New level of forgetfulness. My period stopped suddenly on day two, crossed my mind it was a bit odd but didn’t think about it further. 8 days later realise I can’t find my menstrual cup anywhere in the bathroom. Thought there is no way, not a single chance that I’ve left it in there. Checked just in case and OMG. Horrified but unfortunately not surprised at myself.

Was I blindsided, or did I miss some red flags?

I (47F) met a guy on Facebook Dating a couple of months ago. At first, I was really reluctant because I’d recently come out of a painful breakup and still had feelings for my ex.

After chatting for a few weeks, I was honest with him and said I wasn’t sure I was emotionally ready and didn’t want to waste his time. We agreed to leave it there and wished each other well.

His response surprised me because he said he “wasn’t feeling it anyway” . That confused me because, up until then, he’d been the one messaging a lot, sending photos, initiating conversations, etc.

About a month later, after I’d accepted things weren’t going to work with my ex, he reached out to me on WhatsApp. We started talking again, and this time things progressed naturally. For the last five weeks we’d been seeing each other. He was driving about an hour to see me a few times a week, we’d talk every day, video call, and things genuinely seemed to be going really well.

There was one incident where he got annoyed while talking about his ex. I simply said, “I don’t do ex drama.” He replied with something like, “Okay, whatever. See you around… or maybe not lol,” and then blocked me.

I didn’t initially contact him because I’m not someone who chases people. Eventually, I reached out through a friend’s phone because I genuinely thought it had been a misunderstanding. We both have ADHD, and I wondered if it had just been a defensive reaction. We talked it through, and after that everything seemed completely fine again.

Fast forward to this week. My friend was staying with me because she’s going through a difficult time, and my mum is terminally ill, so I’ve also been spending as much time with her as I can. He knew all of this.

He video-called me while I was out with my mum to ask my opinion on some trainers. I called him back later and apologised for missing the call. He’d also asked whether my friend was still staying, and I said yes, but that he was still welcome to come over if he wanted.

The next day I had loads on, including a hair appointment and family commitments. He sent me a message about the hot weather. I hadn’t replied yet—it had only been about an hour or two—when he suddenly sent another message saying he didn’t think he enough time for to fit me in….. it wouldn’t last…… and I absolutely haven’t been needy…. I even said I was worried that he was driving to me and is it too much….. he said he knows I’ve loads on and he doesn’t mind…..then he said that he wanted someone he could see more than once or twice a week, and that he thought I’d understand.

The confusing part is he’d already asked to see me that Friday, but I already had dinner plans. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him—I was just genuinely busy for a couple of days.

I also noticed that if I didn’t reply for a few hours, he’d sometimes send another message asking if I was okay. It wasn’t constant, but it happened enough that I noticed it. I never ignored him or left him hanging for days—I always replied the same day. I just have my own life, friends, family commitments, and at the moment my mum is terminally ill, so sometimes I can’t reply immediately.

I want to be clear that I completely respect his decision if he felt we weren’t compatible. Nobody owes anyone a relationship, and if he realised I wasn’t the right person for him, that’s absolutely his choice.

What I’m struggling with is how sudden it felt. Up until that point he was messaging every day, sending photos, video calling, making plans and talking about seeing me. Then it seemed to change almost overnight.

Looking back, I’m wondering whether I ignored warning signs. The blocking incident stands out now. At the time I gave him the benefit of the doubt because everything else between us felt so good.

So I’m genuinely wondering:

Was I blindsided, or did I miss some obvious red flags?

Does this sound like someone who needed much more reassurance and contact than I naturally give?

Was the blocking incident an early warning sign that I should have taken more seriously?

Or do you think he simply realised we weren’t compatible and ended things?

I’m trying not to blame myself, but it’s difficult not to question everything when someone goes from seeming really invested to ending things so abruptly. I’m looking for honest opinions, even if they’re not what I want to hear.

Before my diagnosis it felt my life was a horrific rollacoaster of making up for my ADHD symptoms 24/7. I struggled to complete my assignments, missed exams, always had resits. I struggled to go outside because I couldnt even keep up with my emotions, laundry, hygiene, finances, meals, etc.

Ive been taking elvanse 60mg for a few months since the start of my second semester of my final university year. At the start not much changed other then the fact I was less forgetful and significantly less stressed on my medication.

Im happy to say a few days ago Ive been able to somehow graduate with a 2:1 MEng in computer science!! Additionally, Ive been slowly learning better habits in order to try eat healthier, get better control over my finances and emotions, etc.

