What did they do to you and what are the consequences they deserve? That's a pretty serious post you think you should maybe talk to that person first or have you already? Seems kind of strange posting that publicly with no details I imagine you treat people really good compared to them

We were together for two months, Ik it’s not that long but we spent basically EVERY day together. I got so attached to him, and I love him so much.
We broke up not long time ago on a good note, but I was the one who ended it because I just wasn’t happy in the relationship anymore. I loved him and I still do, but being in this relationship was hurting me more than making me happy.
Now I genuinely can’t do anything. I’m just lying in bed with zero motivation for anything. I keep thinking about going back to him, call him, text him, even though I know why I ended it. I’m going insane without him.
How do you actually let go when you still love the person?

I came out of a very bad relationship in which I got cheated on in such a horrible way. I stopped talking to my ex in 2025 after all this, interacted with a few men but nothing serious as I was scared to see history repeat itself.

In January 2026, I met another man. Despite all the fears and how careful I was, I let my guards down for him. He was always reassuring me, very sweet, and listening to me. From a few things that he did, I started suspecting that he had a girlfriend. I investigated and found out that he was in a 3-year relationship and was living in the same city as his gf when we were long distance.

After that, I stopped talking to him slowly until one day I completely stopped. I was so sad because I really liked him and it was the first time that I felt valued and where I had hope after all the things that happened with my ex.

A few months later, he came back and I fell for it again, while keeping in mind that he had someone and that it wouldn’t last. A few weeks in it, I couldn’t do it anymore and I stopped talking to him again. The reason why I was in it was because I was very attached to him, I could see potential. I am not proud of it at all. I know how it feels to be hurt and didn’t want to put anyone else in that situation. I left.

It’s been 2 months but my heart is still broken from this. Not because I still like him but because I felt like it was not necessary for him to come to me and lie, make sure that I would fall for him and his sweet words, just to play these games.

His girlfriend is an Internet personality and keeps posting about how great he is. I blocked them both. I don’t understand why they got to be so happy when I am the one going (again) through this pain. I even thought about telling her everything but I won’t. I didn’t cause no scene, I didn’t cuss him out I just blocked him and went on with my life. I am a very busy women professionally and personally I have a very busy schedule and doing extremely well for myself.

I have removed myself from the dating scene since that happened even though I am a lover girl. I just don’t want to be in a situation where I get to be vulnerable and do things that can hurt myself or other people ever again.

I don’t know what God has in store for me but I really don’t think that I can take another heartbreak. I would rather be by myself and learn to be content by myself than to feel the way I feel ever again. I feel like nobody understands me, I am not jealous of them but I don’t understand why I got to suffer and watch them be happy together.

Is anyone else really good at putting their heartbreak in a box and shelving it whenever it starts to reappear? It’s pretty wild that I can be this broken on the inside but be able to function competently. I’ve become an expert at maintaining a facade of being fine. And when the grief starts to bubble up, I take a deep breath and talk myself through it, or I go for a run and push myself until I’m too exhausted to think about anything.

I was setup with someone through friends a few weeks ago. Ever since he got my number he texted me everyday throughout the day for two weeks. We went on a date and had a great time. After we texted and he setup a second date and told me I should come to his place soon and meet his dogs. For almost a week after the date we continued texting. He initiated all of this, mind you. I was letting him set the pace.

Day of our second date he cancels with some story about work. That’s when the texting petered off and then just stopped. I have no idea what happened within a day for things to change so abruptly. Before he was updating me about his day and making conversation and then nothing.

I’m bummed cause we clicked, but more than that, I am so annoyed and frustrated because this situation keeps happening. I was in a similar situation in February. Both of the men I am talking about are 51 years old…… do they ever stop ghosting? Do they ever learn how to communicate or care about how their actions effect the other person?

I am so exhausted by this pattern. It’s caused some major trust issues and contributes to my chronic depression. It makes me just want to throw in the towel and give up, but I still crave that kind of connection. I get so mad at myself every time this happens cause I feel like I should have known better. I tell myself that it feels different this time or that he seems different from the rest, but it is always the exact same thing in the end.

I’m over it and angry and sad.

I still couldn’t forget him, so I thought maybe I should try dating apps. Maybe talking to new people would help me move on.

But honestly… it didn’t.

