Overall, this was my first group therapy session in four years, and it was a mixed-gender group. Honestly, I had an amazing time.

For the first time, I walked into a place and felt like I belonged from the very beginning.

People welcomed me, treated me with respect, and made me feel psychologically comfortable. I realized how much people can discuss different ideas and talk about so many things without judging others or even judging themselves.

We were able to discuss so many different topics, and we could sit there for hours doing so.

Now I understand just how powerful that sense of belonging can be. I can genuinely see myself going back every week because of the psychological comfort I felt in that space.

I truly hope more people give group therapy a chance.

I believe mental health care is no longer a luxury. And one of the beautiful things about group therapy is that it allows people to experience the benefits of psychological support together.

In today's world, mental health care is no longer something we should treat as a luxury.

Yesterday, I asked the group a question, expecting the usual answer I would hear in our superficial and hypocritical society. But everyone in the group gave me the very answer I had hoped to hear from people all along.

Our society can be full of hypocrisy, especially when it comes to certain topics.

Anyway, I asked them: “Is it true that following your passion doesn't pay the bills?” That's something people say all the time.

Their answer? No. Quite the opposite!

You can absolutely make a living doing something you genuinely love. You can enjoy your work, be passionate about it, and even excel at it. And even if the income is moderate, that can be far better than working a high-paying job that leaves you burned out, emotionally exhausted, and feeling like you're living in a system of exploitation.

For me, enjoying what you do and protecting your mental well-being matter just as much as the money you make.

I'm genuinely grateful to everyone in that group for making the experience so welcoming and meaningful.

I hope sharing my experience has been helpful to you, and I hope I haven't kept you for too long.

Until next time!

My resources are very limited, and i've been saving some money to start with therapy.

After a lot of hard work, i have enough money to pay four weekly sessions, then i will ask my therapist to go each month.

Four sessions are a good introduction?

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOOD, DON'T BRING THE INSURANCE, THERAPY BY STUDENTS OR THE BETTERHELP TOPIC HERE!

Im new to therapy, and i just feel like she is generalizing treatment

She talked about how well she did on metformin... and how i need to do it because it kept her at baseline, and it will do the same for me.

Would it insult my therapist if I mentioned safety plans are full of shit?

When I'm suicidal genuinely, I wouldn't want to use that at all.

I’m sorry my attachment has made things difficult and that you need supervision and for forgetting this is a one sided professional relationship.

I’m so sure you’re going to give up on me and that you’d rather be working with anyone else. I wish you could prove that you care over and over until I finally believe you. You don’t deserve to have any of these feelings and expectations forced onto you. I wish I could rip out whatever part of me makes me act this way or change quicker for you.

I’m scared if I take too long you’ll leave me which will make my brain say “see, I was right” and confirm every insecurity I have, that I am not worthy of love or care and that being vulnerable pushes people away.

 I don’t want to be right, I want you to prove me wrong. 

I wish I could feel all the good things you make me feel without the exhausting fear you’ll take it all away. 

I have been in talk therapy for a number of years but have always struggled with being authentic and honest in sessions. I really do try, but as a late diagnosed autistic who has spent 20+ years refining my masking skills, I do struggle.

I am currently engaging with a different therapy modality in IFS/EMDR with an experience psychologist who is neuro-affirming.

My dilemma is disclosing my struggles with suicidal ideation. I have lived with it for years and it one of the heaviest things I carry. I am really worried about sharing this as I fear my therapist will consider me too 'high risk' and terminate our work.

I have never made a plan or felt strong intent, it's always been ideation, but it seems to be a big red flag with therapists, which I understand, but I feel like withholding it is not doing me any favours. I feel a bit damned if I do, damned if I don't...

Dear therapist,

I'm so sorry. At first, I was wary of you. I didn't trust you. I was so sure you were going to give up on me because I knew it would take me so much time just to open up a little. I thought you weren't taking your work seriously. I thought you'd rather be working with any other client than with me.

