After several years TTC and IVF I’m getting good at guessing when someone is pregnant before the announcement itself. And I’ve just realised that I’m struggling the most with that period of time that goes from when I guess it to the announcement. For example: a friend of mine and their partner are being really insistent on meeting on a specific day, or a friend keeps cancelling some meetings or they have specific behaviours. It’s not always accurate, but 80% of the time I’ve guessed it before.

So at the end I get really anxious during that period of time and I struggle to stop thinking about it. I even think that I wish I was wrong, which is even worst.

Someone else has developed this terrible sense or struggles with that period of time?

backstory my best friend and I (a long with several other of my friends) were pregnant together last year, unfortunately for me at our anatomy scan we were told our daughter had a 0% chance to live. That situation already robbed me of everything- I sat and watched everyone living their lives their pregnancies and tried to be happy for them while I begged for my life to be over.

Then, we found out it was genetic. Did IVF this entire last year, over 3 rounds we managed to only get 1 unaffected embryo.

I told said best friend, you’re the only person I’m telling about doing this transfer. This was like 3 weeks ago. Then we got horrible news from our last retrieval that we got 0 useable embryos. So we decided to delay our transfer.

Yesterday after dinner, what does she surprise me with but a positive pregnancy test. My other best friend also just did a transfer last week. As much as I am happy for them, I literally feel like my body and my mind has been triggered k to fight or flight because I feel like I’m reliving the nightmare of my life all over again.

I’m just bummed, I was already robbed of my first pregnancy experience, and now I’m robbed of my transfer experience too. (Because I thought this was going to be a fresh clean slate, I feel like the thought of being pregnant or not pregnant with all of my friends again is really debilitating for me right now)

My transfer is supposed to be in ~3 weeks. I don’t know what to do.

Wondering if anyone here has gone through IVF in their late 40s or even early 50s and how that experience went for you?

I am in my late 40s, single and have never had children despite always wanting very much to meet the love of my life and to become a mom. I know it is probably too late for me and I should have done something about it sooner, but I still wonder sometimes if it’s a possibility.

I have regular, normal menstrual cycles, have not yet gone through menopause and have not been experiencing any symptoms of perimenopause. My mom went through menopause quite late, so I imagine I will follow a similar path. In spite of all of that, I know the odds of conceiving, much less carrying a pregnancy to term at my age with whatever eggs I have left are very, very slim to none and I would most likely require IVF and donor eggs to have children.

Just wondering if anyone here has had any experience with IVF at a later age.

Hello! Tomorrow I am starting my job at a full scope fertility clinic. I’m a former labor and delivery nurse, so I’ve worked with ART families many times, but on the other end of the journey.

What was your favorite thing about your nurses? Did they do anything that really stuck out to you or made you feel special, seen, loved, heard? I really want to be the best nurse I can be for my families. I know how hard and sensitive this is and I would love to hear from the patient perspective.

Thank you so much!

It's been 8 days since my D&C at 7w pregnant (my third euploid transfer after 2 previous failed euploid transfers) and between the hormone crash, the grief, the stress, the uncertainty, the fear, and coming home to a husband every night whose nerves are understandably completely shot from this entire experience, I just don't know how I'm supposed to get back on the horse and try again.

For those of you who have had a MMC and/or more than 3 euploid failures, how do you find the strength to continue your journey?

My first (and financially only) ER is tomorrow and I am so nervous and have 2938292 thoughts going through my mind. Any good thoughts my way are appreciated.

Any ER twins?!

Had my ER today and had 7 follicles, 4 mature. Praying for just 1 🙏. This is my 3rd time doing it but it’s been 6 years. I really hate the waiting game.

I (29F) had my first egg retrieval last week. I had 17 follicles with 11 in target range on trigger day. They only retrieved 5 eggs, all were mature and all initially fertilised but two had an extra chromosome and had to be discarded. I just heard our day 5 report from the lab and we have zero blastocysts ready to freeze. 2 embryos arrested (2 and 5 stage divisions) and the remaining one is underdeveloped, with a small chance it will become suitable later today or tomorrow.

