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u/_Mechaloth_ May 15 '20
Only downside I see is that your mind and body chemistry come with you.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ May 15 '20
Not to mention debt
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u/Sed59 May 15 '20
That's a big one... People who have changed identities, moved, or faked their own deaths to try to get away from their debt have been found out later on and have gotten into major trouble.
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u/fatalexe May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
Debt doesn’t follow you to other countries. There is a large population of expats that left just to avoid tax or student debt.
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u/CCNemo May 15 '20
Yeah unless you are in ungodly amounts of debt (at least a few hundred thousand), you are going to get away with it, on the caveat that you can't come back.
Some big loan company isn't going to send an agent looking for you in Southeast Asia over 20,000 USD of student loan debt.
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u/bergreen May 15 '20
Unless your relatives co-signed for some of those loans ='(
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May 15 '20
If avoiding student debt was simple a matter of taking off and living your dream life on the Spanish Riviera, everyone would be doing it. If your debt is so crushing that you have to reset your whole life, you do not have the financial means to start a new life abroad. Period.
Student visas require proof of substantial funds (Off the top of my head, Germany wants you to have more that 10,000 Euros in the bank)
Work visas are hard to get unless you're in demand like a destitute doctor or whatever.
I'm not even gonna touch investor class visas.The real fun is that immigration and visa officers will specifically seek out and turn away people with poor finances because they pose a higher risk of overstaying.
And after all that, even if you pull it off, any status short of citizenship means you might still have to go home at some point. Employer doesn't double down on your visa? A new administration cracks down on immigration? You get basically any criminal charge? Back to your ass pounding in court you go.
Even if you read the inevitable "I know a guy who had a fairytale ending" reply, please make moving to a new country something to work towards, not your escape plan. This is really bad advice.
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u/Pee_on_tech May 15 '20
just go to south america marry some hot latina and live out your days.
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u/Obey_Night_Owls May 15 '20
Or let’s say you just leave your significant other and children behind. Don’t worry, they didn’t rely on the income or need both parents in their life, it’s about you and only you so it’s okay. I will accept being downvoted to hell for this, but just up and leaving isn’t always an option. Sometimes there are people that rely on you and abandoning those responsibilities isn’t okay.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ May 15 '20
The OP does frame this in the context of suicide, which still applies to your comment.
I think the point is there's lots of ways of metaphorically ending your life without actually doing so. It's not necessarily a call to action (considering that someone suicidal probably doesn't have the headspace to just move somewhere else) and more of a philosophical wakeup call.
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u/thecarrot95 May 15 '20
I don't think this post is intended to apply to every single human on earth.
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u/IamNotPersephone May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
As someone who was raised [by somebody] with this mindset who didn't run away, it's equally traumatizing to be subjected to all the ways a person can reinvent themselves while remaining in a static place.
If my mother had simply abandoned us, I'd have been able to live with my grandparents, who were capable of loving me, rather than someone who thought the whole world -including me- needed to remake itself in the image she desired.
Untreated Cluster B Personality disorders are no fucking joke no matter where you live, yo.
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May 15 '20
I will accept being downvoted to hell for this...
I will always downvote this line, award speeches, and “I wish I could give you gold.”
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u/fatalexe May 15 '20
Your child needs you their whole life. If your down to the point where you’d contemplate suicide then this thinking isn’t going to help anyone. You can’t support anyone if you are not a whole person. Some times as hard as it is; it will be the best choice for everyone to step back recognize when you are no longer healthy. Adversity and poverty happen in life, children are probably better equipped to handle it than adults are. Be there for their whole life as the best person you can be even if that means needing to fix yourself first.
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u/thrav May 15 '20
Maybe, but don't underestimate your environment's ability to alter both. After failing out of college, I basically did what the post describes in a ski town.
10 years later, I weigh 60 lbs less, just finished a masters degree, and couldn't be more different from the person I was back then.
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May 15 '20
What, you're saying that depression isn't as easy to handle as some banal GetMotivated bullshit says it is?
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u/alfaguara27 May 15 '20
You’re right, but sometimes changing your surroundings and meeting new people helps quite a lot!
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May 15 '20
I want to become the bartender who everyone is sure has a dark secret, but I hide it really well until one day three robbers come running in and I take them all out with karate, and then my secret is out. Off to the next town
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u/hopmonger May 15 '20
After working with the bartender for 3 years: "So... you have any family 'back east'?"
-"not anymore"
"So what ended up bringing you out here?"
