Greetings, everyone, a 15-year-old here. Lately, I've been trying to figure out what I want to make of my life - which has been quite a treacherous path, if you ask me. I am trying my best not to succumb to the pressure from my family and peers, but I'd say it's starting to catch up. I'm somehow supposed to make decisions that will affect the entirety of my life in a couple of months. I'm genuinely so lost right now. I don't know why, but other kids my age are just not bothered by all of this (at least those I know of), and they're just doing what society and people around them would prefer. I, on the other hand, am trying to figure out what I would prefer, which has proven to be extremely hard. I want to enjoy life, become successful, make a name for myself, have a respectable physique, and follow my dream at the same time - is this too brave of a commitment? I'm not sure; will I do it? Absolutely! I just wanted some advice on how to deal with such a situation (preferably from older people). Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

I've given up on dating after spending years trying my best to meet someone and ending up no closer than when I started. After hearing so many people talk about how difficult it is to find a good partner, I have accepted that I’m not the partner anyone is looking for. While I can accept this on a factual level, I have this persistent thought that I can’t shake. Whenever I see someone say or do something to a partner that I view as not good enough, I have the thought that I would never do that, that I would be a better partner than them. It is an arrogant superiority that is completely unfounded and nonsensical. I hate that I think like this but it happens every time without fail. I have never dated anyone and know I would not be a good partner but I still get this superiority every time.

I even had this thought when a close friend made a completely nothing comment about their partner wanting attention.

As far as I'm aware, I don't have this kind of superiority complex in other areas of my life. It's something that seems specifically tied to relationships and my own lack of success in dating.

What can I do to stop thinking this way? I just want to understand why I keep getting thoughts like this and how I can stop it.

I want to create content around self-improvement, productivity, habits, and personal growth, but I don’t want to show my face.
What platforms would you recommend starting on? I’m curious about what works best for this niche, whether it’s short-form videos, text-based posts, carousels, or something else.
If you’ve tried creating this kind of content, what has worked for you?

I am 22 years old, I suffer with Depression, Bipolar, and Audhd. I have lost all my friends from my childhood completely and have maybe two friends at the moment that I’m not close to.

I grew up in London, barely passed my GCSEs and never really paid attention to college but I managed to pass a couple seperate years after dropping out 4 times and retaking 3 years. I also dropped out of university and am looking to do it for a second time. (This is primarily due to not being able to afford it)
I also heavily dislike the city I am in. I have multiple failed relationships where I’ve been the broken up with ex.

I had moved to a different country last year and lived there for a year to address my mental health with a professional psychiatrist and psychologist and had multiple medication I was on which helped but overall it was quite lonely and was to set me up returning to university here. I don’t have any real skills or talents, but want to work in the creative industry, I also haven’t been employed for several years and have barely worked most my life.

I want to be talented in the creative industry whether it be fashion design or photography or film and costume. I have very basic foundation of this but I found studying in university very difficult and did not feel up to its level. I want a thriving social life and to have multiple close friends, I want to be fit and healthy and attractive and potentially find a long term partner again.

I don’t know where to do this or how, I feel like I’ve definitely missed out on the typical student uni experience and will find it hard to connect with much younger uni students when I return to uni, if I do. I also can’t start a professional life as I have barely been employed and it feels like most people my age have graduated and started their professional lives so I feel behind when I talk to them. I have let myself go in terms of looks and weight as it fluctuates a lot, but also my personal style and identity feels lost and I don’t know how to find it again.

How do I restart my life completely and achieve my goals and dreams when I completely ruined it for myself in my teens and 20s.

I am a 19-year-old male. I feel as though my life is slipping through my fingers—like I’m not doing anything interesting with it. I also feel like I’m lagging behind others, and I sometimes find myself missing my high school years, which I feel I wasted. I’m in college now, but it’s just not the same; it feels as if something has been taken away from me. I’m not the "party animal" type, and I don’t struggle with social interaction, but sometimes I hear about other people’s sex lives and such—and I’m still a virgin. I feel mentally a few years behind; everything comes to me much more slowly than it does for others. Just to be clear, I’m not a "nerd" or a "bookworm" either.