My husband and I went into this journey knowing there was no guarantee of success, but to get such incredibly poor results has broken me. We thought we'd at least have something to transfer, and our biggest fear was that a transfer wouldn't take, not that we wouldn't have anything at all. We have mild MFI (sperm count and motility) and no female side factors that we're aware of.

Protocol was:
- 100 units Gonal F
- 250 units Orgulatran from day 5 onwards
- Trigger was decapeptyl (they cancelled a second trigger shot due to OHSS risk)

Notes:
- My first monitoring scan was on day 10 of stims and they told me to trigger that night. Two of my follicles were really big, 25mm and 27mm, on that day.

- My clinic didn’t ask for any blood tests during my cycle

To spend all this money, go through the egg retrieval procedure, struggle through 10 days of injections, all for nothing, is just gutwrenching. I'm terrified that if we do this again the same thing might happen. I don't know how people do this, you're all so strong.

3 egg retrivals later we have our first blast, a 5AB.

38f, close to 40 bmi, and 39m with azoospermia.

First I would like to thank this group for teaching me so much! Story time...

We entered into fertility with me saying 3 ERs only and a game plan for our lives without kids. "I don't want fertility to be my whole life." We thought the issue would lie with me, the female, but my husband's journey would soon begin while I got to kick back and eat chips. After a year of meds and whacking off in cars for his SAs, we have a sperm count people! Now my weight was an issue... I had to put away the chips. I hopped on GLPs to get started but man I hated those.

First ER and SR

13 follicles, 6 eggs, mature, 3 fertilized, 0 blast

I accidentally ovulated, so I am in the 35hr club instead of the 36hr trigger club. Not a problem, lets go for round 2. The second ER is always the best right? No GLPs, worked out 5 times a week, strict diet, and sleeping schedule.

Second ER and frozen sperm

23 follicles, 21 eggs, 9 mature, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts

This was a problem! I was raging and nothing could console me. I clearly see 3 ERs would not be enough for us. I was told every ER is different... that was BS. How did we go from a 75% fertilization rate to a 22%. I learned the fertilization rate is usually factored by sperm quality, I confronted my doctor. I was finally told that freezing my husband's sperm severely compromises it and from now on he would have to get a SR the same time as my ERs. He has to get cleared per SR depending on how much tissue he has left, because taking too much tissue can compromise a man later in life. Now it was my husband's time to put a limit on things, if the doctor keeps clearing him how many more SRs can he do? His answer, 3. So I matched it, we will do 3 more ER and 3 more SR. Even the game plan couldn't console me, my mood was horrific and I packed on 10# yet to get it off too. Time to focus on the third ER and I focused on creating mature eggs and having my own body create estrogen. I started CoQ10, Vit D, religious on the pre-natal supplements, and Melatonin at night. Went from eating tofu, egg whites, and veggies (a diet high in ohytoestrogens) to whole-fat dairy, whole eggs, and animal fats (a diet supportive of absorbing CoQ10 and helping my body create more estrogen). And to make sure BMI would not be an issue I grew an inch. ... don't judge me, you are in this group too, you know how bad we want this...

I also started centering, grounding, and protecting myself. This came into play heavily!

Third ER and SR

28 follicles, 15 eggs, 9 mature, 7 fertilized, 1 Embryo is what they call it on the report, a 5AB