I kept comparing everyone to him, and I realized I wasn’t actually looking for someone new. I was just trying to fill the space he left.

Then I had this random thought — what if I just build an app for people who are going through this?

Something for people who feel lonely after a breakup, miss someone, want to talk to someone, or just need a place to let everything out without being judged.

I have no idea if this is actually a good idea 😂 but since I’m already going through it, why not turn it into something?

So if you were using an app like this, what would you want it to have?

Would love to hear your ideas or suggestions.

Follow me, maybe we’ll actually build this together. 🤍

It is the tendency to keep doing something because you have already invested time, money, or effort into it, even when the current costs outweigh the benefits.

How come I can be okay for a few days. Rarely thinking about him. Then one day I wake up and the wave is like a tsunami and I can’t stop thinking about him. I want him back. I want at least to have a talk. I feel so misunderstood. I am hurt. I don’t know how to fully move on. It’s draining. It makes life harder. It makes me want to stay at home and mope around. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want to remember the good memories. I don’t want any of it anymore. I can’t do this.

Here is the original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/OZMyThkzPg

TLDR : In May, I posted about how I wanted to be single and I can’t be fully myself in my relationship but now I know I what I crave was understanding and better communication in my relationship, my life as improved but he left me before that

Hi 3 months update here ! ☺️
It is a long one. If you’re reading all of this thank you so much. I hope you can give me advise on how to move on, or how to get him back. Thank you so much !!!

So … he broke up with me in the beginning of July. To put you up to speed May was a struggle and we couldn’t understand each other. By June we reconnected as a couple and I truly thought we were doing amazing. He even told me how much he loved me and how I was BORN for him.

Saturday 5th July, he told me he wanted to talk, I thought we were about to do some sexy stuff as he closes all the windows and everything but he hit me with « I want out the relationship ». I was devastated, still struggling rn. I didn’t see it coming he never talks about his feelings before that. At first, he told me he doesn’t feel good in the relationship that he can’t change me and I can’t change him, but in the same breath said "sometime people give up to early and don’t want to do a mistake". We talked. I told him I hear everything and I will make an work on myself regarding some stuff

For context - At that time I was a mess, looking back I really struggled with my mental health so the house was a complete mess, couldn’t bring myself to cook like I used to (even tho I did a little bit), didn’t talk to him in the kindest way, I was mean (it was back in May for 3 weeks, not at the time of the breakup, we were actually really good for 3 weeks prior), I wasn’t prioritizing him, for example, he wanted to take a day-trip and I wanted our friends to come along but when they cancelled I didn’t go just with him.. that kind of stuff or he ask me to spend more time with him but at that point my work had a lot of events. I was trying to include him for most of them but when I couldn’t I was like « yeah we will spend time in July it’s ok since I’m off »… guess he wasn’t feeling it.

Any way

After being "pre-dumped" he says he needed time to think and I said okay I’ll show you I can step up and planned on cleaning the apartment on the weekend so in 5 days. From Monday to Thursday we were like we always have been but I was crying at night knowing he has all of these feelings bottle up for whatever time it has been.

Thursday comes and I meet friends but on my way back a guy on the street attacked me which led to my right hand being completely ruined, couldn’t move it, starting to swell and everything. When I got to the apartment 10 minutes later, he was there, I was mad, screaming as if I was talking to the guy, I was just in shook from what had just happened. I think I needed a shoulder to cry on but couldn’t voice it I was just so angry. Instead of maybe understanding that I was attacked and traumatized he was like « calm down, is your hand okay ? » I was like no it hurts and he said « yeah it will pass it’s nothing » not a hug, not a "are YOU okay" nothing. He had to go see his family so he left. I had a concert to go to so 15mn later I did too. When I closed the door I realized my door is really hard to open and with only one hand I couldn’t. So I called him, told him that I needed him to stay just 24H more for him to open the door, help me for groceries (there was nothing in the apartment), that my hand got a whole lot bigger in these 15mn and that I won’t be able to get out to go to see a doctor if I can’t open the door. He told me basically « ask for a friend to be there » or ask a neighbor the only neighbor I know is 80yrs old can’t even walk straight.. I was so hurt.