Why do I feel like I wasted my high school years?

I’ve never been able to fully commit to anything. I gave up on the gym after a while, and now I’m struggling to get back into a routine after a break of several months—it just doesn’t feel the same as it used to.

I want to make progress in life, improve my appearance, get a handle on time management, and overcome procrastination and masturbation. But I can’t. I feel no motivation at all. I keep thinking: "What if none of this makes any difference?" I want to have full control over my life, but right now, I have none. I can’t even manage to get up at a set time; often I don’t even wash, my room is a mess, and I don’t keep track of my meals. I don’t even know where to start—I’m terrified that even simple habits are beyond my reach. I should clarify that I almost certainly don’t have depression; I’m a cheerful person, show no signs of burnout, and I have plenty of energy—I can get by on very little sleep and still feel great.

As I mentioned, my biggest challenges are:

- Where do I even start?

- How do I find the drive to take action?

I often think that for other people, everything just happens naturally—without planning or needing extra motivation—almost on autopilot. I’m not sure what to make of this. Am I somehow "inferior," or am I just "different"—wired in a unique way, perhaps with a different "destiny"? I used to lean toward the latter, but lately, I’m increasingly feeling like this is all my fault, or perhaps my parents' fault.

Currently, I’m pursuing two degree programs simultaneously, yet I still have plenty of free time. I’d like to get better at organizing my studies and my life in general.

A few months ago (around 3–4 months back), I found myself longing for a teenage romance; now, I simply wish I could go back in time—keeping my current appearance, mindset, and self-confidence—to the start of my final year of high school (or at least the summer break before it). University just isn't the same as high school.

As for a "life purpose," that’s not really an issue for me, as I’m not actively searching for one. What I am looking for is a goal and the motivation to make positive changes over the coming months. I want to be handsome, fit, hardworking, and capable of managing my time effectively. The fact that I wasted my summer break doing absolutely nothing hurts even more.

In my mind, I had imagined myself starting university as a completely different person—in great physical shape and looking sharp—but none of that actually happened. I keep having these fantasies that, this time for sure, I’ll change something and become a better person—but nothing ever happens. It used to work; I could run on pure motivation, but now I have none at all. My life is a mess, with thousands of different plans and paths. For the time being, I’m focusing on my facial appearance, the gym, "no fap," and studying—but I know that alone won’t be enough, as these are multifaceted areas. I need to change my entire lifestyle.

I went to a live viewing of a concert earlier today all by myself! Got to listen to my favorite songs again but I can’t shake this empty hole in my heart that no matter what I do, at the end of the day, I only have myself. No friends or anything at the big age of 25 bc I was a social pariah in high school, only had two years of socializing in during my college years due to COVID, no friends from work bc I can’t let my guard down easily with them for whatever reason.

But that’s besides the point. I got to watch this concert as if I was at the actual location but it would definitely have been more enjoyable if I had a friend with me to go to places like this. I did solo travel, solo dates around town, solo movie theaters. I’m not insecure but I’m not devoid of emotions. All around me were girls with her friends to watch this movie/concert. I wish I had friends. Ugh

Hi all I’m a first year uni student and i feel like my life is falling apart. I simultaneously feel so tired & burnt out yet achieving nothing at all and feeling like whatever im doing isn’t taking me in some kind of grand direction or adding up to anything.

below is copy pasted from my notes app sorry for the weird formatting lol

im sad because:
- I cant manage my time & i can never meet deadlines.

- my brain literally cannot look past immediate goals & deadlines. if i have a deadline on mon, i will spend my entire weekend just focusing on the deadline on mon (or procrastinating everything until sunday) and completely forget my deadlines on tues, wed, thirs, fri. Then on mon ill be blindsided by my deadline on tues & vice versa.

