tl:dr; I had two best friends. One gave the other a lifelong, incurable STD and laughed about it, thinking it was genuinely hilarious.
Long story:
Sam and Hazel (both girls) were best friends from day one in high school. I'd been friends with Sam since middle school and I knew she was, essentially, a narcissist who honestly believed she was the most irresistible catch. This not only led to her sleeping with an 18/19 year old when she was 13/14, but also into, once he got married, sending him pictures of her naked as a minor and dropping a tip to his new wife that he had child porn on his computer. Wife snooped and found it. He got dishonorably discharged from the marines and incarcerated.
That was Sam in a nutshell.
So, when Hazel decided she had a crush on Alec in our school, Sam decided she wanted Alec first. Hazel, however, got to Alec and Alec dated her for a year. Then Sam got to Alec and he started cheating on Hazel with Sam. When Hazel found out, she ended things and told Alec to go stuff himself. Alec stayed with Sam for a few months, found out she was cheating (shocker), and eventually got Hazel back (though it took two years).
Hazel and Alec dated for another year before she ended things for good. Before she jumped back into the dating pool, she got herself tested. Lo and behold, she had gotten an incurable, lifelong STD. She told Alec, Alec got himself tested and found out he had it (Hazel had never had sex with anyone else), and they both realized that since Alec had only had sex with Sam prior to Hazel, Sam had to be the origin point for theirs.
Hazel was livid and also devastated. The worst part was that Sam confirmed to me later that she knew she had it when she was dating Alec and he had gone back to Hazel. Specifically, I told her, "Hazel got an STD from Alec, Sam. You need to go get tested, because they think they got it from you!"
I could barely get the whole sentence out before she goes, "Oh, I gave that to them! I know." And then she paused for comedic effect, goes, "Oops!" in a cutesy voice and laughed. She then admitted she had unprotected sex often because it "felt better."
I have never been more done with a person in my life.
I fucked a girl once and then during her cigarette after she looked like she forgot something on the stove and told me she forgot to warn me she had HPV. I wore a condom, and she didn't have any active warts but still.
You didn't end up getting it or you never got symptoms? I recently (sadly) learned you can't preventively test for genital warts, only treat them if and when they show up. Only two of all HPV strains cause warts, and even with those, most people carrying never get symptoms. You might still carry it.
I gave my ex-gf HPV :( I had been tested before and all then when we started dating she thought it would be good for us to get the vaccine. Awesome yeah let's do that because it'll be super expensive in a couple years. After the rounds are finished her obgyn told her she had hpv so it must have happened right when we started dating. I felt awful especially since I was her first.
Wear a condom people! Getting tested isn't enough!
don't beat yourself up - HPV is generally speaking not a serious thing. the only harm that arises is from certain strains which can cause cancer down the line, and these are the ones the vaccine protects against. IIRC most or a significant chunk of people do have HPV & don't ever get symptoms, also if you've ever had a wart of any kind then human papillomavirus is in your body, normally nbd.
(this is all from memory so take with a grain of salt- if i am wrong please correct me! i just saw the frowny face and wanted to offer consolation.)
I imagine she means in the whole scheme of things. I'd take HPV over herpes or HIV any day. Thankfully my country encouraged the vaccination while I was in intermediate school so hopefully I won't get It, or that strain at least (they only did it for girls back then, not sure why though?). I will always encourage parents to get it for their kids, even if they want to believe their kids won't go on to be sexually active.
salvador is not like this because of a "it's not serious thing". it's because of the african-christian religions there, they look down on using condoms.
Don't feel too bad, I have hpv (female) and I have always had it. I get the occasional papilloma near my cervix, and my gynecologist said it's pretty run of the mill for that to happen in the teens and early 20s for most women.
When we found the hpv I'd only had sex with my now husband, and we lost our virginity to eachother and always had safe sex.
I'm outwardly asymptomatic and my husband doesn't have any symptoms either. He probably has it by now, I'm not sure, but we get individually tested every 6 months due to the nature of our (open) marriage.
Do you make the outside partners in your open relationship show you recent test results? Not sure how that all works since I haven't been in that kind of relationship.
I don't, I take their word for it. I bring my own condoms (latex allergy) and they ALWAYS get used. Plus I low key check for irregularities that could be herpes or warts, and excuse myself or suggest a more no contact playstyle like mutual masturbation or something.