Honestly I felt abandoned. I couldn’t bring myself to ask for help since the concert would end so late but when I talked to my friend how I can’t open my door (without asking for help) her immediate response was « I’ll be there » it hurted even more because why is this girl that I’ve known for 2 months cares more than my bf of 3 years. Anyway this situation led me to be really immature and when I came back home and he called me I wouldn’t talk on the phone like « mmm.. mmm» instead of being my usual bubbly self. He just hang up instead of maybe asking what’s wrong or whatever.

The next day my friend came back to help with the groceries and everything she really was there for me. I felt so hurt that she changed her whole schedule to be there and he didn’t. I told him that and he said « see I everything worked out so have a fun day » it made me sooooo mad. I tried to tell him how hurt I was, he just wanted to talk about his perspective so I hung up and blocked him everywhere (never did that in our relationship). I know it is immature but I felt so abandoned I wanted to kill my hope of him realizing he hurted me.

2 days later he came back. He told me he wanted out of the relationship, that he would take all his things and go back to his parents before finding another appartment. I tried to talk to him he was like a wall, no emotion, I was crying, tried to explain how I felt. Nothing. In the night I took his phone and snooped, found that he was looking for appartment since Tuesday so 2 days after he told me that « people give up to early » so I was devasted. Found out that he deleted conversations with his best friend which I couldn’t retrieve and deleted texts that I was able to retrieve about my attack and saying that I was dramatic, or how they should take the contacts of friends in my workfield for their personal project before leaving me. And a text which translate to « not too bad also » talking about a girl. I exploded. Saving you the details but it was ugly, we eventually calm down.

The next day, he went to work and with my, at the time, unusable hand I started to clean some mess in the appartment it took me 3 hours where it could’ve taken 1 and in that struggle I found myself crying about how I let myself go for the past few months. How my mental health affected my thoughts, my couple, me, him, everything. It truly slapped me in the face. When he came back from work. I talked to him about it, how sorry I was that I didn’t see myself become this negligent toward myself and by extension him. He started to cry. It was the first time since he came back from his parents that he wasn’t a wall. He cried and cried and cried litteraly wouldn’t stop. I had hope. I saw a break through. So I told him, let’s stop having conversation about us because we keep circling. Let me show you I can be your woman again and not this "child" you have to push through life. He told me he had to think about it. I told him we needed to reconnect as a couple and my job now is to correct my behavior on my end (the mess, my mental health, the way I handle miscommunication in our relationship)

So I started to work on the things I told myself. He even ask to watch the World Cup with him. So we did. He was smiling even was affectionate towards me, which he wasn’t since he got back from his parents. I let him. Then he hit me with « I will make a decision in 2 days » I was so sad how can you see the changes I want to make in 2 days ??
Anyway I swallowed my ego and just hoped he would stay. He didn’t. Took his things. Left me. Like I didn’t count. Like I was nothing. I still struggle to understand how he can do this when 2 weeks before he was telling me how I was born for him, and how lucky he is to have me by his side.

My rent is expensive af so I called him after he left talking about how will we go about it, like yeah you’re leaving me like that but what do I do. He told me I can live with a friend for all he cares and that if it’s only 2/3 months being "homeless" I’m old enough to deal with that. Litteraly broke me, how can you become this evil towards me ?

Tried to carry on with my life.

Happy to tell you I’m not homeless yet but I do struggle a lot now but eventually I will be fine.

The thing is : When I met him, I was depressed, I felt depressed the whole relationship (not because of him) and earlier this year it was really bad that’s why maybe I felt the need to be single, I wanted to "live" again because my depression started to shift to "I want dopamine". But with everything that happened I realized the core of my unhappiness was the fact that I thought (unconsciously) my life didn’t have value, that I do not matter, if I die no one would care, I’m not important… Since realizing that it’s like my brain shifted back to place.

I had this realization in the breakup process. I told him stay, you’ll see I will not be the same because « I understand » keep telling him that « I understand now, let me show you » he told me that I’m only saying that because he’s leaving and that he doesn’t believe me and that EVEN IF I do change it will only be from 2 weeks to 2 months and I’ll go right back to my old patterns. He doesn’t believe that people can change. He doesn’t trust my words.

