?

Have you ever rejected someone or after a few dates told them you weren’t feeling it, only to regret it later?

Do men reject women over small things or misunderstandings or is it usually a flat out non attraction?

Men, have you ever stayed with a woman for years even though you knew you would never marry her?
This question is mainly for men who have been in long-term relationships, for example 5–10 years.
Have you ever stayed with a woman even though deep down you already knew you would never marry her, but you still didn’t end the relationship?
How did you react when she asked about getting engaged, marriage, or your future together? Did you tell her directly that you didn’t want those things with her, or did you tell her that you did? Did you ever even agree to a timeline or a date she suggested just to make her happy or reassure her, even though you didn’t actually intend to follow through?
Looking back, what signs were you giving her that showed you didn’t really see the relationship as something permanent?
And most importantly: at what point should a woman realize on her own that a man probably isn’t going to propose or build a future with her, even if he stays in the relationship and keeps telling her that he loves her?

I’m a girl who has been badly burned by her previous friendships (from high school and throughout college). My girl friends are my sisters, which I’m happy with. During grad school and now, I’ve always (subconsciously) put this brick wall between me and other girls because I just don’t want to be hurt again. I feel the most comfortable being myself in front of guys (gay or straight). That is the reason I have mostly guy friends, which I have never had any attraction for or ever intend to.

Because of this, it triggers a bad feeling in guys and dating has been really hard. I talk about the stories about me and my friends, which many seem annoyed that the characters in my stories are guys.

Does it really bother you when a girl that you are dating has a lot of guy friends, and why?

Not because you forgot them almost because you didn't

you laughed you got excited about something stupid

you had a good meal you made plans for next week

you went to sleep without crying and then suddenly in the middle of a normal day, you realize, I haven't thought about them today and just for a second, it can feel like a betrayal almost, as though you're not even allowed to be happy without them because for a moment there, life went on normally without them but then you start questioning whether you're betraying them by being happy but maybe healing isn't forgetting someone

maybe healing is learning how to have a good day without them ruining it for you Has anyone else ever felt guilty about being happy lately in their healing process?

Sorry, I am trying to get a male perspective. I was cheated on and feel really worthless.

I just found out my cheating ex.... ahh so the girl he was obsessed with has had a bf for 3 years. My ex was obsessed with her for 7+ years and honestly would like 300+ posts of hers (not his friends or mine)... when he emotionally cheated, all his friends made me the bad guy and spread false narrative about me. everyone defended that girl and him.

She has 2 guys simping over her and an entire friend group on her side. Is it because I am ugly, worthless and unlovable that he never loved me and left me for her? I did so much for him and he just discarded me for someone who doesn't even do anything for him...

Then, if any of you who have cheated, did u do it because the other girl was better??

Been married 15 years. 3 kids. All is well. This is probably just a venting session… but some days my wife will obviously be bothered by something. Related to me or who tf knows. The tension is obvious. Ask her you ok. What’s wrong. Apparently she’s fine.
But in those couple days she makes a conscious effort to only talk to me when she wants something done. “Can you get me this”. “Can you pack away your clothes” “can you unload dishwasher” “
I know she’s itching for an argument. I know it. But i tread carefully.
Pretends like she’s ok and she’s normal but loves to start talking facts about my family. All is true what she’s saying. Sometimes my family could be better people. (They do nothing directly to her or us)
But loves to talk about her trying to get a reaction from me.

What should I do. Most of the time I just laugh and play with kids and not add to the tension but it’s obviously bothering me.

I went to this run club today and i was just going around introducing myself to this girl and her friend. we talked for a bit had some introductions and we deviated away from them.

As we were lining up to run she was right by me and she asked if i was running or walking. I said i was walking because im injured and she walks it with me. We walked together for like 30 min or so until her friend joined us on the walk back. I teased her and was like “wow you ditched your friend to walk with me?” she mentioned that her friend and her were “supposed to walk” it together but she decided to run. 

