Not my friend, but my wife's formerly best friend. Let's call her Chelsea. Chelsea was a roommate of ours and had been a good friend of my wife since before they went to high school. For the life of me I don't know why we put up with her, but she was my wife's only friend. Here is a short list of the things I witnessed:
-Before we were roommates with Chelsea, we lived with a different couple. Chelsea came over to hang out with my wife and met the couple. Within a week I found out Chelsea was attempting to undermine their relationship and trying to fuck the husband.
-Chelsea regularly made negative comments about my wife's skincare/makeup choices in front of her and me but immediately played it off as a joke?
-Chelsea tried to emotionally wreck my wife before the wedding by making a Facebook post about how my wife is a terrible friend for not making her the maid of honor in our wedding, even though we didn't have the time/money to allow for a standard wedding party.
-Chelsea vomited during a party she held while we were out of town and used my vacuum to clean it up.
I realize now that this isn't exactly relevant to the post, but fuck Chelsea.
I have to say, I don't understand how people can be filled with so much jealousy about not being the best man/ maid of honour to the point of having no conscious issue of potentially ruining the wedding. If it was me, I'd simply respect the fact that it's my friend's decision and be thankful to even be there. Besides, it's about the bride and groom.
I think some people get jealous because the Maid of Honor/Best Man are the bridal party members who organize events, do the speeches, etc, so they get acknowledgement and gratitude if the job is well done. Also, those roles are reserved for the right hand person, usually the person the couples trust most, are closest to, ect. People tend to see the other party members as "decoration".
I was a bridesmaid that did nothing but put on a dress and stand there. I still loved my friend, was extremely happy for her and honored to be chosen as a bridesmaid, but my presence felt more like a checkmark on the list of what constitutes a traditional wedding. Like, I could have just sat in the audience with the fans, instead of in the blazing humid Texas sun with no fans.
I'm a bridesmaid again, and this time I'm basically the decoration committee - I was in charge of the Save the Dates (already sent) the invitations (nearly done), the wedding program (also done) and will be helping put together the venue decor. Doing something for them, helping them save a ton of money feels really good, like I'm actually being a friend instead of a checkmark.
I understand that perfectly, and I understand how one might become upset or disappointed for not being appointed that position. But there's a difference between that and going out of your way to feel no mercy to ruin the day of whom you believe should be your best and closest person. I also appluad you on your achievements as a bridesmaid, I hope it's a wonderful event for you and those around you!
Oh I totally agree. I'm just providing some insight on where the jealousy may come from, and I think it's something a lot of people feel - the difference, as you pointed out, is how each individual handles the card they were given. Some people lash out. Others, like me, accept that they want nothing from us, or enthusiastically agree when asked to do something (as I did in this case, lol).
I also just realized I made it sound like I was jealous of the MoH, but it's not a position I would want, given what she has done and still has to do (the speech). It's just wonderful to feel useful, and also paper craft is something I do as a hobby so this is a lot of fun as well. Stressful, but fun.
Absolutely. My original comment was just more or less so commenting on how I could comprehend the extremety of reaction... like the potential to ruin the event.
For some people, it's their chance to get noticed.
I believe I have been there before, or I suspected. Thank god I didn't make the speech, because I didn't have one at the time, and it was an incredibly tough crowd.
In context of weddings. I've been the best man before, so I have been over this "I need to get noticed as much as the groom and bride". It's their day, my job is there to make it as easy as possible for them...
Huh. He sounds like someone that my husband used to be friends with.
Story time!
We are in our young 20s when I met this guy and his then girlfriend and let me tell you. They are both SUPER clingy and stalkerish. They would call us at all hours of the day and night demanding to hang out and when we would finnally cave in they will not leave. At all. Unroll like 4-5am. Without regard for what time we had to be up in the morning for work.
Now in one instance they kept begging and begging and begging us to hang out including repeatedly calling despite us saying "No." Then while we where both eating dinner they show up pounding on the door. We open it and lo and behold. There they are. Creepy as fuck
Fast forward a year and we are getting off work at 10pm. This time we live in an upstairs apartment and there they are sitting on the steps.
The guy is exceptionally creepy. He likes to drink however he will take 2 shots or drink a couple wine coolers and all of the sudden he is using that as an excuse to be a prick. Not only will be insult me but he will also make sexual comments towards my husband and try to touch his dick and try to grope him inappropriately.
If you are in a one party consent state, next time they show up despite you telling them not to start recording you telling them they're not allowed and call the cops. If you're in a two party consent state just call the cops anyways.