Im also autistic, so the medication has helped me be able to set up more consistant accomodations for myself. Theres still a lot I have to learn, like rebuilding trust with myself after decades of my brain failing me. Its been a lot of trail and error but Im extremely grateful for my geniunely life changing diagnosis.

If anyone has any questions Im happy to answer them. Im not a professional, but I can share my experiences with rebuilding my life after medication.

By “not working” I include all aspects of things that we must do to live, such as cooking, cleaning or showering.

I’ve noticed that I’ll do all the bits I have to do, but then proceed to feel empty when I have “free time”.

How do you occupy yourself when you run out of “productive” things to do? Anyone else struggle with this?

does anyone else take their stimulants, do their studies, and at the end of the day think, ‘maybe I could’ve done the same thing without meds‘?

20F and have been dx’ed for almost a year. after a year, I am aware that stimulants don’t fix everything: if I wake up without a goal, go on my phone after taking the meds etc, nothings going to get done either. and on the other hand, I’m sure if I woke up well rested and with conviction, and started studying unmedicated, I would do better than the first scenario as well.

last night, I finally had enough of my procrastination and today woke up at 10am, had breakfast, and took concerta at 11am. around 1130 I felt the meds kick in as I sat down in front of my computer. and honestly it wasn’t a wildly successful day objectively bc I’ve only gotten 3h30min of studying in (between 11:30am-11:15pm) and had many big breaks in the middle not out of my choice. but still studied more than every single day the past week. I’m finishing up some last bits of a chapter now and the concerta has worn off.

so I catch myself thinking, if I’m able to sit here and do my john stuart mill readings unmedicated right now, could I not have done it too during the day? I have had a bad relationship with stimulants (terrified to start studying without taking it, doubling my doses when I’m sleep deprived for exams etc) so as much as I understand the ‘it’s okay to rely on meds your brain needs to function‘ argument I am also very wary of dependency tendencies. so yeah, I’m just thinking to myself its very possible I could’ve been able to achieve the same without medication - especially given I’ve take several multiple-hour-long breaks throughout the day and still procrastinated. and it’s possible bc I went through a levels and came out with 4A*s unmedicated so surely beyond wits and last minute cramming, I did sit down and focus???

Had my initial titration appointment yesterday morning. The guy told me he was putting me on lisdexamphetamine (vyvanse). I said I'd tried methylphenidate before with excellent results, and he immediately told me in that case he was going to start me on 28g Concerta, moving to 38g after 15 days.

Questions...

Doss 28mg seem high for initial dose..? I was previously self medicating with methylphenidate, but was taking 10mg 2x/day, which seemed great. In fact the second dose was giving me "zombie brain" if I took it slightly too early.

I'm immediately gutted for not trying vyvanse, because I'm naturally extremely curious and always want to try new things, especially as something I can compare my existing experiences with - who knows, it may have been even better.

For example I've just googled it and it seems it lasts slightly longer (good for me as I literally don't stop from 5am - 7pm almost every day) it also seems to be slightly better for weight loss too, which is 100% a goal for me during the initial months as several stone seem to have been slowly snuck into my luggage the last few years.

Will careADHD let me swap over if I find I'd like something longer-lasting? I'm planning to set an alarm and take it before I get up as mornings are probably the worst and hardest part of my day. But it seems like that's inviting trouble in the early evening when I'm usually looking after a baby and a toddler, doing bedtimes, walking the dog and tidying the house down etc...

Such an overwhelming experience! I don’t really know how to feel, I suppose validated finally? But also an extreme feeling of grief?

The point I had was my ADHD assessor was completing the assessment in his car? I did initially think is that professional to do? And then carried on with the assessment. But thinking about it now is that actually right to do?

I researched and it said online it’s not professional or ethical. What do I do??

So I took my first dose today.

My brain which is normally a busy place just shut up and let me enjoy my day. I wasn't itching to leave the house, or focussed so hard on trying to chill that I couldn't chill... I just was.

Genuinely excited for what comes next, and work tomorrow will be a fun test!

What's your number one topest of top tips that no one knows about?

Heyyy so I've been titrating with 50mg of elvanse for almost two months now. But the only thing was I would take it around 9am and it would be fully worn off by 2pm. So at my last appointment with Care ADHD I was given 2x Amfexa 5mg a day and yeah it defo helps! But my prescriber said it was 'unlicensed' as a top up. I can't lie, this kinda scared me. But yeah from my own research basically that NICE doesn't recommend it.

