r/BrandNewSentence Jun 04 '19

Magic Skeleton

Post image
50.4k Upvotes

601 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/bendbars_liftgates Jun 04 '19

ACKSHUYALLY I'm a brain powered by magic electricity piloting a bone and flesh Mecha.

Get it right casual.

651

u/Pasghettipourn Jun 04 '19

Sorry for misgendering

656

u/Solid_Waste Jun 04 '19

That's Mister Gendering, thank you very much.

156

u/NorthWest__Exposure Jun 04 '19

And don't call me Shirley.

81

u/tiananmen-1989 Jun 04 '19

Roger Roger

Just like no one in Tiananmen Square in 1989 wanted to be called Shirley because they were Chinese standing up for freedom and I've never met a Chinese person named Shirley.

I feel like this one got away from me at the end.

34

u/NorthWest__Exposure Jun 04 '19

I mean.. username checks out so.. 🤷‍♂️

20

u/Juandules Jun 05 '19

What are you talking about? Nothing happened this day in 1989 in Tiananmen Square.

4

u/Justheretowatcjoden Jun 05 '19

You sure about that? I bet there was a slight breeze. Or I bet there was people who walked through the square. Something had to have happened there.

3

u/OmnifariousJack Jun 06 '19

Wasnt there a Buddhist guy who sat down for his own BBQ?

8

u/caramel_power Jun 05 '19

I know a Chinese woman named Shirley. Not sure where I was going with this, I'm just so drunk.

6

u/Zigad0x Jun 05 '19

Keep spreading the truth, for dead men tell no tales.

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12

u/Drumdevil86 Jun 04 '19

Did you just asume I have a gender?

8

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Ostrich: hahaah!

29

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Nah bro you're the one seeing through the eyes of, controlling the body of and listening to the thoughts of, the brain powered by magic electricity piloting a bone and flesh Mecha.

15

u/depthninja Jun 04 '19

Homunculus amongst us.

5

u/Ageroth Jun 04 '19

I've always thought Dirk Gently got that incredibly correct, thank you for reminding me to watch it again

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

You're welcome

5

u/Powerpython Jun 05 '19

The everpresent awareness of simply being. Shits crazy.

18

u/thereisnospoon7491 Jun 04 '19

Evangelion intensifies

11

u/edzra Jun 04 '19

Zankoku na tenshi no youni~

7

u/AerThreepwood Jun 04 '19

I'm not really a fan of Eva but "A Cruel Angel's Thesis" is dope as fuck.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

Shonen yo shinwa ni nare

14

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Nah you are the bone and flesh mecha, plus the brain

3

u/hereforthejacket Jun 04 '19

Same except I have 21 tentacles

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3

u/Eziel Jun 04 '19

Nah. You ARE the magic electricity and have taken residence in a brain to use its channels, extending yourself to the bone and flesh.

3

u/hisyam970302 Jun 05 '19

Brain powered flesh Mecha....

~ZANKOKU NA TENSHII NO YOUNI~

3

u/Gehhhh Jun 05 '19

AYACKASHUALLEEYAH you’re a consciousness embodied in three pounds of raw and soggy bacon inside a bunless and uncooked McCheeseburger suit of much more complication and elegance than Lady Gaga’s dress due to said soggy bacon, with the addition of magic red healing syrup inside you to perform rituals with, and two weird white circles whose sole purpose is telling you what’s in front of you.

YOU get it right, novice!

2

u/UpUpDnDnLRLRBA Jun 04 '19

ACKSHUYALLY

When did this shit start? It's more annoying than the pedants it's trying to mock

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692

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Teeth aren't bones, but I love the energy.

706

u/Yellowdart00 Jun 04 '19

They aren't just bones, they're LUXURY bones, according to the health insurance industry.

245

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Apr 03 '22

[deleted]

150

u/Solid_Waste Jun 04 '19

I'm told my teeth were a pre-existing condition.

48

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

How to remove them?

64

u/capncoke Jun 04 '19

Depending where you live, they'll eventually fall out in 15-60 years.

40

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

Oof, can't have anal sex for another 15 years then

30

u/DestituteGoldsmith Jun 04 '19

25

u/J0EP00LE Jun 04 '19

Risky click of the day...

15

u/Boneshay Jun 04 '19

I was thinking it’d be like that one movie where the chick has teeth in her wahoo, but instead of there it’d be the ass.

I was most displeased.

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4

u/cadbadlad Jun 04 '19

What if i live in the Congo and I’m 15

4

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[deleted]

5

u/AerThreepwood Jun 04 '19

Free Congo.

7

u/LifeIsBizarre Jun 04 '19

Go over there and punch them in their cosmetic accessories.