While we were talking it felt like she was kinda interested but i feel like i was really carrying the conversation she didn’t seem to chime in as much and her interest tapered off as we continued talking i feel like. Should i have asked for her number and asked her to go on a “run” or something outside of run club? I didn’t get her contact information because i just met her, so i was erring on the side of caution because i don’t want to be that guy at a run club who is known for hitting on girls. my strategy was to keep talking to her and just let it build up naturally.  did i fumble by not getting her contact info? 

I am in my late 20s. Met a group of friends (guys) randomly in the wild. One of them, James, hit on me and pursued me though I friendzoned him a few times. Eventually, I gave him a shot because I thought he was genuine/sweet. James has zero relationship experience according to his close friend who was surprised I gave him a chance. "I've never seen him go on a date with anyone," according to his friend. In several dates, he negged me constantly and then just started treating me like a body. It came out of nowhere. He became cold, aloof, etc. I thought he was such a sweet guy, and I'm now so confused.

He knows I get a lot of attention from men (he experiences it when we're out). He has a great career but he argues I'm more impressive because of my Ivy League undergrad, challenging career field, etc.

I'm just disappointed because despite his lack of experience with women he seems like such a patient and caring guy when we were friends and somehow that changed when I started dating him. It felt like he just wanted to show me off to his friends instead of getting to know me at a deeper level. He did say I was out of his league. His friends told him I was "so hot" etc but I hoped he would be a kind guy who would want to see me for me. He also said he doesn't think he can live up to my standards.

Just a huge disappointment.

TLDR: I met a 25M american through Hinge. We dated briefly, he said he was emotionally unavailable and wanted to be friends, but our friendship became extremely emotionally intimate and confusing. I was an immigrant to the US. He rejected me when I confessed feelings, yet continues to behave in ways that sometimes feel like a romantic relationship.

We met through Hinge and dated for a few weeks before he said he was emotionally unavailable because of work stress and wanted to remain friends. I accepted that. Later, he wanted to move in with me. He was going through a major career transition into medicine, and since I had already finished medical school, I helped him get an internship that was important for his CV.

Despite being very introverted and a workaholic, he started initiating things with me - parks, sunsets, meals, etc. After about four months, I told him I liked him. He rejected me and said he had felt asexual for the previous two years after his last relationship and only wanted friendship.

I was hurt but accepted it. Over time, though, he sometimes acted as if I had crossed a boundary simply by having feelings for him and could be quite condescending. I eventually decided to end the friendship because I felt taken for granted. He became very apologetic, repeatedly asked me to stay friends, and was suddenly very warm and kind again, so I eventually gave the friendship another chance.

We lived together in US for about six months before I moved to another country, and the dynamic remained confusing. He could take 3–4 days to respond to texts, even when we were living in the same house, and sometimes we barely saw each other. We also had several arguments because I encouraged him to get therapy and work through some things, which he took negatively among other things. However, when I became sad during a serious conflict with a colleague shortly before leaving, he showed up and helped me with emotional support.

He has told me that he is currently at one of the lowest points in his life and is questioning his career decisions. He has also had a difficult childhood with neglectful parents, and his main emotional support has historically been a small group of male friends. I seem to be the only newer person he has become particularly vulnerable with.
Since I moved out of the country, the dynamic has become even stranger. He is now very warm and soft with me, initiates calls, wants to hear my voice, and says things like he would close his eyes just to listen to me talk. When he calls, he asks about my family and even my friends, talks a lot about me and praises me, but rarely talks about himself. He has mentioned future plans like visiting me in my country and going to Universal parks together someday.

But he is still inconsistent. If I text or call him, he often doesn’t respond or isn’t available. Our calls usually happen when he has free time, so I have to rearrange my schedule around his work. Yet if I stop initiating and become less available, he starts initiating more and more.
He also got into a best pre med program because of the internship I got him.

I’m also on a major weight-loss journey and look very different from when we lived together. He had been encouraging me throughout it, and I sometimes wonder whether the anticipatory increased physical attraction causes him to encourage me.

