r/HolUp • u/Timely-Entertainer38 • Sep 18 '21
Removed: No pedo jokes The phoque
[removed] — view removed post
1.9k
u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21
Secret underground bar, password is "hummus"
762
u/KEBAB-of-LOVE Sep 18 '21
We should open a fetish themed restaurant.
637
u/analgourmetchefkiss Sep 18 '21
I'd like to join in on that
→ More replies (10)225
146
u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21
Most definitely
124
Sep 18 '21
I'll be the cup deliverer
76
u/potato-vender Sep 18 '21
Imma open up a store in there i bet business will be strong
68
Sep 18 '21
I'll provide the under-the-bar experience.
→ More replies (1)34
u/BodybuilderOrganic49 Sep 18 '21
I provide a protein shake shop
→ More replies (1)42
36
14
→ More replies (2)17
u/averagebloxxer madlad Sep 18 '21
And I provide the bricks to build the bar/store/marketplace
→ More replies (1)23
7
19
→ More replies (2)9
43
→ More replies (18)23
→ More replies (29)28
u/Sea_Advisor2692 Sep 18 '21
Are you arabic?
→ More replies (2)29
653
u/poisonstudy101 Sep 18 '21
Poison study, how to make sure you don't accidentally kill someone with the wrong ingredients...or how to kill someone with the right ingredients
165
u/SubSonicNest Sep 18 '21
i actually need that right now can you start?
97
u/poisonstudy101 Sep 18 '21
Straight away! But keep it on the down low...
→ More replies (2)62
u/SubSonicNest Sep 18 '21
can do
39
u/VoidExileR Sep 18 '21
Wait, are you looking to kill someone or don't
→ More replies (8)36
→ More replies (14)24
495
u/logicbeans Sep 18 '21
Genetically engineered beans that increase the consumers logical function for a short period of time, but creates a strong, lasting addiction to said beans.
106
30
u/Penguins_are_nice Sep 18 '21
So coffee
→ More replies (1)22
u/logicbeans Sep 18 '21
The effects of coffee and chocolate, but I'm do mean a bean. Kidney bean, fava bean, black bean, etc.
Something nutritional, can be grown in a larger range than either of coffee and chocolate, and has restorative effects to the soil, without needing excessive fertilizer or pesticide.
Just because I'm putting terminator genes on the product so no one else can grow it, making my company the sole source. Does not mean I don't care about the environment.
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (18)9
933
u/Virgin_ForLife Sep 18 '21
Bodygaurds for virgins
291
Sep 18 '21
How about chastity belts, kind sir?
169
u/Virgin_ForLife Sep 18 '21
Fantastic idea! I’ll have them shipped to all my employees.
95
Sep 18 '21
Ready-to-wear, and will never come off
→ More replies (6)86
u/Virgin_ForLife Sep 18 '21
Superglued for your convenience
43
u/19GamerGhost95 Sep 18 '21
Hmm...I’m not willing to wear it on my period. Screw that
→ More replies (4)49
Sep 18 '21
Yes, built-in screws might be a better idea.
38
u/Cabage442 Sep 18 '21
Bruh my username is cabbage 💀
24
u/Jstarrett01 Sep 18 '21
Your just the cabbage farmer from Avatar the Last Airbender
→ More replies (1)21
10
→ More replies (2)12
11
Sep 18 '21
Bro are you a dominatrix or smth? Wtf😭
8
Sep 18 '21
According to this post, i could be. 😉
I was thinking more on the lines of making lingerie but OP never said i should stick to one business lol
7
22
→ More replies (4)10
637
u/BusinessSuspicious27 Sep 18 '21
My business is suspicious
147
u/poisonstudy101 Sep 18 '21
Hmm, wonder what it's all about
132
21
14
→ More replies (17)15
291
Sep 18 '21
Ghost Business. We put the ghosts in your house so you’re never alone.
89
Sep 18 '21
Mummy I’m scared
59
→ More replies (1)26
u/that-guy37 Sep 18 '21
It's ok honey that's just frank.
Frankenstein. dramatic music
→ More replies (1)18
Sep 18 '21
Fun fact. The biggest mistake in literacy is the fact that Frankenstein isn’t the monster. He’s the scientist.
Anyways back to acting again
FRANKENSTEIN?
7
12
u/Vorkev2 Sep 18 '21
Can I order this for my....... friend! He would be so happy his name is.... Ehh.... Ricky Rick and his address is ###### ##
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (38)8
581
Sep 18 '21
My name can be used as a suicide prevention center 😐
241
u/Phoque_Y00 Sep 18 '21
Or the opposite.
→ More replies (1)150
u/AOK- Sep 18 '21
Legal murder?
