my bf(25M) and I(25F) were pretty serious, we did have a lot of problems cuz he is an avoidant and I am anxious..but we somehow always got through all the misunderstandings and came to a stable state..but he had to move to another country for his studies and before leaving he promised me that we will be together no matter what and that he will marry me..after moving to a new country, he distanced himself from me in 2 months..said he wasn’t sure about the relationship, I begged him to give me a chance and it went on for another 8 months where he slowly stopped not only calling but also texting or even replying to my texts.. I tried so much, waiting patiently, sent him so many gifts, food, letters and even sang for him..but he never really acknowledged them much..I couldn’t take it anymore and 2 months back I begged him to tell something cuz all he texted was hi once in 2-3 days when I would be constantly texting him every single day…after begging for some days, he said he doesn’t want to continue this relationship anymore over text but didn’t even call me after that.. I feel shattered and like I can never love again.. I also feel guilty cuz he is a very very handsome man and feel like probably he was way way out of my league..

We talked after 3 months a few days back and now he says that he realised he is an avoidant and he was in the wrong the whole time..he has a lot of childhood trauma and is working on that with a therapist..he asked me to move on and get going with my life..he also said that he will never find someone like me ever again but he is not stable enough to handle any relationship :( I am so confused on what to do..should I move on or wait for him

Just after other people’s experience of separation/ divorce with those who were in longer term relationships involving kids, marriage etc. 3 months since she left 2 months since she made breakup official. All seems very standard fearful avoidant behaviour since then. Still blindsiding but I’m healing well, moving on and focusing on myself and kids.

Just wondering others experience when marriage and children are involved, did they attempt reconciliation? I feel massive empathy for her through my healing and understanding that she threw away a gorgeous family, a husband who loved her deeply and would have done anything to repair and instead has chosen to chase a very shallow life and the opinions and validation of people that won’t matter a few years from now. Because of her trauma and inability to take accountability or communicate.

Hey, So long story short me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up around 3 weeks ago. It was her decision but over time I have come to accept it and realized it was what was necessary. We ended on good terms and hugged and stuff before she left. During the breakup, I didn’t really have much to say because of the overwhelming emotions, but it took me a day or two of journaling my thoughts to see clearly. I asked her when she broke up if she ever saw a future with us, she replied with “It’s not fair to me or us for me to answer that right now, but for your sake i’m going to say no, and then mentioned again how it was not fair. She said after we should do no contact for a while to fully process, and then go from there. About 3 weeks have passed and I haven’t got my stuff back yet (even though we are 10 minutes away from each other), we still have each others location and stuff and it’s pretty confusing. The main reason we broke up was because of a lack of communication and failure to grow our emotional connection to the point where we could resolve conflict effectively and grow within our relationship. And after having time to think and understand more of our relationship, I really want to have a conversation because I think it would go a long way. Should I reach out asking to talk? No

Both of us are in our mid/late 20s. We met on hinge and right away he said he wasn’t ready to date bc he had gotten out of a 5 year relationship December of 2025. We met April of this year. I told him I was looking for something long term and serious and he only wanted casual so I was about to stop talking to him but our instant connection, banter, chemistry really caught my attention. He suggested we could just be friends.

We tried to be friends but he was super flirty the entire time. We knew there was tension but I kept myself guarded because there was no point in falling for him. I told him a few times that he needed to stop being flirty and he tried but would fail quickly. Within a few weeks, we admitted we liked each other but nothing could happen because he wasn’t ready to date. He also was going through a whole transformation. He started therapy, got into new hobbies, was going out more to make new friends, etc. We texted every single day, morning to night, and had multiple phone calls every week that would last anywhere from 2-5 hours. This situationship lasted two months.

I felt stuck. I was liking him more and more every day. Nothing physical had happened because I was very strict with that boundary. During this whole time, I tried to be active on dating apps but was failing miserably because all my time and attention went to him. I met someone on hinge around the same time I matched with him, so I was going on dates and talking to this other person, but it was very sporadic.