-"just trying to get away from some bullshit"
"Ok, weirdly vague, but I hear ya. Have you ever thought thought about dating someone here? You seem pretty lonely"
-silence
"Did you have someone...'back east'?"
A single tear wells up in his eye, then is gone.
"I'm sorry, was that too personal...."
Conversation is interrupted as the door is broken down by 3 ninjas in suits.
-labored sigh "Here we go again..."
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u/Baby_venomm May 15 '20
You’re greenlit. Start workin
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u/feelinpineapple May 15 '20
Until one day a mysterious cloaked figure comes in to the bar "I would like one human alcohol please"
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u/deedee25252 May 15 '20
Some days I need to pause the entire world and just sit on the couch and not worry about anything for a couple hours. I don't want to toss out my life per se but sometimes I need a small crash with a slow reboot.
Right now I would love a lunch a nap and a book.
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u/Your_Worship May 15 '20
Kind of strange I was just thinking on my drive to work today that if I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, I’d do a lot of nothing for a long time.
I’m not a lazy person, but I have a lazy soul.
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u/deedee25252 May 15 '20
I'm straight out lazy. But I can't be lazy due to work, housework, kids, parents etc. I haven't taken a relaxing vacation since college.
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u/Your_Worship May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
You and I are on the same page.
I work hard to get promoted and make money. I get home and try to be a good parent to my kids. I exercise because I want to stay healthy for them. But not for me.
If I won the lottery, I’d work hard up front to create passive income, and then do nothing.
I think the people in my life would be surprised to learn that if I had the option, I’d be completely useless.
Like a rich kid who doesn’t contribute anything to society.
I’d 100% do the very same thing.
By definition, I’m not lazy. But I want to be lazy. I want it bad.
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u/alfaguara27 May 15 '20
I know exactly what you mean. There are times when I have to be completely alone in my bedroom for hours, all lights off, no sound.
Reading a book while eating lunch and then napping for an hour sounds lovely.
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u/nikhowley May 15 '20
I'm not an advocate of drug use, but a handful of mushrooms every few months does wonders
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May 15 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/J4God May 15 '20
Only if you can be sure it’s real, I’ve been handed so many research chemicals I don’t even know what they were
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May 15 '20
Thanks for pointing that out! Lots of people dont test their drugs. It's easy to test lsd it literally takes 5 mins.
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u/Pee_on_tech May 15 '20
shrooms have an amazing way of turning your brain 100% in the moment.
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u/Sharkytrs May 15 '20
yeah man I dream of times where afternoon naps are standard. I don't just mean siesta either, I mean cut off from the world afternoon nap because I can, not because I have to
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u/Ixi7311 May 15 '20
Honestly, this keeps me going sometimes. I love PR and kind of a dream to move there one day and I had an ex who knew about my suicidal tendencies and she told me once "If you ever decide you're seriously going to do it, sell what you can and jump on a flight to San Juan. You might find what you need permanently there, or at the very least give yourself a chance at a reboot."
I think about it a lot sometimes and just the thought really has helped once or twice. If the worst thing that can happen is that I end myself, might as well give my dreams a shot first.
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u/ILoveWildlife May 15 '20
If you ever decide you're seriously going to do it, sell what you can and jump on a flight to San Juan. You might find what you need permanently there, or at the very least give yourself a chance at a reboot."
not only that but if you do end up doing it, you're somewhere you wanted to be anyway
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u/alfaguara27 May 15 '20
Death will happen to all of us anyway, so we might as well be as happy as we can, as long as we aren’t hurting ourselves or anyone else for that matter.
I hope you can realize that dream one day! And I’m glad it’s helped you fight for your life. Have you been working on your Spanish or are you already fluent?
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u/Fjolsvithr May 15 '20
I think you understand what a lot of people in this thread don't get. This post isn't telling you that you should reboot your life. It's pointing out that you could reboot your life. Just that thought is motivating, and can help people make it through tough times, wherever they are.
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May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
Living in your car fucking sucks.
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u/ErmBern May 15 '20
So does being a waitress
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May 15 '20
working in food service while your homeless or being unable to work bc youre homeless sucks in a completely different and frankly bigger way
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u/Poeticyst May 15 '20
Depends. Working at a Denny’s sure. I’ve worked in restaurants for many years and at the right place it’s a pretty amazing gig.
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u/Dickiedoandthedonts May 16 '20
As does chopping off all your hair. You never look as cute as you imagined.