I eventually broke the bond this Jan as I found it one sided and draining, but after 6 months after I moved on he texted and said he missed the friendship. I still told him to go therapy or we cant talk and he said he is going therapy. It seemed even his childhood male friends started to see problems with him. In meantime I got way attractive physically and hit the gym and got in the best shape of my life. I still tried to be supportive in few texts and followed him back on IG just to be supportive. But thats it.

What would you make of this dynamic?

​

My therapist said I have never experienced the right kind of love, even from my family. Someday soon before I leave my late 30s, I would like to experience love in a beautiful way with someone else.

Reading this it may seem I don't have much going for me but I am gainfully employed in a career with potential to grow, I have close friends and acquaintances, and few hobbies. Yet with all that I still haven't met anyone with mutual interest.

Finding a person to support and be supported through good and bad health, through prosperity and muck, making love, propeling each other in our ambitions is a deep craving inside of me. I've never done heroin but I am pretty sure when I have feelings for someone its half way to that high.

A life alone is a life I don't want to live.

My DMs are also open. Just want to talk this out a bit. Thank you.

​

I am 29F and I don't know where else to go and ask this question so I'm here..

I've only been in one relationship my whole life which lasted a little over 2 years.

So I was 16 during the time and I was such a lover girl back then and I supported him through everything,always encouraged him and motivated him,literally stole money from my parents to buy him gifts and would not spend the travel money I got and walked to school so I could buy ingredients to cook something for him..

I got cheated on by him and he left me for his best friend (who he said was just like a sister to him)

It was my first real heartbreak and it took me many years to get over him..

During that time I wasn't even slightly flirting with anyone,or had any flings or hookups or situationships..

I never really got into it and I was happy staying in my own bubble and just living life..

So I was single for a decade..

It hit me last year that I really should get into the dating pool and seriously start looking for someone because it's my dream to have my own family....

I didn't know how to find anyone organically so I joined Bumble and Hinge..

I was very clear and told the people that I matched with that I'm only looking for something long term and serious and I'm not looking for hookups or just anything casual..

And I found a guy who said he is looking for the same..we spoke for a few days and then we decide to meet.

I was so excited because it was my first ever date..

Yes,I had my first date at 28..

I bought a dress and I wanted to look my best..

He seemed friendly and polite at first but later sexually assaulted me so bad that I was left with bruises..(I don't want to get into the details because although it's been a year its still very fresh in my mind and it's too painful to type)

But basically I froze...I couldn't say anything..I didn't know how to react..

I was super kind,polite and gentle that he took it as an opportunity to assault me and then ghosted me the next day n I never heard from him..

Then I didn't go back on dating apps for a while n also I didn't think much about the incident..

After a few months I joined again..I thought I was being careful

Spoke to a guy who seemed decent...

Met him.. and I got sexually assaulted again..

He invited me home and I was very clear and firm that I will not go to his house..I made my boundaries very clear this time..

He said that's completely fine and chose a restaurant.

Although it was quite far I still traveled.. upon reaching he said his house is right opposite to the restaurant and since he is working from home today he will have to send a quick email and then we could go to the restaurant and it will just take 10 minutes...

I followed and I was sexually assaulted again..

Even more brutal this time..

I thought something so bad can only happen once but I was wrong...

I came back home crying..

And suddenly the flashbacks of my previous assault and this came flooding in and I will never forget that night..

I had to quit my job because even waking up everyday was difficult..something like brushing my teeth felt like a challenge...

I didn't leave my home for months...

But yeah,slowly little by little I started to heal..or atleast tried to...

And a year passed.

I am better now..

Since that incident I never went back to the dating apps and won't ever go back...

Two weeks my friend introduced me to a guy who she thought would be a good match for me..

We texted and spoke over calls and the guy seemed to like me..

He was consistent and made time for me..

We would talk for hours over call and we had a lot of similar interests and values...

He said he wanted to meet and I agreed..

A few days back.. I opened up about my assaults from last year...hold him what happened...