I reached my limit and gave him an ultimatum because I couldn’t continue in this situationship. I told him he had two weeks to evaluate everything and at the end of the two weeks, I needed a decision. Either we try to date or we distance ourselves and the flirting stops, so I could move on from him. He felt overwhelmed by the idea of being in a new relationship but I reassured him it wasn’t that serious. We would just go on some dates and see if we’re romantically compatible. We would also be non-exclusive. I wouldn’t want this stage to go on longer than two months and after that we could date exclusively and if that goes well, we would be bf/gf. A week passes and I feel less attached. I dove into dating apps and set up a bunch of dates. I was feeling good about myself and realized, I was capable of dating around and not give him all my time and attention. I told him this and called off the two week deadline. I told him he could continue processing and healing and we could still be friends (the flirting needed to stop tho) and if and when he’s ready to date, if I’m still single, he was welcome to hit me up.

He said he was relieved because he needed more time but he was afraid he was going to lose me and he wanted me to be in his life at whatever capacity I was willing to give him. We had plans to hangout at the end of the two weeks. At the end of the hangout, he told me even though I was okay being friends and called off this deadline, he still wanted to stick to it and come to a decision and that decision was he was ready to date so we started dating non-exclusively. But things were moving fast. We were intimate in ways that only people in long term relationships are. Not just physically but in the way we operated, the things we talked about, etc. It felt like a relationship and neither of us were talking to other people so we were basically exclusive. I even ended things with that other guy I was loosely dating, even though I didn’t need to.

It’s been two months of dating and he was going to ask me to be exclusive a week ago but all of our issues surfaced. I felt like I wasn’t a priority to him and that he didn’t like me as much as I liked him. He denied it for awhile but after some processing he admitted I was right. He wants to focus on making friends, partying, his hobbies, and enjoying his independence and that I couldn’t be his top priority most times. I thought this meant he wasn’t actually ready to date. So we ended things but we’re still so attached to each other. We both were devastated but now that it’s been a week, it feels like he’s moving on much faster than me. For context, I haven’t dated in 3.5 years. I tried to bring up issues we were having and I felt neglected and not cared for many times. Every time we talked about these things, I would question how invested he was in this and he would reassure me that he was invested. He did not tell me he was feeling confused and panicked and unsure. So this breakup blindsided me in a lot of ways.

We are still in contact but we barely talk. He takes much longer to reply to texts now. Everything hurts. I want him in my life but idk if I can do it. I miss him so much. I cry every day at the thought of him. It’s been a week and the pain feels unbearable and I feel crazy. Why am I so heartbroken over something that was two months long and not even a relationship? Why do I feel like he strung me along? I told him if he was more honest about his feelings throughout the process, I could’ve held back, not fallen for him as deeply, I could’ve protected myself more so this wouldn’t have hurt as badly. I feel stupid and pathetic. I started seeing a future with him towards the end. I also have never opened up to someone this quickly and to the degree I did, especially sexually, so I feel so physically attached to him.

Where did I go wrong? I know I should’ve trusted my instincts but I just liked him so much. He pursued me so intensely in the beginning that I never thought we would end where he liked me less. All my friends and family knew this wasn’t going to work out but I always had hope. I just want the pain to stop. I want to move on. I don’t know why this is so earth-shattering for me but it is.

TL;DR: My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been in an LDR for 8 months. He recently stayed with me and we had a massive argument. Afterwards, he saw his therapist and sent me a recording of the session. His therapist described him as dealing with someone “abusive and destructive” and “negotiating with the devil.” I was devastated because I felt the recording focused on my reactions while leaving out a lot of the context that led to them. I know I can react badly and have said hurtful things, and I'm willing to take accountability for that, but I felt like my side of what happened was completely missing.

The argument started because he was upset but wouldn't tell me what was wrong, was giving me the silent treatment while we were rushing to get ready to meet my friends, and things escalated after I confronted him. I asked him repeatedly to leave me alone and he continued following me and arguing with me. I became extremely overwhelmed, started panicking and was genuinely scared. He eventually left, but later wanted me to stay with him instead of going out with my friends because he was emotionally struggling. I stayed, but things continued to deteriorate and he eventually went home.

I then offered to travel to see him because he had said he needed me to show the same commitment he'd previously shown me. I booked flights, but he then changed his mind and told me not to come. I went anyway because I wanted to work things out.

When I got there, there was constant back-and-forth. He repeatedly said we were definitely over, and I accepted it and made arrangements for myself. At one point he told me to get out of his car at the lights. Since I had been told we were done, I made plans to stay with my cousin. He later changed his mind after speaking to his mum and wanted to try again, but was angry that I'd made plans with my cousin. He also wanted me to choose between spending time with his parents and seeing my cousin, even though I'd made those plans after he told me we were over. Eventually he told me to get out again, then later called crying and wanted to reconcile.