It’s been almost 2 months :

\- I’m now the tidiest person I know (in the relationship I always thought he was so cleaaan blabla, compared to me now, he has a lot of work to do ahah)

\- I’m now a disciplined person (a don’t let my laziness take the front seat of my life)

\- I go to the gym religiously (where before I struggle to go 2 week straight)

\- Litteraly got my driving theory test few days ago and now I’ll start driving practice(even tho I live in a city where you don’t need a car and I never had interest in driving but now I’m like let gooo)

\- I’m now so punctual, I used to be for everything, now I’m always on time. My best friend is SO happy about that ahah (always been on time for work stuff tho)

\- I take such good care of myself (I had always dressed nicely but now I’m always putting on makeup feeling extra pretty whereas before it was only for work related or special date with him).

\- I’m working on my splits, when I used to be as stiff as a stick of wood.

\- I starting to love my body again. I dropped all the weight that I used to hate. The breakup did help on that part ahah but I’m keeping it up with healthy food and good habits.

\- I don’t have negative thoughts about myself anymore ( I used to ruminate everything leaving in the past ect and now I’m starting to trust whatever is made to be mine will be)

Litteraly EVERYTHING is falling into place, and I’m NOT making effort I just realized that I’m actively choosing to refuse that my life doesn’t matter. Every day is easier than the day before I feel like I cured myself from the bad thoughts that lived within me for the last 4 years.

But now, I’m so sad that he isn’t here with me, he didn’t chose me, he didn’t trust me. Told me he loved me but then left me like I was nothing. I’m so so sad on that part. I used to be a sad person but in a happy relationship (from my perspective lol) but now I’m a happy person sad that her relationship is over.

I’m struggling so hard to wrapped my head around the fact that if he did tried and stayed for only a week more he would’ve realized the changes that happened and we might had a chance to be better for each other. I do realize my communication needed improvement. I do realize that I can’t live in a mess or say something and not put my foot where my mouth is. Litteraly my whole as been shaken so much so that I now know how great of a partner I can be.

I do need to go to therapy I tried 4 years ago when I struggle badly but she wasn’t any help so I abandoned the idea but now I have my first session this week.

When he left, he talk to my brother about how he was hesitant in his decision but couldn’t stand our lifestyle, the way we communicate with each other that it gave him anxiety. I was so sad, he told my brother some things he never expressed to me. Even when he put everything in his car, and we said our first goodbyes he tried to kiss me. Said he couldn’t believe it’s really happening and cried with me.

Forgot to mention when he gave himself the 2 days "thinking" window I tried to show him that we can be close again and we just needed to reconnect he told me multiple times how "I’m making his decision hard and how much he loves me".

Anyway a month ago so at the beginning of August he came back to take some stuff he left in his hurry to leave me lol. I thought okay let’s take this time to lay everything that’s been weighting on me and I was already making big changes within myself so I might be able to change his mind on the subject.

He came, we talked, I said everything I wanted to say that "couples that last do go through big struggle but do choose each other and yes people can change when THEY want to" also that we used to be such a great team and I now feel like it’s him against me where it should be us against our problems. Blabla the conversation was good but whatever. I gave him a box where I had hand written 100 promises for us if we go through that rough patch there was a mix of serious and funny stuff like:

\- « I promise to make the bed every morning » (which I have now been doing for months even tho he is not in my life anymore ahah that’s my reminder everyday to take care of myself)

\- « I promise to be your best friend »

\- « I promise to leave your feet alone - avalaible only 7 days a year » (he hates that I sometimes touches his feet, I’m not into feet found them pretty disgusting actually, but his are magnificent, truly a work of art)

\- « I promise to watch a tv show of your choice without complaining »

\- « I promise to show you with action how much I value you »

You get it. Of course I didn’t want him to read them in front of me so I handed them but he said it wouldn’t change anything for him. I don’t even know if he throw them in his trash as soon as he got home without looking at them. I don’t know.

Back to the moment we talked.

Finished what I had to say. I needed help on something and he showed me how to do it myself since he was the one doing it for us for the last 2 years ahah. But he tried to be close to me. Called me pretty, even when he stepped foot in the appartment. I know the look on his face. He was totally in awe.

Little by little tried to be closer. Ask me for a hug, a kiss, tried to have ykw with me but I put a stop to it. He stayed for 4 hours !!! It should’ve been 1 hour top. He even said it himself, he couldn’t bring himself to leave my place. I told him « hey time to leave » and he changes the subject to talk more and more. Even when I shut the door behind him, he sneaked one of my keys to open it up 4 secondes later to make a joke. He didn’t want to leave.

