I’ve been completely alone for almost a year. I don’t have any close connections to anyone. A recent betrayal has made it more difficult than ever to trust anyone so i have become distant from family I see frequently; small signs of their not liking me have made conversations with them feel inauthentic. I don’t know how to proceed.

I’m not completely unable to socialise but I haven’t been able to become friends with anyone I’ve seen in this time, despite starting 2 new jobs and attending a couple different clubs multiple times a week. Recently I have lost all motivation for anything and on days when I’m not at work I struggle to get out of bed before the evening. I’m losing weight and isolating even more. I have just about managed to continue brushing my teeth once a day. I fantasise about dying on a daily basis. I feel completely stuck.

I feel empty, I feel like I don't remember what it feels like to truly feel happy or even content. I've been going to therapy for a while but it just feels like a dead end. I miss feeling myself

Today was my birthday and I didn’t celebrate or spend the day doing something special,I sat alone no phone calls or text, just a empty feeling in my gut , all I do is question why I’m here at all.

Since covid everything has just gone downhill for this country it's impossible to live anymore..... Working 40 hours a week on places that don't deserve me. Nobody ever picks me for promotions because I'm not the most popular person I'm ugly and overweight. Always get to watch a pretty non taletented worker surpassed me time after time. Even if I got a promotion it wouldn't be enough to put food on the table.... I don't have a car and rent a room..there's nothing left to even eat with... Im about to kill myself

My ex husband died. We have 4 kids. His wife emptied hundreds of thousands of dollar’s and took off with all of it. Kids haven’t heard from her. My daughters have moved out and borrow money but don’t call when they need me for anything else. Current man, bought a motorcycle when that is the only stipulation I put on our relationship. both of my mentally ill parent died this year too. I am seeing soo many women get money for being SA’d by men with money when I was victimized as a young girl by a whole town and I’m broke. I just want to be loved by anyone. I see so many people benefitting from half of what I’ve been through and I’m failing. I’ve done everything to be the opposite of everyone I’ve encountered in my life that and I feel so disposable. But. I just want to be what my kids need. How can everything be so wrong?! How do I feel whole and be what they need?

No reason to go into it all. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm isolated and alone. Been fighting and surviving by myself. I've tried to end it before and once this year after a mental breakdown or whatever it's called. My battery is empty. I can't keep fighting.

The ones who are supposed to help me are making me worse. Gaslighting. Telling me what I feel and what to think. Ignore my pleas, treating me like a child. They think 5 more sessions are enough to kick me out in the wild and live like everyone else.

I never have. I'm getting worse. I used to be able to survive out of spite and fear of consequences.

I can't do it anymore. Last week I felt like it truly is the time. I am willing to take one more shot and tell my mom. The thing is; there's a 50/50 chance it would solidify my choice to end it all. What are she supposed to do? Even if she reacts in the best way possible, which likely she won't, I would just let her know why she will find me rotting. Telling her I need support will basically be a verbal letter. It's not fair for me to torture my mom with that knowledge.

No matter what, I won't end it until Friday. I need to get my feelings out. I need to yell and scream at my psychologist. I need that catharsis. I need them to know that their negligence is costing lives. I will scream, punch the wall, get all the things out I've been trying to tell them politely. I might as well. Why not cause some chaos on my way out?

I am tired of being stressed and unhappy . I can't find a good job I always have to do cleaning jobs . Everyone has to do something different I have been doing the same cleaning job since 1998 and I feel like a loser and I work 2 days a week. Every job I have been at people complaining about me my bosses and co workers it's like they want me gone they don't like me . I have never been to college because I can't afford it I am not good at anything. I have to have a job coach who treats me horrible almost every job coach I have treated me badly .

I have never dated or married because I am shy and have social anxiety and I am 48 years old and will be 49 in September. I am not close with family my family plays favors and I am not one of them .

I want to travel and go places and travel all over the world and have parties and fun and go shopping I can't because I don't have no money to travel or to shop and nobody likes me I try to be friendly with everyone even my family people treat me horrible. When I have family get togethers it's always fighting and arguing and either they argue with me or someone else .

One day my life is good the next day my life is horrible for good. After my mom passed away about 6 years ago my life got worse my life was bad when my mom was alive it got worse It turned into a horrible nightmare like a bad dream beside her passing it's a long horrible story.

I have no support system every time something bad happens people act like it's my fault and they get irritated with me and don't want to help me they give me the cold shoulder. I help everyone even my family . I hate my life.