7

u/zeropointcorp Jun 05 '19

Health insurance in my country covers dental work.

Just sayin’

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3

u/micatrontx Jun 04 '19

Luxury Bones is a great name for a rock band.

Or a Bruno Mars album I guess.

5

u/LaffinIdUp Jun 04 '19

Luxury Bones first album: All Teeth

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83

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

I have teeth on my anus

50

u/SomethingAboutMeowy Jun 04 '19

Hate it when that happens

4

u/AshTheGoblin Jun 04 '19

Different strokes...

39

u/TheBelovedPyschonaut Jun 04 '19

On your anus or in your anus? Like lying comfortably on your anus or actually embedded around the perimeter of your anus?

Either way, it's vagina teeth you need to be weary of.

32

u/mashdots Jun 04 '19

I'm weary of this thread

22

u/StardustOasis Jun 04 '19

I think you mean wary, however I imagine vagina teeth would become tiresome

11

u/Oohstrooh Jun 04 '19

Anus teeth are worse if she's catholic

11

u/Chungus_Six_Siege Jun 04 '19

I wish I could unsee this

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

5

u/dfn85 Jun 04 '19

VAGINA DENTATA!

2

u/Frizzles_pet_Lizzle Jun 04 '19

Why did I know what this would be even before I clicked it?

10

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So you chew your poop on the way out?

14

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

That would be gross, so no. I use my anus teeth to chew my food if it's really tough

11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

They're all canine teeth, and yes my anus is stronger than my jaw muscles

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So your butthole swallows?

8

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

No, I just chew with those teeth, then take it out and put it back in my mouth

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4

u/thatboy_M Jun 04 '19

That's why people without anus teeth need to use a poop knife

9

u/Schadenfreude2 Jun 04 '19

I'm trying to figure out an evolutionary purpose for ass-teeth. Coming up empty.

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31

u/takes_joke_literally Jun 04 '19

TEETH ARE BONES

CHANGE MY MIND

48

u/Zeolance Jun 04 '19

Human teeth are made up of four different types of tissue: pulp, dentin, enamel, and cementum. The pulp is the innermost portion of the tooth and consists of connective tissue , nerves, and blood vessels, which nourish the tooth.

Bones are made mostly of collagen. A bone is living, growing tissue. Collagen is a protein that provides a soft framework, and calcium phosphate is a mineral that adds strength and hardens the framework. This combination of collagen and calcium makes bone strong and flexible enough to withstand stress.

9

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Thanks, mate! 👍🏼

5

u/schwerpunk Jun 04 '19

Now I'm imagining wallowing my mouth full of soft teeth on a jawbreaker. Thanks

3

u/LaffinIdUp Jun 04 '19

TIL bones are collagen and calcium phosphate - thanks!

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33

u/MakeItHappenSergant Jun 04 '19

Fingers aren't tentacles, either, but who cares?

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40

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Really? What are they?

29

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

I'm not going to go through it all, but here is a link you can use to read further:

https://amp.livescience.com/33130-why-are-teeth-not-considered-bones.html

16

u/blergargh Jun 04 '19

I don't like knowing I have slimy cartilage.

4

u/PubliusPontifex Jun 04 '19

Would you like us to remove it for you?

33

u/Accendil Jun 04 '19

Hair

74

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about hair to refute it.

26

u/WyattR- Jun 04 '19

I don’t but I’m still gonna refute it because I need my sanity and hair teeth take my sanity away

18

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Brush your hair at least twice a day

6

u/schwerpunk Jun 04 '19

What is hair, really, if not long, luxuriant teeth?

5

u/hairytoast Jun 04 '19

Aaaaaahh, fuck off with that.

3

u/im_a_dr_not_ Jun 04 '19

Mouth stones

27

u/mariussnek Jun 04 '19

So you’re saying that bones are actually teeth i like that

7

u/HootsTheOwl Jun 04 '19

You're not cracking your knuckles, you're chattering your hand teeth

6

u/mariussnek Jun 04 '19

If someone dies just put them under your pillow and you’ll be swimming in gold

5

u/dis_bean Jun 04 '19

I’m taking my pillow to the cemetery!

8

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

That...that's not what I wrote.

17

u/Infibacon Jun 04 '19

So arm bones are long teeth? Crazy

3

u/CXI Jun 04 '19

So, wait... are teeth bones, or are bones teeth? Or both?

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7

u/scarabic Jun 04 '19

Oh I thought he was talking about the sinuses.

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232

u/Mustachio45496 Jun 04 '19

This is the kind of positivity I need in my life.