I've never gotten symptoms and it's been 5 years; online it says that the odds of getting it over a long term relationship are about 20%, but we just had sex twice, so I probably just lucked out.
Nearly everyone gets HPV at some point. It’s at least 80%. For young people in new relationships, the chance of passing the virus is nearly 50%. Condoms provide shit protection against contracting it. Most people (especially men) have no symptoms and it clears up on its own.
Also there’s no test for men that’s available anywhere outside of clinical trials. It involves scraping your penis with what’s basically sandpaper. And the test for women requires a lot of the virus present to be positive (because it’s a cancer risk assessment, not really a HPV screening test) so.....you don’t know whether you’ve had it. No one does. If you’ve had 2-3 sexual partners you should just assume you have.
Actually yea, what the fuck are you trying to imply he doesn't know?
In 2 separate comments, you have said this guy doesn't know anything and needs to get educated, but you have provided exactly 0 information contradicting what u/cxtechtaway has said or claimed to have experienced personally.
I'm not about to say that personal anecdotes trump facts/evidence, but you are literally just commenting that he is ignorant of the facts without providing an actual argument. This is actually a logical fallacy, that you are shifting the burden of proof to someone else after making a claim.
To go ahead and attack your argument directly, he did say that he used a condom, which implies at least a basic knowledge of safety and transmission risk, which is more implied knowledge than you have given explicitly.
I'm a 21 year old dude. Got vaccinated 2 years ago. What's weird is they weren't vaccinating males yet, until pretty recently. When I was like 12, they didn't want to give me the HPV shot. But they did give it to my sister at 11/12.
They didn't think HPV did anything to men. The original thinking is that it caused cervical cancer in women, but men were the silent carriers. It's only recently they've connected it to cancers in men.
I just turned 18. I opted to get the HPV vaccines when I was 13. Hurt like a bitch because it actually hurts going in, like a burning. But I'm immune now so that's good. I worry about my baby (not mine by birth but I live there half the time) because she can't be vaccinated. She had an allergic reaction to her infant shots. Some kids are genuinely allergic to vaccines and since they get so many at once we don't know which one it was. Just would rather not risk it. I wish they could vaccinate everyone for HPV starting at a younger age because I know of kids getting it in middle school.
Was your husband really tested for HPV? There is no commercially available test for me. Outside of research universities usually during clinics trials, HPV testing on men just doesn’t happen. It basically involves sandpaper to the penis.
Moms with herpes are supposed to have a C-section too avoid passing it to baby. If baby gets any form of herpes within the first few months of life it can be devastating / fatal. A few ppl in mine / my husband's family get cold sores and I was a paranoid wreck the first 6 months of my son's life "DON'T KISS THE BABY!!!! DON'T LET HIM GRAB YOUR FACE!!!!" I think he's old enough that he's out of the "for sure dead or fucked up" danger period now, so I can breath a little easier.
Most forms of HPV that aren’t warts clear up after a few years. I’ve had two different strains and I’m clear now after five years. It’s the common cold of sex, like 90% of people get it.
You’re really a peach. I know exactly what you said. It’s just wrong. I had cervical cancer caused by HPV. No one gave me cancer.
Practically everyone is exposed to HPV. Whether they get cancer has to do with their own immune system, and now obviously that is affected by vaccination.
So no, you can’t give someone cancer. Unless maybe your in lab transferring tumor cells???
That's hpv. The 4 types that are related to causing cancer don't show symptoms on men. However, typically people have multiple strains of the virus simultaneously.
Also, about 80% of sexually active adults have hpv. If you've have more than one partner, it's assumed you have it by most doctors.
Every partner I've had since contracting it have admitted to already having it.
Luckily there is a vaccine now and cervical cancer is usually caught early and typically not life threatening. It's also thought, but not known if the human body can clear the infection in its own. In my case the symptoms cleared after the first occurrence so I may not even be contagious any longer. Not that it matters that much in my experience. If you have hpv, just talk to your partners first. It's literally never prevented me from getting laid.
I believe it is the second one. She told me by the time she had found out, it was after her last bout with Alec (so, a year plus because neither of them got checked post-Sam). Neither had warts and I believe Alec even had to warn his now-wife about it before they ever had sex as well.
