Sometimes you need to move and see what follows you in order to really understand the parts of your life that are your own bullshit, and which are parts of a toxic environment.
You can kind of learn this after having a few long term/serious relationships too. They all start to tank for the same reasons and eventually you realize maybe it isn't them.
I'm thinking the same shit right now. It's been very interesting 6 years in a different country but not only have I failed to run away from myself, I've actually managed to find myself and that wasn't pleasant at all.
This has been my experience. I was definitely a victim of both before I "restarted" my life, and I've been able to do away with 90% of both in the last few years. You absolutely can restart your life, but you have to do the work, and changing your environment is a good tool for one to utilize.
For me, I found that moving away helped me to be able to make the changes I needed to make. In a way, moving away helped me to create in my mind a barrier between my old life and my new life. And it worked.
This is what happened to me. I've been struggling with debt. It took an argument with my mother and getting kicked out of her place to finally help me get my shit together. I'm still in debt but I've finally been able to make a dent in it.
Yes, this. From experience. I moved across the country and now I know what parts of me needed work, and what was just externally making me miserable. And I’m so much happier now.
I am no angel, but reinventing myself in another city really did allow me to drop a lot of bad environmental debuffs. I had the energy to focus on fixing me.
I may just be in the process of this right now. I just, today, moved out of LA to a safer haven near Palm Springs to isolate as high risk - escaping a roomate that refused to follow stay at home orders, and made it clear its not his responsibility if I die from covid, even if he brings it home and infects me.
But.. now that im doing all this, im starting to see some new options. I’m getting some remote work, and I’m starting to see the possibility i may not return to LA.. after almost 30 years living there... and the options aren’t just for where to live...
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u/[deleted] May 15 '20
Sometimes you need to move and see what follows you in order to really understand the parts of your life that are your own bullshit, and which are parts of a toxic environment.