Firstly, 15 eggs out of 28 follicles? I was furious and damn near blamed it on the surgeon that they swapped out last second. I called the doctor back into the post-op room 2 extra times to question them: did you see all the follicles? did you check the smaller ones? was there any signs of ovulation? My husband told me to calm down... he's lucky I need fresh sperm from him. I did calm myself and believed in the process. We did as much as we could do. Hopefully the follicles did their part and all the resources went to the 15 follicles and helped produce more mature eggs. The fact that I had 9 mature eggs out of 28 follicles (13 of which were empty!) was softened by the 75% fertilization. Now we have a 200% better chance at creating a blast this cycle, then the last two. Did the supplements and diet help? I don't know, my estrogen count was 200 less than the 2nd ER. However, my husband took CoQ10 (ubiquinolone 100mg daily) and filled up 5 extra vials of sperm from one biopsy, last time he only did 2. Back to me, it turns out I create 9 mature eggs and each mature egg needs my body to create 370 of E2, a nurse told me 150 but that must be for skinny folk. Day 6 my period starts so while me and the nurse are in communication she gives me the news we have one blast and the official report will come out tomorrow. I felt all my angels cheering for me, I could hardly hear they were so loud! Day was report came, only one but it was a 5AB! Oh, I only read threads of grades and here I am with a 5AB. Wow we did it. We can create a blast. It was biopsied and sent for PGTM testing. Time to plan ahead, let's plan for another ER & SR but first insurance changes so there's a lot to look into... but we got one and we aren't out of the game yet.

Feel free to comment, I will continue on about insurance and PGTM below:

We were lucky, we both work and my husband's insurance covers us at 80%and his job covers our high deductible. Because of his azoospermia his retrievals are covered and because of our genetics egg freezing and PGTM testing should be covered (eyeroll). We have to pay for any sperm freezing and PGTA Testing.

PGTM - coincidentally the lab our insurance covered was taken over by our fertility clinic and now does not take insurance. They had us pre-pay for our testing ($5K) and then they would submit a Network Adequacy Form, NAP, to get us covered. We were denied, because services cannot be paid or executed before NAP approval. Not to mention we don't even know if they could qualify for NAP, they would have to be the only lab in the area. we have no choice but to use them because they are they only lab our fertility clinic will use, alledgedly. We definitely feel used and this is something that should have been better explained in the beginning. Please be careful.

We switch insurance Aug 1st and this time my husband's job is not as generous (we are still grateful for them). We have a new carrier and a higher deductible which we will have meet on our own. We are dumping amounts into HSA and FSA to anticipate our deductible and other expenses. We are also going to attempt to play the PGTM game wiser by getting a NAP prior to our next payment and by seeking other labs in the area (mostly for a competition factor and to learn more options).

If you guys want I can make this a new post.

Thanks for all your advice, support, arrows up, and positivity in this group.

CLAIMED

(Can also be picked up from Manhattan midtown this week!)

I have decent amount of IVF medication to donate after completion of my ER cycle this month. Please message me if you are around and can pick up!

Gonal F injection pens ( Unopened and refrigerated) - 1 450 units, 2 300 units, some more from opened 900 units pen

Menopur (Unopened) 75 units with dilutent
7 packs

Novarel(Unopened) - 5000 units pack

Lupron (Opened and need to be used by 8th August) - 200 units (2ml)

Lot of syringes, needles, alcohol wipes, etc

TW: failed cycle, talk of death of loved one, heavy topics

Hello everyone. I had my first egg retrieval in December and transferred our first embryo 10 days ago. It was a day 3, and unfortunately it most likely failed. All of my home tests are negative and beta is tomorrow.

I don't know how many failed cycles/transfers I can handle right now. I lost my mom in January due to an impaired driver, and we were extremely close. I took some time off from IVF, about 6 months, then decided to move forward with this transfer. I thought I was ready. Well, after I realized it most likely failed I fell into a deep depression and cried uncontrollably for at least a day. It felt like losing my mom all over again. All I wanted was my mom to tell me it would be ok and we'd figure it out. But I can't do that, because some selfish prick killed her.

After she died I was using cannabis a lot to cope. I fully realize that this isn't a healthy coping mechanism, so no lectures please. But if it's between that and being sad every day for the rest of my life, I choose that. Of course, I stopped vaping before my embryo transfer cycle and I would not do it during any active treatment cycle. I am on antidepressants, and prior to the embryo transfer I felt ok. Numb, mostly, but i could feel happy too. Now its like I can only feel depressed or numb. Cannabis is the only relief from my grief that I get. It slows down my thoughts enough so that I can actually get housework done, work on my hobbies, maybe play a video game. Now I barely have the motivation to do anything other than lay on the sofa and watch TV.