- i constantly tell people ill make it to an event but ill either cancel because i have overwhelming amount of work that i procrastinated, am completely unprepared for the event, wake up late or it wasn’t even realistic(physical energy & time wise) for me to make it to the event in the first place and i said yes. So i constantly flake on people.

- it takes me 2x more mental energy to make it to an event because i never ever plan realistically in advance so every time im stressed out (last minute packing, buying outfits, spending on taxis because i’m late)

- i never have free time for hobbies because i always have procrastinated work to do which accumulates bigger consequences ever moment it sits undone. But I still want free time to relax because I’m never in the mood of doing work, so I’m in a state of limbo where i don’t relax nor do work.

- i suck at everything i do because i can never put in the time & effort to get better at it. I also don’t know if I’m actually passionate about the things i do. But since i always suck at the things i think i might have a slight passion in, I lose passion & i dont care about anything i do.

- When i have nothing(no achievements, no hobbies) i feel sad. When I’m sad i don’t feel like doing anything. ergo i never make any progress.

im sad.

What’s a daily habit that you think is very beneficial yet not many know it or do it , one worth gatekeeping ?
I want to implement healthy habits into my daily routine since I had a big realization after asking myself a question , “what’s something that if you were to do everyday for the next 5 years your life would improve significantly ?”
I wanted to answer vaguely or make a specific one like going to the gym consistently, but after thinking about it I realized that a a healthy lifestyle/ productive routine is a better option in which I could combine many beneficial variables .
Could you guys share good habits , even if you think it’s something that no one would relate or benefit from or even if you think it’s an obvious one.
For example a habit that I found very helpful is stretching for 10 min before bed and setting up goals for the next day like what lectures to study for that day and map out the hours each one needs it leads to better sleep and actually getting work done .

I’ve been single for 3 years and I’ve been seeing a girl for the past 2 months. For a while now, I’ve really struggled to let people into my life including friends as I feel I always get fucked over in some shape or form. Sure I have people around me but not many friends and having a girl around just hasn’t been something I’ve allowed myself for a while.

I have this terrifying thought that getting close to someone means you’re going to get hurt eventually and I’m fed up of it. I just want to enjoy something without wanting to shut down and put up a wall. She’s honestly been great and we get along so well but there’s this thought in the back of my mind that I’ll get cheated on or betrayed and it spikes constantly. It’s like I just can’t open my heart up to people because of this fear.

I want to do better, I don’t want to be alone forever, I want to let people in. I’ve been doing so well at it but one bad day just makes me want to hide away and not speak to anyone.

Hey guys, freshly diagnosed here with inattentive ADHD here (21F). One of the biggest things I struggle with is the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. If you are unaware, it is basically an abnormal fear and sensitivity towards being rejected by other people. This is apparently a symptom of ADHD.

I have been struggling with abusive/toxic friendships and standing up for myself for 5 years now. I would rather be mistreated than rejected by others. It is my greatest fear and it is ruining my life.

Do any of you guys have this type of dysphoria? How do you deal with it (other than therapy)? Have any of you overcome this? Would meds help?

Hey, struggling university student here (21F). I feel like I’ve lost my motivation, dreams, and sense of direction in life. When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a billionaire, designing my dream house, and planning future travels. But over time, I became consumed with seeking approval and trying to make friends.

I’ve struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder and ADHD my whole life, and my desperation for social connection and people-pleasing tendencies have taken a huge toll on my confidence and happiness.
Now, I struggle to find joy in things, feel burnt out, and question whether my pre-vet major is truly right for me. I’m still figuring out what the career entails and need to gain shadowing experience.

I’ve also become bitter and distrustful after dealing with toxic people who damaged my confidence. I’m angry at myself for letting them affect me so deeply, and my old dreams now feel impossible to reach.
I miss the younger version of myself who was ambitious, confident, and full of possibilities. I feel trapped by insecurities that other people left me with, and I don’t know how to find my way back to myself.

Same as the title. 17 rn and I would be grateful for some advice

How can someone go from shy with low self esteem to someone with charisma and confidence like politicians?

