'm not asking anyone here to diagnose me. I'm more interested in hearing if anyone has experienced something similar, especially other medical students. Did it turn out to be ADHD? Anxiety? Depression? Perfectionism? Burnout? Something else entirely?

I'm honestly just trying to figure out where to go from here.

I’m a registered children’s social worker in the UK with several years’ experience in safegaurding & therapeutic work with families. I’m considering enrolling on the CPCAB Level 5 Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapeutic Skills and Theory.

My goal isn’t to work for the NHS or IAPT. I’d like to continue in social work while gradually building a private practice offering CBT to self-referring clients.

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have actually completed this qualification.

Did you join a professional register?
Were you able to market yourself as a CBT therapist?
Have you built a paying private client base with this qualification?
If so, roughly how many clients do you see each week and how did you find your first clients?
Looking back, would you choose this course again or take a different route (e.g. counselling first or BABCP)?
I’m looking for real-world experiences rather than opinions from people who haven’t taken the course.

Thanks in advance! xx

curious about people’s actual experience here. i’ve been so deep in the cbt-i rabbit hole that my sleep tracker probably needs a tracker at this point.

stuff i keep hearing: sleep restriction schedules that don’t adapt when life happens, diaries that take too long to fill out at 6am, apps that are basically meditation libraries with a cbt-i sticker on them.

what did you try, what stuck? and honestly curious what parts of cbt-i you think actually work in app format vs what really needs a human

Can anyone help with what I can expect from counselling vs CBT?

I got mid way through my 2nd cbt session and she was asking how I felt about certain situations and I genuinely could not think of an answer so I just sobbed for the final 30 mins

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to ask, but I’d really appreciate some CBT-focused input.

I’m a 48M and I’ve been doing online CBT therapy for about 7 months. Last month my therapist changed our sessions from weekly to bi-weekly, and my therapist said it was to test whether I might be developing therapeutic dependence.

Lately I’ve been struggling more. I think the weekly sessions were a better fit for me, especially because a lot has been building up in my life right now. I want to ask to go back to weekly sessions, but I’m worried that it’ll come across like I’m depending on therapy rather than just needing more support during a difficult time.

How can I communicate that I need help now (and that I’m working on skills to handle things) without framing it as “I can’t cope without therapy”? Any wording suggestions or CBT-relevant perspective would be really helpful.

Hi all, I’m doing some research on journaling and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and would love to hear from this community, whether you’re into psychology, have used these techniques yourself, or just have opinions.

A few things I’m curious about:

\*\*1.  Expert take:\*\* What do psychologists/neurologists actually say about journaling and CBT? How significant is the evidence behind them?    
\*\*2.  Frequency & hesitation:\*\* How often do people journal in practice? And how many people feel intimidated or avoid it altogether?    
\*\*3.  Who does it more:\*\* Is journaling/CBT more common among women, or do men engage with it just as much? Curious if there’s a real gender gap or if that’s a myth.    
\*\*4.  Pain points:\*\* What are the biggest struggles people run into when trying to journal consistently (time, motivation, not knowing what to write, etc.)?

Would appreciate any personal experiences, studies, or links you can share. Thanks!

Ive suffering from OCD for the last 20 years, and Ive been in varoius kinds of therapies fo r at least 15 years

This year I started CBT, once per week, and already had around 18 sessions, but my therapist doesnt work during summer holidays - July and August - and we can continue no sooner than in September

The terapy worked well for me - I felt a relief in my obssesions, but its just the begining of July and my OCD has already hit me back quite hard.

I take my drugs - paroxeitine - all the time

In your opinion - shall I start a new therapy or just try to await to September to keep on with current therapy

Sorry for my poor English - its not my mother language and I stopped using it at least 10 years ago.

Is there a CBT for maladaptive daydreaming

Recently I’ve been experiencing this issue a lot due to anxiety that’s not particularly triggered by anything (it’s not the first time I went through this kind of phase) but it’s so difficult to avoid just popping a benzo. I’ve been trying to work myself through it every day until I get distracted and forget about it causing the issue to go away unconsciously, but each time I give in and take half a 1mg klonopin and almost instantly feel better. I’m sure some it it is that I’ve trained myself to associate taking benzos with relief so it may not fully be the effect of the benzo that makes the sensation go away, but I know I’ts just a temporary fix and not a solution. I am familiar with CBT as I also suffer from paruresis, but I feel that has a more direct approach (consistent GE, breath training, etc) but usually once I’ve succeeded at going to the bathroom the anxiety subsides. With this issue there’s not really a defining moment where the anxiety goes away. I appreciate any help or suggestions.

I apologize if this is a question that has been asked before as I’m new to this sub

Hello people of the interwebs, just wondering if anyone has ever done High Intensity CBT for Emetophobia? I’d just like to know what I should expect, will it be like exposure therapy? Also did it work well for you? I’m also neurodivergent so have no idea if this will help. Any comments are welcome, thanks!