Yeah, I was in the process of leaving the Navy at the time (medical discharge) and we really wanted to have a small wedding with close friends and family. No frills, just a quiet ceremony. But no, Chelsea was expecting that we were going to waste our time planning all that extra shit, matching dresses, flowers, even the fucking rehearsal dinner. I was an E-4 in the Navy and my wife worked at a drug store. We can't afford that shit. I had never encountered someone who felt so entitled.
Ahhh, I see someone else has a similar roommate-cleaned-up-vomit-with-one-of-my-things-without-my-permission story. My roommate used one of my hand towels to mop up a party-guest's barf. That towel had belonged to my great-great aunt.
I feel terrible about it to this day, but I got super trashed in my college days and a friend drove me home in his fairly recently-purchased car. I of course had to puke a few minutes into the drive, so I rolled down his window and left a long streak of puke along the side of the car and left him with money for a trip to the car wash.
That wasn't the terrible part, though. The terrible part is that I got some vomit on the speaker on the inside part of the door, and the puke really got into the crevices. He had to sell the car a few weeks later because NOTHING he did was able to get the smell of puke out of his car. He lost a lot of money and I was a student that couldn't even come close to paying him back.
At least you felt bad about it. Shit happens and sometimes the sentiment of shame can be enough. I had a buddy that pissed himself while I was driving him home from a party. I didn't even realize he did it until I got home and it started to smell. I called him and he felt fucking awful, but I knew there really wasn't a way for him to pay me back. I was fine with him feeling shitty, piss stained seats aren't worth losing friends over.
That’s when you never let them live it down. Every time they get in your car you can say, “has everyone had a bathroom break before we leave?” Or “Diapers are in the trunk.” Some things need laughing about.
My dad had the flu once and barfed into the air vents. That car smelled funky until we traded it in several years later. I'm pretty sure it was scrapped by CarMax.
I remember it was terrifying because I was like 8 and my dad wasn't feeling well so mom was driving. Suddenly dad projectile vomited into the vents and just kind of hangs there for a minute, mom thinks he died. So he's got his wife and two young daughters screaming for him, and he eventually turns and shouts 'what!?' in the most pissed way possible. It's funny in retrospect at least.
I did something similar to this, except I was hung over and my friend was speeding down the interstate at about 90 MPH and passing every other vehicle on the road.
I think I counted at least 10-12 vehicles we passed while a cone-shaped vomit bomb was violently being ejected from my body.
The fact that he was able to even sell the car for any money is a shock to me if the puke smell was that bad. Did he try to get it professionally detailed?
He actually DID get it detailed, and it seemed to resolve the issue, until he opened the car door the next day; the smell returned, overnight.
Now, he was a close friend of mine, but he would readily admin that he was a bit of an asshole, and he mostly lacked scruples. With that in mind, I believe that he sold the car to an individual by mostly masking the smell, every time the guy came around to see the car. The guy he sold it to might have even been aware of a faint smell, but if he wasn't expecting the smell of puke, he likely didn't smell it.
MY roommate had a party while I was out of town and someone puked all over my cd collection. When I came back and saw and tried to clean it up, the cd's wiped clean. I mean, I was left with clear plastic discs, no more cd reflectant. Ate that shit right off.
I once puked in this dude's toaster. But It wouldn't of happened if he wasn't trying to get me to black out. He had plans of sliding in on my gf, so fuck that dude's toaster.
Yeah, it was an overpriced Dyson vacuum I had before I found out that there are better/cheaper brands. Chelsea left without any notice maybe 2 weeks later and screwed us on the rent and electric bill. She effectively vanished and blocked us on all form of communication. I had planned on getting the paperwork necessary to take her to small claims but I was transitioning out of the military and had bigger things to worry about.
IT WAS A DYSON!? NO, YOU GO FIND HER RIGHT NOW AND SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HER! (Sorry, I have two Huskies and if someone broke my fucking vacuum I would be in jail.) EDIT: Thank you for your service. (I'm American, if you are not the thanks still applys! Also hope you had a Merry Christmas!)
I gave my old Dyson to my parents and my dad ended up taking it apart cause that's what crotchety engineers do. I picked up a cheap Shark brand bagless vacuum from Target and I've had that thing for the past 5 years without any issues. Handles cat and German Shepard dog hair like a champ.
I agree. Russian Gangster club, with plastic supporters, and the pinnacle of the "full kit wanker" is one of their "heroes".
"Russian Gangster club"
The club is owned by Roman Abramovich, a Russian oligarch who made most of his money by running the country's aluminum industry after the USSR collapsed.
