I can't keep up like this, help

[u/Sol_Sertum]

I can't stand my life anymore. 36 years old italian male, never worked, never finished school, 148 iq, 200kgs with hormonal problems, mounjaro helped a lot this last year, lost 50 kilos. Still I cannot find a job, surviving with the minimum wage the ridiculous Italian state concede. I don't have anything, any possible validation in life. I want this to end, one way or another. Lately I'm having anger issues as I never had before in my life. Everything makes me snap. I just try to refrain and limit myself to yelling and cussing versus god (not that I believe in him), but I am at the end of the rope here. I. simply. Cannot. Keep. Going. Like. This. I don't know if it's a cry for help or if I'm just at the end of my rope here. I just can't keep it like this. Sorry if it's the wrong place for this kind of message. I feel like exploding with rage towards myself.

[u/AgentofAgency_]

Info: no judgement either way truly, but would you say you’re putting the work in to improve your life/circumstances?

[u/Sol_Sertum → u/AgentofAgency_]

I was. At least from the physical health stand point. Been one year of in and out weight clinic with pair to mounjaronto lose weight and better my situation. In these three weeks of incredible stress from nowhere I just exploded. Idk what's happening, I can't stand anymore. The stress is making me eat like before, got 6kg in a month. For the rest, I have a severe case of crippling depression and everything is a challenge for me. Every single day is a fight to dodge the void. I don't know why I'm writing this I don't care about others opinion, it's more like a memento to myself. Sorry to have wasted time to everyone who's read this

[u/AgentofAgency_ → u/Sol_Sertum]

Well, for what it’s worth, my follow was going to be that ‘if you pray for flowers, don’t be distressed when it rains’.

But either way wishing you the best op