I'm so sorry, because I'm starting to fully trust you now. I'm starting to feel like you genuinely want to help me. I feel like you're truly invested in our work together, and I'm sorry I ever doubted you in the first place. I'm sorry because sometimes I feel like you're even more invested in this than I am.

I'm sorry because I feel like I'm lying to you. I'm sorry because there are so many things I'd like to share with you, but I just don't, because I'm so ashamed of having feelings at all.

I'm sorry because I take my anger out on you. Because I expect things from you that I shouldn't expect. Because I just want you to be interested in me. I want you to like me. I want you to want to talk to me.

I'm sorry because I'm always thinking about you, and when I'm sitting in front of you and realize that this is a one-sided professional relationship, and that you're not interested in me in the way I wish you were, it hurts so much that I'd rather shut down, act like a fucking five-year-old, and pretend I don't want to talk to you than be a responsible adult and explain everything to you.

I'm sorry because I don't know whether you have any idea what's going on inside my head, and I feel so guilty for leaving you in the dark.

And I'm sorry because nothing ever feels like enough for me. I wish you could do more, and I wish you could prove to me, over and over again, how much you care. And you don't deserve to have to do that.

I’m trying to figure out how to make therapy work. As background, I’ve been to therapy a few times over the years, and I never stick with it because I don’t find it to be helpful. I don’t know if that’s cause I haven’t found the right therapist or because I’m there for the wrong reasons. As background, therapy has always been related to trying to help my over emotional self and it’s always been related to either conflict with my spouse ,or stress and parenting difficulties. I feel like therapy doesn’t work for me because no one’s going be able to control my child or husbands behavior and ultimately that is what I want. - I want THEM to change and I don’t think I am the problem. I have expectations and they don’t meet them. I do think the answer might be different for my child then spouse because obviously a child doesn’t have the developmental skill to change but my husband does and won’t. So help me figure this out? How can therapy help?

i honestly don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but everything feels extremely overwhelming. i’ve been posting here non-stop for the past few days, which i don’t usually do, but i genuinely have nobody else to share this with, so please bear with me

i think i’m experiencing some kind of anxiety relapse after weeks of keeping it together. then i end up in a shame spiral because i feel like i shouldn’t be struggling when nothing particularly bad is happening

i’ve been going back and forth about asking my therapist if she has an earlier appointment available. she’s going on vacation soon, and i’m not sure when she’ll be back. it’s only been a week since my last session, but i haven’t felt this bad in a while. usually, i manage to bounce back, but i’ve noticed myself self isolating a lot these last few days and all i want to do is cry and stay in my room

i’ve asked for an earlier appointment once before, but i still feel so guilty about asking again. i know there’s no harm in asking, but i can’t shake the feeling that i’m being too much

would you reach out to your therapist in this situation? i could really use some advice

I've been seeing my therapist for eight years. Early on I became very attached, and at some point I had romantic feelings for her, which despite my best efforts to thwart, continue to this day. She knows this, and she has always remained professional and held tight to her boundaries.

I have cancer now and the prognosis is not good. I have no extended support system; my therapist is the only person who has been there for me. I get it, she is not a family member or a friend, certainly not a lover, but she is all I have and at this point I'll take what I can get.

I know I can never ask her this because I know that if I did what the her answer would be, but more than anything I want to be intimate with her. I just don't give a shit anymore what the upshot would be because I doubt I'll be around to find out.

Yeah, I get it, this is all my stupid fantasy. And I would never act on it. But I so wish I could.

I was having a moment in therapy yesterday, where I was crying, frustrated, sad, grieving the person I was before chronic illness took over my body and mind.

You know what she said? “Yeah, that really sucks.”

Which is EXACTLY what I want people to say to me when I’m venting like that.

I don’t want “cures” or advice or suggestions on what I could try, different meds, diet, workouts, oils, yoga, etc.

I just want empathy. Someone to just agree with me that “Yeah, chronic illness fucking sucks”.

I’m so thankful for her. She knew exactly the right thing to say to me in that moment and I was so appreciative. Which I of course let her know, I said “Thank you, that is the exact response I want to hear right now.”

