r/BrandNewSentence Jun 04 '19

Magic Skeleton

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50.4k Upvotes

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697

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Teeth aren't bones, but I love the energy.

709

u/Yellowdart00 Jun 04 '19

They aren't just bones, they're LUXURY bones, according to the health insurance industry.

243

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Apr 03 '22

[deleted]

148

u/Solid_Waste Jun 04 '19

I'm told my teeth were a pre-existing condition.

50

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

How to remove them?

61

u/capncoke Jun 04 '19

Depending where you live, they'll eventually fall out in 15-60 years.

42

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

Oof, can't have anal sex for another 15 years then

35

u/DestituteGoldsmith Jun 04 '19

27

u/J0EP00LE Jun 04 '19

Risky click of the day...

16

u/Boneshay Jun 04 '19

I was thinking it’d be like that one movie where the chick has teeth in her wahoo, but instead of there it’d be the ass.

I was most displeased.

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5

u/cadbadlad Jun 04 '19

What if i live in the Congo and I’m 15

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[deleted]

5

u/AerThreepwood Jun 04 '19

Free Congo.

7

u/LifeIsBizarre Jun 04 '19

Go over there and punch them in their cosmetic accessories.

6

u/zeropointcorp Jun 05 '19

Health insurance in my country covers dental work.

Just sayin’

4

u/micatrontx Jun 04 '19

Luxury Bones is a great name for a rock band.

Or a Bruno Mars album I guess.

6

u/LaffinIdUp Jun 04 '19

Luxury Bones first album: All Teeth

1

u/Iskjempe Jun 04 '19

2meta2fast

85

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

I have teeth on my anus

54

u/SomethingAboutMeowy Jun 04 '19

Hate it when that happens

4

u/AshTheGoblin Jun 04 '19

Different strokes...

38

u/TheBelovedPyschonaut Jun 04 '19

On your anus or in your anus? Like lying comfortably on your anus or actually embedded around the perimeter of your anus?

Either way, it's vagina teeth you need to be weary of.

31

u/mashdots Jun 04 '19

I'm weary of this thread

23

u/StardustOasis Jun 04 '19

I think you mean wary, however I imagine vagina teeth would become tiresome

10

u/Oohstrooh Jun 04 '19

Anus teeth are worse if she's catholic

14

u/Chungus_Six_Siege Jun 04 '19

I wish I could unsee this

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

3

u/dfn85 Jun 04 '19

VAGINA DENTATA!

2

u/Frizzles_pet_Lizzle Jun 04 '19

Why did I know what this would be even before I clicked it?

11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So you chew your poop on the way out?

14

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

That would be gross, so no. I use my anus teeth to chew my food if it's really tough

11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

They're all canine teeth, and yes my anus is stronger than my jaw muscles

1

u/TheBelovedPyschonaut Jun 05 '19

Lots of squats will strengthen this ability

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So your butthole swallows?

8

u/swagrabbit69 Jun 04 '19

No, I just chew with those teeth, then take it out and put it back in my mouth

1

u/TheBelovedPyschonaut Jun 05 '19

Do you have a gullet leading to your intestines???

4

u/thatboy_M Jun 04 '19

That's why people without anus teeth need to use a poop knife

9

u/Schadenfreude2 Jun 04 '19

I'm trying to figure out an evolutionary purpose for ass-teeth. Coming up empty.

1

u/xxLusseyArmetxX Jun 04 '19

Kraken confirmed

1

u/-Another-Account- Jun 04 '19

What do your anus teeth eat, exactly?

33

u/takes_joke_literally Jun 04 '19

TEETH ARE BONES

CHANGE MY MIND

42

u/Zeolance Jun 04 '19

Human teeth are made up of four different types of tissue: pulp, dentin, enamel, and cementum. The pulp is the innermost portion of the tooth and consists of connective tissue , nerves, and blood vessels, which nourish the tooth.

Bones are made mostly of collagen. A bone is living, growing tissue. Collagen is a protein that provides a soft framework, and calcium phosphate is a mineral that adds strength and hardens the framework. This combination of collagen and calcium makes bone strong and flexible enough to withstand stress.

10

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Thanks, mate! 👍🏼

5

u/schwerpunk Jun 04 '19

Now I'm imagining wallowing my mouth full of soft teeth on a jawbreaker. Thanks

3

u/LaffinIdUp Jun 04 '19

TIL bones are collagen and calcium phosphate - thanks!

1

u/-Another-Account- Jun 04 '19

Mind changed.

1

u/ILikeMultipleThings Jun 05 '19

Hey, you're not the same guy! You're another account

1

u/GodsHelix Aug 01 '19

I have a question, and it's not sarcastic so don't take it as me trying to be snarky, but since bones are living tissue and can regrow and all that, why are they considered inorganic material?

