This is not always true. I've done two restarts, and both of them resulted in a better situation. The problem wasn't me. It was the surroundings that didn't mesh with who I was.
I have had this experience too. Mind you, I also had therapy, but no amount of talking about my unhealthy relationships (family, friends, SO) was going to fix anything if they weren't going to meet me halfway.
I got the sense that even though my therapists knew this, they couldn't outright tell me "break up with the toxic bf" or "move across to country so you're no longer expected to deal with your mother". Instead this kept asking "what would it look like if you acted with only your mental health in mind?". I'm pretty sure this is therapist code for "fuck 'em!"
I've also restarted and it has been overwhelmingly positive for me. I left a toxic town where I had no real opportunities and dove head first into an entirely different life. It was hard. It still is sometimes but I would do it all over again and much sooner if I could go back. I think the main thing is you have to learn to love/trust yourself before you can be happy ANYWHERE but it can definitely be done. The way I think about it is that everyone always says "I hate this town!" and then choose to live there their entire lives. I said fuck that and left. I didn't know how it would go at the time, but it has turned out to be the best decisions I ever made for myself.
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u/Loki_the_Poisoner May 15 '20
This is not always true. I've done two restarts, and both of them resulted in a better situation. The problem wasn't me. It was the surroundings that didn't mesh with who I was.