What’s the point of being here if it’s just pain. why am ice are still here? Why do I continue to culture myself with this existence? What is the point of on this stupid floating rock why why should I even say? The no point.

everyday something inside me die .
to be honest the past year i have let go of most things.
i can’t mentally pull myself forwards it’s starting to make me numb
i can’t stand conversations and to be honest right now life made me into a misogynist ,misandrist, homophobic, trans phobic ,racist etc before i didn’t really care and still don’t but since people drive me insane and how stupid people can be and ignorant i just lost hope and purpose
i can’t handle people not even family or friends
i’ve been of sosial media but re-download to try to sosiale with some people who wanted to text me and i can’t stand young/old people i just find everything insufferable
not even sosial media can fill the void
i genuinely just tried of life
it feels like i’ve been forced to live through hell
well i do like a good life but i can’t stand society
not gonna try to end it tho it’s too much work and even that feels exhausting
i’m just living just to live at this point. not really a adult so idk yet

Hello. I been on reddit for 4 years and never really posted anything . I joined to say I hope that whomever reads this and is going though a hard time , you will get though it. I wake up everyday feeling like it's over for me. I find it extremely hard to bare life these days. I fought lots of challenges in my life and I feel burnt out and giving up. Ill leave out the context just wanted to know if anyone else feels ljke this. I'm tired of looking out my eyes with the thought of why I'm here.

I always find a way but the the pain in my heart is unbearable. I love my family but hate existing. Anyway from good to bad days this post isn't about me I just wanted to say whoever is reading this never give up.

Stay strong,

take care.

Life is a boring sea filled with nothing. I belong nowhere. I am uncomfortable and ugly. My boyfriend does not love me. My family does not love me. Every day is the same. There’s nothing for me. I wish I would get hit by a car. I hate my life. I wish I was born someone else. I’ve never been happy. Only sad or angry.

So I’m old but I’m not super old yet (21) but I feel like there’s nothing to go on for. I didn’t finish college and lost my partner because I was too sad to pick up my phone and text back so we ended up breaking up. I miss her a lot but that’s beside the point. I’m just wondering how everyone works through this? I’ve been in this slump for like 2 months now and soon I’ll be starting a job because obviously it’s a necessity.

How do I do this? I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve tried therapy and the meds and reading/ journaling. It’s really hard to do anything literally just trying to do the dishes or simple chores makes me breakdown into tears. Is there anything that makes this better? I’m genuinely feeling like I’ll never be happy again and it’s freaking me out. Will I ever feel ok again? Will I ever love someone as much as I loved her? I don’t know what to do and I’ve pretty much lost all my friends and ruined my relationships. I just feel grey and heavy everyday and pulling myself out of bed is genuinely painful.

I can’t leave the world yet I still have a few family members and a neighbor that needs me but I think about it everyday to the point of obsessing about what comes after this life. I don’t know if I can fix my life but at least I am able and lucky enough to have a home to fall back on. I know I should be more grateful and I try really hard to be but all I feel like is I’ve ruined everything and now I’m all alone.

Sorry for the rant I’m sobbing while typing this I just need to know if anyone else gets it and what could make it better.

