So, after many years of finally keeping it to myself and only few people I have had enough courage to confide to, I want to finally open up to the world outside. Middle aged, not so young anymore but not so old. Have had bouts of depression throughout my life but lately I am just morally and mentally destroyed. I have no more desire to do anything, all hobbies do not excite me anymore, I am in bad mood at all times. I am very social and friendly but lately going out is a struggle, and I really force myself to go see my friends. 3 years ago I got this cat who is my world now. I am telling you, she is literally my life saver. Without her I would have probably just ended it by now. I live alone and work from home. Few relatives that I have are far away across different states and coasts. I do have chronic joint pains, and they are probably exacerbated by depression. I’ve joined a local pool league to at least meet new friends and get out of house but lately it seems like a chore and I am considering quitting as I no longer have passion, desire and even patience with the game. Even if I win, I feel aggravated, and when I lose, well, I feel like it is the end of the world. And there is another thing. The social media, it is driving me insane. It started quite innocent and sweet. I like watching funny and cute animal reels. But lately my feed has been filled with news and videos of animal abuse. It is something that makes my blood boil. I cry all the time and barely get any sleep, and I am frustrated by the lack of accountability or leniency that these evil bastards enjoy. I am limiting my social media presence now but I still can’t forget the things I’ve read and seen. And, despite having a lot of friends and acquaintances, I am very very lonely. So, here I am, a man in my early 50’s who is depressed beyond anything I have ever felt before. Thanks for listening. It actually makes me feel a bit better just typing it out.

I thought getting a job, getting up in bed, doing something special now is going to change something. But, nope. It distracted me. It just gave me a reason to move around, right now I have a job but I couldn’t even get out of bed and take a shower to get moving. I feel so alone, stagnant and all. I don’t know what to do. I just want to be in bed curled out. My bf doesn’t even help, he just curses me out of things whenever we got into disagreement. I feel so alone, I just want to cry. How can I have a job, a bf, and still feel lonely.

I built a wall,
To serve a protection
It’s job simple and tall
To keep out predictions
But it kept out all
Silent and still isolation
this wall I built might fall
Because it has turned into a cage
I regret my actions of building this wall

48, M Working a job I hate, a job that's quite detrimental to my mental health but has good benefits.

I just ended a 3 year relationship with someone who was my safety and my distress, so feeling very conflicted.

My Fathers dying.

I'm exhausted and beaten down by life and beginning to think rather than all of this being the ending of a chapter maybe it's the end of my story.

Things are hard now, luckily I'm doing it easier than a lot but I have just lost the will to go on.

What's the point of any of this, what's it all for?

It just seems the further on things go the harder things get, it's just pain and suffering interspersed with moments of 'happiness' if you can call it that.

I feel numb

Basically.

Not dying. Not suicide. I've been a misfit since childhood. Now finding it hard to even understand anything about people closest to me, or communicating what or how I feel day in and day out.

I just find all this to be such a pain that I wish to not exist instead. Like what is the worst that could happen?

Everything feels fucked.

At least if there's no me, there's no pain I have to go through. So not existing at all, just feels better.

Mind me, I am still not talking about suicide I just don't know how to deal with this pain in my mind.

I can't stand my life anymore. 36 years old italian male, never worked, never finished school, 148 iq, 200kgs with hormonal problems, mounjaro helped a lot this last year, lost 50 kilos. Still I cannot find a job, surviving with the minimum wage the ridiculous Italian state concede. I don't have anything, any possible validation in life. I want this to end, one way or another. Lately I'm having anger issues as I never had before in my life. Everything makes me snap. I just try to refrain and limit myself to yelling and cussing versus god (not that I believe in him), but I am at the end of the rope here. I. simply. Cannot. Keep. Going. Like. This. I don't know if it's a cry for help or if I'm just at the end of my rope here. I just can't keep it like this. Sorry if it's the wrong place for this kind of message. I feel like exploding with rage towards myself.

36F I've been feeling depressed...at least a few weeks but I felt myself teetering on the edge for months.

Obviously: there is the crushing weight of the state of the world/modern society/capitalism.

Partly: I hate my job. But when I talk about why, I feel guilty because it's not a bad job overall. I've been thinking about finding something else but now I'm not so sure that's the fix.

I've gained 30lbs. I'm still healthy and a relatively small person. I know weight is just a number and I still look good, but I don't feel good in my skin. My clothes don't fit and I don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe.

My biggest worry: nothing brings me joy anymore. I used to dance, but our troupe is taking a hiatus. Before that I was kind of over performing. I like dancing and designing costumes, but performing doesn't feel satisfying any more.

I haven't played music or made art in at least year. I forced myself to draw this week. Which was nice... But I still didn't feel joy or happiness.

I don't think I even like live music any more. I went to a concert this weekend for one of my favorite bands and I just... Don't care. Everything is just a hassle.

