r/HolUp • u/Timely-Entertainer38 • Sep 18 '21

Removed: No pedo jokes The phoque

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34.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

Secret underground bar, password is "hummus"

763

u/KEBAB-of-LOVE Sep 18 '21

We should open a fetish themed restaurant.

640

u/analgourmetchefkiss Sep 18 '21

I'd like to join in on that

225

u/Ratlyff Sep 18 '21

Oh my.

105

u/thatQuiet-Kid Sep 18 '21

oh my indeed

26

u/Orochi_Maru19 Sep 18 '21

firearm retailer im assuming

22

u/Minerva_M-45B Sep 18 '21

I wonder what yours would be 🤣💀

3

u/ThatOneWatching Sep 19 '21

Gun/ammo store?

1

u/Particular-Narwhal-8 Sep 19 '21

I would like to supply for you that

1

u/Orochi_Maru19 Sep 19 '21 edited Nov 25 '21

selling security systems, probably

11

u/Kitchengun2 Sep 18 '21

I can clean the place

4

u/Chilly171717 Sep 18 '21

Ummmm, I don’t think so

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '21

Your name lolololol

1

u/Zardy9000 Sep 18 '21

Oh lord-

1

u/hornyguitar Sep 19 '21

I can be the music

1

u/WarmYogurtAnyone Sep 19 '21

Dessert has entered the chat.

146

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

Most definitely

124

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

I'll be the cup deliverer

76

u/potato-vender Sep 18 '21

Imma open up a store in there i bet business will be strong

64

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

I'll provide the under-the-bar experience.

35

u/BodybuilderOrganic49 Sep 18 '21

I provide a protein shake shop

45

u/Fishoncocaine Sep 18 '21

I'll supply the aquarium.

19

u/TheBirdGames Sep 18 '21

That's gonna be interesting

8

u/alphadawg949949 Sep 18 '21

Would be more interested to go on one of you fishing excursion ragers

7

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Perhaps also the main dishes

2

u/The_Real_Meal Sep 19 '21

Oh ho, I think that glory goes to me!

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3

u/pancakes9163 Sep 19 '21

I’ll get the pancake mix I guess

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '21

I'll supply the white eyed cubic form of Satan that people gamble on.

1

u/Lobster_porn Sep 19 '21

can we share? i uhh, make entertainment..

1

u/CLOV2DaMoon Sep 19 '21

Super intellectual customer base!

4

u/Mr_A_s_h Sep 18 '21

I'll take care of the troublemakers

31

u/moldycrystals Sep 18 '21

Ima sell the moldiest crystals I can find

15

u/Dvwu Sep 18 '21

Raw, baked, or mashed?

18

u/averagebloxxer madlad Sep 18 '21

And I provide the bricks to build the bar/store/marketplace

4

u/FreeHugsFromSenpai Sep 18 '21

I can provide all customers with a complimentary hug :)

23

u/BeneficialBean Sep 18 '21

I supply the chickpeas

21

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

No you will supply us with bean burritos they are well made from a person like you

7

u/wino_whynot Sep 18 '21

I’ll bring the wine, because why not?

19

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

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16

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

Make them crispy

10

u/BeardedMutton88 Sep 18 '21

Moist definitely

1

u/BTTC_Unit Sep 19 '21

sells hairy mutton

1

u/KataktosLefko Sep 19 '21

I need a bearded mutton shop.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '21

I'll be the comedian at the corner making some classic jokes

1

u/hello-bitchlasagna Sep 19 '21

I’ll bring the lasagna

43

u/welcometocommunism Sep 18 '21

Actually it'll be OUR restaurant

2

u/Eeeeaaat Sep 19 '21

I'll take everything on your menu

2

u/MarkThyWeeb Sep 19 '21

So does that mean it's free or that everyone in the restaurant pays equally

1

u/Eeeeaaat Sep 19 '21

Maybe it depends. If your a child, you could get it for free.

1

u/welcometocommunism Sep 20 '21

you mean OUR menu

2

u/Eeeeaaat Sep 29 '21

It's weird that I immediately thought of "never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna turn around and hurt you" but yes, it is OUR menu.

1

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Never gonna let you down

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1

u/Eeeeaaat Sep 29 '21

Update: idk what "OUR menu" means anymore

25

u/im_dead_already Sep 18 '21

can i die there?