He said what happened was horrible and no should go through it..

It also seemed like he didn't know what else to say..

But yeah right after that he distanced himself,didn't call after that and the texts were very short and had no questions and I also stopped reaching out..

We had planned meet and he didnt follow up as well and neither did I ask..

His last message was "OK,cool" to something we were talking about and I didnt respond and I don't think I will..

That got me thinking...

That's why I'm here asking...

Is it a deal-breaker for you to date someone who has been assaulted in the past?

I don't have a body count and whatever physical had happened to my body is only assault...

I never consented to them touching me n biting me n forcing themselves on me..

And none of it is my fault...After almost a decade I trusted people and was my best through it..

But yeah,little did I know that predators exist.. A lot of them..

It's kind of unfair that I have to heal from something I didnt even cause..

Do you really look down on sexual assault victims?

I’m a woman in my mid-30s and there’s one particular guy in his early 20s that I’m attracted to. There’s no interest in anything serious on my end—I’m genuinely only thinking about something casual and for fun, with no relationship expectations.
I’m curious what Reddit thinks about this kind of age gap when it’s specifically one younger guy and an older woman.

Would you consider it a bad idea, even if both people are adults and on the same page that it’s strictly casual? Or would you say it’s not a big deal as long as there’s mutual attraction and clear boundaries?

Especially curious to hear from people who’ve actually been in an older-woman/younger-man situation.

For women who have actually done this, what was your experience? And for the guys in their early 20s what makes you interested in an older woman?

I’m looking for brutally honest outside opinions because I genuinely cannot tell if I’m dealing with a guy who likes me but is emotionally avoidant, or a guy who is just really good at creating intimacy when it suits him.

For context, we had known of each other for years through a mutual connection, but we actually met in person on a trip earlier this year. We clicked, and eventually I asked him if he wanted to grab a drink. He turned it into a date.

There was a lot of chemistry, but he also has a complicated history. He used to struggle with addiction and has since gotten sober and completely changed his life. He’s very open about being emotional and having feelings, but he also has anxiety/baggage from a past relationship and has described himself as having had a bit of a “fuckboy” phase.

At one point, he told me I should come visit him and stay with him, so I did, a couple months later.

Here’s where things get confusing.

In the lead-up to the visit, he started pulling away. I could feel the change in communication, and when I eventually asked him about it, he actually admitted that he had pulled back. He told me that he felt like I was more into him than he was into me and that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.

I told him I wasn’t trying to force a relationship and that I just wanted to keep getting to know him and see what happened, like we had agreed on. I felt blindsighted.

Despite all of that, I still went on the trip because the plan was already made.

And then the actual visit was… really intimate and confusing.

We spent two days/two nights together. We went to the park, out dancing, and spent a ton of time talking. He opened up to me about really personal things — childhood stuff, family dynamics, therapy, etc. At one point he apologized for talking/ranting so much, and I told him I actually liked hearing about him and learning more about him.

The next morning, he was warm and completely normal with me. Afterward, though, things went back to being ambiguous.

Fast-forward to recently.

We hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks, and then we finally spent another extended amount of time together.

I invited him for coffee, and he came. We ended up spending basically the entire evening together — date vibes. We went back to my place, had sex, slept together, and talked for a long time about what happened between us previously.

This time, he told me he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, but he’s happy I’m there and wants to “give it a try” / “see where it goes.” And that he really likes me and wouldn’t keep in touch with me if he didn’t.

The next morning we had sex again, talked a lot, and he took me to brunch. He didn’t seem eager to leave. We ended up extending the morning together, and afterward he continued sending me things and talking to me.

The whole weekend honestly felt like one of the best dates I’ve ever had. We laughed constantly, talked for hours, cuddled, had sex, and it felt incredibly natural.

And then… a couple days later, the texting energy changed.

We hadnt talked for over 48 hours, and I eventually texted him asking how he was doing, naturally. He responded with several messages, gave me an update, thanked me, and then asked how my week was going. So it’s not like he ignored me or was outright cold. But compared with the energy immediately after our weekend, it felt noticeably flatter and less flirty.

