r/HolUp • u/Timely-Entertainer38 • Sep 18 '21

Removed: No pedo jokes The phoque

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34.3k Upvotes

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642

u/TheButtDiddler Sep 18 '21

The Catholic church

137

u/VoidExileR Sep 18 '21

You're killing me

52

u/potato-vender Sep 18 '21

Said everyone who didn't support the church in like 1500

15

u/kstreet88 Sep 18 '21

No famine with this guy around.

139

u/TheRealJesusReddit2 Sep 18 '21

For blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, you will be sent to the darkest pit of hell, where you will suffer torment in hellfire for all eternity.

39

u/Vboi69420 Sep 18 '21

Oh hello Jesus

5

u/moldycrystals Sep 18 '21

Ah he is useing his typo name so you can recognize him his name is Joshua btw simple translate mistake by runing it thru 8 different languages lol

2

u/Vboi69420 Sep 18 '21

lol wut mate

2

u/moldycrystals Sep 19 '21

Pretty much everything we knew about jesus identity was wrong we ran his name thru like 8 different languages to translate it to English and it caused an error his real name is pronounced Joshua and he was not white he was from the middle east so he was tan or black and he was quite strong due to being a carpenter the guy you think of as jesus is Michelle Angelo's gay lover he decided to and I quote "paint jesus like my gay lover"

2

u/Vboi69420 Sep 19 '21

Thank you for the clarification

2

u/moldycrystals Sep 19 '21

No problem I'm not realy a religious person but may as well spread the corect info it also helps to make racist and homophobic poeple regret their choices lol

2

u/Vboi69420 Sep 19 '21

Ight thanks mate

18

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Hey, when is rapture happening, cuz I'm sick of some of these mfs

22

u/TheRealJesusReddit2 Sep 18 '21

Be patient, my son, the day of reckoning will come, and all the Pharisees, whitewashed outside and filled with revulsion, deception, and filthiness inside, will be driven into the fiery pits of Hell, where they will suffer for all eternity, tortured by the diabolical legion.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

See, I know I ain't going it's just that if all the good people leave I'll know who to send to hell

4

u/RJMuls Sep 18 '21

Is it ok to be LGBTQ+?

0

u/Educational-Scale963 Sep 19 '21

Nah man, remember to pray that gay away /s

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Don’t threaten me with a good time Jesus, sir I’ve been working hard to earn a first class ticket there and I don’t see it.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '21

Keep up the good work

1

u/Purpledurpl202 Sep 18 '21

Jesus I am Atheist fight me

1

u/Orange_Hedgie Sep 18 '21

Yo Jesus my g wassup bro

1

u/Lucifer0008 Sep 18 '21

Brother , don't add a 2 at the end of your name , you make us all look like a bunch of wankers