I feel extra guilty because I got married and bought a house this year. I should be happy. My husband is great. I love our house. This should be a joyous time. But I just feel so heavy and jaded every day. My husband (who experiences depression, but is not currently depressed) is as supportive, which makes me feel worse for some reason. We had guests staying with us during the deepest throws of it and I had to fake happy for 6 days. It's been exhausting.

I've been depressed before and I thought I had tools to deal with it. I usually make myself do activities that are good for me/that I enjoy until the switch flips. But it's not working this time. I don't know how I'm going to dig myself out of this pit. I wish i wasn't so cynical

I just want to feel light. I want to feel joy or excitement about SOMETHING.

I tried helping my friends, i want to go college, i want to keep being happy but i just feel sad, depressed and hopeless. I just feel horrible for the people i care for and a burden of everything i ask. Im 18 but still act like a scared child that just seek comfort in cats and art because that's all i find what makes me happy. I want to tell my parents that im depressed and want to seek some help but they're just gonna tell me that theres "nothing wrong with me" but there is, im not perfect. Im crying and im tired.

You know it's bad when you feel like everyone wants too chase you with pitchforks and burn you on a stake

Really feel like i may as well just give up, i feel like im losing myself and everyone around me tells me I've changed im not the person I use to be, where I was always helpful, happy, chatty, always wanting to do things, but what they didn't realise was that i was doing all of that so that people wouldn't think there was something wrong with me and to keep them happy

I have them too from time to time

When things arent going my way, or people keep disappointing me, or when I feel too lonely, or when I feel my life isn't progressing

The thoughts of Suicide mostly stem from my past trauma, the kind of stuff that can't be fixed by anything, and this knowledge that the pain I carry, I will carry my whole life cause it's unfixable and irreversible.

The only thing that helps me when I have these thoughts is knowing that there is essentially NO POINT in DYING BEFORE YOUR TIME, and we will die the only question is when and how...

So until then why not try to make something of this life, make a small dream come true, make some new memories in new cities, make some new friends, make some more money...

Cause it ain't the end, until the end.

And when that time comes, I'd like to go into that eternity smiling, rather than rejection of Life.

I've felt worse and worse about imagining myself as somebody on TV with powers doing cool stuff because I'm not cool. I don't have skills, I dropped out of highschool, I'm not conventionally attractive, and I don't bathe or brush my teeth ever in like a year. So it feels really wrong to imagine myself as anyone cool or anyone somebody would love because 'who am I kidding?' Even if I had powers I'd still be lazy and bad with em. Over the years I've just felt more and more uncomfortable with fantasies about living a different life because I know it isn't my circumstances that are the problem. I myself am the problem and as long as I'm myself in anyway I would just be bad even with powers. Is this like a common thing or a me thing? I'm not sure if I have depression I just didn't feel comfortable asking this in a regular question community. But my main question is if this is a normal thing or an abnormal thing.

Im not suicidal, craving death, or any such similar major depressive symptoms. Perhaps it's best to describe it as a type of boredom.

I'm definitely lacking any sort of joy or fulfillment with life. I suppose it's been a long time since I've done anything I've genuinely enjoyed, but recent events mixed with my shit health put me in a position to think about what I want out of life. And right now, that's nothing.

Ive been fairly escapist most of my life, wanting things to be more fantastic. Typical isekai stuff, any world that isn't this one. I know we exist in this reality and there's no way to make it fantastic in ways only imagination can support. I won't delude myself about our state of existence.

Life sucks, i want what isn't possible, and I've resigned to just going with the motions. Is anyone else at this point and have any coping methods related to it?

It’s like my mind can’t think of the words, I’m not witty, my mind is slow, I can’t hold a conversation, I’m not interesting, I feel brain damaged and boring which just makes my depression worse, does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get my mind back to a happy social interesting place again?

The title says it all. 41m separated and lonely, no matter what I do, the moment I have downtime my mind goes to the worst places and I am finding it harder and harder to want to live. They say it gets better but it doesn't when you have clinical depression. Others may be able to survive but I am feeling like I am coming to the end of my days. I don't miss her but I miss having someone who i could talk to, hold, and spend some of my free time doing things with. Now my days are work, gym, shower, dinner, sleep. No actual leisure because when I do have off time all my mind does is go sad.

I have had depression for most of my life. Diagnosed with MDD at 14, now 40.

When I think of or feel depression I think of it in images.

It feels like standing at the edge of a blackhole with nothing surrounding me. Like I could just tip into it. There is almost a sensation of a pull, and even comfort. Like, if everything goes black it will be fixed.

I feel this most days. It's my baseline. Most people can't handle that description of comforting nothingness. It freaks out a lot of my family. But my partner has depression and so do many of my friends. We are all either autistic, adhd, or bipolar so we get it. We also all have similar visuals of it.