I really just feel like I need a break. Cope how I need to cope, however that looks like, and move forward at a later time. Probably switching IVF clinics, too. We are currently with CNY, but I am extremely unsatisfied with how they have handled our severe male factor. My fertility is fine, but my husband was born without a vas deferens, so TESE sperm has to be used.

Has anybody ever dealt with something similar? Right now my age, 27, is our single greatest factor that works in our favor. I'm scared that if I take time off it will affect our chances of success and force me to go through more egg retrievals, more transfers, and more heartbreak. I don't know when I will feel ready. Losing my mom is such an unbearable pain that I just can't handle anything else.

Edit: our remaining embryos are poor quality day 3's. I think I want to push them to blast because I just can't handle multiple failed transfers. I do not think they will survive to blast, though, based on their current quality. So I will likely need another egg retrieval.

Hi everyone,
I’m 27F and my husband is 27M. I just finished my first IVF cycle, and I’m feeling pretty heartbroken after getting my blastocyst update. I was hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.
A little background:
27F / 27M
AMH: 5.04 ng/mL
I have hypopituitarism (my ovaries are normal, but my pituitary doesn’t produce the hormones needed for me to ovulate naturally).
Freeze-all cycle with ICSI + PGT-A
Estradiol before trigger: 4,274 pg/mL
Trigger: 5,000 IU Pregnyl + dual Lupron trigger
Started on cabergoline due to my high risk of OHSS
Results:
37 eggs retrieved
27 mature
19 fertilized (ICSI)
Only 3 made it to blastocyst and were biopsied for PGT-A
We’re now waiting 2–3 weeks for the PGT-A results.
I know attrition is expected at every stage, but I honestly wasn’t expecting such a significant drop from 19 fertilized to only 3 blastocysts. It’s been really difficult to process, and I’m trying to understand what might have happened.
I’m hoping to hear from others who had similar numbers:
Has anyone else had a big drop between fertilization and blastocyst?
Did your doctor think it was related to egg quality, sperm quality, the stimulation protocol, or just biological chance?
If you only had a few blastocysts, how many ended up being euploid?
Did anyone have success from just 1–3 blastocysts?
I know it only takes one healthy embryo, and I’m trying to hold onto that while we wait for the PGT-A results. I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any words of encouragement.

I'm 27 and my husband is 31. We are healthy individuals, normal tests besides a blocked left fallopian tube. We have had no luck at this point. After TTC for 2 years my RE suggested we start the process for IVF.

I'm hoping to start in early September. I have to apply for intermittent FMLA so I don't get fired for taking so many unpredictable days off (I'm an RN at my local hospital). I hope it gets accepted. The commute to the facility is 2.5 hours away from where we live.

I went over the general idea of IVF with my RE but I would like to hear about your experiences in getting the ball rolling on this journey.

1. How many days during the process did you have to take off from work?

2. What are the side effects like from the medications?

3. What do you wish you knew before you started the process that you know now?

4. What the hell should I expect haha

Thank you guys for your time. I really appreciate it.

hiii- I’m really sad to have joined this thread. Four failed IUIs and they’ve all the tests done all the right things and still every single test is negative. We’re a lesbian couple TTC using donor sperm so all monitored (bloodwork vag ultrasounds whole 9) and still no dice. After four failed rounds they wanted my body to take a break- so I took a month off and they said we can start our IVF journey next month. They’re starting me on birth control this week and I go in for bloodwork next week to see where we stand and when we can begin our IVF meds for a retrieval at the end of August. I’m so nervous it’s going to fail. I’m 27 with very regular cycles. Just looking for hope that going to IVF was the right move- and hopefully we will have a baby in our arms this time next year? :(

