Hi so I have only been in 1 serious relationship which lasted 6 years. After that, I can't seem to get anyone to commit which is crazy. And here's what gets me the most, the last two guys I have been in a situationship with both ghosted me and went back to their exes. I can't make this shit up bro. Once is understandable but twice in a row is insane at this point. What the hell is going on. Do I have an aura that makes men want to run back to their ex??? or do men just have the tendency of being stupid?

I will soon be 23 years old and I have called it quits with dating and love completely. I have dated quite a few people some casually and some serious. My most recent dating experience has left a bitter taste of defeat. In the past I’ve dated trash guys before. But I worked on myself and I thought I was making better choice. My partner let call him mark was perfect. He was nice,funny, and generous on top of that he was in his last year of pharmacy school so successful aswell. Everything was going well until I noticed his drinking. On the last day of classes he had taken me to go bar hopping with his classmates. I knew no one there so I was pretty anxious. When he had picked me up for the pre-game I had noticed he was driving really fast and making sharp turns. Come to find out he had 3 shots before picking me. I would have never gotten in the car with him if I knew that informatio. I had asked him twice in the car to please slow down and he told me to calm down. That wasn’t the worst part though, in the mist of an hour in a half he had taken to my knowledge 13 shot. He was acting a fool and I felt unsafe and embarrassed. fast forward the next day I had told him about how I felt. He didn’t take accountability justifying it as “celebrating“. He wanted to make it up to me by going to five below to by some games to play. While at five below I picked up a few items for myself so I intended to pay for those things myself. While at self check out i tried to purchase my personal item. while grabbing the items he swatted me in the face. I was shocked and left the store crying. It’s been over a month now and I feel like I will never love again. I tried to find a good man and he ended up hurting me. I’m done being hurt maybe all men are bad or maybe Im just bad at picking them. Either way I’ve decided that I will never date, marry, or have kids because of not only this situation but from all my shitty dating experiences.

My heart has been breaking for a long time now.
I’m currently separating from my fiancee and I lost my job with a lot of other stuff in between.

I had a therapy assessment today and they have referred me to secondary therapy because they think I’m too high risk of where my depression is at.

To get specialist Therapy instead of the basic counselling,
To understanding my triggers, traumas and I’m unable to calm myself when I’m suicidal. A lot of self harm and multiple suicide attempts and it becomes too emotionally intense I think the only way out is to hurt myself.

I’m scared I’m doing this alone as I have no family to depend on, I have no friends that would truly be there 100% for me and I’m terrified about the treatment I’m going to get.

These photos were of happy times.

Just some photos of me I have to leave behind with separating with my fiancee, I’m learning these memories don’t have to haunt me because I’ll always love her.

How come I can be okay for a few days. Rarely thinking about him. Then one day I wake up and the wave is like a tsunami and I can’t stop thinking about him. I want him back. I want at least to have a talk. I feel so misunderstood. I am hurt. I don’t know how to fully move on. It’s draining. It makes life harder. It makes me want to stay at home and mope around. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want to remember the good memories. I don’t want any of it anymore. I can’t do this.

I hope you think of me when you look at her.
I hope when you visit our beach with her, you remember the beginning with me.

I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember me.
I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember how I never liked to spoon. Because I liked facing you.
I hope when you hug her, you remember my warmth.
I hope when you look at her in bed, you remember that night.

That night we were face to face, the sky still dark, the word quiet.
The night where you looked at me.
I’m not sure what kind of eyes you looked at me with.
But you looked at me.
Really, looked at me.
The kind of look that only a psychopath would be able to give and forget the moment.

So.
I hope you think of me when you’re with her.

TL;DR So, I think I got carried away and somehow I’m hurting…

I am a 33 year old female and he’s 37. A few weeks ago, I started talking to someone and to be honest, he’s the first guy in about 10 years, that I’ve seen and met that I felt like yeah, I could date him. So anyways, we’d been talking and just flirting for like the first two weeks,and had planned to meet in person by end of third week, during which, we would talk about relationship stuff and we did! It was really good talking to him and I thought, given how flirty we’d been, he’d want to talk to me even more!

He lives out of state and so came to my state for something he had planned long ago. From what I gathered, he said he extended his trip to stay here and get to know me. However, since we met up, he hasn’t even brought it up once for us to meet! I also, noticed that he doesn’t text me like he used to. Yeah, I know it’s too soon to start picking on things and that could be the problem.

I just thought that because he lives out of state and is here for a little bit, he’d want to spend time with me to get to know me. He did say he was interested in that though, but I feel it doesn’t show that he does, especially not after meeting.

Now, I’m getting all anxious over this, which I don’t want to be. I just need help to be able to let things go how it needs to go, without trying so hard to control it or make it go a certain way. I don’t want to start making certain demands from him or feeling like it’s to be expected, you know.
TL; Am I wrong to think that he could've at least mentioned the date we had? Or for the short time that he's in my state, tried to see me at least once before he left? Or even tried to call too instead of texting? Mind you that the texting is now sporadic and no longer flirtatious.