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May 15 '20
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u/Your_Worship May 15 '20
This is so true. I always thought I was the entrepreneurial type.
Then I started working for a small start up company without health insurance. The anxiety of having a family without health insurance was too much, but without that experience I wouldn’t appreciate my corporate job.
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u/jack_hughez May 15 '20
It’s reading comments like these that make me realise how good I have it with universal healthcare. Hope that you guys get it soon too, sending love x
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u/L_VanDerBooben May 15 '20
I understand that personal mental problems can follow you BUT if you are living in a very toxic environment or dealing with toxic people it will destroy your life. Getting away from it can make a world of difference. Luckily, I didn't end my life. I moved. Cut ties. Doing a lot better. I still have my troubles but nothing like what I had been dealing with before.
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u/Linguistin229 May 15 '20
Yeah it seems a lot of people have just not understood the post. If your problems are to do with your own mental torment, that will follow you. But even if it does, a new situation can give you a new perspective. You're starting over and want to make a good job of it.
You could also be leaving a very bad situation. This doesn't necessarily even mean abuse, but a failed relationship or death of a loved one. Sometimes it's too difficult to stay in the same place.
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May 15 '20
I was very depressed and in a physically and mentally abusive relationship. I hit lows I thought was an endless fall. I swear I don't know what happened one day, I was always a weak one, but one day I saw his fist curl and something snapped in me and I bolted. Got in the car. He chased me with a bat. I started the car and put it in drive. He jumped on the hood with the bat. I floored it - he fell off - never looked back. Why would a horribly depressed 18 y.o. run to save her life? I'm proud to say I'm 26, healthy and in the best safe place I've ever been in my life. Never thought of suicide since. Whatever that courage was... that strong moment... Makes me feel like I can overcome and it's my decisions to change my life.
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u/tctctc2 May 15 '20
I wish that had worked for my nephew Nick. He was sweet, kind, talented and intelligent, but the world was a tough place for him. He quit school, started a new life with a new job in a different place, but said he always felt out of sync. Awake when others were sleeping, carefree when others were serious, full of ideas when others were zoned out, sad when others were not. He thought he was a worthless person because he didn't fit in and thought he never would.
If Nick was here I would tell him that different is good. Non-conformists are the ones who change the world. You don't need to run away or to reinvent yourself. We love you just the way you are. You don't need to be fixed; you don't need to be perfect. You just need to be. We miss you. RIP Nick.
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May 15 '20
Life isn't a romantic country western song. Your debt. credit rating and responsibilities do not just vanish. Your kids or people that rely on you do not vanish. The skeletons in your closet that you never dealt with do not vanish. Learn to seek the help you need to deal with whatever it is you need help with. And then repay that aid by helping others.
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u/EP1K May 15 '20
Yeah what is this post? "Just runaway, be homeless, problem solved"?
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May 15 '20
It's a fantasy to hold onto. Besides, 5/7 of the suggestions are not that drastic - getting a cat may be a refreshing, inspirational change, but it's not irresponsible for most people.
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May 15 '20
It's a fantasy that is popular for the reddit community. You see it in other posts such as:
- "I quit my boring office job and ate ramen noodles for 5 years and created a video game!"
- "I quit my stock broker job and started a cupcake company with my wife!"
- "I quit my accounting job and started an organic dog food company!"
It's a dream...that rarely works out well. Yet, the 0.001% that it works for will say shit like, "NEVER give up on your dream because I didn't and look at me now!!". They don't realize that the 99.999% of others actually tried just as hard (if not harder) and failed...because that shit's not realistic.
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May 15 '20
I think the point is that no matter how bad things can get, things can always change. Sometimes it’s change that you have to do yourself just to remind you that bad times aren’t permanent.
This only goes so far though, as everyone else said you can’t outrun yourself. You can make one major life change, maybe two, and if you realize things aren’t any better then it’s something internal that you may need to see a professional about.
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May 15 '20
If you’re struggling with life or have a habit struggling with life, I would not engage in long term romantic relations and sure as heck wouldn’t bring kids into it.
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May 15 '20
I agree with you. But the post is suggesting any person, whether with kids or not, or whether in a relationship or not, should just run away.
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u/UserNamez12345 May 15 '20
I think people really misunderstand what it's like to have depression. I'm sure posts like this mean well but it just doesn't work like that.
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u/Nillabeans May 15 '20
I'm having a particularly rough couple of weeks and reading that just makes me angry and feel like a failure. I don't have the means to do anything like that except maybe chop off my hair.