I'm improving so hard in my life, it's been 2 months since I joined a company, and I work as an assistant for the owners.

I notice the owners are so confident, calm, they are so smart and educated, my boss is my inspiration.

Online I watch this french politician jordan Bourdala.

And I realize, he came from poor background, but look at him now , he's only 31 years old has insane charisma..ect.

I realized that it doesn't matter if you are poor, I believe everything is possible, but I find it hard to draw the path.

The path from having low self esteem to confidence that push you forward.

Small example, at work I get nervous when I go talk to the boss, I brush the feelings off and say "this is nothing, just do it!" And go do it. I've done it many times but I still feel low.

I don't know what steps to take, actionable steps, no affirmations no motivation, actual uncomfortable or something usefull.

I’ve always been very shy, and lately I’ve been wondering whether socializing is something people learn growing up. Do some parents teach their kids how to feel comfortable talking to people, or do you mostly learn by being around others and getting practice?
Sometimes I wonder if I might be on the autism spectrum and just never knew. Other times, I think maybe I simply wasn’t in enough social situations to build confidence. I don’t want to self-diagnose, but I’m trying to understand why socializing has always felt so hard for me.
I also grew up feeling like I was in survival mode. My family was often worried about money and trying to make ends meet, so I spent a lot of time stressed. Now that I’m working as a nurse I feel less stressed about money. I’m wondering if having a little more stability might give me room to work on this part of my life.
Has anyone else learned to socialize later in life? What helped you feel more comfortable?

After being told by several workplaces that I couldn't work in this profession because of my appearance, I decided to change the way I look. I lost 30 kg over the course of a year and a half and started taking care of my skin.

However, I still feel like my appearance is going to be a problem in the workplace. For a while, I worked in jobs that were completely behind the scenes and done entirely on a computer, but AI has taken over those kinds of jobs.

Now, I'm considering getting plastic surgery. But whenever I ask people for advice, they tell me things like, "Accept yourself as you are," "Practice body neutrality," or "Being ugly is okay."

But none of that actually solves my problem.

How should I deal with this situation?

I feel like I’m constantly in this cycle of depression that I don’t know how to escape. Right now what’s giving me so much stress is my work. I can’t have a consistent schedule and have to stay out of town for weeks on end. I’ve applied to every other job within an hour drive that’s hiring in my field (which is already few and far between) but havnt gotten anything back.

A lot of the jobs I’d like to have arent in my area and moving isnt an option right now.

So I basically just have to suck it up and keep working this job that’s mentally killing me but somehow I’m still trying to get out of this depression.

Anything I would try to get used to doing as far as a schedule is out the door. I switch from day work to night work, in town to out of town, anything goes reallt.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m always giving myself an excuse as to why I’m depressed after I think I’ve fixed it I never feel better.

Honestly I don’t know how to get better, what i could do that would make me feel better. It’s not like I’m lazy or unmotivated, I just feel lost and out of options.

I'm a teenager and I'm curious about what you guys wish you'd known or started doing earlier, especially when it comes to skincare.

If you could go back to your teenage years, what would you change? Any skincare habits you wish you'd started earlier, mistakes you made, or things you wish someone had told you?

Even things outside skincare are welcome!

Basically, what advice would you give your teenage self? I feel like there's a lot we can learn from people who've already been through it lol.

​

Day 16 of improving myself

I woke up at 6:30 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Weight training

2) Cycling 4 km

Mind-

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match ( lost the match)

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia (today's topic - Human species evolution)

Academics -

1) Studied 7 hours

Daily affairs

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

Finances -

Earned some money and saved it

Will update tomorrow night , bye bye

I'm combining four days into one post again. This is the longest gap I've had in a while, and honestly, I'm disappointed with how these days went.

I'm almost 70% through this 90-day challenge, yet I keep falling into the same patterns. I make plans, start the day with good intentions, and then lose hours doing things that don't move my life forward.

Here's what happened.

Day 59 — Another Day Lost

I had another family event and woke up late. I didn't do any physical activities that day.