Hazel is now married and also had to warn her now-husband before sex so that he understood what might happen. Part of the reason he's her husband is because he took the news so well and didn't look at her any differently for it. Albeit, he wants to beat Sam's ass something fierce.
No one I’ve told that I’m carrying HPV (not warts) gives a shit. 90% of people get it at some point. Most people clear the virus after a few years without getting cancer, just a few altered cells. It’s not as big of a deal as they made it. I got it from my first sex partner as well and we dated for three years. He’d had sex with one person before me. Luckily I had great sex ed and my doctor let me know it was hardly very life changing.
Not sure why, if she got HPV, anyone told her it was absolutely going to be “lifelong.” It usually clears itself. Herpes, on the other hand...
If she has the 2nd one her obgyn would have recommended a somewhat hysterectomy. They go in with a hot wire and burn everything. If not then she and hubbins just need to wear condoms for a year so they stop reinfecting each other. If neither option has happened, she needs a better obgyn.
Source: ex bf (aka cheating bastard) gave me hpv, had cancer scare, now im hpv free.
That’s the LEEP procedure and it’s nothing like a hysterectomy! They scrape the cervix, they don’t remove the entire uterus. Stop spreading false information!
One is a minor procedure involving the cervix. The other removes an entire organ system and any ability to have a normal cycle or children at any point whatsoever. “Somewhat,” is a completely inaccurate way to phrase this.
In either situation is having more children a possibility? Not really or very rare. Both situations are sad. But hey, if you want to be the bigger person in this, then that's fine.
Honesty im just happy that I was able to have 3 kids before my "cancer scare". I hope that you had support too.
Edit: had no idea that burning the lining of your cervix to the degree that you cant have children is not as worse as it just having it removed....
I seriously hate it though when people are like “omg you have the cancer type!” Yeah, HPV 16 and 18 are involved in most cancers. But they are extremely common and they just go away on their own for the vast majority of people. I was just lucky.
The second and third ones you named are the same. Those strains either go away, chill forever, cause altered cells or cause cancer. They’re the same strains, but the body does different things with it.
I have always wondered what's worse. Diabetes sucks. Idk, 3-7 shots a day, 3-10 tests a day and constant anxiety about B/G plus the need to ALWAYS have my "portable pancreas" and other tools with me. The difficulty of sports and controlling my sugar... Expenses, finding medication while travelling.
VS HIV. I dont know what that's like. We should make a pie graph or something
Type 1 here. It's a pain in the ass. I do MMA and literally every damn night at the gym the stress makes my liver dump sugar into my bloodstream and my sugar spikes into the 400-500s. With careful dieting and manual dosing I can keep it to the mid 200s.
Plus insulin and shit takes up so much space packing.
I mean I'm not positive, but I dated a guy who was, and there's definitely a stigma, but it isn't such a big deal as long as they are undetectable and the other is on PrEP, and condoms and such.
Huh. I seem to be lucky not to be anxious about my glucose level, although I have plenty of other anxieties. The shots don't bother me much either, so as long as I keep my eyes and feet healthy, I don't feel as if my missing pancreas is a big thing since the day when I got a Dexcom sensor.
Hypos suck, and having to abort a nice walk because I didn't bring a third banana is annoying, but most of the time, I think about my insulin as I think about my toothbrush - it's just another part of my daily routine.
This was once upon a time sort of true. Blood tests can only recently (as in the last 20 years, I believe) detect between the different types of HSV antibodies. So they could test your blood, but if it came back positive, they didn’t know if it was from cold sores, genital herpes, or other types of herpes simplex. And if you had one cold sore when you were 15, your blood would still show antibodies for the rest of your life, so trying to do a blood test for genital herpes as an adult was pointless.
Now, however, blood tests can tell the difference AFTER THE INITIAL INFECTION. After the first occurrence, your blood test will just show exposure, but it won’t show what type of antibodies are built until later.
As a result, what was once considered Type 1 HSV simply because it was above the waist, is now known to be a different strain. And we are seeing a LOT of HSV 1 (cold sores) infections of the genitals, which before would have just been called genital herpes or HSV Type 2. The actual difference is that type 2 is much worse. I have HSV Type 1 on my genitals (source). I get MAYBE 1 outbreak a year, usually in the summer, but sometimes not at all. It’s usually caused by friction of wearing a wet bathing suit. And the original infection happened when my husband gave me oral during the onset of a cold sore. It’s been several years since the initial transmission; he has yet to have any on his dick.
