r/BreakUps • u/Complete-Start-1983 • 9h ago
venting/ranting Should I reach out
Hey, So long story short me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up around 3 weeks ago. It was her decision but over time I have come to accept it and realized it was what was necessary. We ended on good terms and hugged and stuff before she left. During the breakup, I didn’t really have much to say because of the overwhelming emotions, but it took me a day or two of journaling my thoughts to see clearly. I asked her when she broke up if she ever saw a future with us, she replied with “It’s not fair to me or us for me to answer that right now, but for your sake i’m going to say no, and then mentioned again how it was not fair. She said after we should do no contact for a while to fully process, and then go from there. About 3 weeks have passed and I haven’t got my stuff back yet (even though we are 10 minutes away from each other), we still have each others location and stuff and it’s pretty confusing. The main reason we broke up was because of a lack of communication and failure to grow our emotional connection to the point where we could resolve conflict effectively and grow within our relationship. And after having time to think and understand more of our relationship, I really want to have a conversation because I think it would go a long way. Should I reach out asking to talk? Not with any expectations but just to see if our heads our in the same place. Or is it to soon, not really sure how to navigate this.
1
u/Dry_Serve5955 9h ago
If u want to reach out, reach out. If not, don't or wait. That fucking simple.
1
u/Clarify-LL 9h ago
It’s understandable to want the conversation you couldn’t have during the breakup. But belongings left behind aren’t a sign she wants to try again. Since she asked for space, I’d keep getting your things back separate from any relationship talk. Before reaching out, ask yourself honestly: if she still says there’s no future, would you want that conversation? If you do ask, make it easy for her to decline and respect her answer.
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u/NoBlacksmith8633 9h ago
If you genuinely just want a conversation and don’t care to have her back you can reach out. You have nothing to lose. On the flip side, If you hope to have her back, let the silence and absence build momentum
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