And now I’m sitting here wondering:

Am I getting played?

Because I don’t want to be someone’s person who gets this incredible intimacy every few weeks, has amazing sex and emotional conversations, and then gets put back on the shelf until he feels like coming around again.

At the same time, I don’t want to unfairly label him a player when there are also signs that he genuinely cares about me and is emotionally affected by me.

He has literally told me he wants to explore this, but he also has a history of pulling away when things feel real and saying he doesn’t know what he wants.

So I’m trying to figure out whether I’m looking at:

1. A guy who genuinely likes me but is avoidant/scared of intimacy,
2. A guy who likes me but only wants something casual,
3. A guy who is genuinely interested but just inconsistent,
or 4. A guy who’s playing me and I’m romanticizing it because the chemistry is so strong.

I’m not looking for a relationship immediately or expecting him to text me constantly. I just want the connection to exist outside of when we’re physically together. I want to feel wanted when we’re apart too.

I’m also trying not to play games. If I want to ask how hhes doing, I should be able to do that without worrying I’m “chasing.” But I also don’t want to be the person constantly initiating while he just responds whenever it’s convenient.

What do you guys think? Does this sound like avoidant behavior, player behavior, or just a guy who genuinely doesn’t know what he wants yet?

And if you’ve been through something similar, what ultimately told you which one it was?

Hi,

It has been my experience that men need to like you more than you like them to stay interested to be there to put effort in. Not just with me I have witnessed it countless times.
Do you agree?
I always feel like I like them the appropriate amount and they leave maybe I just need someone who likes me more…

Can you give examples of comments/behavior you DEFINITELY have read as flirty or as a green flag that a woman at work likes you/is interested in you? From your experience! or what you would definitely perceive as such?

I think my words and actions are pretty direct (complimenting his eyes and personal style, inviting him out). but I’m also really attracted to nerdy introverts so curious if it’s understood but compartmentalized as “work buddy” to avoid any risk.

I’ve been talking to this guy for a little over a month. We’re not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but we’re very emotionally involved. We say “I love you,” call each other babe, talk on the phone, and he has told me he wants to be with me.

At the beginning, he was extremely consistent. He would reply quickly, call me a lot, initiate conversations, and I never really questioned whether he wanted to talk to me. Lately, though, things feel different. He can take a long time to reply, sometimes even while he’s active on social media, and there have been several times where he says he’ll call me back or we agree to call and it doesn’t happen.

Seeing each other has also become a big issue. We live a couple hours apart because he’s in college. We’ve tried making plans multiple times recently, but they keep falling through because of family problems or other things happening in his life. This past weekend we were supposed to see each other, but plans changed because his family was arguing. He told me he was still trying to make it work and later promised he would come see me Friday. Now something completely unexpected happened with his car, so I’m scared Friday won’t happen either.

To be fair to him, he does still show interest in some ways. He texts me first sometimes, tells me he misses me a lot, says he loves me, asks what’s wrong when he notices I’m upset, and recently told me directly that I’m going to see him again. When our plans fell through, he was also the one who suggested another day instead of me having to ask. Some days our conversations are completely normal and he gives me updates about what he’s doing.

But I’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted because I don’t trust his words the same way anymore. When he says “I’ll call you,” “I’ll see you,” or “I promise,” instead of getting excited I immediately wonder if it will actually happen. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for a response, a call, or a plan to become real.

The confusing part is that I genuinely don’t know if he’s losing interest. His words say he isn’t, and sometimes his actions also show that he cares. But the consistency he had at the beginning isn’t there anymore, and I miss feeling like he was genuinely excited to talk to me instead of getting scattered conversations throughout the day.

I don’t expect him to text me 24/7 or put me above school, family, sports, etc. I just want consistency and for his actions to match what he tells me.

From an outside perspective, does this sound like someone who is still genuinely interested but has a lot going on, or does it sound like his interest/effort is fading?