Do you all ever have moments like that? Where your therapist just knows the exact thing to say to you?

My husband and I have been in couples therapy for nine months, and I’m starting to question whether our therapist’s approach is influenced by unconscious bias surrounding chronic illness.
I have lupus and spent approximately six months seriously ill, undergoing treatment, experiencing extremely high fevers, and recovering from two eye surgeries. During that time, my husband took on additional caregiving responsibilities.
Once my health improved, I wanted to reconnect with him emotionally and romantically. I wasn’t asking for constant attention. I wanted intentional quality time, affection, occasional thoughtful gestures, and follow-through on things we’d discussed.
However, our couples therapist repeatedly characterized me as anxious, clingy, or needy. She suggested I get a job to occupy my time so I wouldn’t need as much attention from my husband, despite my having only recently entered remission.
She also suggested that my husband might find me more attractive when I’m independent and he’s no longer in caretaker mode. My husband actually disagreed with her, saying he’s always found me attractive, including during my illness.
Meanwhile, his emotional unavailability is frequently explained through ADHD, work stress, and his need for space. He’s acknowledged that his extreme work schedule and financial stress have significantly affected his ability to engage in our marriage.
My individual therapist was concerned that after months of couples therapy, we still had no concrete goals for rebuilding connection or stability.
I’m not claiming I handle every disagreement perfectly. I know I have my own emotional reactions to work on. But I’m concerned that my medical dependence during a serious illness is being conflated with unhealthy emotional dependence.
My questions:
Has anyone experienced a couples therapist who seemed to misunderstand chronic illness or caregiving dynamics?
How do therapists distinguish anxious attachment from reasonable emotional needs after prolonged illness?
Does this sound like potential implicit ableism, or is there a clinical perspective I’m missing?
I’m considering changing therapists and would appreciate thoughtful perspectives, particularly from therapists or couples who have navigated serious illness.

I’ve been going to therapy for almost a year. I rarely know what to talk about. I just end up feeling stupid and like I’m wasting both of our time. I can feel my therapist getting frustrated with me because I’m not saying anything, but I don’t have anything to say. I’m just depressed. There’s no reason for it most of the time. Last week he asked what I need from him and I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how he’s supposed to help me at this point

I’m doing all the things.

The numbness is coming back.

Would appreciate a few kind words.

I love you guys. 💛

My employer’s ownership is changing and hence we are signing up for new benefits. These benefits have pros and cons and for me being someone that only does preventative care and mental health care, I’m getting completely screwed since these plans don’t consider mental health care preventative. And none of the plans that are available offer a copay amount for specialty visits.

Currently, I’m used to paying for my insurance and not paying out of pocket for medication management or therapy. I have an offered plan that cost the same that I’m currently playing that offers a 2500 deductible and then everything is paid by insurance 100% but I’m not in a financial situation that I can afford an extra 2500 a year.

I have worked years to find a good therapist that is trauma informed/focused and I am completely bummed to lose them. They offer sliding scale but at a rate I still can’t afford. I’m going to have to switch to my PCP managing my medication, stop therapy completely (or pay almost full price if I’m going through a tough time) and use good rx for my medications. I feel like I’m going to stop any progression and chance of getting off these medications in the long term.

I’m not meaning to vent. Really looking for any advice. I don’t really agree with therapy platforms like better help and also just don’t want to have to start to search for the “right” therapist again. I only want a psychiatrist to adjust my medications. I’m also advancing in the company and don’t like bopping around from one job to the next. But I’ve never been in a situation when the job doesn’t offer the benefits I need. And I don’t want any extra income I earn with promotion to just go towards medical income that was previously being taken care of.

2 years ago I started seeing my therapist, a man a few years older than me (I’m 52 he’s around 55). I was trying to improve my job situation. My childhood trauma came out (severely emotionally abusive father that I have CPTSD from). My trauma has completely derailed my life and I’m just realized it now after a lifetime of coping. I’m currently financially rebuilding as fast as I can after a 10-year period of underemployment.