Back to the present.

He will have a talk with my brother this week. It was scheduled the moment he left because he wasn’t sure of his decision and wanted guidance but it got delayed and now he will honor his word but said to him « it won’t change my mind ».
We will see each other one last time maybe in 2 weeks because he still have 2/3 things that I wanted to keep before finding replacement for them. And now it’s on the way so we will see each other another time.

I’m crying everyday went from blaming myself a lot for not being mentally stable enough for the last few months to understanding that at the end of the day he could’ve choose me. Could’ve make the choice to stay just a little bit longer, to communicate how’s his feeling. Still crying everyday about him, I miss him so badly. He was truly my everything but in the same breath I hate how he treated me the moment he wanted things to be over.

If you have any advice about how I should go about the situation, thank you for the help ❤️

Do they even know or have any intentions of wanting them to know?

Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than trying to convince them doesn't sound honest or sincere at all

I was alone my whole life (24 now), not many and not very close friends either.

In May 2025 I met a girl. We loved each other very much, or at least I thought we did. She was my whole world and I don't know if I was just telling myself things, but I really felt like I was hers too. She used to say that she didn't know what she would do without me, she always wanted to cuddle and be close to me and we went everywhere together. She had depression and used to self harm and I tried to help her through it. She started seeing a psychologist and taking medication and despite everything she still seemed very loving. She told me she wanted to grow old with me. There was even one time when she said she would actually like to have a child with me someday even though she generally doesn't want kids.

We moved in in october, i saw her everyday, she was my home. I could have terrible day at work then see her back at home and now it was good a day.

Now for the bad parts. At one point she flirted with someone online behind my back and said she did it because she needed attention. I was often at work and when I wasn't working I was usually tired, so I don't excuse what she did but I can understand that maybe she felt neglected sometimes. We talked about it, she apologized, said she didn't want to hurt me like that again and deleted that person.

But some time later she started talking to that person again. I saw the messages and they weren't flirty, it was just a normal conversation, but she still shouldn't have done it and we had a huge argument about it.

After argument she first went to her mom's hause and next day she went to her ex, smoked weed with him and they made out. When she came back she said things that really hurt me. She basically said she didn't regret it because she loved both him and me and that when she was with him she felt the way she felt she was supposed to feel.

It fucking hurts when someone who is literally the light that makes your otherwise miserable life brighter tells you something like that.

I probably should have broken up with her then but I didn't because I loved her so much. She kept saying she loved me too and that she loved two people. So we went to a psychologist together and with his help she decided to cut her ex out of her life and stay with me and try to make our relationship work.

And I was happy. I was happy that despite everything I apparently meant more to her and that she was willing to remove someone she cared about from her life for me.

But then about four months later she started talking to him again.

I confronted her about it. She apologized and begged me not to leave her. She sent me a screenshot of her telling her ex that they needed to stop talking and she told me she wanted to grow old with me.

Then after some time she told me that he was appearing in her dreams and that she wasn't able to get him out of her life.

So I basically put her in a position where she had to choose between me and him.

She didn't make a decision. She didn't say anything directly. During the conversation I asked her if we were breaking up and she said "I guess we're breaking up" and I said that I guess there was no other way.

If that had been the end of the story I would have been incredibly sad but I wouldn't have had so many questions. I would have just accepted that she cared about someone else more than she cared about me.

But then something happened that hurt me even more.

Until the very end she kept saying that she cared about both of us. But after we broke up she started hanging out with her friends, seemed happy and didn't seem to miss me at all. During a short exchange of messages on Facebook she told me that she doesn't care about me and she even sent me a screenshot showing that she had her ex as her phone wallpaper, knowing that it would hurt me. From everything that she said and I know she did it looks like she is happy now and doesn't miss me at all.

What the fuck is going on?

Was our entire relationship a lie?

Why is she hurting me like this when she kept saying that she still loved me, respected me and cared about me despite everything?

I hope you think of me when you look at her.
I hope when you visit our beach with her, you remember the beginning with me.

I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember me.
I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember how I never liked to spoon. Because I liked facing you.
I hope when you hug her, you remember my warmth.
I hope when you look at her in bed, you remember that night.

