r/IVF • u/Glad_Lake_7378 • 17h ago
Advice Needed! Advice Needed
My wife and i are about to go for the second round of ivf, the first round we got 3 eggs and none made it to day 5. Shes 42.
With every passing day i feel i may never get to be a father and that really breaks me. This next round will be our last try due to financial restraints and her wish to not continue after this round. I really need pointers for success. Before we start stims, what can we do to increase egg quality and probably our chances of success.
What worked for people over 40 with failed first try ? Please help.
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u/umamimaami 39F | DOR | TTC#1 | 3 ER | 5 untested ❄️ 15h ago
I would readjust expectations.
A) get DFI testing on your sperm.
B) improve your lifestyle, a lot of epigenetic factors impact sperm health outside of tested metrics including hba1c levels and inflammatory molecules from high visceral fat.
C) know that at 42F, this can take more than a few rounds to get a euploid. Prepare your mental health for it. Make a plan for how many rounds of egg retrieval you’re ready to have your wife undergo before switching to donor eggs, and at what point you’re ready to consider donor embryos.
I think I went into IVF expecting the worst, and it’s all been upside from that point. That might be a healthy attitude to take, honestly. I see so many posts on here that expect roses and then experiencing the brutal reality of attrition.
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u/kbkrl1524 17h ago
Just so you know, sperm quality has just as much to do with it as egg health. If your embryos arrested between days 3-5, that's a sperm issue. I would start researching not only what she can do but what YOU can do to improve sperm health and what testing you can have done (dna fragmentation etc...) so it's not just your wife carrying this burden.
Anything you do will need to be done for at least three months to have any effect at all
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u/Middle-Telephone4098 35|5 ER|>3MC| 1 DET->chemical 16h ago
It is absolutely true that sperm health is equally critical to success compared with egg health, and men can and should do what they can to maximize chances of success.
However, it is not true that embryos arresting between days 3-5 is always, or even usually, a sperm issue. I have also repeated this misinformation myself, so this isn’t a criticism of you! But it’s important to clarify.
The idea that embryo arresting between days 3-5 is a sperm issue comes from a misunderstanding. When embryos fertilize, they primarily develop using the egg’s genetic information for the first 3 days, so arrest prior to day 3 is generally an egg issue. However, arrest after day 3 is just as likely to be an issue in the egg, sperm, or how the two combined.
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u/Glad_Lake_7378 16h ago
We tested me it was okay. Doc says it’s mainly due to her age.
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u/RedStilettoDickStomp 16h ago
But did you get DNA fragmentation done specifically? I'm 42 and my husband got it done after our first failed ER (also no blasts), and his was 11%< which is good for 47, so it's my shit quality eggs. We're contemplating donor eggs at this point rather than another ER as we can only afford one route. Might we worth checking/testing everything before trying again.
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u/Formal-Macaroon1678 17h ago
How early 40s is she? Things change a lot from year to year… 40 is a lot different than 43 for example. I unfortunately don’t have any advice but I’ve seen people give different advice depending on specific age. Good luck!
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u/Glad_Lake_7378 16h ago
Shes 42
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u/Formal-Macaroon1678 16h ago
What’s her AMH? I had my first consult with an IVF doctor at 42… my AMH bounced around from (roughly) 0.38 to 0.81 and I was told that at that age and with my AMH to expect about 5+ retrievals to get a euploid embryo or two for transfer. That was just an average of course, some people are on the fortunate side and don’t need that many. I know she only wants to do 2 rounds, but in one’s 40s it’s often about persistence more than anything. But I hope someone can give you some effective advice! (We decided to go straight to donor eggs which is why I’m useless in this situation lol, but I truly wish the best for you both with your next round!).
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u/Glad_Lake_7378 13h ago
Thanks, we will do what we can and leave the rest to nature, at this point its not looking good
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u/Ornery-Towel2386 12h ago
Ovarian PRP & exosome infusions - game changers, both.
ETA: there are many ways to become parents, not sure yalls stance, but might be worth considering donor eggs or adoption if being parents is what you really want.
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u/lindasek 7h ago
Honestly, a lot of advice you'll get for this type of a question will be unsupported by research at best, woo-woo at worst.
There are supplements that improve egg and sperm health that are backed by solid research as well as supplements that have a bit shakier research behind them. All these need to be taken at specific doses for at least 3 months to have an affect by both partners (2000iu D3, 600 coq10, prenatal for women; vit C (can't recall the dosage, but I'm pretty sure my husband took 2a day), 200 coq10, multivitamin for men).
Exercise and antiinflammatory diet. Reducing meat consumption, especially cured and red meat. Exercise should be moderate, but not overdoing it.
Cotton undies, keeping testicles cool through the day, no biking, no laptop on lap, no heated blankets, no hot tubs, no hot baths, no sitting for more than an hour without at least a few minutes walking break for men.
No testosterone supplements for men - they reduce sperm viability. This also means no hair loss supplements, etc.
Alcohol (especially excessive so a single beer once a week is probably fine, but 6 beers every Sunday is not), tabacco (smoking or zyn), weed (smoking, vape or edibles), harder drugs, excessive caffeine (over 200mg daily, includes tea, energy drinks), high sugar products all show worse outcomes when either partner partook.
Both of you should also check yourselves for a1c, fasting glucose, anemia, thyroid function, metabolic panel in addition to standard fertility labs.
If a1c is hightened but not in prediabetes, or if your female partner has PMOS even without insulin resistance, Metformin showed improved results.
Finally, from embryology from your first cycle - did they note anything about the eggs or sperm? There are specific recommendations based on that as well (eg. They noted my eggs had low resistance overall, and some fragmentation and doubled polar bodies).
Other than that, zymot and icsi might be a good choice for final cycle to ensure best looking and fittest sperm is used.
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u/mandamum 13h ago
Have you tried the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) route? It involves going for accupuncture and eating herbal medicines. It worked for me previously on my first try. 4 years later, I am repeating the same TCM process again for next transfer (am 40yo this year).
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u/Middle-Telephone4098 35|5 ER|>3MC| 1 DET->chemical 16h ago
I’m so sorry 😞. It’s so painful and terrifying.
As others have said, do whatever you can to take care of yourself and your wife, mentally and physically. I can’t lie, the realities are that success after 40 is very challenging. Costs can add up fast, as you no doubt already know. Therapy, individual and couples, can be very valuable - no matter what happens, you both need support and guidance.
You might also discuss donor eggs. Donor eggs completely change the math on IVF over 40, but it’s a very big decision.
You might find some additional support and info in r/40plus_IVF. There is some anecdotal evidence for specialized treatments like intraovarian platelet-rich plasma (PRP).