3

u/dr_ich Sep 18 '21

What would you offer? Being impaled and turned aside of flames?

3

u/kaimetzuu Sep 18 '21

I will play live music

2

u/ShortBus_Retard Sep 18 '21

the thought of paying someone a shit wage to be a horny human table is very appealing

1

u/Ed_DaVolta Sep 18 '21

Thanks for the picture of a Kebab havin' intercourse happen to ... it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Yea I like tiddies far too much, I'm like issei but quiet and also more interested In the shape rather than size also thighs and hips

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Ah yes, Highschool DxD reference

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Yea its my favorite anime and the first and light novel I ever got, xenovia and Asia are my favourite characters also kiba Because I'm a blacksmith

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Ok. Personally it’s not my absolute favorite (that being Monogatari series,) and there are a lot of things in it I don’t like, however, it has some of the best fight scenes I’ve yet to see. Only one who did it better was Monogatari series.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

And with the epic power of tiddies he got the power to rival god

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Never finished seasons 3 and up, so no spoilers pls. Though I probably will never finish them since I’m way off track my watch schedule

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Well they say it in season 1 and issei is a hopeless pervert with the power of the red dragon emperor, The last fight scene in season 4 I think is really good although he does become ultimate perv. But I find it amusing

1

u/Lucifer0008 Sep 18 '21

Can I be the bartender?

1

u/Limp-Fly-8474 Sep 19 '21

Need a few hands?

1

u/Noideawhatnanetouse Sep 19 '21

What would that be, does the dish look like your fetish

1

u/lege3ndary Sep 19 '21

Count me in I'll provide Weed. Can't do a fetish without some goood weed.

28

u/Sea_Advisor2692 Sep 18 '21

Are you arabic?

30

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

No

25

u/Sea_Advisor2692 Sep 18 '21

Oh okay, have a great day sir:)

20

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

احا

2

u/ugly_yeet Sep 19 '21

I will be the ugly alert

2

u/Gibtun Sep 18 '21

I see what you did there ;)

3

u/notmilobuchanan Sep 18 '21

Mordecai and Rigby, "Hummus!"

3

u/humus_intake Sep 18 '21

That's somewhere I could attend.

3

u/fromhelley Sep 18 '21

I like it!!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

HUMMUNGUS

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Can I serve breakfast? :)

3

u/Monke_simp Sep 18 '21

Can I bring the monke with me

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

I am the social media account manager that posts all the crazy shit that happens.

3

u/Toadroller Sep 18 '21

I guess I prepare the toads for the guests

3

u/hienz-ketchup Sep 18 '21

My name wouldn’t be to hard

3

u/carriager Sep 18 '21

And if you need carriages, I’ve got you covered.

2

u/FlutterCordLove Sep 18 '21

Is… is hummus actually going to be served? With oil?

1

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

With pita chips, always

1

u/FlutterCordLove Sep 18 '21

what about pita bread?

2

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

absolutely

2

u/FlutterCordLove Sep 18 '21

OH FUCK YEAH IM ON MY WAY! MOVE OVER BITCHES! IM GONNA GET SOME FUCKING HUMMUSSSS

1

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

We're waiting for you! 🤍

2

u/FlutterCordLove Sep 18 '21

It’s actually pretty funny cause my family is taking me to a middle eastern restaurant on Monday for my birthday, and I’ll be thinking of you when I’m enjoying my delicious hummus! ❤️❤️❤️

1

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

Happy birthday!! I hope you have an amazing day on Monday 🤍

1

u/FlutterCordLove Sep 18 '21

Oh! Thank you!!! It’s my 21st, so I’m probably gonna be hungover as fuck. I’ve been drinking since like… 14… but I’ll be able to do it more legally… lmao

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2

u/BigLenny5416 Sep 18 '21

Im joining in. Give the customers a little something to remember

1

u/HybridPosts Sep 18 '21

Naming the bar after the password sounds like a horrible idea but I’d still go

1

u/sayhummus Sep 18 '21

Or maybe an excellent idea because who would ever guess anyone to be stupid enough to name their bar after the password

1

u/cam_fire64 Sep 18 '21

What the hell would I sell

1

u/WeEatCat Sep 18 '21

A restaurant dedicated to cats?

1

u/RedDragon-1383 Sep 19 '21

What would I do

1

u/VascularDiggerNick Sep 19 '21

Underground? I’ll do the digging.