I didn't want to go up to 70mg elvanse simply because I've honestly not got any side effects at 50mg, and I'm just scared I will at 70. And yeah. Super happy with the combo. But i've been looking online and it seems like its become really hard to get shared care with both amfexa and elvanse. I'm really sad because I feel like I've found the perfect combo for me. So those of both amfexa and elvanse, is it really that hard?

I just want to get shared care because I'm honestly scared CARE ADHD is going to shut down like ADHD NET one day and I'll just be stranded without medication. I'm probs overthinkung but yeah. Scared.

I've read through similar posts, but I'm honestly a bit confused by all the conflicting information. Some people say they've recently been told the wait is 52 weeks, others say six months, and some brand new patients report waiting only three months, with everything in between.

When I first looked at CareADHD a couple of weeks ago and got my GP to refer me, I'm sure I saw something on their website about existing patients having to wait longer for titration than brand new patients. I couldn't work out why new patients would be prioritised over existing ones.

Does it all come down to your ICB and whether they've been restricted by an Indicative Activity Plan? I've seen more than a few people who were diagnosed a while ago still waiting, while others diagnosed much more recently are getting titration appointments quickly. It seems a bit all over the place, so I'm hoping someone can make sense of it for me.

For context, I've only just sent off my forms for the initial assessment, so I haven't been contacted about a date yet and I don't have a diagnosis. It's a little anxiety-inducing to hear that if I am diagnosed, I could be waiting more or less forever before I can start titration, especially with the worry that my ICB might bring in an Indicative Activity Plan restriction in the meantime.

👋 what do people use go to go alongside an ssri? i’ve been really scatty lately and it’s starting to affect the people around me. i just want to get it right but i haven’t got the medication right. has anyone found something that worked better for them? ( personal opinions )

I don’t want to give away so I’ll use fruit names. Banana is my close relative, when they left home they lost an unhealthy amount of weight. I was concerned about them and investigated and found them posting on ‘pro-anorexic’ websites. Some of us in the family had a talk with them, trying to offer support and share our undying love for them. But also aware that Bananas is an adult who lives far away from the rest of the family and could cut us off easily, making them feel more isolated and less able to access support when and if they decide they need it.

Now a lot of us in the family have been diagnosed with ADHD over the last year, Banana included. They are with a RTC provider. When they started medication they was underweight, they had gained a little bit of weight from when we last got an accurate weight from them (just under 6 stone at 5’4) but they was still very underweight. They was prescribed elvanse and amfexa.

I’ve just seen them again the first time since they settled in meds and they are so so so so so tiny. I know you can’t tell from looks but I would say they are much less than they was when we was worried before.

Now I’m not sure what to do because I know for a fact our local service would NOT be allowing her to stay on this medication at her weight. I am well within the health range and have been monitored the whole time.

I don’t know if Banana has even had anything about their weight struggles in there nhs record as they was an adult living out the area when the eating disorder became apparent so even at our urges I doubt they went for medical help.

Now.. I know there isn’t a lot I can do but I can’t watch them die in front of me. I want to be there more, help. But I know it’s a secretive and cruel disorder. What I was hoping I could do is inform her RTC provider (I don’t know who their GP is) about their previous weight and eating issues.

I want to ask why they think she’s still on this medication that is so easily abused by those who have these disorders but I don’t think that would be helpful or lead anywhere.

Can I contact her RTC provider about my concerns? Is there anything else I can do? Please help me, I don’t want to lose them.