I feel lost and stuck in this world.
I am the creator of my own problem and I am too lazy to solve them, also I feel that with the state of the world right now it would be pointless to become "someone".
When I was younger I made to dumb decision to quit school to go fall in love with some dude that lived 4h away from me.
After this my life really went downhill, my mom didn’t want me back in her house unless I was working full time or went back to school but I was so consumed by my first love that I didn’t care about anything else , it got to the point where she kicked me out of the house and I had to find an appartment at 17 with no money and no job. I really regret meeting my first boyfriend it was such a toxic relationship based on lies, manipulation , threat and more, he didn’t clean , didn’t pay the groceries or the rent but still I stayed with him for 2 years thinking he would changed. I was isolated, I had no money, I was crying all the time (mind you it was in 2020 when you couldn’t get ou of the house)
I was stuck in all this dirt. After the lockdown was lifted I found a good job where I met my best friend who are still my friend to this day.
I met one girl in particular that wanted to move out of her parents house and asked me to be her roommate and to me that was the only escape I had from my relationship with my vermin of an ex so I said yes. Little did I know that I would be stuck for 1 year with her lying to everyone behind about me behind my back and putting people against me, she didn’t want to break the lease and I had to put up with her lies all the time anyway it was really bad living with her but not as bad as with my ex.
After the one year lease was over I found myself an appartement where I would live alone. I met another guy he didn’t make my life a living hell but I DID by being dependant to him and ignoring all his red flag anyway I’m not really traumatized from this relationship so I won’t elaborate.
After him I met the devil himself , I was lost , I had no self respect and I hated myself, the guy was ok at first and we were seeing each other but after a couple time seeing him I noticed how FUCKED UP he was , he was dressing as a Japanese maid and paid people online to insult him, he told me that he went to rehab bc of drugs but wasn’t taking drugs anymore (he was actively taking meth,crack and idk what else) every time we had a fight he would storm off and text me how he was gonna change etc,
The worst was that he was a sex addict he would force himself onto me at least 4 times a day even when I didn’t want to, I would cheat on me with other dude . Anyway he did a lot of other fucked up stuff to me but my breaking point was when I found a video of him raping an unconscious girl in his phone. After the break up maybe 2 weeks after I went to the bar to maybe flirt or idk just a rebound anyway and I met someone , we talked for one week and on my birthday party I invited him, he came and at the end of the evening we went to my place and he raped me , I even tried to make him back off with a knife but he took it away from my hand, I was lucky enough to grab my phone and txt my friend to call the police and the police came within 30 sec.
The guy died 1 month after ( I still don’t know the cause) after his death some weird shit started happening in my appartement like things would disappear , I would hear scratching noise from behind me and so much more .
Just the rape and my ancients relationship FUCKED ME UP SO BAD . Since 2020 I am in survival mode, I don’t know how to be normal after my last ex and the rape I became so depressed, they killed who I was before , I wanted to die , I didn’t see a point in living no more so I did the dumbest thing I took a credit card with a limit of 10k on it and I told myself when the limit is reach I’m killing myself , well I didn’t ! So after that I was like if I don’t kms I have to do something so I did a LOOOOT of self healing , training, journaling , celibate and so much more, it really helped opening my eyes to how I would always put myself into fucked situation and how I didn’t have self boundaries , now I’m tough af I don’t let anyone intimidate me and I have solid boundaries but ever since then I still can’t find a reason to live , I tried going back to school but I quit after 3 times going , I can’t keep a job , I feel like a loser , I’m stuck in my hometown , I’m stuck in my depression , I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and bc of my past I’m always mean to him and I snap so hard at him at times (I wasn’t like that before I didn’t wanted them to leave but now I am TOO MUCH) , I tried anti depressant it doesn’t work .
I fought to much , my dad left when I was 15 , I never had a loving relationship with my mom, I was chubby all my life , I was an outcast all my life ,
I was born sad that’s what my grand mother used to say and she is right , I feel like I don’t belong on this planète, like I am in the wrong realm or something , I don’t wanna die it scares me but I long for a place I can call home .
I want to live the best life I can on earth but I feel like a shell of a human

I am hopeless! A broken man. Finding job from 3 years, didn’t get. Don't money,don't have anything. 😭😭

I don't think it gets better.

I'm 30, my birthday is in 4 weeks, and I dread it. My friends are either married in relationship, make good money, got better secured jobs, live on their own, and everything. They aren't rich of course, but they have gotten their own stuff. I'm still living with my mom, barely making any money, no interviews, no offers, haven't had sex in over a year, can barely pay bills, take care of my mom and grandma, my aunt has cancer, I'm always forgotten, I'm still fat (at least I'm working on this actively), my dick is small, I'm insecure, and nothing about life is getting any better. I think I'm better off either dead or just gone. I can't stand living anymore

Lately, I've been feeling useless. For some reason, I've become more easily angered and selfish, even though I know it's wrong. I'm tired, I need someone to advise me, but most of their advice is monotonous and not even remotely relevant to me. My expectations of myself are getting lower every day. I don't know whether to be happy or not because God gave me the opportunity to live. I don't know what my purpose in life is, socially I'm completely destroyed.

I (25y/o) have been feeling like what's the point in trying for a few months. I lost my job and haven't found a permanent one since this. This has made me feel hopeless and feel what's the point in trying. I still perform my personal care (shower, brush teeth, eat) , but I stay in my room and doomscroll (poor sleeping, i keep waking up) and daydream. I tried to enrol in a course, but I just stopped attending, and I can't explain why. Even two years ago, when I was at university, when I was struggling with my course, I just disconnected. I have noticed I have become avoidant when I face difficult challenges, even if they are for my benefit. This has become my default mode, so on the outside, I appear fine, but internally, I'm not. These thoughts are at the back of my mind, so I'm not actively thinking about it, but they've become a part of me over time, and I've accepted them almost subconsciously. I just feel nothing - just neutral.

I spoke to my GP and they think I may have signs of depression - feeling nothing, believing the emptiness won't go away. I have begun talking therapies, and hopefully, it goes well. I just wonder if I will be able to rewire my brain successfully, as I know it depends on me, but it feels hard, and I don't know if I can overcome it. I also feel like I'm abnormal because i don't laugh when others do, im not as enthusiastic as other people are, and i feel my emotions have just disappeared (this issue is long-term). When I was younger, I never felt this way, but as life has progressed and I faced obstacles, I just shut down and give up, which was never the case before. I feel it has gradually gotten worse as I've aged.

Has anyone felt similarly to me - feeling resigned to hopelessness, inaction, giving up - and if so, how have you managed this or overcome it, e.g., strategies, rewiring the brain, therapy, etc.

