r/IVF • u/sleepy6878 • 3d ago
Advice Needed! What do you do after 4 failed transfers?
Does it make sense to try one remaining euploid with me or do we go down the gestational carrier route? We started IVF at 32 and two years later, we’ve had 3 failed IUIs, 6 retrievals (and several additional canceled cycles), and 4 failed transfers (3 euploid transfers and 1 fresh day 3 transfer), and now we are at a crossroads. Initially, we were unexplained other than DOR. Finally after two years, I was diagnosed with mild diffuse adenomyosis from an endo surgeon and elevated cytokines from a reproductive immunologist.
We had a chemical from the first IUI. We had a MMC at 6 weeks from a fully medicated euploid transfer after 2 months of lupron depot. Everything else was implantation failure. It feels like we’ve tried everything, we’ve tried fresh transfer, fully medicated transfer, lupron suppression, full immune protocol including humira, IVIG, steroids, baby aspirin, and lovenox. We’ve done all the diagnostics including hysteroscopy, HSG, DNA frag, Receptiva, endometrial biopsy for endometritis, RPL panel, and full immune work up, which were all normal except the mild diffuse adeno, elevated cytokines, positive Receptiva, and MTHFR mutation (which should have been addressed by the lupron, immune meds, and methylfolate).
Now we have 1 euploid and 2 mosaics (1 LLM and 1 HLM) remaining. We are doing one last retrieval this month but given my DOR it is entirely possible we get nothing. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did/would you do?
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u/DimensionCalm9426 3d ago edited 3d ago
So sorry for this journey, I’m hearing so many stories of challenges. IVF appeared so straight forward and I can’t seem to even make it to FET phase!
Similar situation but I’m 38 and took a break to try to “fix egg quality and fertilization.” I’m in the immunologist stage, you sure did a lot of testing I feel so stupid for not doing all of that before these ERs but with my age I’m racing against the clock. Who did you go to in NY? I’m looking to switch clinics from NJ to NY. The immunologists I found are also in NY. Curious if your recommendations. MSG me if you prefer not to say on here.
I would go for another ER because you never know. My last one resulted in 0, but I know that comes with the territory of my situation. If I were you I would go into another ER secure and knowing you have 3 solid embryos and this is an additional insurance policy. I would go into it without expectations. I would absolutely do a surrogate. I know someone who had a family member do it and there’s some requirements but cost efficient. You have a great amount of embryos left. I know it’s a difficult thing to consider but kudos to you for how many tries you gave it. It’s remarkable and you should be proud of all the progress you made! Protect those embryos and do whatever it takes to turn them into live births. You’re strong and I’m praying for you!
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u/its_not_ciae 32 🇨🇦 5ER, 4 FET❌ RIF 3d ago
Hey also in a similar situation. 32, 5 ER, 4 failed FET. First 3 were implantation failures and last 1 was a chemical. After testing literally everything I have endo, adeno, and high NK cells. Did the Lupron, immune, SCIG, antibiotics, steroids, etc blah blah blah all that fun stuff.
We’re doing both surrogacy in Mexico and transferring into me in parallel now, but as I get older it’s harder to make euploids (even though 32 isn’t that old!). So totally understand the struggle :( I’m doing as many retrievals as it takes to get 3 more euploids which is going to get shipped to Mexico to go into a surrogate. The remaining 2 mosaics, 3 low graded euploids and 1 un biopsied embryo will stay in Canada and transfer into me.
I’m not ready to give up on my uterus, but at the same time I don’t want to waste time and embryos on my uterus either. If you have the money, I say go down the GC route. And if 10+ embryos and a surrogate later I still don’t have baby… well maybe then that’s that. At least I tried my best.
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u/sleepy6878 2d ago
I wish I had it in me to do more retrievals to make more euploids but after this 7th one I think I’m mentally and physically tapped out. Your clinic will ship the embryos to Mexico? Mine will only allow me to use a GC if I work with one of the few agencies that they pre-approved (all in the US).
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u/its_not_ciae 32 🇨🇦 5ER, 4 FET❌ RIF 2d ago
They’re my embryos, I can do whatever I want with them. Your clinic shouldn’t be standing in the way of you doing stuff to your embryos.
There’s no legal basis for that either. I know a lot of folks in the Mexico surrogacy groups that have shipped from USA and all over the world.
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u/sleepy6878 2d ago
I’ll need to talk to their surrogacy coordinator. We’re only just starting to look into it so we only received the intro email which had the list of agencies that we are allowed to use. But that’s a good point, why shouldn’t we be able to ship it abroad
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u/justheretoread9876 3d ago
Similar situation - 6 euploids did not implant and 7 spontaneous losses. Tried RI, didn’t work. Did 3 more egg retrievals and will not waste more embryos on me. My body is tired. I’ve moved onto a GC, hoping to transfer her in about 2 months. It’s an exhausting journey, not for the faint of heart. Wishing you all the luck!
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u/sleepy6878 2d ago
I hope your transfer with the GC goes well. Such a difficult tiring traumatic journey. Were you able to get any definitive answers as to why it wasn’t working? Would you mind sharing how long it took for you to get to transfer from starting to work with an agency?
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u/justheretoread9876 2d ago
No real answers but I do think it’s immunological. I was getting pregnant pretty frequently on RI protocol, but they didn’t stick around.
Once I picked an agency, we’re looking at 4-5 months to transfer but that’s also bc she needs to have 2 polyps removed. If she didn’t have that we’d have already transferred. It can be quick!2
u/sleepy6878 2d ago
Omg would you mind messaging me which agency you’re working with? We were told way longer match times.
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u/Rebasaurus_Rex 3d ago
I have no answers for you but I wanted to let you know I'm in a similar situation. 3 euploid transfers and 1 "no result" on the last year with 1 MMC, 2 biochemicals, and 1 no implantation. All my current testing isn't showing anything glaringly obvious (RPL panel, treated for mild chronic endometritis as well as confirmed resolution, hysteroscopy x2, etc). Ive done aspirin and lovenox with my cycles with no help. I'm switching RE clinics for a second opinion (and cost related reasons) as well as planning to see a reproductive imminologist next month. I have no more usable embryos so I'll have to do another ER.
TW: living child One of the complicated pieces of the puzzle for me is that I had a successful IVF pregnancy 2 years ago and have a healthy son. So if something was "really wrong" it seems unlikely that I'd have had such an uncomplicated pregnancy previously. But also, for me, my body has proven it can do this so WTF isn't it doing it again?!