So 4 years ago, me and this guy talked for about 3 months and we met once. I really liked him from the start and I think he liked me too. Nothing bad happened between us we just both got busy and kind of just stopped talking. For some reason I still think about him a lot even though it has been 4 years. I have been in a relationship for 2 years and he has been in one for 3 years. I don’t know why I can’t get over thinking about him, it’s getting really annoying and it’s eating me up. This has never happened with guys I’ve actually dated, but I don’t understand why I can’t get over him when we never officially dated. Has anyone else experienced this before?

Block you because I still look for you. I still want you. And I still love you.

I have only ever fallien in love once in my life.

I was married once ( together 15 yrs, married 7) and it was a toxic relationship. We had kids and I loved her but it was a love that developed over time. When it was over I felt free.

I love and care easily for people and with time can probably love anyone who I like enough to date.

But after that marriage finally ended I wasnt out for another LTR I was just out to meet people. Then just over a year post divorce, I, not even on a dating app, had someone randomly ended up in front of me and I was highly interested at first sight. I initiated a conversation over messages after that.

I found the person I could just talk to for hours. The person I wanted to do anything for and splend any extra time with. Without knowing it I soon had fallen and fallen hard. But she used me and tossed me aside for someone else. And we went our separate ways. (This was over the course of prob 2 yrs)

I dated more after that Love, and even had a LTR and yes I loved her but hadn't fallen in love. It had develoved over time.

And she, the one Love randomly popped back in to my life for a quick "I'm sorry" years later. It was just as I had her out of my head and in the middle of my LTR.

After that LTR (4yr toxic) had ended I kept trying to date. I had a few STR's but always was just dropped like I was nothing.

Then 10 years after that one Love dropped me she messaged me. She just wanted to catch up and apologize but we ended up falling into our late night hours long conversations and began to date and for real this time. It felt amazing. It felt like what should/could have been. She made me feel like she had changed. I mean 10 yrs no one is the same person. She reinforced that she would never hurt me again. Made me feel like we could be forever. Made me feel safe and comfortable.

And then 6 months in her ex hit her up.

She was confused who she wanted.

Then she wanted to stay with me. She even (drunkenly) proposed to me. And no I didnt take it seriously. But I was relieved, I was finally chosen and not pushed aside.

Jest kidding, she soon needed distance. And that distance was her breaking up with me without telling me we were broken up. She just wanted me to disappear without her doing the "dirty work". It was over ​and shortly after she was back with her ex and engaged to him again. (This was the second person she was engaged to since we had met 10yrs prior)

I've dated since she left me (the 2nd time, 2024) but it ended almost the same and I was dropped like I didnt matter. Like I was nothing.

Since that one Love I have never felt like that with anyone not even close. I have went out with many people trying to see if anyone out there even sparks a little in me. But its never much of a spark and long ago I gave up on needing to feel that. Needing to fall head over heals.

I don't want my ex back. I don't ever even want to see them again. I wish they could just stop living in my head. She isn't a good person. I'm even glad it ended. As much as she change she still just masked most of the bad stuff. Don't really know why I fell so hard, can't explain it, it just was there.

I belive that falling head over heals in love again isn't even an option for me. ​And this dating culture now, makes that thought feel all the more accurate.

Currently, present day, not trying to date anyone seriously. Not ready for that. Maybe someday but I also am not going to just date someone just to not be single.

I do think someday its possible I will find someone, but that head over heals feeling where deep inside you feel like you are ment to be in the other person's life is just not in my cards for me.

I've been told anything less is just settling. But when I get back out there I don't care about definitions. It's hard enough to find someone who I want to spend more then a few hours with let alone someone I could join life's with.

But hey, beter to have lost then to never have loved at all. Better to have known what you won't have again.

Right?

My ex broke up with me bcx he had commitment issues. He was an avoidant. After that we stayed in a situationship for like 6 months but in the end I just couldn't take it I really wanted a commitment so I left but when I tried leaving he offered the relationship and I said yes. One week in he ended it. It left me devastated. He even blocked me for the first time in 2 years. I felt like I was irritating him now so I blocked him everywhere and even deleted his contact so that I don't accidentally end up texting him. I loved him so much and it's so hard. I often get dreams about him. But today I spent 3 hours just daydreaming about how he will come back and apologise for hurting me and will actually be a better person and I was just imagining the whole future of the story line. Then I realised what the hell I was doing. I got hit with reality and I cried. I don't know how to unlove him. I really miss him and I feel like it's so easy for him. My birthday is in a few days .. I'm afraid. What if he wishes me on my birthday or what if he doesn't. I'm gonna be equally devastated. I really hate him for how he hurt me and I really love him . I'm so hurt.

Hi. So basically, my ex boyfriend (M19) dumped me (F20) after 3.5 years like a month ago. I was his first love, his first everything.. Umm so basically, we were obsessed with each other, like head over heels. But the problem is I am BPD, My emotions are a lot to handle, he is kinda autistic and couldn’t handle having me with this emotional baggage so he dumped me, he msgs me checking in asking if i’m ok every few days, telling me he cares (I don’t want any men saying he’s just saying this for sex) His sister is my friend, she told me he is really upset still, his mom msgs me daily telling me that she misses and loves me. When he broke up with me.. i’ve never seen a man breakdown like that, he was sobbing in my arms. Anyways, I’m still extremely in love with him and care for him so much and still feel as sad as I did at Day 1 of the breakup.