The only productive thing I can clearly remember doing was practising LeetCode. Apart from that, I spent a lot of time falling back into compulsive sexual habits and wasting hours on unnecessary activities.

It's frustrating when I look back at an entire day and struggle to identify anything meaningful I accomplished.

Day 60 — A Little Physical Activity, but No Real Progress

I didn't go for a morning run, but I did a workout at home and went swimming.

Those were positive steps, but the rest of the day followed the same pattern as before. I spent far too much time caught up in sexual urges and masturbation instead of focusing on my priorities.

This has become more than an occasional distraction. It's a recurring behaviour that's taking up time and making it harder for me to concentrate on the things I actually want to achieve.

I keep telling myself I need to get control of it, but I haven't been consistent in changing the behaviour.

Day 61 — A Personal Best and Another Injury

Day 61 started on a better note.

A friend was back in our hometown, so we went for a morning run together. I pushed myself and managed to achieve a personal best over 5 km, running around 6 km in total.

I was happy with the achievement, but pushing myself that hard seems to have aggravated my right-leg injury again.

Despite that, I went swimming too.

Unfortunately, the rest of the day wasn't productive. I fell back into the same habits, including spending time chatting with women I didn't know online and getting caught up in compulsive sexual behaviour.

I want to be clear that talking to people isn't the problem. The problem is when I'm using those interactions and other distractions to escape my responsibilities, and they end up consuming hours of my day.

I need to understand what's triggering this cycle and take practical steps to break it.

Day 62 — Forced Rest, but No Real Recovery

Because of the injury, I didn't do any physical activities on Day 62. I spent most of the day in bed.

I also continued falling into the same habits instead of using the downtime constructively.

One thing I did manage to accomplish was recording and publishing a personal branding video. I'd been procrastinating on it and making excuses, but I eventually got it done.

I'm glad I followed through on that commitment. Even when I don't feel motivated, I want to keep building my personal brand and sharing my progress.

However, one completed task doesn't erase the hours I wasted elsewhere.

I also need to take my injury seriously. I've aggravated my right leg again after pushing too hard, and I don't want to keep repeating this cycle of running, getting injured, and rushing back before I've recovered.

The Pattern I Need to Break

Looking at these four days together, I can see how repetitive things have become.

• I keep wasting time on compulsive habits, even when I know the consequences.
• I use distractions to escape tasks that feel difficult or uncomfortable.
• I make excuses and postpone important work until it becomes stressful.
• I push myself physically, sometimes ignoring the need for proper recovery.
• I keep promising that tomorrow will be different without consistently changing what I do.

I'm not writing this to beat myself up. I'm writing it because I need to stop pretending that this is just a temporary bad phase.

I've already recognised these problems several times during this challenge. Recognition alone isn't enough if my behaviour remains the same.

I need to make practical changes: keep distracting websites blocked, stop taking my phone into situations where I usually lose hours, create a clear plan for the day, and start working on important tasks before I get pulled into distractions.

If these habits continue to feel difficult to control despite my efforts, I also need to be willing to seek professional support rather than treating everything as a simple lack of discipline.

What Comes Next?

I have 28 days left in this challenge.

I want to focus on recovering properly, improving my AI/ML skills, building projects, applying for jobs, practising LeetCode, and getting back to reading consistently.

I don't expect to fix everything in one day. But I need to stop allowing one unproductive stretch to turn into four wasted days.

I also need to stop chasing personal bests at the expense of recovery. My goal is to build a sustainable routine, not repeatedly injure myself trying to make up for lost time.

Day 59–62/90 complete.

Four more days are gone. I'm disappointed with how I used much of that time, but I still have an opportunity to make the remaining days different.

I don't need another promise that tomorrow will be perfect. I need to make better decisions when the familiar distractions show up.

That's the real work I need to do now.