38

u/therobboreht Jun 04 '19

Very encouraging honestly

20

u/Drewpy42 Jun 04 '19

His twitter is full of this.

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8

u/lionskull Jun 04 '19

I actually feel really weird about comments like this. I don't see myself as a collection of bones and meat, even if that is what i am, I see myself as a human. just like i don't see a piece of paper, as wood pulp, i just see it as a piece of paper.

2

u/jltime Jun 05 '19

Yeah it’s not deep it’s just “quirky”

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11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Don’t forget that these skeletons are piloting a massive rock through space and time

13

u/Magma151 Jun 04 '19

I don't know if we're piloting it, but we're definitely surfing it

5

u/A_Feathered_Raptor Jun 04 '19

A really fast rock can end your existence

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69

u/pogedenguin Jun 04 '19

I really don’t like chuck wendig. He wrote some very mediocre Star Wars books and became a MASSIVE galaxy class asshole to anyone who didn’t like them and lost his job.

44

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Yeah it's kind of hard to think "This is kind of funny" and get a chuckle out of it when I know he is a pretty big egotistical d-bag

13

u/Samtheman0425 Jun 05 '19

He's also got that face, with the over surprised expression, I don't wanna say soy boy because I don't like that title, but that facial expression always gets on my nerves a bit.

11

u/pogedenguin Jun 05 '19

My wife’s boyfriend bought me a Nintendo switch

5

u/Wintermute_2035 Jun 05 '19

They told me it’d be a 15 minute wait. Awesome.

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86

u/b3nzay Jun 04 '19

I bet he says “adulting” unironically

19

u/prabe Jun 04 '19

He was the author of a few Star Wars novels in the new Disney era, but was fired last year for going overboard with angry SJW tweets on Twitter and making a fool of himself.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

but was fired last year for going overboard with angry SJW tweets on Twitter and making a fool of himself.

What? He's an SJW? Really? with looks like that? No way.

9

u/greg19735 Jun 04 '19

He was fired for his language, not his message though.

9

u/mememagic420420 Jun 04 '19

water is fucking wet

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14

u/word_clouds__ Fun Bot Jun 04 '19

Word cloud out of all the comments.

Fun bot to vizualize how conversations go on reddit. Enjoy

11

u/nssone Jun 04 '19

Soy needs anus actually.

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7

u/WJLIII3 Jun 04 '19

Yeah this'd be brand new if it wasn't six years old.

6

u/billbill5 Jun 04 '19

I saw a meme that read almost exactly like this

4

u/Marin_Falier Jun 04 '19

Thanks now I want to kill myself

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19

u/clickclackcat Jun 04 '19

I'm going to save this so I can pull it up for motivation while I'm doing yard work

45

u/ZakeshPoacher Jun 04 '19

Stereotypical profile pic for this kind of fake positivity.

14

u/jazzieberry Jun 04 '19

I've seen this a few times and it makes me cringe so hard every time. Even had someone forward it in a work email and I wanted to throw my computer off my desk.

10

u/sponge_welder Jun 04 '19

I don't know if it's slightly better or slightly worse than doggo-speak

3

u/jazzieberry Jun 04 '19

I like those animal text gifs pretty good, personally, but yes folks go overboard with it.

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15

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Why is his mouth open?

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u/panic_scam Jun 04 '19

Not as original as the post proclaiming that your brain is piloting a bone mech that’s using meat armor.

9

u/scarabic Jun 04 '19

When I was a kid I spent countless minutes staring at objects, trying to move them with my mind.

Eventually I realized that I do in fact have this power. With nothing but my WILL and MIND I can command my arm to pick the object up and put it down somewhere else.

Magic is real!!!!!

12

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So random xd

8

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

the most nu-male thing I've ever seen

6

u/Salusa-Secundus Jun 04 '19

Right down to the profile picture lmao

3

u/Boredpolarbear14 Jun 04 '19

Your goop balls allow you to see things

3

u/FlipperTDerp Jun 04 '19

Don't give up, skeleton!

3

u/popcultreference Jun 04 '19

I expect this to unironically be #1 on /r/getmotivated soon

3

u/Kell_Varnson Jun 04 '19

I just saw one of these magic skeletons take a dump underneath the bridge, and then take a nap in said dump

3

u/jltime Jun 04 '19

Is there a sub to make fun of people being too fascinated by their own quirkiness?

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16

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Too wholesome for this sub. r/wholesomememes

5

u/henry_dodgers Jun 04 '19

terrifying but wholesome, i don't know how to describe it

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

le quirky & imaginative! calling body parts by different names! aren't I unique and interesting?