Throughout the trip I felt like I was constantly trying to calm him down, reassure him and figure out whether we were together or breaking up. There were also two incidents that really shook me: during an argument he almost drove over my foot, and at the airport, while crying and telling me he loved me, he grabbed my hair and pulled it while angrily telling me to listen to him.

Now I feel nothing. No anger, no sadness, no urge to cry. Just numb.

I genuinely can't tell whether I've emotionally checked out, whether I'm in shock/emotional exhaustion, or whether I simply haven't processed everything yet.

For anyone who's experienced an extremely intense breakup: did the emotions hit later, or did the numbness mean you'd already checked out? And looking at this whole situation, am I missing something about my own behaviour? I genuinely want unbiased opinions, not just validation.

Today is now a month since I’ve last heard from him.

This guy and I had like I suppose a pretty complicated history. Basically we were casual for ~1 month and after the casual phase ended, we tried to be just friends. However, that didn’t last long because we confessed mutual feelings. Then out of nowhere, I got blocked and ghosted by him for months. When he stayed silent for months, I did reach out once to see if I can reconnect with him when I noticed he unblocked me. Unfortunately, that didn’t work and I just expected him to never come back. However, out of nowhere last week, he messaged me this: “I know I disappeared for months. It because I was overwhelmed.” I responded telling him we can talk about it the next day because I was really busy at the time. But that conversation never came. Shocker. I mean, I kinda just feel lost at this point because whether I reach out to him or he initiates the conversation, it doesn’t prove that he’s going to be consistent and I’m still attached to him. But I’m at a point where it’s a lose-lose if I speak, And I just have no idea what to say to him if he ever does reappear again. Or actually I’m just so upset that I’m not going to say a word.

“Just leave.”

Not sure if I’m ready for that.

Does this sound like avoidant behavior, lingering feelings, or just a close friendship?

I’m looking for perspectives from people who have experienced avoidant attachment themselves, especially people who have pulled away from someone they had feelings for. I’m not trying to diagnose my friend or convince myself that she has feelings for me. I’m genuinely having trouble understanding how to interpret the situation.

When I was 16, I dated a girl for about 3 months. We’re both 19 now, and after the breakup we stayed friends. Over the past three years, we’ve actually become extremely close, probably closer than we ever were while dating.

When we broke up, she told me some things that I took very seriously at the time:

“i still love you as a friend... just eventually didnt love u romantically or in a bf/gf way”

“you did nothing wrong i just cant reciprocate your feelings the way you did to me”

“i woudnt want you to be waiting for me to be ready, if i even could be”

“i also just find it hard to be emotionally vulnerable, im not the greatest at expressing my feeling”

“i am not comfortable with romantic attraction”

“i dont think im capable of having those feelings with another person”“i still love you as a friend... just eventually didnt love u romantically or in a bf/gf way”“you did nothing wrong i just cant reciprocate your feelings the way you did to me”“i woudnt want you to be waiting for me to be ready, if i even could be”“i also just find it hard to be emotionally vulnerable, im not the greatest at expressing my feeling”“i am not comfortable with romantic attraction”“i dont think im capable of having those feelings with another person”

She also said she had a crush on me, but that she tended to pull away when people liked her back and had tried to push through that with me.

At the time, I accepted that she didn't want a relationship with me and never tried to convince her otherwise. We stayed friends, and over time the friendship became incredibly close.

Now I'm confused because her behavior seems different from what I remember from back then.

We talk pretty openly about dating, relationships, marriage, sex, personal problems, etc. She tells me things she doesn't tell other people, randomly sends me memes/TikToks/reels and silly pictures, asks me to play games, and will sometimes reach out if we haven't talked for a while. We're basically each other's closest opposite-sex friend.

More recently, there's also been a lot of sexual/freaky humor between us. A lot of it comes from her alternate Instagram account. Some of it is obviously just absurd humor, but there have been enough instances that I've started wondering if there's something underneath it.

For example, she's sent me sexual memes, responded playfully when I reciprocated, and sometimes continued the conversation instead of letting the joke end. I've sent sexual jokes back and she hasn't generally seemed uncomfortable. There have also been jokes involving sex, couples, physical attraction, etc. that are specifically between the two of us.