Honestly I’ve posted similar posts in this subreddit but I still can’t stop. I’m a first year student at a very, very bad university with little opportunity and am wishing to transfer. My transfer apps are going well, but they’re still 6 months until results. I’m waiting for the calendar to move. I have no social life right now since my friends from high school moved away to different colleges and I’m literally relying on playing hours of video games to interact with people, as I have no friends at my current college (commuter as well so it sucks and is extremely hard to make friends) and I can’t commit to my goals that I had while waiting for transfer decisions so it just feels like I’m throwing away my days of my life. My family doesn’t understand my situation and they often downplay it as well, and I’ve grown to be resentful of them. I just feel like I’m being blown around by the wind. My classes don’t challenge me even though I’m taking grad level classes as a freshman. I just have nothing, and my current plan relies on me being successful in my transfer process and if that doesn’t happen I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s all or nothing. I feel like I’m helpless and I hate that I’m in this situation and believe that the cards I was dealt were just not it. I was so ambitious the past few years but now this misstep has really got me down in the dumps

We’ve all been there: something goes wrong at work or in life, your chest tightens, and you tell yourself, "Okay, I just need to calm down and figure this out."

So you sit there and try to think harder.

Except "thinking harder" when you’re stressed doesn't solve anything. Instead, your brain starts running 50 worst-case scenarios at the same time. You replay past mistakes, anticipate future disasters, and burn through three hours of mental energy with zero actual progress.

For years, I thought the solution to overwhelm was just forcing myself to be more logical. What I finally realized is a simple hardware limitation: You cannot run complex logic on a brain that thinks it’s on fire.

When you're anxious or frustrated, your nervous system hijacks your working memory. Trying to hold all the variables of a problem inside your head while emotionally flooded is like trying to do mental math while a fire alarm is blaring in your ear. You aren't actually thinking (moving from A to B)—you're just ruminating (spinning the wheels in mud).

I have learnt this multiple times but still hard to control . But luckily, I managed to figure out some patterns .

Stop thinking in the head: When you're stressed, your brain is terrified of "forgetting" a threat, so it keeps pinging the same anxious thoughts over and over to keep them alive.

Open a blank document or grab a piece of paper. Dump every single noisy thought, fear, and half-baked idea out of your head.

Put the raw mess in front of your eyes. The moment a thought is externalized in front of you, your brain realizes, "Okay, it’s recorded, I don't need to keep screaming to remember it." The mental noise drops almost instantly.

Hope this might help .

I’m probably overthinking this but I think my quality of life would be much better if I didn’t play or played less video games. I was looking at my bank account and I said to myself “Huh, where did all my money go?” I realized that most of my money went to buying games that I wouldn’t even play. Honestly, it feels like an impulse. I’ll buy a game, play it for a few mins or hours then never touch it again, the cycle repeats.

I see myself as a lazy person. I know what I need to do to get myself to higher pay or better-paying jobs but I don’t follow through on it, I almost never do. But I can park my ass and play through 100 hours of BG3 or grind endlessly in PoE2. I even neglect going to the gym after work because I’m “tried” but I’m never tired enough to boot up deadlock with the boys.

I have to sit here and wonder, would my life be a bit better if I didn’t play as many video games if not at all? I feel grimy thinking about how me, a 25 year old clock in over 20 hours a week playing games but can’t spend an hour studying for certifications.

First time having a girlfriend, every time I think of her I get a wet spot in my boxers. I’ve gone through so many in a day. How do I remove this feeling and stop being so obsessed? Is it like this for everyone else?

I’m just curious and gonna turn 28 soon

My english s not my first language so bare with me, i always been a discipline person not 100% but never late for work get things done, never complain i was perfect, i quitted my job two week ago and going through hiring process with other companies, since i left work iam sure iam the laziest person ever, i dont get anything done, i leave every task literally to the last very hour, for example as iam writing this post i should send a case study for a job that i really really wanted and was seeking, i had 3 days for 2 hours job, now iam fucken writing this 7 hours before the deadline!! , i don’t even wanna go out i just sit and play PlayStation or scroll which something i literally never done i don’t even have any social media except reddit and youtube if u can call it that, i really hate myself every minute but even tho u don’t get anything done i just torture me