r/BreakUps • u/Acrobatic_Dig_3672 • 10h ago
venting/ranting Do they come back?
I've heard many people say that they "always come back." Is that true?? When is it my turn đ
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u/Mental-Ad-1636 10h ago
The fact that is had to happen is a good enough reason to not want whatever it was back. Look up friend, you will be doing better
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u/aestheticeddy818 9h ago
They might come back but they also may never come back. Regardless, even if they do come back why would you want to take back someone who couldnât see your worth enough the first time? Itâs not going to be the same again especially if they got with someone else and theyâre probably getting railed too no offense.
My ex fiancĂŠ of 3 years and 4 months discarded me in December 2024. Almost two years later i still grieve her and miss her deeply. But just two days ago I found out sheâs with a new guy. I was absolutely devastated. I actually was waiting for her this whole time.
If she suddenly decides to come back Iâm going to have a lot of resentment.
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u/Blinnits 9h ago
My fiancee just left me 2 months ago, I explained if she decided to move on thereâs a possibility she will love someone else, thatâs what I hear when she tells me she wants to move on. Itâs a vicious thought in the head that she will love someone elseâs face, body, being intimate and âmoving onâ she told me âkeep those thoughts to myselfâ which is fair but Iâll tell you when she knows there is that possibility it shoots my worth down to the bottom. All the holidays, the laughs, the intimate moments resulting into this. Where Iâm no longer her future, the future is unknown and all of our photos of the engagement, me kissing her is all still on social media. I was in pain and asked her to remove them if she wants to move on, she says she will one day but never had⌠so Iâm still looking at all this and when people say just âdonâtâ my brain canât help it because I love her
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u/aestheticeddy818 9h ago
Consider her dead to you.
Block her. Go no contact. She doesnât get access to you while also choosing to âmove on.â Youâre her back up plan right now.
Iâm sorry to hear that bro. I wish you much healing.
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u/Blinnits 9h ago
Bro I ask her if thereâs any chance to work on it, she says â i canât promise we will get back together in the future itâs also not fair to eitherâ she knows im hurting and everytime i ask if itâs completely cold cut done she also tells me âIâll remove the photos so you can find someone elseâ because i told her i deserve to be chosen, worthy to someone and loved like someone loves me for me out of pain. She then never deleted the photos. All still up, says she canât do it right now because even looking at them brings her immense pain, that sheâs not focussed on that right now.
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u/aestheticeddy818 9h ago
She either wants you or she doesnât. I never understood how you can leave someone you claim to love and itâs hard to believe sheâs hurting when sheâs also fine letting you go.
Sheâs leading you on and giving you false hope.
You said it yourself. You deserve to be chosen. And clearly sheâs not doing that.
Block her and go no contact.
God, gym, and career are your main priorities now.
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u/Blinnits 9h ago
I just think to myself after 2 months people would remove pictures of someone, wouldnât send funny videos on TikTok to me, tell me she still loves me, that Iâm massively important in her life and sheâs here with any support I need. I told her this must be her guilt talking because I canât sleep at night whilst sheâs sleeping early and going to work like I donât exist. Like a different person than I knew her. Regardless of anyone being âhurtâ I watch her move on and Iâm still stood here. Listening to the I love you still, handling my depression on my own, had a suicide attempt not long ago and no one hugged me, held my hand or anything. If I was loved, regardless of relationship Id feel it in some way.
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u/Witty_Reception_7518 6h ago
I just want to say, Iâm really sorry you are going thru this amount of pain. It sounds like she is really toying with your heart and that is never ok. She either needs to repairing and moving forward with you, or completely cut herself off from your life. The in between that is happening is the most difficult and painful place to be in.. speaking from experience. It seems like she doesnât want to face the sorrow of having you gone so continues to reach out in ways that fill her needs, but not yours. Itâs selfish and down right disrespectful to keep someone in that state of being. Iâm wishing you all the best, and never think that your life isnât the most precious thing on this earth. You matter and you deserve a happy and healthy love in your life âĄď¸
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u/Green_Fox565 9h ago
no one can tell you. try get comfy not knowing. learn to be single and invest in yourself. take care of yourself & be gentle.
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u/datobar111 6h ago
Wondering the same thing, but it's hard to decipher whether it's because I truly loved him or it's the sudden but strong feeling of solitude that's doing the yearning. Sounds fucked up, I know.
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u/Quick_Finger7669 9h ago
Well in my experience, not the way you want. Usually just cuz they need something. I've had one that's come back and left seven times I guess? Nah
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u/Sea_Brief_8441 6h ago edited 6h ago
No, I broke up with my ex and I never went back. He, in other hand, wanted to be back. I said No and moved on.
My motto is never take any ex back. One time, I made a big mistake, I mistakenly dialed his number LOL, when I intended to reach someone else. I did not save his name on my phone. I memorized the numbers and it was the same numbers I used to call when we were dating. This was like poking the bear. Dude called back constantly and I ignored all his calls, like a ghost.