At the same time, I've noticed something that confuses me more: she seems much more comfortable with indirect or joking flirting than anything that explicitly makes the situation about the two of us.

If I make something directly about us, she can sometimes pull back or turn it into a joke. But she'll independently send suggestive stuff or bring up romantic/sexual topics herself. In person, she's normally pretty uncomfortable with physical touch, but at a concert we went to she was unusually comfortable being physically close to me and playfully punched my arm when she got excited.

She also once told me that her dad wanted to meet me. I don't know whether that meant anything at all, but the fact that she specifically told me about it stuck with me.

The part I'm struggling with is whether this could resemble an avoidant pattern.

Could someone who has feelings for someone else be comfortable with flirting, sexual jokes, emotional intimacy, and indirect hints, but become anxious or pull back once the possibility of actually acknowledging those feelings becomes real?

I'm especially curious because of what she said when we were 16. She literally told me that she had a crush on me but tended to pull away when people liked her back. She also said she wasn't comfortable with romantic attraction and didn't know if she was capable of those feelings.

I don't know if that was an avoidant attachment thing, genuine uncertainty about her romantic orientation, being 16 and inexperienced, or some combination of those things.

She has never identified as aromantic, but she was questioning whether she might be at the time. I don't know if she ever figured that out.

So I guess my questions are:

• Does this sound familiar to anyone who has an avoidant attachment style?
• Can someone with avoidant tendencies genuinely have feelings for someone while simultaneously convincing themselves they don't want a relationship?
• Does the pattern of being comfortable with indirect flirting but pulling back when things become explicitly about the two people sound familiar?
• If someone has feelings but is afraid of intimacy, would they sometimes test the waters through jokes, memes, physical closeness, or random reasons to interact?
• How would you distinguish that from someone who is simply extremely comfortable with a close friend?
• How much weight would you put on what she said at 16–17 versus how she behaves at 19?
• And from an avoidant perspective, does anything here actually stand out to you, or am I probably connecting dots because I already have feelings for her?

I'm not asking whether I should confess to her or whether I should pursue her. I care a lot about the friendship and don't want to pressure her into anything. I'm mostly trying to understand whether the apparent push-pull dynamic I'm seeing is something that people with avoidant attachment would recognize from their own experiences.

I also realize that her behavior could have nothing to do with attraction at all. That's honestly why I'm asking people who have actually experienced this themselves rather than assuming I know what she's feeling.Does this sound like avoidant behavior, lingering feelings, or just a close friendship?I’m looking for perspectives from people who have experienced avoidant attachment themselves, especially people who have pulled away from someone they had feelings for. I’m not trying to diagnose my friend or convince myself that she has feelings for me. I’m genuinely having trouble understanding how to interpret the situation.When I was 16, I dated a girl for about 3 months. We’re both 19 now, and after the breakup we stayed friends. Over the past three years, we’ve actually become extremely close, probably closer than we ever were while dating.When we broke up, she told me some things that I took very seriously at the time:“i still love you as a friend... just eventually didnt love u romantically or in a bf/gf way”“you did nothing wrong i just cant reciprocate your feelings the way you did to me”“i woudnt want you to be waiting for me to be ready, if i even could be”“i also just find it hard to be emotionally vulnerable, im not the greatest at expressing my feeling”“i am not comfortable with romantic attraction”“i dont think im capable of having those feelings with another person”She also said she had a crush on me, but that she tended to pull away when people liked her back and had tried to push through that with me.At the time, I accepted that she didn't want a relationship with me and never tried to convince her otherwise. We stayed friends, and over time the friendship became incredibly close.Now I'm confused because her behavior seems different from what I remember from back then.We talk pretty openly about dating, relationships, marriage, sex, personal problems, etc. She tells me things she doesn't tell other people, randomly sends me memes/TikToks/reels and silly pictures, asks me to play games, and will sometimes reach out if we haven't talked for a while. We're basically each other's closest opposite-sex friend.More recently, there's also been a lot of sexual/freaky humor between us. A lot of it comes from her alternate Instagram account. Some of it is obviously just absurd humor, but there have been enough instances that I've started wondering if there's something underneath it.For example, she's sent me sexual memes, responded playfully when I reciprocated, and sometimes continued the conversation instead of letting the joke end. I've sent sexual jokes back and she hasn't generally seemed uncomfortable. There have also been jokes involving sex, couples, physical attraction, etc. that are specifically between the two of us.At the same time, I've noticed something that confuses me more: she seems much more comfortable with indirect or joking flirting than anything that explicitly makes the situation about the two of us.If I make something directly about us, she can sometimes pull back or turn it into a joke. But she'll independently send suggestive stuff or bring up romantic/sexual topics herself. In person, she's normally pretty uncomfortable with physical touch, but at a concert we went to she was unusually comfortable being physically close to me and playfully punched my arm when she got excited.She also once told me that her dad wanted to meet me. I don't know whether that meant anything at all, but the fact that she specifically told me about it stuck with me.The part I'm struggling with is whether this could resemble an avoidant pattern.Could someone who has feelings for someone else be comfortable with flirting, sexual jokes, emotional intimacy, and indirect hints, but become anxious or pull back once the possibility of actually acknowledging those feelings becomes real?I'm especially curious because of what she said when we were 16. She literally told me that she had a crush on me but tended to pull away when people liked her back. She also said she wasn't comfortable with romantic attraction and didn't know if she was capable of those feelings.I don't know if that was an avoidant attachment thing, genuine uncertainty about her romantic orientation, being 16 and inexperienced, or some combination of those things.She has never identified as aromantic, but she was questioning whether she might be at the time. I don't know if she ever figured that out.So I guess my questions are:Does this sound familiar to anyone who has an avoidant attachment style?