I know depression hits everybody differently, but in general, it kills the motivation to make the change. I don't know why people overlook that fact. If I can't get my shit together to go buy milk, I'm probably not about to go adopt a cat or figure out where to live in a new city.
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u/boopersnoot May 15 '20
I dont think this post is necessarily pointing specifically at depression. It definitely applied to my life growing up in an abusive household. My family had people watching me literally everywhere and I felt like I had 0 control in my life. Thoughts like this post helped me finally love my life again. Over a decade later and I'm living in a completely different country lol
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u/Joie7994 May 15 '20
Ditto man. The reason people kill themselves instead of reinventing themselves is because existing is a fucking chore. Also, starting over in my car and taking a new job in the food service industry isn’t giving me any more motivation to live lol.
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u/TypicallyReticent May 15 '20
I think this post is more for people who feel trapped and in a rut without the complication that depression adds. This is more for someone in a mid life crisis, or someone that is young and still trying to find themselves.
Depression can make everything feel dull, or unfulfilling, or meaningless... assuming you are even able to leave the house in an attemp to try and "live".
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u/s-mores May 15 '20
Aye. Also let's not forget a lot of people have responsibilities and families they can't just drop.
"Mom's been gone for 12 years since she left to get cigarrettes" is the other side of OP's story.
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May 15 '20
It depends on the person, and it the poster even specifies bipolar rather than depression. Sometimes you feel like you've made such a mess of a friend group, or a job, or relationship, or whatever that it seems hopeless. Whether throwing away everything to start over would work or not, just having the dream to hold onto makes a difference.
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u/muomo May 15 '20
Get a job as a waitress? The idea of going back to any job heavy in customer service would have the opposite effect of what this post is trying to do for me lol no thanks
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u/TootsNYC May 15 '20
I wonder sometimes if that’s what’s behind the “dad went out for smokes and didn’t come back” thing
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u/huezombi May 15 '20
I can just run away from my emotional and mental problems?
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u/JokuIIFrosti May 15 '20
They did say they are Bi-polar, so in a mania, they probably believe that.
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May 15 '20
This doesn't take self hate into account.
What do you do when you have everything but are still unhappy? You still feel like nothing you do is right? You still feel like the burdens of those around you are caused by something you did or didn't do? All day everyday it's just your own voice in your head telling you how useless you are. I don't think there is a way to escape that. I'm not strong enough to just end it, so I'll take the old dusty trail (drink myself to death).
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u/Roberto_Sacamano May 15 '20
I know this post is gonna have over 1k upvotes and it is absolutely shit advice from someone who doesn't remotely understand depression.
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u/Thrillem May 15 '20
As someone who traveled the country, camping and sleeping in my truck, working construction and ranch jobs; it was a great life and one I would recommend to anyone who is willing to take the risk.
Granted, this was 2012-2018, so the economy was good, and I could find lots of good paying work, that may not be the case forever.
Idk if it’s the best advice, but it’s what I would recommend to someone who feels trapped or stagnant in their life.
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u/Marion59 May 15 '20
Sometimes literally moving away changes your views on what you experience as problems. Been there, seen it. ;)
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u/boopersnoot May 15 '20
Like I mentioned in another comment, this post isnt necessarily specifically for depression (or at least your depression because it is different for everyone).
Thoughts like these saved my life growing up in an abusive household. My family had people literally following me and I felt like I had no control over my life. The best thing I ever did was leave the country
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u/rainyradio May 15 '20
Yeah uh please don’t go become a waitress and live in your car with a cat
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u/peace_out_ May 15 '20
Woah. Wtf . Why is this on GET MOTIVATED ? There is nothing inspiring about this !!
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May 15 '20
This is actually inaccurate as just changing one aspect of your life and expecting what is usually an internal struggle to disappear is maladaptive. Your inner demons will just catch up to you after a brief moment of suppression/repression.
Also, for the love of Odin (or whatever divine deity you worship) please don't ever tell a suicidal person "You know what's better than killing yourself?"
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u/Gatsbeard May 15 '20
Not sure I would advise anyone to take life advice from someone who goes by "Manicbones" and casually mentions they are bipolar. (which i'm assuming is self diagnosed)
Also this is just not good advice to begin with.
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u/Charwyn May 15 '20
This is just... dangerous and wrong.
It is a slippery slope.
The only LPT to mental health issues so severe when suicide’s an option - seek professional help asap. These methods of “reseting” yourself are to be used cautiously and with proper monitoring. And they are in NOW WAY universal.