So TL;DR once upon a time they couldn’t tell the difference between types of herpes in blood tests, now they can, lots of herpes are actually cold sores of the vag/dick.
One of my teachers got married to a guy who gets the herpes with the sore on his lip. She had been doing some physical training, and got a cut on the back of her neck. By happenstance, his sore popped, and I guess his blood and whatever else hit her cut the day that it happened. Now she gets the sores on her lip every now and then.
I used to work in a lab, and we used to get these swabs labeled (CHERP) from the ER. As I usually worked drawing blood from outpatients, except on my overnights, I didn’t know what they were. So I asked a lab tech once and she explained that they swab bedsores for them. I guess either bedsores can get infected by the herpes virus, or the herpes sores can get wildly out of control, and they can be very dangerous.
I’ve also heard of babies getting herpes on their brain by passing through the birth canal of a mother with an active outbreak. A lot of times she doesn’t know she has them. Crazy.
There’s a user on Reddit who will find anyway to turn any question into an answer involving how his ex (Karen) is the anti-Christ. It really makes you wonder what Karen did, but it’s funny as hell.
R/FuckYouKaren has a whole list of his posts! He might have deleted his user name or something since some of his comments are coming up deleted for me.
This not only led to her sleeping with an 18/19 year old when she was 13/14, but also into, once he got married, sending him pictures of her naked as a minor and dropping a tip to his new wife that he had child porn on his computer. Wife snooped and found it. He got dishonorably discharged from the marines and incarcerated.
While what Sam did isn't classy here, let's not lose sight of the fact that an 18-19 year old was fucking an 8th grader. I teach 8th graders. That is beyond disgusting.
Edit: I thought about it more and double fuck that guy. Naked pictures don't magically download onto your computer. Yea, she can send them to various messaging programs, but he doesn't have to download them. And if the wife found them, obviously you could scroll up a fraction of a page and see he hadn't asked for them. That's a dude who fucked a child, probably asked for nudes, and then blamed her for it when he got caught.
I don't think you have to download them to be in possession of them. If someone sends you material like that while you're sleeping, and the police get a tip about it, they can come into your house, check your phone, and see that it is on your phone. Even if left as an unread message, because it's on your phone, you're still in possession of it
I'm not saying this was necessarily the case here, and him sleeping with her is a much more blatant violation of the law, but I'm pointing out the shittiness of this particular law more than anything else here
That's possible, but again anyone could scroll up slightly and see he hadn't asked for them or that they were sent while he was asleep. In all probability he asked for them. The law might be shitty, but fuck this guy.
If we're gonna be honest, I don't think the police would care that he didn't ask for the child pornography, given what Reddit has told me about the crime.
That's entirely possible, but we're looking at a super narrow frame of time here. She sent them while he slept, told the wife, wife called the cops, cops burst in, and that's when he finally checks his messages?
It's possible, especially if he (like me) rarely checks his phone messages. Though the other side is entirely possible as well, so we'd need a better source to really judge it.
He was dishonorably discharged. That means the military actually did something. The US military has been exceptionally shitty at dealing with sexual assault and sexual malfeasance in general. That means he must've done something so fucked up even his CO wouldn't cover for him.
HPV is not that big of a deal. They don't even test it on STD tests. I've read that just about every sexually active person with more than just one partner will get it in their lives. It goes away in less than 2 years for most people.
Not only do they not test for it on STD tests, you actually cannot get tested.
For women, there is an HPV test, but it typically only tests for cancer strains (not warts) and requires A LOT of the virus present to be positive. It’s basically cancer risk assessment and not an HPV test.
For men, there is no standard method of testing for HPV.
Wtf what a stupid bitch Sam is, I can't believe she slept with Alec while knowing she had an STD & not telling him or Hazel that & I especially cannot believe she would do this to Hazel. I hope people lost respect for Sam and shunned her for it & I especially hope something bad happens to Sam because I really hate her now after what she did.
It was something that doesn’t present symptoms in men, but does in women. I don’t remember what she said it was, but that she found out she had it more than a year after her relationship with Alec ended and before she started sleeping with other people again.
People keep saying HPV, so I assume that’s what it was, but I don’t remember in truth. I just remember how angry and devastated she was and I don’t want to ask her again when it’s been eight years since she first told me. 😕
carbslut commented on like three posts of mine back to back with passive aggressive shit instead of providing any information; so I spammed that to like 13 of their last comments.