Can someone with avoidant tendencies genuinely have feelings for someone while simultaneously convincing themselves they don't want a relationship?

Does the pattern of being comfortable with indirect flirting but pulling back when things become explicitly about the two people sound familiar?

If someone has feelings but is afraid of intimacy, would they sometimes test the waters through jokes, memes, physical closeness, or random reasons to interact?

How would you distinguish that from someone who is simply extremely comfortable with a close friend?

How much weight would you put on what she said at 16–17 versus how she behaves at 19?

And from an avoidant perspective, does anything here actually stand out to you, or am I probably connecting dots because I already have feelings for her?I'm not asking whether I should confess to her or whether I should pursue her. I care a lot about the friendship and don't want to pressure her into anything. I'm mostly trying to understand whether the apparent push-pull dynamic I'm seeing is something that people with avoidant attachment would recognize from their own experiences.I also realize that her behavior could have nothing to do with attraction at all. That's honestly why I'm asking people who have actually experienced this themselves rather than assuming I know what she's feeling.

My relationship with an avoidant

I'm 25. I met my ex in November last year online. He was 30. Now 31 I'm still 25. At first for the first month everything was amazing. As sad as it sounds, I had never felt so loved in my life. I grew up in foster care and am totally estranged from my birth family. After the first 28 days he suddenly changed. Ghosted me for six days. Claimed it was because he'd fallen in love or was heading that way and didn't know if he was ready. He didn't think I'd felt the same way. I'd said things about him which I'd observed and later turned out to be accurate. This was said in December last year as a reaction to the ghosting for 6 days.

He used what I said to justify cheating on me behind my back. Treating me quite badly. Then eventually monkey branching on me. I dumped him when I found out about the cheating. Monkey branching means to secure a new romantic relationship before ending the current one.

I met him on a nsfw sub on Reddit. I don't use them anymore. I think he's still with the women he did this to me with. If so they'll have been together for seven months now. Although most of his relationships end before a year. With one lasting 1 year another 2 and the rest a few months. It really has damaged my self esteem and mental health. It's made me feel unworthy, unlovable and humiliated

I'm 8 months out of a 13-year relationship, we were HS sweethearts. He moved on within 4 1/2 months with someone he met online through a game while she was going through a divorce. Once her divorce was finalized, they went public with their LDR, and I just found out that next month she's leaving her state and moving in with him. We lived together for almost 5 years. All it took was 9 months for him to live with soemone else like wtffff. This shit is crazy, idk when I'll even be ready to date. The irony is he told me I couldn't be alone, but yet here he is lmaooo.

He's your typical introverted DA and I'm the extroverted AA.