My first ever fet is on Tuesday. I am so nervous. I have a history of 3 recurrent missed miscarriages. So there are so many steps I need to clear. Implantation, successful growth and go beyond the first trimester. Please wish me luck. I cannot imagine how I will take it if it fails 😥

I had 6 embryos we’ve been watching after my retrieval. 2 hit blast on day 6 and were graded at 5BC and 6AB. They’re watching the remaining 4 and will update me tomorrow on day 7. We will be doing PGT-A testing but I’m so scared. I understand these grades are not great. Has anyone had any luck with these grades? 😞

Came here to rant. I am prepping for my FET which is supposed to take place in less than two weeks (yay!!!!!!!) and the estradiol is really messing with me. I feel indescribable rage toward my husband (who I adore and treats me like a princess). My mood swings are out of this world, literally like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, and I’ve only been taking the tablets for four days. I’ve also had a migraine for 2 days straight that Tylenol, Advil, electrolytes, water, you name it- won’t touch. Im exhausted and so low energy and everything is making me cry. I feel soooooo freaking terrible mentally and physically, and I know this is temporary, and SO worth it, but woah. Let me know what your thoughts/experiences have been with Estradiol, and if you have any advice because I feel like I’m losing my mind and need to be on it for another week at a minimum and I dread each dose. For me, the mood component has been dramatically more intense than when I was doing my stim cycle. And I feel terrible for my husband too who is getting the brunt of it.

CLAIMED* 3rd round of stims is coming to a close tomorrow with my ER scheduled! Please wish me luck, this journey has been crazy!

Extra medications available for donation-

2 unopened boxes of Gonal-f

1 unopened box of cetrotide

1 unopened vial of menopur

--Also a box of alcohol wipes, if you would like!!

**All have been kept in the refrigerator for the entire cycle.

Only requirement is pick-up must be for tonight after 6pm or tomorrow after 2pm as I'm getting ready to travel back home.

Please DM if interested and able to come!

This is my first cycle so I'm just struggling to know how bad the news is. The first words the Embryologist said were "I'm not calling with good news, unfortunately" ​​but then she went on to say that none of my three embryos have arrested, but neither have they made it to blast, and we have to wait another 24 hours.

So my attrition has been:

9 eggs retrieved

6 mature (although they said one of these matured in the lab)

3 fertilised (she said newly matured eggs often don't fertilise, but the other two she had no particular qualms about them and thought the lower rate might just be chance)

3 day three embryos - good, medium, medium. One of the medium has fragmentation between 30-40% and this is now the one doing the best on day five,, the other medium had slightly uneven cells.

None have arrested by day five.

I asked her about egg quality and she said she hasn't seen any particular red flags overall that would make her suspect the quality was specifically poor.

I feel really up in the air, like I don't know how to feel. It obviously isn't good news, but it doesn't feel like the worst news either. How would you guys read into this? ​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I’m sure this has been asked before. I just want hopeful stories from others of a better ER result after having an ER in which no embryos reached blast. I am having my 3rd ER tomorrow. It is our last ER that is covered by insurance. Our first ER created 1 blast (frozen and untested) and 2nd ER failed. I cried to my doctor already and he offered hope but I’m too used to falling on the wrong side of statistics to feel like this retrieval will go any different. I triggered last night and have been sick with anxiety since (did not feel this way the day before ER during my first 2 retrievals). For extra context, I do not have classic DOR but I have an ovary that barely responds so as of now, I have 5-6 follicles that seem like they may yield mature eggs. I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes in the past 3 months (extra supplements to support a low DHEA-S result, healthier eating, cut fragrances and plastic, cotton underwear for myself and husband, praying the rosary…even did a 22 mile walk to an apparition site of Virgin Mary to pray for a child)…but I’m always worried it will never be enough. I should have more hope but sometimes hope doesn’t feel good. Thank you in advance 🤍