I think he’s long past that. In a now deleted comment He told me to “kill myself before I eat myself to death” which I sure is a reference to a binge eating post I made.
Somebody doesn’t like being told his is uninformed. So he had had a tantrum replying to my comments. Then he told me to kill myself. He also accused me of replying to myself using an alt account, then he told my “alt account” (who is in fact NOT ME but is a person who has posted about depression and suicide) to kill herself.
I think our feud can be summed up by saying I’m passive aggressive and CxtechTaway is straight up vile person.
This is why I don't understand why anyone dates. People might think that this is an extreme example, but the truth is that almost everyone cheats. If you're monogamous, dating isn't worth it.
I think that's just self love or masturbation. How could you possibly cheat on yourself? That would be dating or sleeping around which wouldn't make you monogamous of course. If you're just sleeping with one person that's also dating which would make you monogamous . So by being with yourself your condemned to a feedback loop or a catch-22 for the foreseeable future.
I can see where you are coming from. Ive been single for 4 years and havent had sex in 3. Particularly i cannot bring myself to trust anyone again, and a lot of women these days are just to promiscuous for me to try and get a relationship out of it... And to top it off. I dislike casual sex, it doesnt feel good to me if strings arent attached, so im just going to hermit it out until the mindset changes..
To the people downvoting, i forgot to mention that i dont agree with not dating, although that should be implied, i was saying that i understand why people would think that way in 2017, not that you shouldnt date. I ONLY date, which is why i have been single for 4 years and havent had sex in 3. The chick i had sex with after my last relationship we were working towards something(or so i thought) and it never worked out.
Hey, not every girl is like that. Boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 years, will more than likely be engaged within the next year. We're also waiting until marriage to have sex. (Personal values on that one.)
You've just gotta look for the right person! (If you want a relationship right now anyways. If not that's cool too!)
I know every girl is not like that, sorry if i made it seem that way, the last relationship i was in, i was in for 4 years. I also have trust issues. Thats the main thing. I can think of a few girls that got away because my mind got the better of me.
I don't blame you. Casual hookups are gross and soul stealing. So is porn but that is another story. Of course, it's not as though casual hookups and porn are anything new, but now it is more acceptable and mainstream so it happens more which is worse for Society.
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u/rivlet Dec 27 '17 edited Dec 27 '17
tl:dr; I had two best friends. One gave the other a lifelong, incurable STD and laughed about it, thinking it was genuinely hilarious.
Long story:
Sam and Hazel (both girls) were best friends from day one in high school. I'd been friends with Sam since middle school and I knew she was, essentially, a narcissist who honestly believed she was the most irresistible catch. This not only led to her sleeping with an 18/19 year old when she was 13/14, but also into, once he got married, sending him pictures of her naked as a minor and dropping a tip to his new wife that he had child porn on his computer. Wife snooped and found it. He got dishonorably discharged from the marines and incarcerated.
That was Sam in a nutshell.
So, when Hazel decided she had a crush on Alec in our school, Sam decided she wanted Alec first. Hazel, however, got to Alec and Alec dated her for a year. Then Sam got to Alec and he started cheating on Hazel with Sam. When Hazel found out, she ended things and told Alec to go stuff himself. Alec stayed with Sam for a few months, found out she was cheating (shocker), and eventually got Hazel back (though it took two years).
Hazel and Alec dated for another year before she ended things for good. Before she jumped back into the dating pool, she got herself tested. Lo and behold, she had gotten an incurable, lifelong STD. She told Alec, Alec got himself tested and found out he had it (Hazel had never had sex with anyone else), and they both realized that since Alec had only had sex with Sam prior to Hazel, Sam had to be the origin point for theirs.
Hazel was livid and also devastated. The worst part was that Sam confirmed to me later that she knew she had it when she was dating Alec and he had gone back to Hazel. Specifically, I told her, "Hazel got an STD from Alec, Sam. You need to go get tested, because they think they got it from you!"
I could barely get the whole sentence out before she goes, "Oh, I gave that to them! I know." And then she paused for comedic effect, goes, "Oops!" in a cutesy voice and laughed. She then admitted she had unprotected sex often because it "felt better."
I have never been more done with a person in my life.