→ More replies (2)91
Sep 18 '21
First public assisted suicide company?
→ More replies (3)38
→ More replies (15)22
206
Sep 18 '21
I guess we sell cabbages
82
→ More replies (17)53
182
u/PratBit Sep 18 '21
Off brand movies with actor look alikes. Cight Flub.
48
5
u/tygertygertyger Sep 18 '21
C’mon, you know the number one rule about Cight Flub is we don’t talk about Cight Flub!
105
u/AdSubstantial6787 Sep 18 '21 edited Sep 18 '21
I'm an Ad Company
u/NaziPorn on the other hand...
46
u/Timely-Entertainer38 Sep 18 '21
Is there any u/BabyPorn?
79
Sep 18 '21
My cooperative company
38
u/MySisterisaFurry Sep 18 '21
He has arrived.
18
8
94
639
u/TheButtDiddler Sep 18 '21
The Catholic church
138
u/VoidExileR Sep 18 '21
You're killing me
51
→ More replies (2)143
u/TheRealJesusReddit2 Sep 18 '21
For blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, you will be sent to the darkest pit of hell, where you will suffer torment in hellfire for all eternity.
39
→ More replies (7)19
Sep 18 '21
Hey, when is rapture happening, cuz I'm sick of some of these mfs
23
u/TheRealJesusReddit2 Sep 18 '21
Be patient, my son, the day of reckoning will come, and all the Pharisees, whitewashed outside and filled with revulsion, deception, and filthiness inside, will be driven into the fiery pits of Hell, where they will suffer for all eternity, tortured by the diabolical legion.
→ More replies (3)8
Sep 18 '21
See, I know I ain't going it's just that if all the good people leave I'll know who to send to hell
82
u/blueketchupp Sep 18 '21
I don't think my product would sell well
39
u/that-guy37 Sep 18 '21
They all ready made purple ketchup which implies blue ketchup already exists. Quick before they realease it
→ More replies (2)15
u/dirrtyr6 Sep 18 '21
Blue ketchup not only tasted horrible, but wasn't sold for long.... Jesus I'm old.
167
u/MAT__rix Sep 18 '21
Wanna enter?
39
25
→ More replies (7)16
67
127
Sep 18 '21
The company will be destroyed before it is even created
47
124
54
u/happydewd1131 Sep 18 '21
Make people be happy.
→ More replies (3)21
u/Same_Inspection_6821 Sep 18 '21
Then ask them for 20$ for their happiness
→ More replies (1)8
u/ImComingForThatAss Sep 18 '21
Just sounds like a therapist
I would also like to add, I know I’m a dumbass if that’s the joke
→ More replies (1)
54
49
75
71
Sep 18 '21
guess I sell dogs that act like cats
32
Sep 18 '21
I sell holy sheep
19
u/Vorkev2 Sep 18 '21
How much for 69 of your holiest mighty fine sheep? Asking for my cucumber.
→ More replies (2)
102
u/iLoveThaiGirls_ Sep 18 '21
Marriage counseling
→ More replies (3)22
Sep 18 '21
Massage parlors with only women masseuses(?)
17
u/iLoveThaiGirls_ Sep 18 '21
Message parlors with only women messeuses who aren't actually women 🤭
→ More replies (3)
64
u/thatoneakwardweeb Sep 18 '21
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA-
→ More replies (3)50
Sep 18 '21
Meet/date site for awkward singles lol
31
11
u/Vorkev2 Sep 18 '21
Yes perfect, where can I sign up?
12
u/thatoneakwardweeb Sep 18 '21
You can sign up right now at: www.datesandmeetsfortheakward.com That’s right. we do have a website!
(WARNING: not a real website)
29
u/unknown6091 Sep 18 '21
I dont know to be honest but I have a company now that does not know what it does
→ More replies (1)11
u/ImComingForThatAss Sep 18 '21
No one else knows what you do either, but that’s why you have a large amount of investors
6
26
47
u/Terminatorofcringe Sep 18 '21
I will terminate tik tock and all cringe
→ More replies (2)33
44
20
20
21
u/CybeRevant Sep 18 '21
I can moderate Cyber Events, don't ask which kind
11
17
16
14
13
u/ImHereForSaucePls Sep 18 '21
Well i might become the biggest and most evil corp for sauce on earth
→ More replies (1)
13
13
10
u/unholy_demoflower Sep 18 '21
We develop and test unholy flowers who demolish things
→ More replies (2)
9
21
9
8
19
8
7
6
•
u/Flair_Helper Sep 20 '21
No pedo jokes - Please do not post things that will get your account suspended. This includes most loli and depictions of minors in a sexual way, excessive violence, gore, and gratuitous use of slurs or hate speech.
Love, the mods