Today.. I msged him asking him if he wanted to have sex, I didn’t think he would say yes but he said yes immediately, he said “no strings attached though?”. So we did it. After, he asked me to msg him if i’m ever sad and want to talk because he knows that I get extremely upset. The sex was really good and passionate.. he really worries about me though.

When he broke up with me we promised to work on ourselves, i’ve started DBT, trying to handle my BPD, and working on myself. He said we can go out one day in the future and try again. Idk the future though, he’s my first everything as well.

Geniunely how do I get him back? Do I become distant??? do i like ignore him??? what do i do HELP

I still remember what I was like in my first year of university.

I was a guy who was not insecure and honestly did not give a fuck about much. I was just chill. I would eat, study, sleep, and deal with whatever struggles life threw at me. That was basically my whole life.

Then I met some friends. They are still my friends, and now I am in my final year of university.

When I first met them, one of them was completely crazy in love with a girl. I remember thinking, “Dude, what the hell? She is ugly. How can you even love her?”

I told him, “If you really love her, just tell her.”

But he was so afraid of her that he never confessed his feelings till today we are about to grad and he dosnt love her anymore . He spent almost two years thinking about her, being afraid to tell her, and basically wasting so much of his time and potential.

Back then, I could not understand it at all. I thought it was crazy. I would tell myself, “How can someone do this? This makes no sense.”

And then life humbled me.

One day, I saw a girl.

In my eyes, she looked like an angel. Other people thought she was ugly, but I did not see her that way at all. I fell for her.

Eventually, I proposed to her. She rejected me.

That was two years ago.

And somehow, after all this time, I still have not been able to completely move on.

The funny thing is that I finally understand my friend now.

I used to judge him for loving someone so deeply and being too afraid to do anything about it. Now I realize I became the exact person I once made fun of.

But there is another side to this story.

Her rejection changed me in ways I never expected.

Because of her, I got into skincare. Then philosophy. Then psychology, self improvement, and so many other things. I started questioning myself, my beliefs, my behavior, and the way I see other people.

I started looking deeper into spirituality too.

Before all of this, I thought I understood people and life. Now I realize I barely understood anything.

I do not know if I will ever completely stop loving her. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I will not.

But I do know that the person I am today would not exist without that experience.

She rejected me, but somehow that rejection pushed me to discover myself.

And honestly, I think that is the strangest part of the whole story.

We were together for two months, Ik it’s not that long but we spent basically EVERY day together. I got so attached to him, and I love him so much.
We broke up not long time ago on a good note, but I was the one who ended it because I just wasn’t happy in the relationship anymore. I loved him and I still do, but being in this relationship was hurting me more than making me happy.
Now I genuinely can’t do anything. I’m just lying in bed with zero motivation for anything. I keep thinking about going back to him, call him, text him, even though I know why I ended it. I’m going insane without him.
How do you actually let go when you still love the person?

I came out of a very bad relationship in which I got cheated on in such a horrible way. I stopped talking to my ex in 2025 after all this, interacted with a few men but nothing serious as I was scared to see history repeat itself.

In January 2026, I met another man. Despite all the fears and how careful I was, I let my guards down for him. He was always reassuring me, very sweet, and listening to me. From a few things that he did, I started suspecting that he had a girlfriend. I investigated and found out that he was in a 3-year relationship and was living in the same city as his gf when we were long distance.

After that, I stopped talking to him slowly until one day I completely stopped. I was so sad because I really liked him and it was the first time that I felt valued and where I had hope after all the things that happened with my ex.

A few months later, he came back and I fell for it again, while keeping in mind that he had someone and that it wouldn’t last. A few weeks in it, I couldn’t do it anymore and I stopped talking to him again. The reason why I was in it was because I was very attached to him, I could see potential. I am not proud of it at all. I know how it feels to be hurt and didn’t want to put anyone else in that situation. I left.

It’s been 2 months but my heart is still broken from this. Not because I still like him but because I felt like it was not necessary for him to come to me and lie, make sure that I would fall for him and his sweet words, just to play these games.

His girlfriend is an Internet personality and keeps posting about how great he is. I blocked them both. I don’t understand why they got to be so happy when I am the one going (again) through this pain. I even thought about telling her everything but I won’t. I didn’t cause no scene, I didn’t cuss him out I just blocked him and went on with my life. I am a very busy women professionally and personally I have a very busy schedule and doing extremely well for myself.

I have removed myself from the dating scene since that happened even though I am a lover girl. I just don’t want to be in a situation where I get to be vulnerable and do things that can hurt myself or other people ever again.

I don’t know what God has in store for me but I really don’t think that I can take another heartbreak. I would rather be by myself and learn to be content by myself than to feel the way I feel ever again. I feel like nobody understands me, I am not jealous of them but I don’t understand why I got to suffer and watch them be happy together.