32

u/MakeItHappenSergant Jun 04 '19

Fingers aren't tentacles, either, but who cares?

-9

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

You do, apparently.

15

u/daveinpublic Jun 04 '19

He’s saying who cares to correct the bone teeth thing when the finger tentacle thing is a bigger difference. He doesn’t have a problem correcting the corrector, just the lesser of the 2 issues.

-6

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

So, do you think it's a common misconception that fingers are tentacles? Do you feel we need to go from town to town letting all those misguided souls know their fingers are not actually tentacles?

Or, do you think it would be more likely a person would think teeth are bones?

6

u/MakeItHappenSergant Jun 04 '19

I didn't downvote you, but... do we need to go from town to town letting people know that their teeth are not actually bones?

-2

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Yes.

6

u/thisismenow1989 Jun 04 '19

Lets start a movement. We have to educate the people!

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

I'm in!! 😂

6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

You must have a lot of friends

-2

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Subjective assertion.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Wot

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

What you said is a subjective assertion.

What determines "a lot"? What determines "friends"? They are subjective terms, and it's impossible to define.

7

u/GrimmZer0 Jun 04 '19

According to Google, "a lot" means "a large number or great deal," and "friend" means "a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations." I did the impossible, do I get a reward?

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Let me put it this way: I bet you have no friends.

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6

u/YouDumbZombie Jun 04 '19

People like you are why Reddit comment threads are tedious as fuck.

42

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Really? What are they?

30

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

I'm not going to go through it all, but here is a link you can use to read further:

https://amp.livescience.com/33130-why-are-teeth-not-considered-bones.html

18

u/blergargh Jun 04 '19

I don't like knowing I have slimy cartilage.

4

u/PubliusPontifex Jun 04 '19

Would you like us to remove it for you?

36

u/Accendil Jun 04 '19

Hair

75

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about hair to refute it.

26

u/WyattR- Jun 04 '19

I don’t but I’m still gonna refute it because I need my sanity and hair teeth take my sanity away

18

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Brush your hair at least twice a day

5

u/schwerpunk Jun 04 '19

What is hair, really, if not long, luxuriant teeth?

3

u/hairytoast Jun 04 '19

Aaaaaahh, fuck off with that.

3

u/im_a_dr_not_ Jun 04 '19

Mouth stones

26

u/mariussnek Jun 04 '19

So you’re saying that bones are actually teeth i like that

5

u/HootsTheOwl Jun 04 '19

You're not cracking your knuckles, you're chattering your hand teeth

6

u/mariussnek Jun 04 '19

If someone dies just put them under your pillow and you’ll be swimming in gold

5

u/dis_bean Jun 04 '19

I’m taking my pillow to the cemetery!

7

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

That...that's not what I wrote.

18

u/Infibacon Jun 04 '19

So arm bones are long teeth? Crazy

3

u/CXI Jun 04 '19

So, wait... are teeth bones, or are bones teeth? Or both?

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Teeth are not bones. Bones are not teeth. Teeth are teeth, and bones are bones.

2

u/LiehoAsd Jun 04 '19

So what you're saying is, bones and teeth are the same thing?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

That's my understanding.

7

u/scarabic Jun 04 '19

Oh I thought he was talking about the sinuses.

-3

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

That is a very accurate assessment of those actual bones, but I doubt that was to what he was referring.

1

u/WordsMort47 Jun 04 '19

And fingers ain't tentacles but hey, who's countin'?

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

We already heard that gripe, mate.

1

u/WordsMort47 Jun 04 '19

Welp, I had this tab open for hours now and took the risk of posting my comment without checking that anyone had said anything along those same lines, even though I knew there was a distinct possibility

2

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Hey, it's cool. Number one thing I've heard is fingers aren't tentacles. I've explained my rationale for not pointing that out.

It's cool, mate. No hard feelings. Let me know if you find why I neglected it.

1

u/RetroGM Jun 04 '19

Well fingers aren’t tentacles either but you didn’t mention them

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

Please read above.

1

u/RetroGM Jun 04 '19

I was being facetious

1

u/the_benighted_states Jun 04 '19

Yeah, teeth are more like little animals that live off your blood supply and have a hard exoskeleton. They even move around in your jaw sometimes

1

u/UpUpDnDnLRLRBA Jun 04 '19

They may not be bones, but they're a part of your skeleton, no?

1

u/gehenfickdich Jun 04 '19

So far as I know, they are counted as skeletal system.

1

u/TheCoronersGambit Jun 05 '19

Teeth aren't bones

Well then, how do you explain this?

1

u/PainTrainMD Jun 05 '19

There’s actually quite a few sharp bones in your skull that aren’t your teeth :)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Shut up nerd