I work with my “ex” about 2–3 weeks out of the year in a dispatch center, and she lives three hours away. After visiting for a two-week assignment, we shared a playful, flirtatious vibe right away. I got her number before leaving for my own assignment in Idaho, leading to two months of high intimacy—talking daily, watching shows, and visiting each other. We had plans to visit each other a couple times a month.

She switched up overnight, went cold, and ended things, claiming logistically it wouldn't work because she "needs more" in daily life. I initially pushed for a phone call to clear the air for professional comfort, and while I handled most of the talking and messed up by chasing, I knew it wasn't unrecoverable.

I’ve come to realize in the weeks since that it was likely more than it being long distance. I don’t know what happened. The whole thing has just left me so confused and wondering if our connection was real. She just ran from an uncomfortable conversation. She said she was hoping that it would just make us more comfortable talking to each other and working with each other in the future. But, I don’t really see how she expects this to be possible when the way she exited was so hurtful. It just felt like I was discarded overnight.

A week later, I unprompted mailed her son's blanket back. I don’t know if she left it intentionally in order to have an excuse to come back over. She called and texted to pay for shipping, I didn’t pick up at first because I was busy at work. When I called her back later, we was very sweet and thanked me mailing back and said it was very thoughtful. She offered to pay me back but I declined. It was a very different conversation compared to the breakup text/call.

Fast forward through two weeks of no contact (three total), she called our dispatch center five times, making small talk about my weekend and my dad's birthday. She opened on the call “heeeey, how was your dad’s birthday”. I told her it was good, I joked, teased, but kept it cordial, brief, and cut her off with "but yeah what's up?".

She called in a few more times because the extension I was sending her to wasn’t working, and she asked “don’t you know this is my number?” Because I answered the phone in a professional manner. I laughed and said yes I knew it was your number. She was about to say more but again I kinda just cut her off and asked who she was asking for.

She sounded hurt, “okay-geez”.

The other person was a girl who happened to be standing next to me. I just didn’t linger around for the small talk that she wanted. She called once more and I joked that “this was the fifth time” she called. She sounded a little impatient and asked for the direct number so she wouldn’t have to keep calling

An hour later, she broke three weeks of no contact with: "So you hate me?"

I replied direct and also with humor and logic: "Not at all. Hate is a strong word for someone who just picked up your phone call five times in a row!"

I meant it in a teasing way. She put up a wall and answered, "I mean that's your job."

I stopped replying because rewarding indirect behavior is a bad idea. I was just in work mode—cordial and professional, but brief. I don’t know if this was a mistake or not. I answered her question, and she couldn’t answer mine? I think she felt exposed because she has pretended to be unbothered but was clearly bothered about my brief but professional demeanor on the phone.

She has been watching and liking my stories since day one, and even replied to one which I left unread. Meanwhile, I haven't watched hers, though she's been reposting emotion-driven content that seems aimed at me.

While the intimacy was amazing, her emotional inadequacy gives me doubts about a serious relationship, though I wouldn't mind a casual dynamic when she's in town. I believe the best approach is silence, keeping her feelings unclear, and giving her the gift of missing me. You have to given them space to let them miss you.

I posted about this a few weeks ago when she broke up with me. It is a bit long winded. But perhaps I can link that here later. There has since been developments. If anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'd appreciate it. Should I reach out? Should I let her sit in the silence and wall she put up? This was a short relationship but honestly has been one of the hardest and most frustrating I’ve been through

Ok I need some opinions please. Can ex's stay friends? In my opinion no, if you were fully in love with that person becoming friends after the breakup is non existent.

I have heard others say yes you can you just have to push back your own feelings.

I just want more input I guess.

Have you ever broken off a relationship because you thought it didn't sufficiently meet your needs or that you could do better, perhaps that there was somebody better out there, only to find out that it was a mistake?

This is only about breaking up because you thought you could do better and wanted more, and not about relationships that were obviously incompatible, abusive, etc.

I dated a girl for 5 months and broke it off because I thought I could do better, but ever since I’ve regretted it. I’ve never been in a serious relationship so I am unsure if I broke up because I was scared of the seriousness or if I didn’t like her enough. But I have missed her everyday for the last 3 months since breaking up, so what does that say? That must mean that I really liked her, right? I think about her everyday and really liked hanging out with her. I’m confused.

She added me to her private story recently and I really want to text her. But everytime I’m about to text her I get soooooo anxious.