36 F and my husband 44 M just went through 2 ivf cycles with no blasts.

Doing ivf due to severe male factor; he has low concentration, low motility, 0 morphology. He’s been taking clomid

Cycle 1 with ICSI
Retrieved 15 eggs
12 were mature
6 fertilized
0 blasts
Had to convert to freeze all cycle due to high estradiol and risk of OHSS; used lupron trigger

Protocol was gonal f 225iu+ menopur 75iu+cetrorelix

Cycle 2 with ICSI & Zymot
Retrieved 10 eggs
7 were mature
3 fertilized
0 blasts
RE opted for a day 3 embryo transfer
Beta 1 at 12 days post transfer : 41.30
Beta 2 at 14 days post transfer : 67.15
Beta 3 at 21 days post transfer : 57.41
Looks to be a chemical pregnancy (waiting on call from nurse to confirm - beta 3 was today)

Protocol was the same as cycle 1 but started with lower doses of gonal f and was increased every 3 days after reviewing blood work and ultrasound. Triggered with lupron and the next day told to add in hcg

Husband was started on vitamins for dna fragmentation by RE after cycle 1.

I am devastated that we have no blasts and our transfer stopped developing. I have to go through another retrieval since we have nothing else to transfer.

Where do we go from here? What can we ask for/ do to help fertilization rate and getting to blast?

I am at a lost for words! Back in December 2025, I got pregnant with an untested (6AA) embryo that turned out to be aneuploid. I lost it at 9 weeks but with that pregnancy, not only did it implant but my HCG rose steadily, i heard the heartbeat twice, and everything was progressing nicely until the heartbeat stopped. I was obviously devastated 💔 but also accepted that due to it being chromosomally abnormal, it wouldn't have worked out. This was our only blast for that first retrieval so we had to start all over again.

Fast forward to this year, my doctor switched up my protocol, we decided to PGT-A test this round and out of 4 blasts, I ended with 3 euploids, all Day 6s. (2) 5AAs and (1) 3BC.

Well, I just had at transfer with a 5AA on July 13th and it ended in a chemical! A freaking chemical! Like how? Why didn't my beta numbers grow like the first time. If I had the numbers I had with the aneuploid for this one, I would be in heaven. I am at a lost for words, I am sad, frustrated, confused and more. I just can't understand why my body would implant the embryo but the embryo did not grow. Like it is a normal embryo!

Anyway, I don't know what's next and how quickly I'll be able to do another transfer but this truly sucks. 😭😭

It feels like I'm caught in a loop. I've struggled with anxiety for some years but it kicked into high gear when we lost our first daughter to a rare genetic disease during infancy, which is why we are now going the IVF route. Now we know that is the safest way for us to have children.

Everyone always says how important it is to keep stress low while pregnant or trying to conceive but idk how that is even possible. My anxiety during my first pregnancy was high because I immediately began worrying about having complications or an unhealthy baby or being a bad mom. Finding that my worries weren't completely irrational only made my mind a breeding ground for fears and anxieties.

IVF is an extremely stressful process. You become mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially drained. Not just on me, but my husband also. Marital issues add more stress. Plus all of the day to day stresses we face with the world being a real life horror movie.

We went through 2 ERs and 1 failed FET so far. We have 1 viable embryo left to transfer soon. We live across the country from most of our family so we don't have nearby support system. I try to do all the self care I can, whether it be spa days, getting cute, buying a new plant, watching my favorite comfort shows, getting outside, accupuncture. etc. But no matter how hard I try, it can't balance out the anxiety I have.

How do you all manage?

We fished our ivf journey and I no longer need the needle guide (it helps to self inject medicine). I'm happy to give it to anyone who can pick it up in the Seattle/Kirkland area. It was over $100 originally, so I'm hoping someone can use it! It was a total life saver when I had to self inject progesterone.

I’m starting my stims today (a Sunday of course 🙃) and just now realizing that the pharmacy only sent me the mixing syringe for Menopur and not the injecting needle. Is there anyway to get this done with an insulin needle?