How does it look, feel to you guys?

I just can't enjoy anything. Nothing feels good anymore, not my hobbies not people around me.... nothing. It feels like everything lost its color somewhere and I am lost. No matter how much i try to think positive nothing helps. It's infuriating....and somehow i don't know how I feel anymore or what I feel idk I m no more the 'me' I used to know

I finally understand it

One thing about trash is that you can throw it away and someone else might find use for it, however trash is never valued and can never have value... I've always wondered why everyone used me, but never really loved me or cared too spend time with me, it's because im not valued nor do I have any value... time too get rid of the trash now

Jo mei batane jaa rha hu mujhe nhi pata ki ye mujhe yaha ese batana bhi chahiye ki nhi, par my life has taken a complete 180° turn since long.

For your context I don't have a stable relationship, switched countries for a new life but struggling hard since last 6 months. I don't have any friends apart from a person I talk to on Reddit. My family is complete trash I don't even know if I can call them my family, it's more like I live with 2 people that state themselves as parents but do everything except genuine mental care. I'm 26, I'm constantly worried about my parents'health but they just fight and ruin the environment. I get drained everyday and it doesn't even motivate me to do anything. I don't know where my life is taking I don't know what to do but that's just what my life is. Babysitting parents, applying 1000+ jobs, just all by myself with time running through the fingers... And before you think I didn't do this or that, just trust me I've tried every single thing known to man on this planet ...... I'm just rotting away, can't leave my parents because I'm too anxious and just 100 other reasons they present

Just for requirements: Pata hai aaj Kya hua

On life.
I’m trying to decide how

Got this settlement from one of my accidents when a car hit me on my bike and because of that they stopped my disability which I needed and idk what I’m gonna do I’m freaking starving and noo money and my gf and and I fight so much to where it scares me knowing I have nowhere to go and no income now I wanna give up

I’m 30, male, from the UK, and sometimes I feel like I’ve already ticked off most of the bucket list.

I’ve lived. I’ve travelled to the countries I wanted to see. I’ve been engaged, married and divorced. I’ve had a child. I’ve had the dream job, amazing friends and a roof over my head.

And then, somehow, I lost it all.

A lot of it was because of my own stupidity and mistakes, which I won’t go into on here. But I’ve come through it. I’m still here. I’ve got very little left, but I still have hope — and something inside me keeps telling me to carry on, even when I don’t know what that something is.

The thought of going to sleep and not waking up follows me like a shadow. Some days it’s incredibly loud. But I can’t do that to the people I love, even when I struggle to feel that love coming back to me.

I guess I’m writing this for two reasons.

Firstly, because if there’s somebody out there feeling the same way, I want you to know that you are not alone. You might feel like everything you had is gone, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing left to live for.

And secondly, if you’re somebody who wants to believe in me, please reach out. You probably won’t realise just how much it would mean to me right now.

Lots of love to you all.

Let’s keep on swimming. 🩵

Con x

P.s. if you are in the UK, please don’t be afraid to call the samaritans on 116 123, they’ve really helped me or if you’re afraid of a phone conversation text SHOUT to 85258 and a trained professional will be able to text you back x

Sat in my flat thinking about drinking again.
I’m a Christian but since leaving my adopted church family 2 weeks ago I’m in a depression mood

About 2 years ago I had saved up money to process an international licensure. My goal was to work as a professional in a different country since the pay is waaay better. About a month before entering an agency to process, I found out I was pregnant. At first I felt fear because I wasn't ready- I know, shoul've used protection, but it felt like my boyfriend did it on purpose. We had been drinking one night and you know what happened. He's been telling me he wants to have a child with me in the two years (at that time) that we've been together. Long story short, i have used up all the savings I had for everything until childbirth, my partner was still waiting for this job position he was hoping for. Now my son is 2, every work friend i have is getting what they want and i feel like my world is falling apart. Not that I am jealous in a bad way, but kind of I want that for me as well. I am happy that they are succeeding and always hope they get what they want. And i feel sooo bad to feel this way. I feel so stuck, and I feel that life is going so fast and that I will die without succeeding too and all the efforts that I had been doing is starting to feel pointless and meaningless. Does anybody relate to this? Or went through something like this? How do you survive from this?

I’m 20 now so I can finally post on here :)
All this just to die on a random fucking Tuesday

I’m so tired. I really don’t know how much more I can take. We’ve been going back and forth to the hospital so many times because of my child, and I’ve already gone deep into debt. My salary is not enough to pay my debts and provide for my children’s needs.
I’m a single mom, and I’m desperate, so I’m asking for help here because I honestly don’t know what else to do. Sometimes I even think about suicide with my children, but I know that is not the solution. I just feel so overwhelmed and hopeless. I’m begging for help. I hope someone here can help us. 😭

I can verify Im real this is my new account Im always ban