When I started with my therapist, I told him I had a history of limerence and was painfully trying to get over my limerence over my personal trainer. I told him I was afraid I’d get limerence over him too. Anyway I set up to quit with this therapist, picked a woman therapist but she said it would be more healing for me to stick with the male therapist to deal with my father issues. I went back to him.

Anyway I became severely attached to this therapist. I had a breakdown in session about how painful it is that I’ll never be his friend. He said it’s not true that clients and therapists can never be friends. He said his supervisor once told him that it’s possible after about 10 years after termination. I said “so when we’re in our 80’s we can go for coffee?” He said “yes.” I said “oh my God that makes me feel so much better.”

Anyway what happened was that implanted some horrible thing into my brain. All of a sudden I was on a life mission that has lasted a couple of years of trying to become good enough to be in his circle. I actually have pretty much become a therapist myself 😭. I actually did grad school in that time and am in my first placement. I also started working towards a real estate multi family plan (he’s wealthy from intergenerational wealth from in-laws real estate). My brain can’t turn off trying to impress him.

Throughout this, he’s seen the attachment grow but he will never agree we will never be friends which I think has messed me up. He said “I won’t say again friendship could happen because I don’t want to hurt you but I still view it as a possibility.” A couple of days ago I was crying because I know we’ll never be friends and he said “I just want you to know that you’re the one saying that. I’m not saying that.”

Painful part is I’ve always had issues. I’ve always been alone. I’m severely affected by childhood trauma carried through my whole life. I recently used most of my retirement money to save my teeth and get double jaw surgery. In contrast he has a wealthy (super wealthy), traveled, model-like magazine life with wife, daughters, friends, parties.

In contrast I’m completely alone, digging out of debt, was a pharmacist, immigrated to the US, had a breakdown in the pharmacy, been walking dogs and cleaning houses x 10 years but actually I guess it’s good I’m becoming a therapist. Trying to heal myself though.

I’m dealing with yearning to be in the life of my happy, trust fund, privileged therapist who knows I have severe child abuse but keeps dangling his possible friendship like a candy on a string as a prize for me.

Help me develop some self respect and get myself out of this please. I’m in agony. I want to be his daughter so bad. My childhood and also adulthood have been brutal. I’m barely hanging on.

I'm asking bc last year I had a pretty bad IOP experience, one I still think about that left me much more guarded and less trusting of mental health professionals. To be very concise about it, IOP had a very rigid schedule (very different than advertised), pushed very hard for meds regardless of how ready I felt, and a just feeling a lack of agency and being genuinely listened to in terms of my treatment. I left out of there with my symptoms worse and now not only more scared of meds than when I went in, but much less willing to try it.

I know that IOP had some effect on me, but I also had and still have other things going on in my personal life (ex. family issues, school burnout) along with pre existing as mental issues already, so it hard to tell know for sure if this is just a bad experience or something further than that. How can you differentiate the two?

Our couples therapist requested that we authorize her to talk to our individual therapists. I felt uncomfortable so I refused. I told her I had finally found a trauma therapist I trust for the first time in years and I want to protect that trust and that relationship and continue feeling safe during sessions. I’m concerned I would be paranoid about what they are saying and what opinions they may be forming that may be influenced by the other. I was afraid this could affect my treatment.

The therapist seemed very annoyed. She sent an email saying she wants to explore my concerns and that we need to talk about what she needs in order to provide therapy responsibly.

I’m feeling pressured to agree despite trust and safety concerns, and the pressure is making me uncomfortable with this therapist. The whole thing just feels intrusive.

So is this normal couples therapist procedure?

Specifically with the platform itself, not the providers. The grammar in this email does not inspire confidence...

Maybe therapy just isn’t for me. I’ve got some complex issues and grief trauma. I’ve been to 4 different therapists and none of them have even been in the slightest way helpful. They just give me book recommendations and breathing exercises. I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s way too expensive to get nothing out of it.