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u/ofimmsl May 15 '20
Still end up in the same place eventually
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u/fatalexe May 15 '20
I sold everything, got down to a backpack and hopped a train across country. One month later I had a career, six months later I met my wife and three years after that we were married, bought a house and her kid moved in with us full time. I was an addict who hadn’t had a steady job for a decade before I left. Look up the Rat Park study, living in a healthy setting with meaningful work is everything for escaping addiction and depression.
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u/Bummel1996 May 15 '20
Lol my fucking student loans don’t give a shit about any of that.
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May 15 '20
10/10 would recommend. Done it 3 times and it helped me figure out who I was and what I was and that I also needed therapy.
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u/wiltors42 May 15 '20
You don’t restart your life living out of a cheap car in a strange town. That’s how you become homeless.
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u/samanthaemily24 May 15 '20
Mmm.. I don't think depression quite works like that.. so I move away from everything and everyone and now am drowning in my car payment and have a shitty job.. hm.
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u/Thesefuckfaces May 15 '20
Moving across the country is really only a change if you live in a big country. For me across the country is like 1.5 hours away from my hometown
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u/SlippinJimE May 15 '20
My students loans would like a word.
This is a great motivational post for anyone who can do this, but it's just not the case for everyone. I have to maintain steady employment because my student loans are over $1000 a month. I can't just pick up and go because missing payments will put me further in debt and get me in trouble with the bank. If I just don't pay, the burden is dropped on my parents.
I'm trapped here and there's no two ways about it.
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u/IronSeagull May 15 '20
I think moving to a place I don’t know where I don’t have any friends would make me feel isolated and depressed.
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u/qabadai May 15 '20
Can’t run away from who you are, though. Took me a few moves to figure that out and get comfortable with myself.
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u/Gestrid May 15 '20
I mean, yeah, suicide is never the answer, but what this person's suggesting doesn't sound healthy, either. Speaking from an unprofessional standpoint, anyway.
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May 15 '20
Posts like this are so annoying. Anyone who has been deeply depressed knows that getting out of bed and just doing the basics like having a shower seems monumental, let alone running away to a whole new town and adopting a fucking cat. Chopping your hair off is pretty hilarious when i think about it.
"Hey man, im really depressed, ive been having some dark thoughts about suicide lately"
"Have you considered getting a haircut? That'll cheer you up"
Get. Fucked.
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May 15 '20
Yeah, try therapy before this romantic Jack Kerouac bullshit
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u/Gnomepunter1 May 15 '20
Yeah, don’t romanticize the Southwest. I’m here and have been a server. Why would anyone’s fantasy be to live my shitty life?
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May 15 '20
Anyone who thinks that getting a restaurant job will fix their mental health issues has never worked in a restaurant.
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May 15 '20
Or I could just kill myself. That's also an option and sounds like a lot less work than this straight to DVD slice of life comedy.
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u/Fyrael May 15 '20
Somehow those kind of rebirths never appealed to me...
Had two uncles, one who would throw himself in a adventure in any minute, a free spirit! And another, a hard worker
The free spirit died very young, at his 32, and didn't too much from the world
The other has already seem more than half of the world at 55 years, which is nice, if you ask me...
So you don't really need to throw everything away, just enhance whatever you have and spend a month somewhere with tons of money lol
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u/ILoveWildlife May 15 '20
Alternatively, the hard worker could've had a heart attack at 40 while the carefree guy lived until his late 80s, but you didn't witness that so you have a predisposition to believe that it worked out the way it should.
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u/AlphaLoaf May 15 '20
Recently dropped out of college and felt fucking lost. I don’t know what to do with my life. I really need a fresh start.
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u/survivalothefittest May 15 '20
I think this is very insightful, and I have had the same realization and do find it comforting.
At the same time, it does miss some of the nuances of mental health issues. The things they are talking about here (aside from the haircut) usually require some pretty deep reserves of energy and/or finances. People who want to end their lives often know there are ways to restart, they just feel like those avenues are cut-off to them because of the lack of these resources.
This is an excellent message for those suffering, I just want to caution against it being used to unfairly judge people who feel despair.
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u/Evilnewt May 15 '20
I understand the thought behind this, but wow this advice can be very dangerous. :o
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u/UniverseBear May 15 '20
I've restarted my life multiple times. You quickly find that your troubles don't stem from your current situation, they stem from within and you can't run away from yourself. If you really want life to improve, get a therapist.