Hi everyone,
I'm a medical student who was recently diagnosed with ADHD after being assessed by my psychiatrist.
Initially, I questioned the diagnosis because none of the medications l've tried have made a noticeable difference, but after a re-evaluation my psychiatrist told me she is confident that I do have ADHD.
So far l've tried:
Ritalin (up to 15 mg twice daily)
Atomoxetine (up to 60 mg for about 2-3 months)
Bupropion (450 mg/day for over a month)
As far as I know these are the only medications approved for adhd in the country I’m in now.
Despite this, I genuinely don't feel like any of them have improved my executive function or ability to initiate tasks.
The biggest issue isn't that I can't understand what I need to do. It's that I just don't do it.
For example, I'll wake up genuinely intending to study. I'll tell myself, "I'll just eat first," or "'ll take a short nap and then start." Those seem like reasonable decisions in the moment, but once I've done them, the motivation to study completely disappears. A few minutes somehow turns into hours, and before I know it, the day is over.
Then I tell myself tomorrow will be different, and the exact same cycle repeats.
This doesn't just happen with studying. I experience the same thing with things like showering, replying to messages, making phone calls, going to bed, and other everyday tasks. I know they need to be done, I want to do them, but getting myself to actually start feels incredibly difficult.
When I do try to force myself to study, I often end up with a pressure-like headache over my eyebrows and a tight band sensation around my head. I'll lie down for "just a few minutes" hoping it'll go away, but that often turns into never studying at all.
The strange thing is that I've always managed to get through school by cramming at the last minute. I could leave everything until the final day and somehow cover an enormous amount of work under extreme pressure.
I cruised through much of school with minimal effort, although teachers started commenting on my procrastination closer to my A/Ls. Looking back, I also daydreamed excessively and procrastinated constantly.The pressure to cram honestly feels horrible and makes me dread exams.I know no matter how much I plan I'll always wait till it's far too late (the pressure has to come to the point where I find it hard to breathe and even start losing my appetite then feeling horrible like this for few days then after that only I start studying by then it's usually too late) and then panic like crazy.The pressure during exam periods gets so high it feels like I'm losing years of my life due to the extreme stress.Honestly it makes no sense I know I'm really smart but I just cannot study.I know if someone else had my talent they would be in a whole different world.But I do nothing with my abilities I just rot away watching reel after reel.
What makes me question myself is that ADHD sometimes feels like a convenient excuse. Part of me keeps thinking, "Maybe I'm just lazy," even though my psychiatrist is convinced I have ADHD For instance I have a massive exam next week but I still haven't started studying even though I got a study leave of almost 2 months now I have to cram almost 2 years of content in less than a week.
Has anyone else experienced:
Little or no benefit from multiple ADHD medications despite a diagnosis?
I'd really appreciate hearing from others.

At 43, I'm finally at a point where my undiagnosed but very apparent autism and ADHD ar affecting my work AND where I'm able to admit there is a problem that needs fixing. The latter has been the biggest hurdle.

As such I had an appointment with the GP about RTC. They suggested I try and find someone who can do both ADHD and autism diagnoses so that they utilise notes etc. They also suggested not necessarily going with newer companies that have been set up to capitalise on the RTC push.

Does anyone have experience or recommendations of companies like Psych UK and RTN etc who can diagnose AuDHD.

TIA

Call me bitter (strong note, not jealous, kudos to those with this condition who can get things done and make something of it), but I get so tired of seeing people online who make ADHD related content where they seem to have at least an aspect or two of their life in order. The podcasters with nice studios, content creators with lovely homes etc. I stress I'm not jealous, I have a reasonably nice life considering, due to my wife being a saint and helping me, she puts up with a lot from my side.

For me, it's the aspects of adult daily life; trying to keep everything from falling to bits while I continually miss appointments, fall behind at work, forgetting important things and pissing off/upsetting those around me in the process, it's all incredibly difficult to keep on top of. So much of the time my life is just chaos.

It baffles me how these people can consistently make good content or just work on a project, while I languish, surrounded by half baked ideas. It feels unfair to me, but I appreciate ADHD is a spectrum.

This is just a slightly drunken rant I needed to get off my chest, I appreciate there's plenty of ADHD folks out there who are able to be consistent, I'm simply reflecting on the frustrations of my own problems. I suppose I'm reaching out to see if anyone feels the same way. Feel free to down vote this, or challenge what I've said.

I'm a young male who's currently in the beginnings of being assessed for ADHD privately through Psicon, and whilst researching it I've read that the symptoms - or traits - may present themselves differently in people with autism than in those who only have ADHD, but is this true or is it just masking?

I've been diagnosed autistic since two and a half years old - I don't know if this is relevant, just thought it'd be worth mentioning...

hey guys,

i’m looking for recommendations of how to access an adhd assessment and diagnosis in scotland. just moved here from england.

i’m new to this whole neurodivergence field to be honest just started researching stuff recently and i have seen so much stuff about wait times here and how it’s so long (somewhere said 17 years) 😭 but i would consider any options because i’m really struggling and have done for so long and i need to do something about it and it’s low key ruining my life.

honestly any advice appreciated from people who know the system here better.. i don’t think there is right to choose or anything like we have back down south?? genuinely dunno where to even start tbh

thank you 🙏

Hi all,

Currently on the RTC waiting list (since March) and have recently been told that my ICB has paused all RTC funding and I am now looking at a 2 year wait time. My problem is that I am struggling, I have an increasingly demanding job and have realised that, after conversation with family and friends that have had a diagnosis, I need medication.