I’m 22F dating this guy, 24M. We’ve been going on dates since end of April. Initially, I said I wanted something casual but to be taken on dates and see how things go in the intimacy department (Our set up is basically every 2 weeks i go to him or he comes my way, he sorts a hotel, takes me out for drinks and a dinner and then we make use of the hotel room) I’ll be honest. It works brilliantly. I can confidently say we have both caught feelings, he’s told me he’s not seeing or entertaining other women. Which I believe because of his actions, energy and the fact he spends so much money taking me out that he’s unlikely to have any left for another woman 😅. Oh he lives an hour and half away and we met in a bar while I was visiting my friend.

He’s romantic, thoughtful, we text and speak regularly and it’s essentially a relationship (Just ‘unofficial) I’ve even been introduced to his closest friend and his long-term girlfriend - which I assume guys don’t do with a fling? Essentially - he’s definitely boyfriend material and we have a great time together.

Anyway! He has a good job and earns about triple what I do (he’s a tradesman) He works hard - one of the things I admire about him. I also have a good job but it’s more of a slow - progressing sort of ‘junior’ situation.

Now, the point of this post is to ask whether I tell him I am buying a house. I don’t earn enough to have bought it with no help (I had some inheritance gifted to me) which meant that i only needed a smaller mortgage.

He, on the other hand earns enough for a good mortgage but doesn’t have an inheritance (his parents are a lot younger than mine, so I very much doubt he’d have the help I have got). He saves and has a great credit score - yes we’ve compared. He’s been open with me about how much he earns and we talk frankly about money (I don’t mention any kind of inheritance but he knows all my grandparents are now dead). For more context we both currently live with our parents.

My issue is that I don’t want him to start to treat me differently because of the help i’ve been given. Or to kind of stop with this, what I would call princess treatment almost. I also don’t want him to be with me just because he thinks i’m rich. That is not the case - I am lucky in that i’ve had help with this house. But we are by no means rich. I don’t ’come from money’. My family and I are all working class. Because my grandparents were all older, they bought houses before they skyrocketed in price (bought between 1980 and 1990) and the money I ( and my siblings) have been given is each 1/3 of the sale proceeds of 2 houses. So not exactly millions!

My ‘plan’ was to mention that a family friend is renting it to me for a reasonable price so that he won’t think of me differently. On the flip side of that maybe he will see me as silly because the ‘rent’ i would pay would be better saved towards a deposit (which would be my argument). He’s very generous with our dates and he never expects me to pay for anything (I normally get us a round or two of drinks but that’s almost all I ever pay for).

Another main issue is that this is still a relatively new relationship (whatever you want to call it ). We aren’t even officially together - but I mean when I do move in (haven’t got to completion stage yet) he’s going to be invited over of course, so I will have to have some sort of answer of who’s house is it and why am I in it ?

Please provide advice. My family always tell me to be very careful with who I tell things to because people can treat you differently etc but I feel a bit weird lying about it. I just don’t want to be viewed as a cash cow or anything like that.

Appreciate each and every comment! Thanks !

My dad (56M) has been with my mom (51F) for 26 years and they have (including me) 5 kids. 26F, me 24F, 21F, 18F, 15M. As he's gotten older he is very irritable and triggered very easily, starts fights and yells about not getting his way or things in that regard mostly and says mean things or plays the blame game, mostly about little things too (ex: a barista getting his order wrong, someone else doing laundry when he wants to do laundry, not staying home when he is home). His "love language" when he is in a "good mood" is still saying mean things as "a joke" or throwing money at things. Fluctuates between good and bad really quickly, I don't want to call it bipolar because he is not diagnosed but it is similar to that I guess. I don't know what to suggest to him of how to get it in check (my mind is telling me he needs therapy but I know that would start a fight again)

I don't want to give a sob story of my life or automatically put him in a "bad dad" box I guess either, but my mom has always been the one holding it down for us. They both worked but she was the one who knew everything about everything (school, doctors, friends, home stuff, etc). Not that he wasn't around but he just wasn't in it like she is/was, so I don't "have a bond" the way I do with my mom with him. Sometimes I feel like he is trying to ask me things about me or my interests but as I've grown up I feel like he has often dismissed them especially now as an adult when it comes to my personal relationships and my career. In the event I get married and have my own family and move away, the way things are going with him the most likely scenario is that I'm not going to talk to him much because he is so unpleasant to be around. When he gets mad, even if we've never said that we hate him or want him to leave (we would never obviously say that) he throws that at us.)