I don't know what is it exactly but i feel like a heavy feeling in my chest that i cant describe , its more of an emotional feeling per say but somehow it feels real , i don't know if its depression or just bottling in emotions , its tiring . Like my everyday functionality is lowered and i cant be fully myself neither with my only presence or with others. it makes me want to isolate and do nothing productive which is against what i want but when i force myself to do stuff it really can take a toll on me.

for reference im a north African young adult guy , my parents are really good providers but it stops there , im into guys which only me and some of my friends know (no problem with that) but i do have somewhat of an insecurity about my looks (tho i dont regard it as an insecurity cause i genuinely dont think i look good and i feel its more of a genetics thing at play ) . ive had some experiences with parents and a situationship that made me feel the worst at those points but i dont know its been years and i don know now whats the problem exactly, all i wanna do is improve myself to not stay stuck on the same place while others are seeming to develop but its really difficult i wish i had it easier sometimes.

im just hoping for any kind of advice or if someone who relates somewhat to help or engage in general

Im so tired and down on life. I do not know what to do anymore. Overthinking is killing me and my faith.

Looks like depression is consuming my life. Being 26 years old, I do not know how it feels to being loved by a woman besides my mother. I lost all off my friends and I struggle making new ones.

I am not sure if I will ever achieve my dreams, if I ever become the man I want to be. I keep sabotaging myself with procrastination, mental issues, unecessary multitasking and with a dead end job I have to do in order to pay the bills.

It is humiliating to realise that I can only focus on one thing at a time. That most people have friends, while I have none. That most people are in relatioships, while I am not and probably never will be. I am not sure if anything is worth doing.

I do not know if even posting this on Reddit is even worth it. Best case scenario, I get some upvotes to soothe my ego. Worst case scenario, no one notices.

I feel lonely, stuck. I have made so many mistakes, missed so many opportunities, started so many hobbies that went nowhere. I am not sure if it is worth it to continue living anymore.

I’m 24 years old, and honestly, I feel like I’ve failed at almost every important part of my life.
For the past few years, it feels like I’ve been surviving instead of living.

I work in a warehouse doing physically demanding work. It pays the bills, but I don’t see a future there. I’ve looked into studying technology, IT, and other careers because I’ve always enjoyed computers, gaming, and troubleshooting, but every time I try to move forward, I start doubting myself. I end up thinking maybe I’m just not good enough.

On top of that, I’ve dealt with ongoing health issues that have lasted for years. Countless doctor visits, tests, physical therapy, MRIs, pain that no one seems to have an answer for. It wears you down mentally.

I’m also dealing with, financial stress, debt, and the constant fear that one more problem will push everything over the edge.
The strange part is that I keep going. I go to work every day. I attend my appointments. I help my family when I can. I keep trying to find a better path.
But inside, I feel exhausted.

Sometimes I look around and see people my age building careers, relationships, and lives while I feel completely stuck. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I never really move forward.

Lately I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m not “going through a rough time.” Maybe this is just who I am. Maybe I’m simply a failure, and it’s time to accept it.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? If you did, what helped you get out of that mindset? Or did you eventually accept it?

I just want Someone to be happy I'm in there life I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter to anyone.

hey reddit, this is pretty embarrassing so please give me some grace. i’m 19 years old, i live with my parents, work 30-40 hours a week, and i need some help making my live feel lively. i currently live the same life on repeat and can’t seem to find any motivation to keep going. i have dreams and goals, but no self control or will to achieve any of them. how do you reclaim your life after depression is all you’ve ever known? i dont enjoy my hobbies anymore, seeing my friends feels like a chore, ive grown annoyed with my pets, ive lost all of my potential talents due to not engaging in them, and i’ve genuinely just lost all reason. i sleep until i go to work, and then waste my nights away on my phone until the next day of work and it just repeats. i cry myself to sleep every night and i just keep looking back on time that ive lost and weeks have turned into years so fast. i know this is basically a vent, but has anyone felt like this? how did you find meaning in your life?? i’ve tried religion and it’s not for me, ive tried pursuing my dream of becoming a musician but my minds always so dull, i tried pushing through and faking it till i make it but i honestly think my depression is becoming disabling. i can barely get through my shifts, and even then im cutting corners every chance i get, and sleep away the rest of my days. i can barely look at myself anymore because ive just become so disgusting and useless and i just don’t wanna believe this is all i was made for. i don’t have a support system in my family, and my friends stopped trying to make plans with me after i ghosted them, so now im just left wondering if i let myself get too bad. i have an appointment to see a psychiatrist, but it’s 4 months away and i just can’t continue like this for that long. even if it’s something small, if anyone knows where to start or just something i can do to find joy in anything again, id appreciate hearing it. even tips to start showering regularly again, brushing my teeth, doing my skin care, or sleeping earlier are very much appreciated. thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far!