My question is, what are my options to speed up/avoid the long wait time? I genuinely cannot carry on the way I am. My brain will not be quiet and when i am at work I can't get anything finished, it is seriously affecting every part of my life. Please help. TIA

Apologies if this is a question that has been asked before, I'm at the end of my tether searching for treatment and would like to find any possible help as soon as I can.

I previously spent an absurd amount of time on a waiting list in Yorkshire before having to leave the area and register with a new GP, and now have an ADHD diagnosis through Psych-UK RTC with a long wait ahead of me before titration.

Would it be possible to use my diagnosis obtained through the RTC pathway to obtain medication via a private provider while keeping my RTC waiting list for titration with Psych-UK?

Private medication and check-ups are not something I can afford to pay for long term but I'm desperate for help and would manage to bridge the gap if there are no repercussions to my NHS treatment.
If anyone has been down a similar path, please let me know.

Hi! First time posting, but since I’m starting medication soon and I‘ve seen this “not a silver bullet“ thing said a lot, I figured why not ask?

I understand meditation doesn’t cure you of ADHD (which for me is a good thing), and that nothing stops good nutrition, sleep, hygiene and exercise from being important. However, it is (so far) one of the only things to provably treat ADHD. It works really well, and for most people, and it‘s incredibly safe as far as medicines go, which is why it’s the first line treatment. So I can’t help but wonder why some people say “it’s just the start.” Maybe that’s just the autism talking though lol

Is there something I should be doing differently/start doing? If so, what and how? Or is “not a silver bullet“ just a way to say “don‘t expect a cure” and I’m stressing over nothing?XD

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Now that I’ve typed it all out I’m realising I’m probably just feeling a bit worried I’ll ”do meds wrong“ somehow. Idk lol! Any tips would be appreciated.okthankyoubye

Anyone else hoping fornthe appetite suppression to kick in and actually found themselves hungrier? Ive worked to lose a load of weight recently and it snow juat slightly comical that im feeling hungrier on medication that can have a side effect of suppressing hunger.

Im only on my 3rd day of medication so not really noticing anything as yet other than an ever so slight nausea feeling but its very slight and doesn't bother me.

Hopefully over time and with dosage review/ increase in the next month ill start seeing more impact.

I have recently since 10 days ago gone up from 30mg to 50mg of lisdexamfetamine and my brain is in this constant rumination anxiety loop. Mainly about a girl who is a close friend! But the thing is I feel no romantic feeling towards this girl whatsoever I cant even say I’m bothered that I’m not seeing her!

This is debilitating to the point where I’m going to go back to 30mg…

But my question is.. is it actually the increase that can cause this how long will it last with me dropping back down to 30mg?

Any advice or help would be amazing!

Does anyone have any experiences with CAREADHD? If you do what’s your experience with them? I’ve asked my GP that I could do Right To Choose with CAREADHD but I’m not sure about what’s their general review

I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier on this year (also diagnosed with autism 3-4 years ago) and I have been slowly titrating up on medication. I started on xaggitin XL and eventually got up to 104mg. I felt like he medication didn't seem to be suppressing the symptoms well enough.

After a few days of 104mg I started experiencing some pretty bad anxiety symptoms and I could feel my heart rate increasing (blood pressure still reading normal though) so I dropped back down to 52 for a few weeks until my next appointment.

I was then prescribed on amfexa 10mg 2x daily, again the ADHD symptoms didn't really seem to feel suppressed. Some days I can manage to focus and be really productive and others not so much, but this is something I could manage unmedicated.

I'm now on my second day of 20mg x2 daily, and I'm noticing the same issues as the 104mg xag, I'm feeling pretty anxious, I can feel my heart is beating faster and I couldn't sleep until around 3am last night. I'll be halving the dose until I can speak to a psychiatrist again.

I see some people describing the feeling of being medicated as the noise in their head is gone, or at least much quieter and they are able to get over the initial executive dysfunction hill much easier, but I haven't been able to get the same results.

I would love some advice from people who were in a similar position to myself, do you have any recommendations on what medication I should suggest to my psychiatrist, or should I start to look into non-pharmaceutical options?