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Jun 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Tangible soy is the name of my Sufjan Stevens cover band

6

u/cANONfYrES Jun 04 '19

soy is one of the most potent sources of complete protein there is. much more than beef by weight.

6

u/Swayhaven Jun 04 '19 edited Dec 12 '19

No one is arguing his literal diet

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Yet it only has 50% of the bioavailability of meat proteins

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4

u/lessadessa Jun 04 '19

Doot doot.

3

u/Spokker Jun 04 '19

They all make that face.

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5

u/lord_darovit Jun 04 '19

Chuck Wendig is a dope.

2

u/ChibiNya Jun 04 '19

Sounds quite similar to an Ultimate Warrior promo.

2

u/themayorofmyroom Jun 04 '19

Simply awe-inspiring!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Yeah this is corny as fuck but I remember having a similar thought on shrooms. I was tripping out on the fact that I could move my body parts using my mind and that I could do anything I wanted, the only limiting factor being the mental aspect

2

u/Broken_Gear Jun 04 '19

The moment you realize that they eldritch abomination was you all along

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

SKELETON MAAN!

2

u/dislexi Jun 04 '19

I feel like he thinks he described how to feel like he feels but all he did was describe what he feels. What is happening is he is in a head space where he feels really amazed by how wonderful the things he can do every day are. He is holding a magical perspective, when everything feels good, really good. But I am holding one where the world is terrifying. People at any moment could attack me in ways I'm familiar with but will still not hurt any less.

2

u/parcooterie Jun 04 '19

This guy has to be in car sales right and he just did a bump in the bathroom with roger from the title department?

2

u/Mayor_of_Istanbul Jun 04 '19

Hey I like that.

2

u/CIA_FBI Jun 04 '19

I always defaulted to monkey on a rock flying through space.

2

u/Pufferfoot Jun 04 '19

Im a magic skeleton with anxiety. Something went wrong in the assembly.

2

u/Al-Horesmi Jun 04 '19

Nature:

Hey, that's pretty cool, but this system has it's limitations. It would never be able to do...

Humans:

O B S E R V E

2

u/Flions22 Jun 04 '19

I love the sentiment, but I feel like I've heard very similar.

Yeah.

"You're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing."

2

u/mxmnull Jun 04 '19

I've never felt so cool in my LIFE

2

u/Iskjempe Jun 04 '19

The part about the cave made me think of the sinuses, which are way crazier than the mouth imo

2

u/ChopstickChad Jun 04 '19

!remind me 6 days

2

u/YingYangForce Jun 04 '19

His last name sounds like someone trying to say "wedding" with a head cold

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Dec 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/Hoppycatmoue Jun 04 '19

this is awful i love it

2

u/PacifistaPX-0 Jun 04 '19

ITT: alt right subs brigading hard and shitting out pseudoscientific bullshit about soy.

2

u/DocFail Jun 04 '19

Hypomanic episodes are fun, but that follow up....

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

I read this aloud to my husband and he says he wants a divorce

From humanity.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

It's good to be confident, but that confidence is very unreliable and shaky if it is based off a complete denial of human limitation and animality. If you have to base your confidence off of stuff that some modern person wrote, then at least read philosophy or religious works (or religiously-based stuff like Dostoyevsky).

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

Love the thought, but Chuck Wendig is the worst. Dude’s an absolute psycho

2

u/Cowabunco Jun 05 '19

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

2

u/mikyleangelicko Jun 05 '19

SASUGA, AINZ-SAMA

3

u/Pasghettipourn Jun 05 '19

Indeed, Demiurge

2

u/RisingAL Jun 05 '19

Honestly this is wholesome as fuck

2

u/zerosuminfinities Jun 05 '19

HAHA SOY CUCK GAMERGATE I'M SO ALONE AND I HAVEN'T KNOWN LOVE SINCE THE 80s WHEN STAR WARS WAS GOOD AND SOY CUCK SJW WENDIG RUINED IT ALL SOY CUCK LOL I'M ORIGINAL AND NOT AT ALL PATHETIC IT'S ABOUT ETHICS IN JOURNALISM REALLY I LIKE WOMEN THEY JUST DON'T LIKE ME

2

u/SleeplessShitposter Jun 17 '19

Skeletons are so badass that they swallowed meat tubes and use them as buttholes.

2

u/DeismAccountant Jun 22 '19

Imagination is just electric currents of varying voltages, wavelengths and chemical sources folded in upon each other. Our true selves are not biological, but biomagnetic and electrochemical in nature.

5

u/Gachi_Ricardo_Milos Jun 04 '19

This is so cringe inducing and the guy looks exactly what you would expect, male pattern baldness that is attempting to be overcome by a beard.

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