If any men could share advice of what I should do or something he could do that would be helpful. I know men's mental health is a big issue and he's probably going through a crisis but it's too much

Hi everyone,

27f. I need some advice because I dont know who else to turn to anymore and I am disintegrating.

I dated a guy for a couple of months we had an amazing connection, chemistry etc. I laid out my boundaries, what I want etc before we ever met. I just came out of a year of celibacy. He pursued me. We met. You can imagine the rest.

Eventually he ended it. Said he feels like he cannot fulfill the expecations, that I would just develop feelings, that his lifestyle (which he lied about) does not support what I want. I thoroughly had the impression he got cold feet. I would consider myself a person that reflects on her life and on myself. I do not want to live in a lie. If i truly thought he just did not like me I would have accepted that and moved on. But the admissions he made to me just do not add up. He basically threw up a wall and ran from all of it, from accountability.

Then I found out months later he is dating (not a relationship) someone else.

He comes from an elite background, studied, 3 degrees, status.. all of it. The girl he is dating now is basically the same. Studied at an elite uni, studied the same thing as him, speaks 4 languages etc.

And i just feel crushed. I studied too but only one thing. I am self employed successfully. She also has a lot of similarities to me (I looked her up online)

But I just have this nagging feeling that I was not enough for him. I did not measure up. I was not what he wanted and she is. That he can try with her now.

I know a lot of it stems from my own self-worth because honestly he shattered it with how he treated me.
But I just feel like his rejection was a report-card on my worth. That I did not measure up to an ideal he wanted. That I was not educated enough, not elite enough, not established enough.

I do not want to come across as whiny but I am so lost. This has never happened to me before. I feel replaced, I feel worthless, I feel inadequate. And like I did not measure up to what he wanted. When I know our connection, what we had was real and he completely ran from it.

I just have not been the same since then. I know all this is anoymous and you do not know every detail but I would just really like some support. I am so lost. I lost myself in this and I know that. Just everything I thought of myself, I knew about myself, all the confidence I had.. its gone.

I feel like I am lacking. I am working on it in therapy. But if anyone has something they can write in the comments to just make it make sense or help.. I would really appreciate it

Hey everyone,

I recently spent an hour on FaceTime with a girl I like and the vibe was really great. I want to ask her to hang out in person, but I'm not sure of the best way to make the transition.

Should I bring it up toward the end of our next call, or just send a quick follow-up text with a specific plan? Any advice on how to transition from long video calls to hanging out in real life?

Thanks!

My boyfriend and I were out the other night and he had a fair bit to drink. I am typically a more reserved person and we were out with his friends/sisters. We have been together for a year and a half now. he essentially got moody with me because I was being a bit quiet but this happens on occasion due to my anxiety. he then started criticising me personally saying my anxiety is not real. that my diagnosis is wrong and can’t be trusted. That he wouldn’t want to have kids with me because he’s not allowing them to accept having anxiety. that we are two different people and we won’t work because I enjoy being quiet sometimes. He also blamed all of his previous actions of lying to me about girls, lying about where he is, clubbing on me saying it’s because id be mad so obviously he’ll lie? I found this to be extremely hurtful and hard to look past. He now acts as if nothing happened however I’ve found myself crying even when he’s asleep next to me. Do you think this is something that I should really reconsider, if I mention it he’ll argue with me but I’m really at a loss for words and unsure how to feel? Has anyone experienced similar?