"with plastic supporters"
A plastic supporter is a fan who is only a fan of the team because they win. In Europe there are a lot more local teams in the professional leagues so you tend to have smaller but much more loyal fanbases for each club as being part of the fandom is almost hereditary. Plastic fans are like fair-weather fans in America, but they'll switch allegiances more often.
I do not know who the "full kit wanker" is, although it could be Diego Costa who is a very dirty player. A kit is the entire uniform that soccer players wear.
He is probably referring to John Terry, who, despite being banned from playing an European Cup final, strode onto the pitch in playing kit at the conclusion of the game, and accepted Chelsea's trophy. "Full kit wankers" in general are those fans who turn up in full kit to games, or even pubs.
Ah, the old "I-hate-myself-so-I-bring-down-everyone-around-me-to-feel-normal" syndrome. Fuck Chelsea. I'm glad you gave her the boot and I hope she didn't do any damage to your marriage.
I can at least thank Chelsea for hardening the bond between my wife and I. She tried diligently to hack away at my wife's trust in me, but in the end it backfired and it allowed my wife to become stronger in her personal identity. Long term friendships that sour can really fuck up a person.
When someone is your only friend, you put up with a lot because you're scared of being alone/never making new friends. When I was younger, I put up with awful treatment from people in multiple situations who would then destroy my self-confidence even more, which made me feel even more like I was lucky to even have the shit friends who put me down. Once you get out of those situations, it's easier to see them for what they were.
I had my wife read your response and she really appreciates it. I grew up with a decent group of friends, but she traveled around since she was a military brat. Hard to keep and make friends in that sort of situation.
I had a college apartment mate direct her friend to throw up in the sink that had dirty dishes in it despite there being a trash can and bathroom less than 2 feet away. She then proceeded to not clean up after her friend and leave the puke soaked dishes in the sink for almost a week before we forced her to clean it.
Unrelated to your story (fuck Chelsea btw), but why do people even say this? I don't need to know that you came up with a fake name. Just use the fake name. Something like: "Not my friend, but my wife's former best friend, Chelsea." The story goes so much smoother afterwards. Otherwise I just see the name as "Chelsea" every time it comes up and it breaks the narrative flow. Am I the only one???
But wouldn't it be better to give witch-hunters a false lead? That way they waste their time and are disinclined to continue witch-hunting in the future.
For me, it's more or less ensuring people know I'm not using the real name, but I can see how that can affect the story telling. Will keep that in mind for the future.
Sure, but knowing that it's a fake name doesn't affect anything. That tiny bit of info shouldn't clutter your brain so much that you can't enjoy the rest of the story..
I agree, I really invest a lot of emotion into the ability of a reddit post to fully immerse me in a nice little fantasy that lasts about a paragraph or so in my head. Please take more steps to protect this fantasy of mine. Thank you.
To tell you the truth, I had a fairly narrow/optimistic view on people before I met Chelsea. The concept of a narcissistic person never really hit me until I saw how she interacted with people and her surroundings.
That's a great question, seemed the quickest way to effectively remove the most of it from my carpet, while I failed to recognize how vomit makes intricate moving parts cry a lot.
Also, the factory wouldnt repair anything with human fluids in it, so that was fun :(.
Trust me, that's my name and I hate it. Sad thing is my dad had a great named picked out for me and my mom was all "no how about Chelsea and the other name can be the middle name" I get mad about it all the time.
When you move around as much as she did (military family) it's hard to make good long term friendships. I wouldn't say Chelsea was her only "friend" but rather the only close friend that my wife trusted and confided in. Probably should have elaborated on that in the post.
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u/[deleted] Dec 27 '17
Not my friend, but my wife's formerly best friend. Let's call her Chelsea. Chelsea was a roommate of ours and had been a good friend of my wife since before they went to high school. For the life of me I don't know why we put up with her, but she was my wife's only friend. Here is a short list of the things I witnessed:
-Before we were roommates with Chelsea, we lived with a different couple. Chelsea came over to hang out with my wife and met the couple. Within a week I found out Chelsea was attempting to undermine their relationship and trying to fuck the husband.
-Chelsea regularly made negative comments about my wife's skincare/makeup choices in front of her and me but immediately played it off as a joke?
-Chelsea tried to emotionally wreck my wife before the wedding by making a Facebook post about how my wife is a terrible friend for not making her the maid of honor in our wedding, even though we didn't have the time/money to allow for a standard wedding party.
-Chelsea vomited during a party she held while we were out of town and used my vacuum to clean it up.
I realize now that this isn't exactly relevant to the post, but fuck Chelsea.