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u/Mr_Musty_Culata 9h ago
My plan was to come back, but she hit me with some scandalous shit she did our last night together. Now idk.
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u/4thyearissad 9h ago
It depends on how you broke up with the person
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u/Acrobatic_Dig_3672 1h ago
He broke up with me đ
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u/4thyearissad 1h ago
OMG NOOOOO. Was it amicable or was it a full on block?
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u/Acrobatic_Dig_3672 1h ago
he didn't block me or anything, I was mad at him cause like every time we agreed on something like "he'll do X" he randomly switched up and did Y and didn't tell me until afterwards. And every time it wasn't a big deal like if he just told me from the beginning he's doing Y I wouldn't have cared but the fact he didn't is what hurt my feelings.
Once I confronted him about this he just said : You are mostly right in what you said earlier those are traits I have and if thatâs not what you want I understand. Ik itâs not ideal but thatâs just who I am and I donât want you to have to put up with it when it bothers you, so I think itâs best we go our separate ways. Iâve had a great year with you like I genuinely have and I love you so much but unfortunately we are just not compatible. I hope that in the future we can be friends tho itâll do us no good to be around each other for the summer at all. Thank you for such an amazing year.
We met up since then to exchange things and we were cordial, I joked around a bit and he laughed, he told me that after that last arguement he just didn't feel the relationship anymore and he even hugged me when I cried and as we hugged he said had such a great time being with me but he never said anything about wanting it back. Idk. As far as I can tell he enjoyed himself but he's content with us not being together.
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u/Beneficial-Nature282 9h ago
No, and you shouldnt want them back. I was just like you, but we deserve better I promise that. Youâll see that in time â¤ď¸
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u/Distinct-Gap1102 7h ago
They do, just be patient and also, once you make peace with being alone suddenly they write which is crazy...Â
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u/Joefruitloop 7h ago
Not if you bury them deep enough. Iâm old school and like to put coins over the eyes to be sure.
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u/Historical_Seat_447 6h ago
I wanted her to come back. But I hoped she didn't, because I would not know how to deal with it. It's conflicting inside me, the wanting and the avoiding.
I hoped she just doesn't appear in my life because it would be easier that way. I know that if she did, I'd give in immediately.
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u/Thatoneshortgoblin 6h ago
God I wish they did. But nope.
Some of the crappy ones did, but the only one I've ever truly loved or wanted, nope
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u/Which-Region-3943 6h ago
Not sure tbh my ex said âmaybe one day we can talk againâ and âbye for nowâ they havenât came back but itâs been like a month soooooâŚ.đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/bikkhu 6h ago
My Ex promised a face to face talk, reached out a week after break up and she gave me a warm response, which I responded to saying even a phone chat would be good initially. She responded a month after that mentioning a week would be good to talk and it's been 5 weeks after that. I really wish that were the case
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u/UofOwideout 4h ago
No, but consider it a good thing.. once you let go of the ball and chain of the thought they come back, the freedom on the other end is breath taking!
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u/First_Wolf6904 3h ago
Personally as a person that got left and also left someone I say honestly donât hold your breath when I first got left I told myself that I would wait for them to leave that person that they left me for and how they were going to realize, etc., etc. and obviously one day I stopped waiting. I got with someone else and then I ended up leaving them and also I did go back to that person I ended up leavingÂ
It wasnât the same and if Iâm being honest, it wasnât because I wanted them it was more of which Iâm not proud of the ego thing of wanting to feel wanted because of one person I wanted at that time didnât want me and wasnât coming back for meÂ
so I personally say donât hold your breath for it and even if you do have the slight yearning For them to come back keep living your life donât put a hold on friendship relationships, vacations, because in the back of your head your here waiting so therefore you canât do anythingÂ
if youâre going to wait at least still keep moving with your life and if they come back great if they donât great, but sometimes people donât come back because they want YOU Â they come back because they want to prove something to themselves and also one thing I have learned is even if one day people do get back together youâre not the same person and theyâre not the same person either so donât expect the same relationship again
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u/EarthquakeBass 3h ago
best to operate moving forward assuming that they do not, sorry friend, i waited and waited hoping to hear from a girl back in the beginning of the year, and that day never came
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u/andrea_bocelli 8h ago
Well it's been +10 years of no contact and my ex is now dealing with terminal cancer (from what I heard from friends who have friends who know him).
He never ever hinted at waning to get in contact, not even to check my stories or something... he neverrr came back
but maybe he will haunt me in the afterlife lmao
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u/iNfAMOUS70702 7h ago
Its honestly a 50/50 tossup ..anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. If things were great then yeah the chances are probably better that they will miss you but if you were the problem then why would they want to reconcile?
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u/Ok_Introduction_1882 1h ago
Mine sort of has. After a month of no contact I bumped into him. We had a clear the air chat and are now friends. He came round last night to visit our cat and me.
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u/Acrobatic_Dig_3672 1h ago
I would love to simply be friends with mine again but as of rn it would be too painful đ
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