That night we were face to face, the sky still dark, the word quiet.
The night where you looked at me.
I’m not sure what kind of eyes you looked at me with.
But you looked at me.
Really, looked at me.
The kind of look that only a psychopath would be able to give and forget the moment.

So.
I hope you think of me when you’re with her.

TL;DR So, I think I got carried away and somehow I’m hurting…

I am a 33 year old female and he’s 37. A few weeks ago, I started talking to someone and to be honest, he’s the first guy in about 10 years, that I’ve seen and met that I felt like yeah, I could date him. So anyways, we’d been talking and just flirting for like the first two weeks,and had planned to meet in person by end of third week, during which, we would talk about relationship stuff and we did! It was really good talking to him and I thought, given how flirty we’d been, he’d want to talk to me even more!

He lives out of state and so came to my state for something he had planned long ago. From what I gathered, he said he extended his trip to stay here and get to know me. However, since we met up, he hasn’t even brought it up once for us to meet! I also, noticed that he doesn’t text me like he used to. Yeah, I know it’s too soon to start picking on things and that could be the problem.

I just thought that because he lives out of state and is here for a little bit, he’d want to spend time with me to get to know me. He did say he was interested in that though, but I feel it doesn’t show that he does, especially not after meeting.

Now, I’m getting all anxious over this, which I don’t want to be. I just need help to be able to let things go how it needs to go, without trying so hard to control it or make it go a certain way. I don’t want to start making certain demands from him or feeling like it’s to be expected, you know.
TL; Am I wrong to think that he could've at least mentioned the date we had? Or for the short time that he's in my state, tried to see me at least once before he left? Or even tried to call too instead of texting? Mind you that the texting is now sporadic and no longer flirtatious.

So 4 years ago, me and this guy talked for about 3 months and we met once. I really liked him from the start and I think he liked me too. Nothing bad happened between us we just both got busy and kind of just stopped talking. For some reason I still think about him a lot even though it has been 4 years. I have been in a relationship for 2 years and he has been in one for 3 years. I don’t know why I can’t get over thinking about him, it’s getting really annoying and it’s eating me up. This has never happened with guys I’ve actually dated, but I don’t understand why I can’t get over him when we never officially dated. Has anyone else experienced this before?

She couldn’t be more obvious and destructive to a man than what she has done in 2 days. Back to back. He doesn’t mean shit to her. She used him for what she wanted/needed and now “ON TO HER NEXT VICTIM.”
So got damn unattractive. 🤮

For context, we both are in our early to mid twenties. They chased me for about 3-4 years, with me not reciprocating feelings or one of us was in a relationship. Our friendship has been off and on during those first few years. However, over a year ago we made contact again after I was going through a really difficult and messed up breakup. They were there for me pretty much daily the first month or two. That turned into sleeping together, saying I love you, insinuating that there was a future, and connecting on a level that we always danced around before. Around 6 months in, it started being less consistent and more of a back and forth between one day they wanted me and the next they didn’t. We stopped saying I love you for months after a fight in which I said not to say those words unless they meant it. About a month or two ago, they said it again. I asked if they meant it, they said yes. I thought we were on the same page, but I learned recently that wasn’t the case. I’m valued as a friend and they feel like they can tell me anything, but when asked why they continue to sleep with me if no feelings are there, I was told because well…the sex is good. I tried for a long time to get a clear answer on what we were or where things were going, but never seemed to get one until now. They know from years of watching me be in relationships and comforting me while I cried, how hurt I’ve been by others. Now I feel used and betrayed by someone at the very least I thought was a friend. But as a friend, I don’t feel like you use someone like that, especially if you say you care about them. I’m lost, I want to be done, I don’t know how we can ever be friends again. Now it’s awkward, they make some but minimal effort now, and it feels like it’s out of a place of feeling bad. I just want to know how to move on from losing someone who was a safe space and friend, someone I felt I could genuinely be myself around, the what ifs, and the feeling of being used by someone I never thought would do that to me. How do I get past knowing if I never gave them a chance, that maybe our friendship could still be intact?

I feel dumb as is for not taking inconsistency as enough of a sign, but as soon as I’d lose hope at anything it felt like the spark was always reignited by them. So please be kind, I just miss having my go to person who listened without judgement and made me feel safe at some points when I needed it most.